Search results

I didn't think he would be waiting long.

I need to put a breathalyzer on my Amazon account. Who the hell ordered the 30 ounces of Jerky?

I ordered a TV to use as a monitor on Prime Day. Fucking FedEx delivered the TV to the wrong fucking house. Luckily my neighbor is really honest and knocked on my door to let me know it was at his house.

A duck for a fuck, a fuck for a duck, and 25 bucks for a fucked up duck.

I voted in person. It only took 10ish minutes from in the door to out the door. No waiting.

I'm pretty much in the same shoes brother.

Is it just the continuation of summertime COVID blues? I know I hate when it is not sunny at 6am.

I am thinking of getting Disney+, is Hulu and ESPN worth getting for the extra $6?

The penguin said, "It is just a little ice cream."

There was a restaurant in town named for the protagonist of the joke. Just by the entrance there was a goat parking space.

Those 175 votes only cost $500,000.

Uh, we had a massive mainframe outage at work this week. I was calling users and fixing their printer set ups (not my job.) I call a user and while I was speaking with her another Tech called her. I asked her if she called in more than one ticket on this issue. She did, she called in 4 damn...

"No. You just fuck one goat."

My work did that to our Help Desk and Desktop Support people. So they marked every poo and smoke break on their time sheets. That finally got them to give up on the full 8 hours accounted. I would put in admin time to fill out the damned time sheets.

I always felt the song, "You're the Reason God Made Oklahoma," was an insult track.

Needs an Axe.

Let's give Biden the whole hour.

My first semester of college I lived in the dorm and was on a meal plan. My parents came to visit. And the first words out of his mouth, "Let's go eat at Luby's." Uh, Dad, I eat cafeteria food every day. I hope he was just joking.

I have become a big fan of reaction videos. But one thing I can't stand is watching someone listening to music with headphones over a hoodie.

If Trump dies before the election and wins on the sympathy vote, Pence wins. He was nominated for VP, which means he gets all votes for Trump.