Dave
Staff member
I think my wife would be all, "What the fuck are you doing?"
Online Dating, or How I Learned to Continue Worrying and Be Single
- Thread starter Chad Sexington
- Start date
I was dating a girl that was working her way through college working at a day care center. Her roommate HATED kids. We started joking about what her roommate would say if she were working at the day care center.
Her: "Go play in the street."
Me: "Here, play with these matches."
Her: "Yes, you can eat that paste."
Me: "Here, take these scissors and take them to Grandma, and HURRY!"
Her: ...
Me: ...
Her: "Did I ever tell you how I lost my eye?"
Her: "Go play in the street."
Me: "Here, play with these matches."
Her: "Yes, you can eat that paste."
Me: "Here, take these scissors and take them to Grandma, and HURRY!"
Her: ...
Me: ...
Her: "Did I ever tell you how I lost my eye?"
Dave
Staff member
You chose...wisely.
Cajungal
Staff member
I have never done online dating, but a friend of mine met some weird girls that way.
One of them would bring her mother with her when she visited him in the hospital (he has ulcerative colitis and went through a bad time a few years back, but he's better now). But yeah, she would sit in the corner knitting while they talked. One time Jake and I were there, and we invited them to come to an out of town standup show with us. The mom chimes in, "I don't know if she should be going there...we'll have to see."
Another girl convinced him to change his major, although that says a lot about him as well, though.
One of them would bring her mother with her when she visited him in the hospital (he has ulcerative colitis and went through a bad time a few years back, but he's better now). But yeah, she would sit in the corner knitting while they talked. One time Jake and I were there, and we invited them to come to an out of town standup show with us. The mom chimes in, "I don't know if she should be going there...we'll have to see."
Another girl convinced him to change his major, although that says a lot about him as well, though.
M
Melody.malca
If u being single no need to be worry,,,! Keep smiling for every single day. Cause god had the other plan for everyone. Belive in destiny and just let the time to answer it! 
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Seems legit.
@steinman I like that "first date" idea. I might have to figure out how I can work that one out, sometime.
I never really "dated," per se. I met my first "serious" girlfriend online through a friend, she stayed with me long-distance all through boot camp, until I realized that there just wasn't... anything there. Like she was a check mark on a list of things "to do" (so to speak - she was a good little Christian girl, and I mean that with absolutely no sarcasm, she was a sweetheart), and the giddiness from the initial phase of the relationship wore off to show that I didn't have any feelings to back it up.
So I did the honest thing and told her.
It.... did not go well.
I puttered around for a while after that, met a girl who I thought was pretty cute at Starbucks while I was working at the Mall. We met for coffee a couple times, then she took me back to her place... her parents place.
It went for a while, we did okay together. Then one day she told me that she quit taking her anti-depressant, cold turkey. She had been on Paxil, which in my experience through the department has shown me to have some of the most serious side-effects when one quits taking it.
She went completely around the twist. After I got activated, she broke up with me (on Valentine's Day, right when I thought I was getting geared up for deployment - classy), then tried to extort money and a laptop from my sister, who was living with me at the time. The sister who carries a large pipe wrench for personal protection.
When I was hanging out with a buddy in the Corps, we goofed around with accents at a bar, just playing around, not really going anywhere with it - his was Irish, mine was Scottish. The only one who bit on it was the bartender, who asked where we were from. Glenn said, in his best County Cork accent "He's from Scotland... I'm German." We had a lot of fun together, Glenn and I.
My wife, I met in the Corps. Time with her was about the only time I've "dated," and even that was pretty non-standard. When she got discharged, she didn't really have anywhere to go, so I invited her to live with me. Bear in mind that we'd only been going out for a year at this point, and that was almost entirely long-distance, too.
I wouldn't know what to do with the standard "dinner-and-drinks" date if it was gift-wrapped to me.
I never really "dated," per se. I met my first "serious" girlfriend online through a friend, she stayed with me long-distance all through boot camp, until I realized that there just wasn't... anything there. Like she was a check mark on a list of things "to do" (so to speak - she was a good little Christian girl, and I mean that with absolutely no sarcasm, she was a sweetheart), and the giddiness from the initial phase of the relationship wore off to show that I didn't have any feelings to back it up.
So I did the honest thing and told her.
It.... did not go well.
I puttered around for a while after that, met a girl who I thought was pretty cute at Starbucks while I was working at the Mall. We met for coffee a couple times, then she took me back to her place... her parents place.
It went for a while, we did okay together. Then one day she told me that she quit taking her anti-depressant, cold turkey. She had been on Paxil, which in my experience through the department has shown me to have some of the most serious side-effects when one quits taking it.
She went completely around the twist. After I got activated, she broke up with me (on Valentine's Day, right when I thought I was getting geared up for deployment - classy), then tried to extort money and a laptop from my sister, who was living with me at the time. The sister who carries a large pipe wrench for personal protection.
When I was hanging out with a buddy in the Corps, we goofed around with accents at a bar, just playing around, not really going anywhere with it - his was Irish, mine was Scottish. The only one who bit on it was the bartender, who asked where we were from. Glenn said, in his best County Cork accent "He's from Scotland... I'm German." We had a lot of fun together, Glenn and I.
