Dating soon after a break-up

Null

Null

Yeah. When I was dating that widow she texted me like 70 times in one evening while I was working and couldn't really respond. Once we finally got together for our 2nd date, I basically said, "What the fuck was up with that?" I had been able to respond 3 times.

1st: "Hey I'm at work but you can call me later, I'll be off by 10."

2nd: "Wow lot of messages can't really respond now talk to you later"

3rd: "holy shit are you fucking psycho"
 
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GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
You guys wanna talk about a double standard? These days any given woman can freely talk about owning a vibrator with barely a flutter in the room at a coffee house.

But if a guy quietly admits to owning any kind of sex toy at all, he's a revolting deviant. Why is a Magic Bullet more socially acceptable than a Fleshlight? Is it a vestigial holdover from the old "gays are gross but lesbians are ok" frame of thought that comes from the belittling point of view that it's not "really" sex unless a live, real penis is involved?
 
Reverent-one

Reverent-one

GasBandit said:
You guys wanna talk about a double standard? These days any given woman can freely talk about owning a vibrator with barely a flutter in the room at a coffee house.

But if a guy quietly admits to owning any kind of sex toy at all, he's a revolting deviant. Why is a Magic Bullet more socially acceptable than a Fleshlight? Is it a vestigial holdover from the old "gays are gross but lesbians are ok" frame of thought that comes from the belittling point of view that it's not "really" sex unless a live, real penis is involved?
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Huh, I just had this conversation recently. My take was that it's because in societies' eyes a man shouldn't need a sex toy, he should be able to go out and find and win over an actual woman if he feels the need, while women are expected to be more chaste, so using sex toys is perferable to them sleeping around causually.
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
Related, semi-NSFW video.

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Reverent-one said:
Huh, I just had this conversation recently. My take was that it's because in societies' eyes a man shouldn't need a sex toy, he should be able to go out and find and win over an actual woman if he feels the need, while women are expected to be more chaste, so using sex toys is perferable to them sleeping around causually.
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Ah yes, I'd forgotten, the old "Sex is a conquest, and women are the territory" metaphor. Still doesn't seem consistent that it should persist today, though, does it?
 
IronBrig4

IronBrig4

Reverent-one said:
Huh, I just had this conversation recently. My take was that it's because in societies' eyes a man shouldn't need a sex toy, he should be able to go out and find and win over an actual woman if he feels the need, while women are expected to be more chaste, so using sex toys is perferable to them sleeping around causually.
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I agree. Sex toys for females were originally seen as tools to, um, release tension so women would not sleep around.
 
Null

Null

And to treat "female hysteria", the therapy for which was essentially to give the woman an orgasm. Since doing that manually got to be a bit of a chore for male doctors, they developed a variety of electric massagers.

Yup. Vibrators were originally a medical device for doctors who were tired of fingerblasting repressed housewives.
 
Celt Z

Celt Z

GasBandit said:
You guys wanna talk about a double standard? These days any given woman can freely talk about owning a vibrator with barely a flutter in the room at a coffee house.
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I'm not sure what coffee houses you're hanging out in, but only in some circles can something like this be admitted. I knew a girl freshman year of college who's roommates found out she had a sex toy (not because she used it in front of them) and they raked her over the coals for it to the point that she had to move out. Not all women are okay with admitting they'd want or use a sex toy and a lot of women out there still see it as "deviant", though it does seem that number is shrinking.
 
Just Me

Just Me

Null said:
And to treat "female hysteria", the therapy for which was essentially to give the woman an orgasm. Since doing that manually got to be a bit of a chore for male doctors, they developed a variety of electric massagers.

Yup. Vibrators were originally a medical device for doctors who were tired of fingerblasting repressed housewives.
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Not really unsafe, but probably unsuitable for work.
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
Celt Z said:
I'm not sure what coffee houses you're hanging out in, but only in some circles can something like this be admitted. I knew a girl freshman year of college who's roommates found out she had a sex toy (not because she used it in front of them) and they raked her over the coals for it to the point that she had to move out. Not all women are okay with admitting they'd want or use a sex toy and a lot of women out there still see it as "deviant", though it does seem that number is shrinking.
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Just out of curiosity, what college was this?
 
