Baww thread: should I cut off contact?

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David

David

So I'm wondering if I should remove my ex girlfriend from social sites and messengers.

We agreed we'd stay friends after she broke up with me, but that's proving difficult emotionally. She never says a word to me anymore unless I start the conversation. She never tells me more about whats going on in her life than what I very specifically ask, and never asks in return. Once or twice when I asked about something I got what amounted to a "none of your business." Basically, every time I talk to her I get the feeling she would rather be doing anything else than talk to me. It does nothing but make me remember how much happier I felt when I saw her log on this time last year and makes me feel depressed now.

I'm considering putting her "out of sight and out of mind" by removing her from all of my contact lists, never having to see when she logs on, never having to look at her profiles. Would that be petty of me? I'm not trying to send her a "I'm never talking to you again!" message in any way or doing this out of any kind of anger, I just wonder if there's anything to gain by bothering to keep trying and if I'd be happier if I didn't. Thoughts?
 
HowDroll

HowDroll

I absolutely agree with CDS. I think you'd probably be happier without having to deal with constant reminders of her, and if she ever wants to contact you, she knows how to reach you.
 
Seraphyn

Seraphyn

I agree with all the above. It seems she doesn't want the contact anyway and it's probably better for you without being reminded of how you two used to be every time she logs in.
 
D

Dusty668

If she gave anything to you out of the conversations that would appear to be a good or positive thing, then I might say all but one. In this case, cut the ropes, she wants you, she can find you.

Also you live in frakking hawaii, I mean c'mon. A lil sun, some surf, a few touristas, a cookie, you'll be right as rain sunshine.
 
David

David

Dusty668 said:
Also you live in frakking hawaii, I mean c'mon. A lil sun, some surf, a few touristas, a cookie, you'll be right as rain sunshine.
Click to expand...
I live in California... in the desert... where tourists drive through to get to Vegas without stopping... and it's currently cloudy...

Cookie though... I just might go buy a cookie :D
 
D

Dusty668

Ah, oops. Misread/misremembered the previous article then. Hmm, make that a bag of cookies, the losing her part still goes.

---------- Post added at 02:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:45 PM ----------

Coulda sworn Hawaii was involved somewhere...
 
@Li3n

@Li3n

If she won't talk to you don't talk to her...

Removing her from all your contacts lists sounds excessive to me, but if that's what you feel you have to do so you won't start up a conversation with her that's your business.
 
W

Wasabi Poptart

I agree with Charlie. If it's causing you more harm than good, then you need to cut ties with her.
 
KCWM

KCWM

+1 to the cut ties camp

Being friends with exes can be really difficult. If she wants the friendship, let her pursue it. If she doesn't, you're be better off without her.
 
Shegokigo

Shegokigo

I've said this before, but in case you missed it.

I treat all my exs like plague carriers, I tend to move out of the city/area they live in, I delete anything and everything that would even bring the slightest reminder of them, and I trash any belongings we may have shared/bought.

If there really was a "Sunshine on a Spotless Mind" kind of thing, I'd do that. There isn't so I do the closest possible thing.
 
R

Rubicon

Post pictures of her naked on 4chan with her email/screen name/etc

Sit back and watch the fireworks


Or, cut off all contact with her.

Whichever sounds like the more responsible thing to do.
 
Cajungal

Cajungal

Staff member
Because many people have similar relationship experiences when it comes to a breakup. And while the threads are common, it is not mandatory to read them.
 
strawman

strawman

David said:
We agreed we'd stay friends after she broke up with me, but that's proving difficult emotionally. She never says a word to me anymore unless I start the conversation.
Click to expand...
I'm sorry that she lied to you, but the reality is that she does not want to be friends, she wants to be 'friends.'

The difference is that when people ask about you, she will say that you are a friend. But her interaction with you will be strictly limited to that of an acquaintance, or worse.

She doesn't want to be friends with you.

I suspect at this stage you might as well completely disconnect - it certainly sounds like those connections are an irritation due to the way she's treating you, so it might be best to cool it for awhile.

Honestly, I don't see a downside to removing her, and an upside for you if you do.
 
Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

I know how you feel, man. I had the exact same thing happen, a girl I was good friends with before dating, dated, ended up ending very badly, big breakup, and then the promise to be friends afterwards.

But all attempts to be friends were just too damn hard.

Sever those ties. Trying to force the friendship isn't going to make either of you feel any better. It's going to be nothing but awkwardness at best, and pain and depression at worse.

We did eventually become friends again, but it took a few years of no contact for that to be possible. I wouldn't count on that happening, but if it makes you feel any better, the possibility is there.
 
Timmus

Timmus

Yes you should. For all the reasons everyone else said.

I too have managed to be friends with an ex but it took a few years of limited contact and having sex with different people to get some perspective.
 
Null

Null

If she wanted anything to do with you, she'd have let you know. Right now, you're heading towards being the clingy, creepy, semi-stalker ex. "Oh my god, the moment I logged on he was like, 'Hey, what's up?' and then he's like, 'So, what's new with you?' God, doesn't he know when it's over?"

Remove her from your IM contact list, then reformat your computer, as a reminder not to hold on to something that's over.
 
S

SeraRelm

Mail her body parts.



Specifically, those not previously part of you.








Just to clarify.
 
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