My wife, I met in the Corps. Time with her was about the only time I've "dated," and even that was pretty non-standard. When she got discharged, she didn't really have anywhere to go, so I invited her to live with me. Bear in mind that we'd only been going out for a year at this point, and that was almost entirely long-distance, too.
I wouldn't know what to do with the standard "dinner-and-drinks" date if it was gift-wrapped to me.
Ha, not brutally negative. And possible, although her insistence about wanting to please me, and subsequent backpedaling makes me think it was intentional.
I can't even handle people who say, "That's funny!" instead of laughing. I would have just gotten up and left.
I do a decent Irish accent, and a friend once bet me $50 I couldn't keep it up all night. Girls were dragging me to other girls announcing, "HE'S FROM IRELAND! LISTEN TO HIM TALK!"
Were it not for the incredible amount of Guinness I had consumed making me essentially a puddle, I probably could have sealed the deal, so to speak. The painful hangover in the morning, and inevitable forgetting to continue the accent would have made breakfast pretty awkward though.
Thanks, tips.If u being single no need to be worry,,,! Keep smiling for every single day. Cause god had the other plan for everyone. Belive in destiny and just let the time to answer it!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Definitely.
I'm going to start using that expression.
Do you now?
Maybe where I differ in the accent debate is that no matter how good the accent, I would never just hop into bed with a guy. So, I would be safe from the humiliation of the next morning encounter. I would probably flirt so hard though. Oh, so hard.
But, I mean, this is all in a fake scenario because I'm married. I'm just saying, accents do it for me. They really do it for me.
My husband speaks Spanish, not fluently but enough that he could hold a conversation with his Mexican grandmother without accidentally insulting her, and when he says things to me in Spanish it turns me into a giggling mess.
You might be surprised, I know a girl who is really attracted to German accents!
I'm not saying that Dutch and German are the same, I'm just saying...there are all kinds out in this world. =^^=
Girls with German accents... Yeah, that does it for me.[DOUBLEPOST=1391191574,1391191493][/DOUBLEPOST]
What?! Standards?!Do you now?
Maybe where I differ in the accent debate is that no matter how good the accent, I would never just hop into bed with a guy.
Well, it seems I can do a pretty believable scottish accent even if I don't try, decent enough for irish people at last. When I was there the last time I got asked twice by the B&B people (different ones) from what part of scotland I came.
I'm still german, hah.
Later I found out that my local dialect rolls the letter 'r' the same way the scots do.
I'm still german, hah.
Later I found out that my local dialect rolls the letter 'r' the same way the scots do.
I know right? What's up with that?? How dare I!
I know. Women these days.[DOUBLEPOST=1391193187][/DOUBLEPOST]
Let's hear it, darling.
You already said French.
Piotyr beat me to it, and this is coming from someone who used to live there. *grins*
Because I grew up in a certain region of Ohio, I have an almost perfectly neutral accent... which somehow drives foreign girls crazy. Apparently they think I sound amazing because I sound like how "Americans" sound in Hollywood movies and TV. It works especially well on English women for some reason.
This hasn't lead to any fun dates mind you. They just like to listen to me talk.
This hasn't lead to any fun dates mind you. They just like to listen to me talk.
GasBandit
Staff member
Sometimes on Tuesday or by a couch?Because I grew up in a certain region of Ohio, I have an almost perfectly neutral accent... which somehow drives foreign girls crazy. Apparently they think I sound amazing because I sound like how "Americans" sound in Hollywood movies and TV. It works especially well on English women for some reason.
This hasn't lead to any fun dates mind you. They just like to listen to me talk.
Did you try drawing them a picture of a horse?
That... pretty much describes my high school dating scene.
Go away, or I shall ask you inappropriate sexual questions a second time!This should have been my first clue
I was laughing until I remembered that part is true.
To borrow what someone already said. You already said French.I was laughing until I remembered that part is true.
I dated a guy who had some real control issues. We had been dating for a month or so, but it wasn't exactly serious. I got my belly button pierced (shush...it was 1995) and he did not approve. While we were arguing about me doing whatever I want with my body he told me that he hoped it got infected and rotted through to my back. Needless to say the relationship ended shortly afterward.
