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Actually that sounds perfect. Granted but after awhile helping people complete their partial decks of cards loses its appeal. I wish I had a commercial aquarium sized fish tank full of non lethal and beautifully coloured tropical fish.

Granted but it's a 20th generation bootleg and it's illegible. I wish I didn't need to have a job.

It does but your paper is an unabashed racist and it makes your professor think you're a terrible person. I wish the NHL lockout would end.

Granted but since you don't know how to use it you end up cutting off all your limbs. I wish I could read faster.

Granted but you have an inverse proportional amount of gravy. I wish I could astrally project.

I thought it was because PBR's easy on the wallet and "ironic" to drink.

I'm pretty sure you're doing it wrong. The way I understand it works is that you should both be convinced that the other one is subhuman filth and also that the one who shouts loudest is right.

Granted. You punch his face but your arm gets embedded in his blubbery jowls up to your elbow and he collapses. You are unable to free yourself and slowly starve to death. I wish I could visit another planet.

Book of revelations ...and lo the heathen vaginas will rise up and vote of their own accord...

Granted, however your insides are frozen. I wish I could visit alternate realities.

Granted but only because you find yourself in a dystopia where government that insists you believe this or they murder you in the night. I wish they made scratch and sniff books for adults

Granted but the animals don't want to talk to you. I wish I had a time machine.

You can but only bits from season 15 onwards and your friends all find it alienating. I wish I was filthy rich.

Granted you are magically transported inside your own chest. I wish I had a jetpack.

Granted but you later learn its made of your parents,cute puppies and pubes. I wish I was a professional athlete.

Well done America.

A Also beer that you can drink in public and buy from a vending machine.

All hail the Boognish!

T That's a first world problem if I ever heard one. :P