I just had sex thread

I would like to see a thread full of sexual techniques/secrets, personally but I have a feeling NO one would post in that.

And Dave would get mad.
 
I have burning questions, though!

Like, "how CAN you tie someone up when you have no bed frame?" Or "Is it weird when the cat watches?" Or "5 minutes or less: can it be done to boths satisfaction?"

See?!
 
M

makare

I would like to see a thread full of sexual techniques/secrets, personally but I have a feeling NO one would post in that.

And Dave would get mad.
I was going to make a porn gif thread in the nsfw forum but decided not to because they were so much more... um let's say porny than the stuff people usually post. Usually that just being topless chicks. I am not sure what the standard for nsfw is around here. Is it porn or is it only the stuff you'd see in a mechanics shop?
 
M

makare

The gifs were mostly just amusing not necessarily titillating lol.
 
I propose a NSFW "Late Nights at Halforums" Forum. ;)

And most porn is about as useless as it comes... Jenna Jameson changed it all after she got popular moaning like a fake cow "OH YEAAAAH AAAAAH AAAAHH WAAAAAAAH".
 
M

makare

yeah i find most porn is boring. Sure sex is fun to do but watching people just have sex is well boring to me.
 
M

makare

hehe well i like to watch just not.. just that. lol Gotta be something worth watching
 
You have any idea how hard it is to find good porn of a guy going down on a girl?
The reason for that is the same reason most people in porn always screw in sometimes very awkward positions. They have to leave area open for the camera to see the action and if a guy goes down well on you, likely his face will be spending to much time covering the money area, so instead they just kind of use the tip of the tongue at a side angle. In truth most "porn sex" is not very pleasurable for the people involved because it's about the "performance" and the longevity rather then the pleasure.

As for weird porn, I was desensitized a long time ago by Japan, and am only more desensitized by what you can find in the darkest areas of the Internet.
 
M

makare

The reason for that is the same reason most people in porn always screw in sometimes very awkward positions. They have to leave area open for the camera to see the action and if a guy goes down well on you, likely his face will be spending to much time covering the money area, so instead they just kind of use the tip of the tongue at a side angle. In truth most "porn sex" is not very pleasurable for the people involved because it's about the "performance" and the longevity rather then the pleasure.

As for weird porn, I was desensitized a long time ago by Japan, and am only more desensitized by what you can find in the darkest areas of the Internet.

ScytheRexx has seen the internet's taint....
 
The reason for that is the same reason most people in porn always screw in sometimes very awkward positions. They have to leave area open for the camera to see the action and if a guy goes down well on you, likely his face will be spending to much time covering the money area, so instead they just kind of use the tip of the tongue at a side angle. In truth most "porn sex" is not very pleasurable for the people involved because it's about the "performance" and the longevity rather then the pleasure.
Agreed.

And why you'll rarely see in big productions where they would go from one position to the next. They usually take a break, wipe the sweat off themselves, use fluffers like ThatNickGuy to keep the engine running, before cutting to the next awkward position for the sake of the show. The whole fakeness of it turns me off.

I grew to enjoy the more European porn, especially the French/Italian kind because it feels more genuine. The North American porn feel like the McDonalds of porn. And I guess I'll never be ready for the Japanese porn... when grown women sound like anime and every flabby Asian guy looks like pedobear, it's hard to keep your stiff going.

Nothing beats pure amateur porn, sure they tend to film it with Potato Cam 1700 and will rarely have great HD feeds but at least no one is moaning OH YEAH every godamned thrust with the most terrible and repeated voice acting, playing cock golf while removing their dick from the woman's vag.... proceed to move as far back as possible.... then go for the hole in one.... repeatedly.... and most importantly.... I don't have to see 60 year old Randy what's his face in yet another terrible american porn flic.
 
Sorry I'm not a regular in this thread like I was on the previous incarnation of it (which I think even I created?) but sex seems to be less braggy when it's with someone you're actually in love with. But since it's still a long distance relationship and right now I'm seeing the girl every other weekend, just assume I post like 8-9 times every other weekend u_u
 
Sorry I'm not a regular in this thread like I was on the previous incarnation of it (which I think even I created?) but sex seems to be less braggy when it's with someone you're actually in love with. But since it's still a long distance relationship and right now I'm seeing the girl every other weekend, just assume I post like 8-9 times every other weekend u_u
So, is this less braggy or more lovey? Colour Adam confused.
 
Sorry I'm not a regular in this thread like I was on the previous incarnation of it (which I think even I created?) but sex seems to be less braggy when it's with someone you're actually in love with. But since it's still a long distance relationship and right now I'm seeing the girl every other weekend, just assume I post like 8-9 times every other weekend u_u
 
I think this thread will slowly devolve into "I've seen some shit" horror stories of the internet.

Or at least that's my hope. But the stuff I could post might be against board rules. Let's just say, if you make an artificial orifice in the body, regardless if medical reason, someone will put a penis in it.

Sweet dreams.
 
S

SeraRelm

I'd be glad to share some bondage secrets, but my hands are tied.
 
I'm hearing a lot of "I'm into some weird porn" talk with a lack of bite to back up the bark.

You know what this means, right?

A porn off.

 
I'm not into weird porn. I'm just into incredibly specialized, uncommon porn.
If my porn were an OS, it'd be BeOS.
If it were a mushroom, it would be a Black Morel.
If it were a kid's show, it would be hosted by Weird Al.
If it were a beer, it would be a regional microbrew.
If it were a disease, it would be argyria.

And no, this doesn't mean I long to see the Blue Man Group smash some PowerPCs during a Weird Al show while I dine on beer&mushroom bread. Though that would certainly be entertaining.

--Patrick
 
Sorry, Phil. Porn is for before* sex, and this is the thread for after sex.
You want a different thread.

--Patrick
*or instead of
 
Top