I am someone who enjoys jumping on bandwagons long after they're gone. AMA!

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My name is Bhamv, I am Taiwanese, I live in Taipei, I work as an editor at a translation house (I have training in translation and interpretation) and I'm getting married in less than a month. Ask me stuff. :)
 
Favorite holiday?
April Fools Day, because I'm a compulsive liar and prankster. And since everyone around me knows it, for April Fools Day this year I went around telling people things that sounded like lies, but were actually true. "Hey, it's raining really hard, remember to bring your umbrella when you go out for lunch." "Yeah right!" *cue victim getting wet*

It was awesome. :D

Most annoying character to write?
龟 in simplified Chinese, or it's traditional version 龜. Fortunately I don't need to write "turtle" very often.

Or did you mean a fictional character? In that case, it's really hard to write fanfic for Jed Bartlet, because he's so perfect and intelligent.
 
I count 18.

Favorite street food?

Seoul, Tokyo or Singapore?

Do you do karaoke? Are you awesome? (Surely, you must awesome)

Who do you feel has Taiwan's best interests in mind: KMT, DDP, or NP?

Ever consider custom-made goggles for every day use?



DO YOU EVEN LIFT?
 
What should I bring to your wedding?

Who should I not hit on at your wedding?

Will you wing man for me at your wedding?
 
Favorite street food?

Seoul, Tokyo or Singapore?

Do you do karaoke? Are you awesome? (Surely, you must awesome)

Who do you feel has Taiwan's best interests in mind: KMT, DDP, or NP?

Ever consider custom-made goggles for every day use?



DO YOU EVEN LIFT?
Favorite street food would probably be "egg cakes" 雞蛋糕. They're these plain little cakes that usually come in small ovals, or in animal shapes. Incredibly plain, nothing on them, and they taste amazing. I first tried them when I was in elementary school or so, and I was amazed at how delicious a plain cake like that could be.

I've never been to Seoul, and I've only had a transfer in Tokyo, during which I never even left the airport waiting room. So Singapore. My aunt lives in Singapore, along with two cousins and one cousin-in-law, who is hot.

Man, I haven't been karaoking in ages. I'm not great, but I can hold my own. I usually sing English songs though, and the selection at the big KTVs usually isn't great. Though I hear a friend of mine has uncovered a karaoke place that has Broadway show tunes. I'll need to check it out sometime.

I think all three of the parties have Taiwan's best interests in mind, it's just that they disagree on what "best interests" is. Some say we should piggyback onto China's booming economy and ease cross-strait tensions. Others say it's more important to ensure freedom and sovereignty. Me, I want a return to the "retake the mainland" policy we had fifty years ago.

My goggles are already custom-made, of a sort. My eyesight is so bad they have to make special goggle lenses and fit them into the goggles. I don't wear them outside of pools though. I should start.

I have not lifted in over ten years. So the answer to this question depends on whether you consider a decade ago to still be covered by the present tense.[DOUBLEPOST=1365667373][/DOUBLEPOST]
What should I bring to your wedding?

Who should I not hit on at your wedding?

Will you wing man for me at your wedding?
Traditional Chinese weddings usually involve a "red envelope" of cash from the guests. It's not a requirement, but it's a very strong custom. Weddings are very expensive affairs, but with the red envelopes, it's not uncommon for people to break even or even make a small profit. Of course, this means that when you attend someone else's wedding in turn, you're expected to at least match the amount they gave in their red envelope, or exceed it. This can get expensive, as one red envelope can be as much as one-tenth a person's monthly salary around here. In other words, if you have lots of friends getting married in a short period of time, get ready to take a hit to the wallet. So, to answer your question, please bring an envelope full of cash.

With the possible exception of the priest, please feel free to hit on anyone at the wedding. This includes the bride and the groom. In fact, I strongly encourage you to hit on the groom, if only to see what the priest would say.

I will be happy to wing man for you at your wedding, but please note that I only acknowledge the literal military definition of wing man. Will you be providing both fighter jets?
 
I think all three of the parties have Taiwan's best interests in mind, it's just that they disagree on what "best interests" is. Some say we should piggyback onto China's booming economy and ease cross-strait tensions. Others say it's more important to ensure freedom and sovereignty. Me, I want a return to the "retake the mainland" policy we had fifty years ago.

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Heh, I once asked my girlfriend if instead of Taiwan returning to China, if China should return to Taiwan and she said, "Well, that's certainly an option". She's not a CCP fan.

