Once again I, on the Pacific Rim, am the first to reach 2022! My resolution is the same as it has always been: to reach next year without incident. Happy new year!
I'm over a week late, because I forgot to check my favourite annual tradition at the end of each year: learning what idiots got stuck in certain orifices.
I choked on my tea laughing at “PATIENT WAS HAVING SEX WITH HER BOYFRIEND LAST NIGHT AND A VIBRATOR WAS PLACED IN HER VAGINA IT IS STILL VIBRATING AND IS STUCK” . I'm sure that is insanely uncomfortable and embarrassing, but the fact that it's still vibrating...
Meanwhile, my eyes can't roll hard enough at the guys who swear they "just sat on something" and it happened to get stuck in their rectum. Okay, so, your clothes just "magically" disappeared at that moment, but even a vagina that had pushed out a baby or so still needs a little effort to get a tampon in, so there is NO WAY your rectum suddenly became a space vacuum and perfectly HOOVERED up a nearby object with no effort on your part. You embarrass yourself more by even trying to lie.
....gahhh, I'm so annoyed. Look what you made me do, internet!