A few date stories from my single time (mostly 17 to 22)
- Met this pretty girl on the bus. We chatted a bit. I was passing the time. Her stop comes up and she asked me for my number. Nice! I give it. She calls me the same night. We talk for a day or two. Hit it off pretty nicely. Go for coffee at Tim's. She's there and I'm there. We chat for like 2 hours. We're having fun. I'm digging her. She pulls one of the free newspapers and turns to the astrology section. She freaks out for a moment reading her sign and says with huge green eyes, "Jason, what sign are you? I can't believe I haven't asked you that!" She then informs me how she was really into astrology. I immediately thought to myself..."Ho boy, here we go". Then I find our this 19 year old apparently has only dated Scorpios and since I was a Gemini she was iffy to continue the date. The whole two face thing. I smile at the jokes. It isn't. She then takes her purse and leaves. I sit there shocked. She never called me back. Th
- Met this girl online. Chatting for a bit and became friends to some degree. I met someone else. She remains a friend. A few months later I'm single. She and I are chatting. She says we should go out on a date. I agree. I lived in the East Island back then, she lived in the West. We decided to hit a resto in the Plateau Mont-Royal, halfway into the center of the city. Nice place, great restos but parking is bullshit. I'm trying to find a place to park for 20 minutes. It's winter and snow banks make it hell. Finally find it. I prepare to parallel park and someone in a tiny care stole my parking spot. I'm pissed but life sucks sometimes. I texted her I was going to be late as someone stole a parking spot I just found and just as I sent the text my phone receives one from her stating she stole some schmuck's spot but that "he probably deserved it." That was an awkward start to a date. After meeting her in real life, I realized she was a shitty person anyway. Who does that to a stranger though? Talk about rude. I banged her though. She was pretty hot.
- Met this girl online, worked hard to get her to answer me, chat with me. Honestly, took 2 solid weeks to get her to come out with me. As far as I felt, we were a match. We're flirting, we're chatting about life, past, present future. All is well. She was also beautiful and totally my type. Brunette with hazel eyes. Jay Kryptonite. Hobbies. All that. She was intelligent and had a very well-written profile. We talk on the phone a lot, we exchange pics all the time. No problem. We decide to go do some shopping at a mall then hit a park for a picnic. It was a nice summer day. She shows up. At least 7 months pregnant. Big belly. My eyes go huge and my jaw drops. Talk about awkward. I felt like a baby daddy at 20. We sit down and chat a bit "Soooo you're, uh... yeah, you're pregnant. What's up with that Erica?"
She apologized and looked teary-eyed, said that that father was a loser, her family didn't know him, she hasn't been out in forever yet alone on a date. I felt bad and we proceeded with the date. I just felt sorry and I'd like to believe that I had done a good deed. No way in hell was I happy though, she lied to me and barely spoke to her afterwards. Apparently she was giving it up for adoption (although later I found out she kept it). Needless to say, it was probably the most awkward date I've ever been on.
But wait there's more... but there's a toll to pay...
- Met this pretty girl on the bus. We chatted a bit. I was passing the time. Her stop comes up and she asked me for my number. Nice! I give it. She calls me the same night. We talk for a day or two. Hit it off pretty nicely. Go for coffee at Tim's. She's there and I'm there. We chat for like 2 hours. We're having fun. I'm digging her. She pulls one of the free newspapers and turns to the astrology section. She freaks out for a moment reading her sign and says with huge green eyes, "Jason, what sign are you? I can't believe I haven't asked you that!" She then informs me how she was really into astrology. I immediately thought to myself..."Ho boy, here we go". Then I find our this 19 year old apparently has only dated Scorpios and since I was a Gemini she was iffy to continue the date. The whole two face thing. I smile at the jokes. It isn't. She then takes her purse and leaves. I sit there shocked. She never called me back. Th
- Met this girl online. Chatting for a bit and became friends to some degree. I met someone else. She remains a friend. A few months later I'm single. She and I are chatting. She says we should go out on a date. I agree. I lived in the East Island back then, she lived in the West. We decided to hit a resto in the Plateau Mont-Royal, halfway into the center of the city. Nice place, great restos but parking is bullshit. I'm trying to find a place to park for 20 minutes. It's winter and snow banks make it hell. Finally find it. I prepare to parallel park and someone in a tiny care stole my parking spot. I'm pissed but life sucks sometimes. I texted her I was going to be late as someone stole a parking spot I just found and just as I sent the text my phone receives one from her stating she stole some schmuck's spot but that "he probably deserved it." That was an awkward start to a date. After meeting her in real life, I realized she was a shitty person anyway. Who does that to a stranger though? Talk about rude. I banged her though. She was pretty hot.
- Met this girl online, worked hard to get her to answer me, chat with me. Honestly, took 2 solid weeks to get her to come out with me. As far as I felt, we were a match. We're flirting, we're chatting about life, past, present future. All is well. She was also beautiful and totally my type. Brunette with hazel eyes. Jay Kryptonite. Hobbies. All that. She was intelligent and had a very well-written profile. We talk on the phone a lot, we exchange pics all the time. No problem. We decide to go do some shopping at a mall then hit a park for a picnic. It was a nice summer day. She shows up. At least 7 months pregnant. Big belly. My eyes go huge and my jaw drops. Talk about awkward. I felt like a baby daddy at 20. We sit down and chat a bit "Soooo you're, uh... yeah, you're pregnant. What's up with that Erica?"
She apologized and looked teary-eyed, said that that father was a loser, her family didn't know him, she hasn't been out in forever yet alone on a date. I felt bad and we proceeded with the date. I just felt sorry and I'd like to believe that I had done a good deed. No way in hell was I happy though, she lied to me and barely spoke to her afterwards. Apparently she was giving it up for adoption (although later I found out she kept it). Needless to say, it was probably the most awkward date I've ever been on.
But wait there's more... but there's a toll to pay...
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