Help Me Understand a Man

Ohhh! That makes more sense. You’re definitely right. I think he’s barely realizing how much his ex has been abusive. With certain behaviors of his I would look at them and ask if she had done something to make him feel he had to do that. And if he said yes, I’d then point out that she was in the wrong for it and how he doesn’t deserve the treatment he got. So it’s been wild to see all of the damage from her. I’m sure he wants to unlearn some of those behaviors and work on that too while we’re apart.
From my perspective, someone outside of the situation can tell the person who was in the situation about it being that until they are out of breath, but until the person that was in the situation starts to understand it themselves, it's hard to unlearn.

This might have been said and/or the person may have resistance to it (depending on their feelings toward the subject), but since mental health is a very important part of people these days, did you happen to suggest that he go to a therapist/support group/etc. to be able to talk through things? That may be a way to get through some of those things - esp. a support group (ex: my sister-in-law is working on a divorce after being separated for a while (as soon as she can afford it), so my wife and I have suggested she go to a divorce support group that a local church puts on).
 
From my perspective, someone outside of the situation can tell the person who was in the situation about it being that until they are out of breath, but until the person that was in the situation starts to understand it themselves, it's hard to unlearn.

This might have been said and/or the person may have resistance to it (depending on their feelings toward the subject), but since mental health is a very important part of people these days, did you happen to suggest that he go to a therapist/support group/etc. to be able to talk through things? That may be a way to get through some of those things - esp. a support group (ex: my sister-in-law is working on a divorce after being separated for a while (as soon as she can afford it), so my wife and I have suggested she go to a divorce support group that a local church puts on).
Oh, yes! We’ve talked about him going to therapy before - and I know he looked up ones in his area, but I think he’s incredibly worried about the cost. His job doesn’t give him any benefits so it would all be out of pocket. I think, if his plan is still the same as it was, he’s leaving his job at the end of June. And hopefully once he’s working somewhere else he can get benefits and go to therapy. I’m not sure how he’d feel about support groups, but since we’re not talking I can’t suggest that right now. I think he’d enjoy more traditional talk therapy one on one, but we’ll see what he ends up doing. :))
 
Oh, yes! We’ve talked about him going to therapy before - and I know he looked up ones in his area, but I think he’s incredibly worried about the cost. His job doesn’t give him any benefits so it would all be out of pocket. I think, if his plan is still the same as it was, he’s leaving his job at the end of June. And hopefully once he’s working somewhere else he can get benefits and go to therapy. I’m not sure how he’d feel about support groups, but since we’re not talking I can’t suggest that right now. I think he’d enjoy more traditional talk therapy one on one, but we’ll see what he ends up doing. :))
That is good to hear - I had only suggested a support group as I would think being able to hear about and be near others who had been through similar things would be helpful to some people. It may not always work for everyone.
 
Oh, yes! We’ve talked about him going to therapy before - and I know he looked up ones in his area, but I think he’s incredibly worried about the cost. His job doesn’t give him any benefits so it would all be out of pocket. I think, if his plan is still the same as it was, he’s leaving his job at the end of June. And hopefully once he’s working somewhere else he can get benefits and go to therapy. I’m not sure how he’d feel about support groups, but since we’re not talking I can’t suggest that right now. I think he’d enjoy more traditional talk therapy one on one, but we’ll see what he ends up doing. :))
Have him look into county services. There are several non-profits and government sponsored agencies where he can at least get a start. If he felt abused by the previous relationship just getting some emotions out to a 3rd party can help.
 
Have him look into county services. There are several non-profits and government sponsored agencies where he can at least get a start. If he felt abused by the previous relationship just getting some emotions out to a 3rd party can help.
Since we’re on radio silence I can’t do that yet, but if he hasn’t found a place by the time we start talking again, I’ll be sure to suggest it, thank you!
 
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