How do Taiwanese (or you, personally) view Japan's aggression in WWII. Is Japan generally looked upon favorably in Taiwan (aside from territorial disputes)? What about Japan's colonization of Taiwan?

If someone were to visit Taiwan (or Taipei), give a couple things that one *must* see/do.
 
Sheesh, what's with the seriousness, Chinaman? Are you using F to spy on your neighbours? Is HF a front for you to get access to sensitive Taiwanese information? (I'm kidding and interested, mind).

So, are you a "pervert in real life as well, or is that mostly on line persona? have you become less pervie since meeting your soon-to-be victim wife? Is she just as much of a pervert as you?

I know you make jokes abnout being a little chubby Chinese guy, and I've seen your photos, but how tall are you, really? (also, not chubby :p)

If you had to move to any other country in the world, which one and why? And why not Belgium :p?

We all know those "tongue-tied" phrases in English; which would you consider the worst of that kind of thing in Chinese? Please put something resembling phonetic in there as well because I can't read either simplified or normal Mandarin :(

Women in bathing suits vs women in lingerie: which do you prefer?
 
Sheesh, what's with the seriousness, Chinaman? Are you using F to spy on your neighbours? Is HF a front for you to get access to sensitive Taiwanese information? (I'm kidding and interested, mind).
Why, are you hiding something?

What are your secrets, Belgium?



As if i didn't already know.
 
Do you have any hobbies?

What is the biggest misconception about Taiwanese people?

What other profession would you like to attempt?

What is you curse-word of choice? English and Mandarin, please.
 
Heh, I once asked my girlfriend if instead of Taiwan returning to China, if China should return to Taiwan and she said, "Well, that's certainly an option". She's not a CCP fan.

How do Taiwanese (or you, personally) view Japan's aggression in WWII. Is Japan generally looked upon favorably in Taiwan (aside from territorial disputes)? What about Japan's colonization of Taiwan?

If someone were to visit Taiwan (or Taipei), give a couple things that one *must* see/do.
Japan is interesting. While Japan did, strictly speaking, colonize Taiwan at the time, the PC term these days is to say "the period of Japanese rule." Lots of the older generation (my grandparents, for example) still have memories of when Japan ruled Taiwan. The attitude towards Japan back then is surprisingly positive. Yes, Japan were harsh rulers, and yes lots of atrocities were committed. But at the same time, the Japanese did a lot to build up Taiwan. The perception is that their mentality was to stay in Taiwan for the long haul. So they built schools, factories, basic infrastructure such as railways, etc. They established systems that still exist today, for example they brought western-style banking to Taiwan. They also made education compulsory for the young.

This means that, for the Taiwanese population, Japanese atrocities are generally seen in an academic, detached, and objective light. On the other hand, Japanese culture and influence is happily embraced. Japanese music and films have strong fanbases. Baseball is seen as Taiwan's national sport, thanks to Japan's influence. Japanese terms and language quirks have also found its way into Taiwan's lexicon, which I've heard can baffle Mainland visitors sometimes. And Japanese porn dominates that porn market in Taiwan, far exceeding any western porn, and utterly crushing Taiwan's fledgling porn industry.

This surprisingly positive attitude means that the people of Taiwan are more willing to be accommodating when it comes to disputes with Japan. You would never see violent anti-Japan protests in Taiwan over the Diaoyutai Islands. There might be a demonstration or two, small in scale, but on the whole we're happy to have our representatives sit down with Japan and talk things out.

As for visiting Taiwan, I'm actually quite the otaku. I don't know many places to go. But one area that sticks out in my mind is the Hualien region in the east. It's a narrow strip of land between mountains and sea, and it's unspeakably beautiful.
 
Sheesh, what's with the seriousness, Chinaman? Are you using F to spy on your neighbours? Is HF a front for you to get access to sensitive Taiwanese information? (I'm kidding and interested, mind).

So, are you a "pervert in real life as well, or is that mostly on line persona? have you become less pervie since meeting your soon-to-be victim wife? Is she just as much of a pervert as you?

I know you make jokes abnout being a little chubby Chinese guy, and I've seen your photos, but how tall are you, really? (also, not chubby :p)

If you had to move to any other country in the world, which one and why? And why not Belgium :p?

We all know those "tongue-tied" phrases in English; which would you consider the worst of that kind of thing in Chinese? Please put something resembling phonetic in there as well because I can't read either simplified or normal Mandarin :(

Women in bathing suits vs women in lingerie: which do you prefer?
I'm pervy in real life, though also in a respectful way.

