Continuing my effort of being open and honest about mental illness and my own personal hangups, I decided I would start one of these things. Ask me anything and I will answer as completely honestly as possible. Assuming of course I know the answer, if you try throwing state capitol trivia at me, you won't get very far.
I'm Poe and I'm kinda fucked in the head, AMA
- Thread starter Ravenpoe
- Start date
What’s something that is important to you but seemingly unimportant to others?
What’s something you don’t care about but seems to be important to others?
Tell us about something mildly embarrassing that happened to you in the past that still bothers you today.
Beef, pork, chicken, or fish?
Snack preference: sweet or salty?
Tryptophobic?
Last book read?
Do you have a bucket list of any sort, and what are some of the things you have on it or would put on it?
Do you have a budget? What’s the last thing you did or bought that wasn’t on the budget, or wouldn’t have been if you had one?
Do you tend to buy things, or experiences?
Do you save or invest more than a hundred dollars a year?
Cats or dogs?
Top three fictional stories/worlds?
Top three movies?
Top three bands?
Glasses, contacts, lasik, or naturally good eyesight?
Do you worry more about the past or the future?
What’s one thing you have to do that you wish you’d already finished?
Tabby, solid color, calico, or other?
Which is worse: wet dog smell or dog breath?
What’s something you don’t care about but seems to be important to others?
Tell us about something mildly embarrassing that happened to you in the past that still bothers you today.
Beef, pork, chicken, or fish?
Snack preference: sweet or salty?
Tryptophobic?
Last book read?
Do you have a bucket list of any sort, and what are some of the things you have on it or would put on it?
Do you have a budget? What’s the last thing you did or bought that wasn’t on the budget, or wouldn’t have been if you had one?
Do you tend to buy things, or experiences?
Do you save or invest more than a hundred dollars a year?
Cats or dogs?
Top three fictional stories/worlds?
Top three movies?
Top three bands?
Glasses, contacts, lasik, or naturally good eyesight?
Do you worry more about the past or the future?
What’s one thing you have to do that you wish you’d already finished?
Tabby, solid color, calico, or other?
Which is worse: wet dog smell or dog breath?
I used to be a pretty strict carnivore, but lately I've been finding myself eating less and less meat. Things like rice, beans, curries, and leafy greens are becoming more of my go to meal ingredients.
Dogs all the way (this is in answer to pets, not a continuation of food)
My ideal day is any spent inside a climate controlled enclosure. I am very much an indoor kid.
More answers will be coming. I was expecting work to be slow, then everything caught fire or exploded, or both
Do you prefer watching fires or explosions?
What’s your go-to curry recipe?
If I keep asking questions will you eventually declare question bankruptcy and only answer new questions?
B
BErt
What’s your favorite question that stienman asked?
Are you on multiple medications? Do you have fears or concerns about possibly being on them for life, or do you just roll with it? I ask because the one I’m on has a specific side effect that I’m not willing to deal with forever
Are you on multiple medications? Do you have fears or concerns about possibly being on them for life, or do you just roll with it? I ask because the one I’m on has a specific side effect that I’m not willing to deal with forever
Are you superstitious?
Alright, on to @stienman's questions.
Flowers, jewelry, things that are made to look nice with no other purpose, and in the case of flowers especially, only look nice for a very short amount of time. That's not to say I don't understand the appeal of aesthetic things. I have figurines, posters, pieces of artwork that I greatly enjoy having, but they evoke something within me that a glittery gem just doesn't.
Beef. I don't particularly care for fish (and am allergic to shellfish), and growing up poor means I've become very sensitive to the taste of chicken fat or cheap cuts of pork, to the point that just the risk of tasting it again puts off my appetite. That doesn't mean I hate chicken and pork, just that they are things I prefer to prepare myself.
I tend to buy things. I like things. Specifically gadgets and video games. And hearthstone cards... those should probably be added to the previous question.
*I also always feel bad referring to myself as poor, because I know there are people who can't even afford to eat, even some people on this board. I'm not missing any meals, but I am living in my parents' house.
