Baby Question

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Dear Dave,

My two months old daughter won't sleep unless someone is holding her. Should I give a pacifier to my daughter? Any other advice?

Thanks.
 
W

Wasabi Poptart

First and foremost, make sure you are starting a regular bedtime routine. Every night, do the same thing at the same time. A bath can be relaxing and help signal to baby that it is time to get ready for sleep. Read a book, let the baby nurse or have a bottle, then it is time to go into the crib. With both of my kids we used a transitional object - a stuffed animal that went in the crib with them. If she is breastfeeding, your wife may want to sleep with the object for a few nights so it picks up her scent. Also, make sure the baby is getting enough to eat before bedtime whether she is getting formula or being breastfed. What I did when I was nursing my daughter was to feed her about an hour and a half before bedtime, give her a bath, read a book or two, then let her nurse again right before putting her in the crib. Usually she fell asleep at the breast which was fine by me. We also used a noise machine or fan in their rooms. My son, who is 5, still likes to fall asleep listening to the sound of the ocean.
We didn't use a pacifier with either child. My son would spit them across the room. My daughter would sometimes fall asleep with it in her mouth, but most of the time she played with it. There are studies that say a pacifier can cut the risk of SIDS, too. Really, I think it comes down to a personal decision for the parents. If you are both so inclined, try it out. If the baby takes to it, great! If not, well, you're only out a couple of bucks.
In my experience, this is usually just a phase. Especially if she is going through a growth spurt or about to hit a developmental milestone. Some people would say enjoy this while it lasts because soon she'll be pushing you away when you go to hug her. Other people would tell you to be firm and not give in to the baby "manipulating" you into getting what she wants. If she was a little older, I'd be more inclined to say let her cry for a while. I think at 2 months old, she's still a little young for that. Make sure she's not too warm or too chilly. Try swaddling her. Maybe try letting her sleep in a swing (some babies really like it, though mine both hated the swing with a passion). Don't do anything too stimulating right before bedtime.

I can't think of much more. I hope I gave you some useful ideas.
 
My son took to pacifiers, my daughter never did, she hated them. So you can try to introduce a pacifier, but it really won't help the sleeping thing. Wasabi had the right idea. If the issue is that the baby wakes up as soon as you try to put her down, then yes, you need to try to establish the idea that the crib is for sleeping by setting her in the crib when she starts to get sleepy.

* If it doesn't bother you to hold the baby while she sleeps, I wouldn't even worry about it yet. She's not going to be only sleeping in your arms for the rest of your life.
 

Dave

Staff member
Yup. Babies like to be held and she's training YOU to hold her so she can sleep. You need to train HER where sleeping is to be done. And has it been 2 months already? Holy crap. Where does the time go?
 
Thanks for the advice.

So, no one is terribly against the use of pacifiers? My baby don't cry when she is in her crib, she just don't sleep until she gets bored. I though a pacifier could help her to sleep.
 

Dave

Staff member
Pacifiers are great for kids who like them. But just know when to take it away...
 
W

Wasabi Poptart

Actually the fact that she isn't crying and falls asleep once she's "bored" is a good thing! It sounds like she's learning to put herself to sleep. That is a blessing. My daughter didn't do that until she was about 6 or 7 months old.
 
She cryes when she is bored. Last night she was in her crib for almost 1 hour before started to cry.
 
If she sits in the crib wide awake for an hour, then it's too early to put her in the crib, because she isn't sleepy. Babies aren't going to fall asleep just because you want them to. If you want to try to set up a bedtime, you need to do it with a routine, but you should probably start doing it at times you notice that she's actually tired at first, then gradually working towards a time that you'd prefer.
 
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