I used to be painfully shy when I was a teenager. My first girlfriend was when I was 17, and it only lasted about six months, and the furthest we got was kissing. She broke up with me because I was, basically, boring. (And she did have a point) Later, I went to university, and before I flunked out I spent a lot of time online, playing a MUD, which is basically a text-based MMORPG for anyone who doesn't know. There I met a woman from Wisconsin, and we struck up an online relationship. On the MUD, there was no trace of my awkward real-life self. I was confident, I was friendly, I was funny, I was studly, I was happy. However, I also told her how I had trouble socially in real life. My online name was Sheltem, named after the main antagonist from the Might and Magic game series. And one day, she said to me, "You know, if you let Sheltem out in real life every now and then, I'll bet things will look up for you."

So I started doing that. But the caveat was that I had to stop caring what other people think about me, to utterly let go of self-consciousness and simply be myself. And I think I've taken it too far in the other direction now. Nowadays I don't care if people think I'm a pervert. To me, I'm simply being honest about the desires and thoughts that go through my mind, the ones society has deemed unacceptable to express. Why should I not be allowed to tell someone I've recently filled up another 1TB external hard drive with porn? Why should I not be allowed to giggle when someone says they have trouble masticating after their dentist appointment?

Having said that though, I realize that I am in the minority. So, in the interests of not making people uncomfortable, I only let my perviness out after I've reached a level of familiarity with someone. I wouldn't go into a job interview and compliment the interviewer's butt, but I have female friends who are happy for me to compliment their butts, because they know I'm being honest.

My fiancee is also interesting. She's a born again Christian, which means she's adamant that we shall have no sex before marriage. And I've respected that boundary, and never pushed her to break it. She grew up in a very conservative and strict family, so when she went to university (where we met), she also had no idea how to interact with the opposite sex. Then I came along, in my pervy and respectful way, and swept her off her feet. That was nine years ago. We've become something of a balancing force for each other. I help her open up to stuff relating to sex, and show her that sex is not something shameful or dirty. She helps me realize that, despite what it may seem like sometimes, sex is not the be-all and end-all of life, the universe, and everything.

Of course, this does mean that after we get married in less than a month, I'll probably have to teach her the birds and the bees. Hope I can remember how everything works.

I'm 163cm tall, around 5-foot-2 or 3. And I have a BMI of around 34, which isn't healthy by any scale. I used to be a nice and fit back when I was a teenager, but as I grew older I kept putting on the pounds. I lack the willpower to either change my diet or get off my ass. Food is simply too yummy, and if I had to choose between computer gaming and going jogging, well, it's really no contest to me. Still, though, it would be nice to get healthier, since I'm getting married soon and I'll have a responsibility to be alive and healthy for my wife. Wouldn't do to have a heart attack at age 35.

I've lived in the US and the UK before, and if I had to choose I'd probably pick one of those two. I can't really decide which one though. Maybe the US, since it has a larger Chinese population, so my skills as a translator and interpreter might be more in demand.

Chinese has its own tongue twisters, some of them diabolically hard. My favorite one is this one:
石室詩士施氏,嗜獅,誓食十獅。施氏時時適市視獅。十時,適十獅適市。是時,適施氏適市。施氏視十獅,恃矢勢,使是十獅逝世。氏拾是十獅尸,適石室。石室濕,氏使侍拭石室。石室拭,氏始試食是十獅。食時,始識是十獅,實十石獅尸。試釋是事。
As you may know, Chinese is a tonal language. This means that the same phonetic sound can mean different things depending on the tone, whether it's rising, falling, etc. This passage consists of the same phonetic sound "shi" throughout, and each character only differs in its tonal properties. So, when you hear it, it basically sounds like "Shi shi shi shi shi, shi shi, shi shi shi shi..." It's about a guy who wants to eat stone lions.

I'd say I prefer women in lingerie, because of the implications of sexytime. :D[DOUBLEPOST=1365730707][/DOUBLEPOST]
Can you make it to the 29th stroke?
Masturbation for me rarely lasts less than five minutes, so yes. Yes I can.

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Do you have any hobbies?

What is the biggest misconception about Taiwanese people?

What other profession would you like to attempt?

What is you curse-word of choice? English and Mandarin, please.
My hobbies consist of porn and games. And maybe porn games. I'm a big consumer of porn, though I've never paid for it, so the porn industry probably hates people like me. And I'm a pretty avid PC gamer, though my rig's not the best these days so I can't play the newest releases like Bioshock Infinite. My favorite game is probably Dwarf Fortress, I can pick that game up and play it any time.