Speaking of Paul Newman, The Color of Money is number 2. This is my dad's favorite movie, and while he and I may not have a whole lot in common outside of (decidedly faulty) genes, we can always watch this movie together.
The Shining, but I'm going to cheat and shoehorn in all of Stanley Kubrick's films. Yes, even Eyes Wide Shut. Hell, even A.I., which Kubrick died before he could direct, leaving Spielberg to do his best to try and make a Kubrick movie. I find his crafting of cinema fascinating.
David Bowie- All of it. The man was a musical genius that spanned genres.
Nas - While I grew up listening to bands like the previous two, I didn't come to hip-hop until adulthood, and it is now the genre I listen to the most, bar none. And if I'm going to be forced to choose best rapper, it's going to have to be Nas. If Tupac is Jesus, then Nas is... I don't know. John the Baptist? I really shouldn't do religious analogies, I'm not very good at them, and they probably come off as a little blasphemous. Especially to Tupac fans.
I did mention this was too long for here, right?
I keep meaning to get started on the next, though.
None of the above. The best cat is no cat.
Both are fine, if they are my dog. About a year ago, maybe two by now, my previous dog passed away. In the last few months of her life, she started to smell really bad. She smelled like an old dying dog, and her breath was worse. But she still wanted to cuddle, and there was no way I could deny her that just because she stunk.[DOUBLEPOST=1518318161,1518317871][/DOUBLEPOST]
I've never met a curry I didn't like. Seriously, pick any of them, I like looking for new variations I haven't tried yet.
And no, I will not declare question bankruptcy, but I may ask for an extension to avoid foreclosure.
Flowers, jewelry, things that are made to look nice with no other purpose, and in the case of flowers especially, only look nice for a very short amount of time. That's not to say I don't understand the appeal of aesthetic things. I have figurines, posters, pieces of artwork that I greatly enjoy having, but they evoke something within me that a glittery gem just doesn't.
Honestly? Nothing comes to mind. I get very socially anxious in public, in a sort of internal panicked way that makes me not want to be around people, but I can't remember the last time I felt embarrassed. And I tend not not dwell on the past too much. I don't even value pictures, and if I ever take pictures it is very rare that I will ever look at it.
Beef. I don't particularly care for fish (and am allergic to shellfish), and growing up poor means I've become very sensitive to the taste of chicken fat or cheap cuts of pork, to the point that just the risk of tasting it again puts off my appetite. That doesn't mean I hate chicken and pork, just that they are things I prefer to prepare myself.
Why not both?
I find it unpleasant, but to be a phobia it would need to severely impact me. It doesn't. It does make my skin crawl, though.
The last book I attempted to read was Ready Player One. I say attempted because I only got maybe a third of the way through it before giving up. I don't understand all the praise, that book is hot garbage. It references nerdy things that I like, but you can achieve the same thing just by saying "Hey, remember the 80's?" on every single page, and that doesn't make a good story. Before that, a book I did read all the way through was Astrophysics for People in a Hurry by Neil deGrasse Tyson.
I don't have a bucket list, but in thinking of what I would want to put on it, the first thing that came to mind was wanting to live in different cultures for some periods at a time. I used to often think about just leaving everything and going off to Tibet to join a Buddhist monastery on some mountain, living a simple life of self sustenance and reflection, learn how different people think, feel. Or maybe christian friars, or even an Amish community. And as I write this, I'm noticing that the places I'm listing are all religious communities, and while I'm not religious myself, maybe I'm seeking some sort of spiritual tourism.
I have a budget, now, and I do a pretty good job of sticking to it. The last thing I purchased that I still regret is the Vive. It's neat, but goddamn was it expensive, and every time I use it I consider selling it. I wonder what kind of resale value it has.
I tend to buy things. I like things. Specifically gadgets and video games. And hearthstone cards... those should probably be added to the previous question.
I banked $1000 into my savings account last year. Which doesn't feel like a lot, but it's also only something I just started doing. Once I have a safety net that I feel comfortable with should the catastrophic happen, I want to start funneling that saved money into investments. I mentioned before that I grew up poor. I'm still fairly poor. Learning how to not be poor is hard, but I would like to not always be poor.*
*I also always feel bad referring to myself as poor, because I know there are people who can't even afford to eat, even some people on this board. I'm not missing any meals, but I am living in my parents' house.
