70-minute hilarious review of Star Wars: Phantom Menace

[Chad Sexington]

I just spent 70 minutes crying with laughter. Highly recommend. Here's the first chunk.



Edit: It's a review I wish I'd made and secretly believe Charlie Don't Surf could have.

 

[Soliloquy]

I really like the first part, but I'm not sure I want to spend 70 minutes watching through all 7.

The whole "describe the characters" thing was brilliant, though.

 

[Krisken]

Ok, the Shatnarian's was fucking funny.

 

[strawman]

Eh. It didn't make me laugh (saw the fist part only), but is an interesting take - I really thought the "describe the characters" bit was a brilliant bit of propaganda, but if each of them had seen episode 1 as often as they had seen the original trilogy, they'd have a lot more to say about the characters. I think episode one is a movie most people have seen only once or twice, and would like to forget.

 

[Zarvox]

Watched the whole thing. Overall, it was funny, and had some insightful things to say. That said (and I don't remember if he introduces this in the first one), there's a running gag that the narrator is crazy and kidnaps and butchers people. Not my style of humor. Still, worth the 70 minutes.

 

[Kitty Sinatra]

ass voice

Ho Ho Ho




eace:

 

[Tinwhistler]

ass voice

Ho Ho Ho




eace:[/QUOTE]

 

[Dubyamn]

Eh. It didn't make me laugh (saw the fist part only), but is an interesting take - I really thought the "describe the characters" bit was a brilliant bit of propaganda, but if each of them had seen episode 1 as often as they had seen the original trilogy, they'd have a lot more to say about the characters. I think episode one is a movie most people have seen only once or twice, and would like to forget.

Yeah but I've seen the Phantom Menace 5 times and I still can't really think of too much to say about Queen Amidala. She follows Quigon around on Tantooine complains a little then gets back on the ship and makes goo goo eyes with an 8 year old, is convinced by palpatine to dispose the previous chancellor, makes the speech to dispose the old chancellor, Reveals herself to be queen to secure the aid of the gungans and then leads the assualt to take back the palace.

There is nothing in any of the prequel movies that really raises her above a kind of cardboard cutout.

 

[Chazwozel]

ass voice

Ho Ho Ho




eace:[/quote]


Now I have a machine gun.


...because I'm the protinagist


And that review is pure genius. I cried from laughing at some parts.

---------- Post added at 09:28 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:23 AM ----------

Eh. It didn't make me laugh (saw the fist part only), but is an interesting take - I really thought the "describe the characters" bit was a brilliant bit of propaganda, but if each of them had seen episode 1 as often as they had seen the original trilogy, they'd have a lot more to say about the characters. I think episode one is a movie most people have seen only once or twice, and would like to forget.

Yeah but I've seen the Phantom Menace 5 times and I still can't really think of too much to say about Queen Amidala. She follows Quigon around on Tantooine complains a little then gets back on the ship and makes goo goo eyes with an 8 year old, is convinced by palpatine to dispose the previous chancellor, makes the speech to dispose the old chancellor, Reveals herself to be queen to secure the aid of the gungans and then leads the assualt to take back the palace.

There is nothing in any of the prequel movies that really raises her above a kind of cardboard cutout.[/QUOTE]


This goes on throughout the series not just the single movie. Queen Amidala doesn't grow AT ALL as a character. She's Ankin's love interest. That's it!

 

[Silver Jelly]

Watched the whole thing. Overall, it was funny, and had some insightful things to say. That said (and I don't remember if he introduces this in the first one), there's a running gag that the narrator is crazy and kidnaps and butchers people. Not my style of humor. Still, worth the 70 minutes.

I'm in part 4 but I agree: the stuff he says is very interesting, but the jokes about kidnapping and killing people are taken too far (and too frequently) for my tastes...

 

[Chazwozel]

Watched the whole thing. Overall, it was funny, and had some insightful things to say. That said (and I don't remember if he introduces this in the first one), there's a running gag that the narrator is crazy and kidnaps and butchers people. Not my style of humor. Still, worth the 70 minutes.

I'm in part 4 but I agree: the stuff he says is very interesting, but the jokes about kidnapping and killing people are taken too far (and too frequently) for my tastes...[/QUOTE]


What?!??!? His basement is priceless. I love it!

"Mista, please let me go. I promise I won't tell nobody."
"Quite, I'm making my youtube movie."

 

[Silver Jelly]

Watched the whole thing. Overall, it was funny, and had some insightful things to say. That said (and I don't remember if he introduces this in the first one), there's a running gag that the narrator is crazy and kidnaps and butchers people. Not my style of humor. Still, worth the 70 minutes.

I'm in part 4 but I agree: the stuff he says is very interesting, but the jokes about kidnapping and killing people are taken too far (and too frequently) for my tastes...[/QUOTE]


What?!??!? His basement is priceless. I love it!