When I was abroad, the two most common things that would happen when I said I'm from Taiwan would be "Oh you're from Thailand?" and "Oh you're from China?" For the first one, seriously, did I stutter or something? Taiwan and Thailand are very different places. For the second one, people in Taiwan are generally (and increasingly) against the idea of being called Chinese. We really don't like it when people say we're from China.

If I had the chance, I'd like to become a professional gamer. International assassin is also an acceptable, though far less likely, option. If Taiwan had a bigger voice acting industry, I'd also love to give it a shot, since lots of people have said I have a nice voice. Which comes in handy when I work as an interpreter.

My preferred swear in Chinese and English are the same, "fuck" and its Chinese equivalent "gan" 幹. The Chinese one is just as versatile as its English counterpart.
 
What is a wedding like in Taiwan?
Weddings in Taiwan can vary widely, due to the combined influence of traditional Chinese culture, native Taiwanese culture, Japanese culture, and western culture. This means that any given wedding can have any or all of the elements from these diverse cultures. Of course, people are also free to invent their own unique wedding day, if they want.

Generally speaking, a fortune teller will be consulted first to find a good day for marriage. Usually wedding days start out with a delegation from the groom's family driving to the bride's home. If the bride usually lives far away, a relative's home or a hotel can serve as a substitute. There, the bride and groom bid farewell to the bride's parents, sometimes kneeling before them and thanking them for their hard work in raising the bride. Then, they drive to the groom's home, or whichever home they'll be living in after marriage. They enter, sit down, and drink some sweet tea. That's basically the wedding ceremony. Then, afterwards, usually on the same day but sometimes not, there's a big wedding banquet. This is different from your average western wedding reception, in that the banquet is often the actual focus of the wedding day itself. You have these large round tables, seating ten each, and guests eat and drink and be merry. There may be a brief ceremony during the banquet itself, where the bride's father symbolically hands over the bride's hand to the groom, though as far as I'm aware this is a recent innovation and not a traditionally done thing.

For many people, the number of tables you have at your banquet is something of a status symbol. Having lots of tables means you have lots of friends, or at least lots of people who think you're important enough to come attend your banquet. It also shows off how rich you are, though as I mentioned earlier, due to the tradition of "red envelopes" people often break even or even make a small profit on their weddings. The largest wedding banquet I ever attended had over 70 tables, which means over 700 guests. My wedding banquet will probably have around 20. For reference, this is the venue my wedding banquet will be at:

banquet.JPG


Sometimes, due to western influences, people will also have western-style wedding ceremonies, either in a church, or a secular ceremony where they exchange vows but there's no religious influence. I once attended a wedding where the bride and groom were married by the groom's boss, a government official. Also, about twenty or thirty years ago, it wasn't uncommon for the wedding banquet to include female strippers. This custom has largely died out these days, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. :p

Also of note is that oftentimes there will be a second banquet. When there are two, the first banquet usually focuses on the groom's side, and is attended mainly by the groom's family and friends. The second banquet, called 歸寧 "guei ning", basically means the bride returns to her home and treats her friends and family to a banquet, and show that she is happy with her new husband.

This is just the basic outline. There are lots of little traditions and details I've left out, such as the proper way to propose, when it's appropriate to leave the table at the banquet, etc.
 
Is the Japanese porn still censored?

also

How popular is Jeremy Lin over there?
Japanese porn censoring is actually part of Japanese law, so the porn we get from Japan is usually censored. However, I know some Japanese porn studios have gotten around the law by producing their porn overseas, which results in rare uncensored porn. Personally I have no preference regarding censorship, I enjoy censored porn just the same.

Jeremy Lin is amazingly popular, though this is a bit of a self-perpetuating cycle, due to the media liking to focus on the most popular things and thus boost ratings, which increases Jeremy's exposure even more, which then increases his popularity, which makes the media focus on him even more...

The last time Jeremy Lin visited, basically every news station had him as the top story, as well as the second and third and fourth and fifth story. They had in-depth exposes on what kind of sunglasses he wore, whether his hair was different, etc etc. It was crazy.

However, there are also voices of reason among the fanboys and fangirls, wondering why we're so obsessed with him. As one columnist wrote, "Jeremy Lin is American, so Taiwan why are you going crazy over him?"

Me, I think he's a decent player, but so are lots of other guys in the NBA, so meh.
 
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