Absolutely dogs. I respect cats, but I don't like them. I'll leave them alone, they can leave me alone, and everyone will get along great.
Mass Effect, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars. Not necessarily in that order, but those are the rapid fire things that first come to mind. Two of those things got real bad towards the end, but one is getting better.
Cool Hand Luke might always hold a place in my heart as my favorite movie. It speaks to my anti-establishment sensibilities, and Paul Newman might be the greatest actor to ever live.
Speaking of Paul Newman, The Color of Money is number 2. This is my dad's favorite movie, and while he and I may not have a whole lot in common outside of (decidedly faulty) genes, we can always watch this movie together.
The Shining, but I'm going to cheat and shoehorn in all of Stanley Kubrick's films. Yes, even Eyes Wide Shut. Hell, even A.I., which Kubrick died before he could direct, leaving Spielberg to do his best to try and make a Kubrick movie. I find his crafting of cinema fascinating.
Guns N' Roses, specifically their debut album Appetite for Destruction (though November Rain is pretty dope)
David Bowie- All of it. The man was a musical genius that spanned genres.
Nas - While I grew up listening to bands like the previous two, I didn't come to hip-hop until adulthood, and it is now the genre I listen to the most, bar none. And if I'm going to be forced to choose best rapper, it's going to have to be Nas. If Tupac is Jesus, then Nas is... I don't know. John the Baptist? I really shouldn't do religious analogies, I'm not very good at them, and they probably come off as a little blasphemous. Especially to Tupac fans.
Glasses. I put them on when I wake up and don't take them off until I go to sleep or shower.
I don't worry about either, and that worries me. It's too long of a discussion to get into here, but I often feel like I am afflicted with a severe lack of ambition, and that makes me surprisingly content with the present. But it's a contentment that I worry might be symptomatic of something else, and may be causing a sort of emotional inertia that has me stuck in a holding pattern.
I did mention this was too long for here, right?
Growing up. I don't feel like an adult, and I'm starting to think you never actually do, and adults were lying to you the whole time growing up. Also, writing the next blood bowl article. I used to write those regularly, and I still have fans asking me if the series is ever coming back (like, tens of them!) but the last one was written six months ago, and the one before that was a year prior.
I keep meaning to get started on the next, though.
None of the above. The best cat is no cat.
Both are fine, if they are my dog. About a year ago, maybe two by now, my previous dog passed away. In the last few months of her life, she started to smell really bad. She smelled like an old dying dog, and her breath was worse. But she still wanted to cuddle, and there was no way I could deny her that just because she stunk.[DOUBLEPOST=1518318161,1518317871][/DOUBLEPOST]
On a nice cold night, I can sit around a campfire pretty comfortably. I even enjoy smelling like smoke afterwards.
I've never met a curry I didn't like. Seriously, pick any of them, I like looking for new variations I haven't tried yet.
And no, I will not declare question bankruptcy, but I may ask for an extension to avoid foreclosure.
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What is it about cats that you don’t like? Have you just not met your soul-mate-cat yet? Have all the cats in your life been jerks to you? Or are you a super hard core dog person to the point that cats are too bizarre to contemplate living with?
Are you an Apple or Android phone person?
And my favourite...
Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Coke or Pepsi?
Are you an Apple or Android phone person?
And my favourite...
Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Coke or Pepsi?
I liked getting to trash Ready Player One. I just want to reiterate, that book is like Fifty Shades of Grey, but with 80's nostalgia instead of terrible depictions of bdsm. Both seem to have poor opinions of women.
