[Writing] I wrote a short story for a contest - Looking for a critical reader or two.

I haven't written a short story in ages but I had one rattling around in my head for months and then a contest popped up on my radar that jived with what I had been daydreaming about. So, I wrote it. My wife has helped me refine it a couple of times but she is no longer a naive reader, so I am looking for a volunteer to give me some notes to help polish it a little more before I submit it.

Thanks!
 
I haven't written a short story in ages but I had one rattling around in my head for months and then a contest popped up on my radar that jived with what I had been daydreaming about. So, I wrote it. My wife has helped me refine it a couple of times but she is no longer a naive reader, so I am looking for a volunteer to give me some notes to help polish it a little more before I submit it.

Thanks!
I'll read it if you want
 
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