Null

Null

Celt Z said:
I'm not sure what coffee houses you're hanging out in, but only in some circles can something like this be admitted. I knew a girl freshman year of college who's roommates found out she had a sex toy (not because she used it in front of them) and they raked her over the coals for it to the point that she had to move out. Not all women are okay with admitting they'd want or use a sex toy and a lot of women out there still see it as "deviant", though it does seem that number is shrinking.
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Conversely, I had female coworkers openly planning a "sex toy party" - like a tupperware party but for a different form of plastic product - at work. And discussing previous such affairs. Apparently there was one appliance that could be mistaken for a Maglite or police baton in poor lighting.
 
Adam

Adam

I would be scared to date a woman who didn't have one kicking around. My flesh does get weak on occasion!
 
Cajungal

Cajungal

Staff member
Not to defend the double standard, but it probably had something to do with the fact that we've been free to express our sexuality safely for a shorter amount of time. So not only is it ok to have toys but let's over compensate by waving them around at a bar the night before my friend gets married. That said, it's certainly not fair. Sex toys are equally weird and creepy looking. Although neon rubbery dicks are hilarious. Maybe that's part of it.
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
Cajungal said:
Not to defend the double standard, but it probably had something to do with the fact that we've been free to express our sexuality safely for a shorter amount of time. So not only is it ok to have toys but let's over compensate by waving them around at a bar the night before my friend gets married. That said, it's certainly not fair. Sex toys are equally weird and creepy looking. Although neon rubbery dicks are hilarious. Maybe that's part of it.
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There was a cobalt blue alien vagina fleshlight in the buzzfeed video.
 
AshburnerX

AshburnerX

GasBandit said:
There was a cobalt blue alien vagina fleshlight in the buzzfeed video.
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This is certainly part of the problem: Western makers have made these horrifying looking monstrosities that are essentially an H.R. Geiger drawing inside a flashlight. The Japanese ones just look like weird nicknacks until you open them up but this hasn't caught on domestically yet. I guess it's not any weirder than the animal, alien, and fantasy dongs they make, but it's certainly more terrifying to look at.
 
Null

Null

GasBandit said:
The guy who got assigned to it in the video thought it was for Mystique. My first thought was Liara.
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Okay so with those three... plus the blue chick from Farscape, some of those blue Twi'leks like Aayla Secura... Yeah, alright. I get the market for it now. I wouldn't get one, but I can see how they'd sell enough to make it worth while.
 
AshburnerX

AshburnerX

Null said:
Okay so with those three... plus the blue chick from Farscape, some of those blue Twi'leks like Aayla Secura... Yeah, alright. I get the market for it now. I wouldn't get one, but I can see how they'd sell enough to make it worth while.
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They are literally press-molded silicone. It's so cheap to make these... and they are usually dishwasher safe.
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
Cajungal said:
What, you don't want a jizzy accessory nestled between your coffee mugs?
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I don't think you can just toss it in the dishwasher and call it done. I mean, this is a semi-closed cavity we're talking about here.. gonna have to get up in there with some kind of spraying nozzle, maybe a toothbrush...

... don't mix up the toothbrushes later.
 
AshburnerX

AshburnerX

GasBandit said:
Probably the biggest reason I wouldn't own one of those is the idea of having to clean it out afterwards.
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You have to clean your other sex toys too, especially if you use them with random hook-ups. I mean... it's not like people put condoms on dildos. Usually.
 
Cajungal

Cajungal

Staff member
It's more funny when you over simplify it though.

I see some guy whistling down his hallway, used item in hand, and he busies himself with loading the dishwasher. Then he probably eats Chef Boyardee ravioli right out of the can using a big serving spoon, because all his little spoons are in the dishwasher. With the item.
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
AshburnerX said:
You have to clean your other sex toys too, especially if you use them with random hook-ups. I mean... it's not like people put condoms on dildos. Usually.
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But at least with a dildo you're just wiping down the outside, not having to spoon out a (surprisingly complex) interior space of all the collected baby batter.[DOUBLEPOST=1416872344,1416872236][/DOUBLEPOST]Or it just occurs to me, maybe I have this all wrong. Maybe the reason it's held in a cup, and the reason they were able to show a cross section, is because the pseudovagina is actually two halves that are just held together by the cup exterior... so you take it out and separate them for easy cleaning. Hence, dishwasher.
 
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