I am not currently on any medications. I probably should be, but I've been afraid to pursue them. Part of me is the worry that they won't make any difference, part of me is worried that the side effects would be worse (doubtful) and part of me is worried that I would miss the depression, or that somehow not suffering from depression would deprive me of whatever it is that makes me, me. To quote Gotye, you can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness.[DOUBLEPOST=1518320008,1518319962][/DOUBLEPOST]
I still have no idea what this references, but I know it elicits the same reference response every time.[DOUBLEPOST=1518320134][/DOUBLEPOST]
Not in any actual way, just in fun ways meant to add an extra layer of something because ritual is important to the human condition. Things like always rolling dice a certain way in games, or giving bad dice a timeout when they roll too many ones. Or switching dice if I roll a critical success, because clearly they're used up now, even though I know it's all random (outside of the slight bias all dice have due to imperfections).
So... 99% of my adopted superstitions are dice related.[DOUBLEPOST=1518320645][/DOUBLEPOST]
Cats don't need me. And I don't need cats. Dogs will love you unconditionally. If you die, a dog will wait for you forever, or dutifully guard your body. A cat will eat you.
Android phones, all the way. Nothing against apple, they make neat shit, but the philosophy behind apple is the exact opposite of what I want in gadgets. I don't want to be locked out of the inner workings of the phone for my own good and have it just work, I want the ability to do whatever I want with it, and if that risks breaking it then that's on me, and I accept that risk. Windows tries to go further down the apple path with every revision and it's pissing me off.
Jennifer Aniston, 100%. One of my first celebrity crushes. I own We're the Millers on bluray purely because of her, and that movie is a pretty middle of the road comedy, except for one specific scene that... I've said too much.
And Diet Coke is pure ambrosia. I've cut out all sugary sodas from my diet, and try to drink mostly water, but when I come home from work exhausted the first thing I want is a nice cold diet coke.
Oh yes. 100% agreement here.
Or perhaps uncomplicated solitude?
I think you mean Paul Newman.
I, too, feel afflicted by this malady.
--Patrick
Your cat comments made me sad...and then I wasn't sure what to think about your Aniston love, but you brought it all back with your Diet Coke love. It's the only badness that I have left and I love the stuff even if I can only drink the watered down version. And Diet Pepsi is NOT OK. I try to behave myself when I'm asked in restaurants, but for real...it's just not ok. If someone asked for a beer and they asked if an apple juice was ok, there would be violence in restaurants. They should know better 
Wait, why'd I write John? I'm not even sure how that happened, except that I was bouncing back and forth between these and came upon this right after John the Baptist.
Come to think of it, I do remember thinking "Paul the Baptist? That isn't right."
I don't actually watch anime, and I don't know what Yuru Camp is.
At least you weren't thinking of Lorne Greene's "George" while listening to Ringo Harrison.
--Patrick
What's the worst misplay you've made in Blood Bowl?
Choosing to play ogres for a full season, followed by choosing to play goblins for a full season. My win rate has really tanked, but the games have become some of the most viewed in the league. For anyone not aware, these are two of the three worst teams in the game, which are purposefully bad just for shits and giggles.
I like Locomotive.
When I'm listening to my music on shuffle, whenever the player lands on Animate I think for a moment it's Locomotive and I get disappointed. Oddly enough, Whenever Locomotive starts I think "sweet, Rush" and get disappointed.
Is there a pair of songs you similarly confuse with each other?
Not specifically a pair, but for some reason I always confuse The Romantics for The Ramones
I buy stevia, but really any of them, or none of them.
I'm always confusing Melanie Griffith and Michelle Pfeiffer for some reason I've never been able to determine.
Do you like marshmallows?
--Patrick
Do you have a guiding philosophical outlook?
Sure.
It's no secret that I am a very non-religious person, but the closest I've ever come to practicing a religion was Buddhism, albeit a non theistic flavor, and I still carry a lot of that with me today. Without getting too involved, my basic philosophy is a belief that altruistic actions are the best course of action both personally and for the continuation of our species, and that the more one is able to devote their intellect to reflection on that, the greater the odds they will come to the same conclusion. I don't believe in any sort of metaphysical or spiritual enlightenment, but I do believe in an intellectual one that we should all strive to achieve. The same with karma. I don't view karma as an actual 'thing' or spiritual force, but rather a good way to visualize the weight of our actions and decisions.
Does any of that make sense? I've always been terrible at communicating these types of thoughts.
You take that back, I'm still funny!