"Mista, please let me go. I promise I won't tell nobody."
"Quite, I'm making my youtube movie."[/QUOTE]

Well, while I think the "Senor Cardgage reviews Episode I" is an original idea, I would have found it funnier if that kind of jokes were more subtle. The "group of cheerleaders" one, for example, was kind of funny, but all we see is a picture of a group of cheerleaders and he says it.
The tied up woman, the screams of the korean family followed by the cries of a baby or the extended advice on how to kill a hooker feel to me like he is trying too hard.

But, of course, everybody has different tastes!

 

[Chazwozel]

Watched the whole thing. Overall, it was funny, and had some insightful things to say. That said (and I don't remember if he introduces this in the first one), there's a running gag that the narrator is crazy and kidnaps and butchers people. Not my style of humor. Still, worth the 70 minutes.

I'm in part 4 but I agree: the stuff he says is very interesting, but the jokes about kidnapping and killing people are taken too far (and too frequently) for my tastes...[/quote]


What?!??!? His basement is priceless. I love it!

"Mista, please let me go. I promise I won't tell nobody."
"Quite, I'm making my youtube movie."[/quote]

Well, while I think the "Senor Cardgage reviews Episode I" is an original idea, I would have found it funnier if that kind of jokes were more subtle. The "group of cheerleaders" one, for example, was kind of funny, but all we see is a picture of a group of cheerleaders and he says it.
The tied up woman, the screams of the korean family followed by the cries of a baby or the extended advice on how to kill a hooker feel to me like he is trying too hard.

But, of course, everybody has different tastes![/QUOTE]

The only one were he kills the joke with over the top antics is the screams. I loved the pizza roll at the end.

 

[Silver Jelly]

Watched the whole thing. Overall, it was funny, and had some insightful things to say. That said (and I don't remember if he introduces this in the first one), there's a running gag that the narrator is crazy and kidnaps and butchers people. Not my style of humor. Still, worth the 70 minutes.

I'm in part 4 but I agree: the stuff he says is very interesting, but the jokes about kidnapping and killing people are taken too far (and too frequently) for my tastes...[/quote]


What?!??!? His basement is priceless. I love it!

"Mista, please let me go. I promise I won't tell nobody."
"Quite, I'm making my youtube movie."[/quote]

Well, while I think the "Senor Cardgage reviews Episode I" is an original idea, I would have found it funnier if that kind of jokes were more subtle. The "group of cheerleaders" one, for example, was kind of funny, but all we see is a picture of a group of cheerleaders and he says it.
The tied up woman, the screams of the korean family followed by the cries of a baby or the extended advice on how to kill a hooker feel to me like he is trying too hard.

But, of course, everybody has different tastes![/QUOTE]

The only one were he kills the joke with over the top antics is the screams. I loved the pizza roll at the end.[/QUOTE]

The pizza roll made me laugh too.

 

[Chad Sexington]

I liked the weird morbid bits, I actually had to pause the review when he was describing how to use Raid to kill a hooker -it just caught me so off guard, and he's so matter-of-fact about it, like he's annoyed at the incompetence of the screenwriters for not having that experience.

And man do I want some pizza rolls.

 

[Chazwozel]

I liked the weird morbid bits, I actually had to pause the review when he was describing how to use Raid to kill a hooker -it just caught me so off guard, and he's so matter-of-fact about it, like he's annoyed at the incompetence of the screenwriters for not having that experience.

And man do I want some pizza rolls.

...about 6 cans of the blue one will do. I just love his drunken monotone voice.

 

[Rob King]

What?!??!? His basement is priceless. I love it!

"Mista, please let me go. I promise I won't tell nobody."
"Quite, I'm making my youtube movie."

I thought it was pretty funny, but if he had just cut out the part where she talked ... It wouldn't make the joke subtle, but as it is it's a bit over the top.

 

[ElJuski]

Yeah no I've seen the prequel trilogy enough times. They're just really horrible scripts, with a lot of flashy set pieces. Lucas is an idea man, not a writer or director (remember the best Star Wars were done by different directors).

 

[Rubicon]

His voice annoyed the shit outta me in the first 10 seconds, and then I skipped ahead if he was gonna quit it. He didn't so I didn't watch any more than that. Why the fuck put on such a fake ass voice?

This.

I watched the entire first clip, and it had some funny moments but that voice was annoying, and the running gag of not being able to pronounce protagonist got old..fast.

 

[Rob King]

I found it funny when he'd talk like he was educated, screw it up, and then get pissy at the audience for not being inteligent.

"Just like when the Germans invaded France. You might have heard of it. A thing called the French Revolution. God, seriously. You need to read a book."

 

[TwoBit]

His review for Star Trek: Nemesis was good, too.

Also, Pizza Rolls. Do want.

 

[Gusto]

This concept just reminds me of CDS' Live Transformers 2 review.

 

[Bowielee]

I did laugh when he talks about getting the girl in the end and shows clips, one of which is Charlie and Willy Wonka hugging at the end of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory.

 

[Heavan]

I found it funny when he'd talk like he was educated, screw it up, and then get pissy at the audience for not being inteligent.

"Just like when the Germans invaded France. You might have heard of it. A thing called the French Revolution. God, seriously. You need to read a book."

Well, to be fair, Prussia did attack France in the aftermath of the Revolution, but I wouldn't call it an invasion.

 

[Chazwozel]

His voice annoyed the shit outta me in the first 10 seconds, and then I skipped ahead if he was gonna quit it. He didn't so I didn't watch any more than that. Why the fuck put on such a fake ass voice?

This.

I watched the entire first clip, and it had some funny moments but that voice was annoying, and the running gag of not being able to pronounce protagonist got old..fast.[/QUOTE]


This is why you guys don't have any friends.

 

[ElJuski]

I know a guy that talks like that. FOR REALSIES

 

[blotsfan]

I found it funny when he'd talk like he was educated, screw it up, and then get pissy at the audience for not being inteligent.

"Just like when the Germans invaded France. You might have heard of it. A thing called the French Revolution. God, seriously. You need to read a book."

Well, to be fair, Prussia did attack France in the aftermath of the Revolution, but I wouldn't call it an invasion.[/QUOTE]
He said Nazis, not Germans.

 

[Soliloquy]

You know, given his description of a common protagonist:

Usually the protagonist is somebody that's down on their luck, in a bad place in their lives, or someone where everything just doesn't go perfectly for them. Eventually they'll be confronted with some kind of obstacle or strugle that they gotta deal with, and if we like them, we hope they succeed. The drama in the film is the result of us rooting for them against opposition. Eventually, our [protoganist] will find themselves in their lowest point when it seems like all is lost. But eventually they pull through and conquer whatever force opposes them. It's satisfying when our hero gets ahead from where they started off at. They make like a change. This is called an "arc".

When he asked who the protagonist of The Phantom Menace was, I actually had an answer:

 

[blotsfan]

You know, given his description of a common protagonist:

Usually the protagonist is somebody that's down on their luck, in a bad place in their lives, or someone where everything just doesn't go perfectly for them. Eventually they'll be confronted with some kind of obstacle or strugle that they gotta deal with, and if we like them, we hope they succeed. The drama in the film is the result of us rooting for them against opposition. Eventually, our [protoganist] will find themselves in their lowest point when it seems like all is lost. But eventually they pull through and conquer whatever force opposes them. It's satisfying when our hero gets ahead from where they started off at. They make like a change. This is called an "arc".

When he asked who the protagonist of The Phantom Menace was, I actually had an answer:

Doesn't really help the movie's case though.

 

[Soliloquy]

You know, given his description of a common protagonist:

Usually the protagonist is somebody that's down on their luck, in a bad place in their lives, or someone where everything just doesn't go perfectly for them. Eventually they'll be confronted with some kind of obstacle or strugle that they gotta deal with, and if we like them, we hope they succeed. The drama in the film is the result of us rooting for them against opposition. Eventually, our [protoganist] will find themselves in their lowest point when it seems like all is lost. But eventually they pull through and conquer whatever force opposes them. It's satisfying when our hero gets ahead from where they started off at. They make like a change. This is called an "arc".

When he asked who the protagonist of The Phantom Menace was, I actually had an answer:

Doesn't really help the movie's case though.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, it actually makes for a stronger argument against it, doesn't it?

 

[@Li3n]

I hated the kid more then Jar Jar myself. At least he was just comedy relief.

 

[Kitty Sinatra]

I hated them both. And that silver ship.

 

[Rob King]

Every time he dissed Qui-Gon a piece of me died. Qui-Gon has always been the greatest part of the prequel trilogy for me.

That said, I don't think I can really argue with any of the points he raised.

 

[Hailey Knight]

His voice annoyed the shit outta me in the first 10 seconds, and then I skipped ahead if he was gonna quit it. He didn't so I didn't watch any more than that. Why the fuck put on such a fake ass voice?

This.

I watched the entire first clip, and it had some funny moments but that voice was annoying, and the running gag of not being able to pronounce protagonist got old..fast.[/QUOTE]


This is why you guys don't have any friends.[/QUOTE]

The roots of the internet run deep in this.

 

[KCWM]

Not funny for me either. I quit during the whole Qui-Gon thing. This guy getting stuck in the ass with a hot poker would be funnier.