Trails of co-parenting with my ex.
- Thread starter Shawn
- Start date
I mean, doing that would definitely demonstrate your commitment to her safety, sooo...
--Patrick
A commitment but to what end? The effectiveness of my mask would fade the longer I am in close contact with her anyway. Plus it seems like it would be just giving in to my ex’s need for control.
Things have not progressed well. Currently my ex is refusing to allow the week vacation I had planned with Hailey on the grounds that we never made a formal agreement to it.
I have been asking for this vacation for quite some time. During COVID it would be completely just for the time with Hailey as we will not be going anywhere or seeing anyone, but a week with Hailey under any circumstances is exactly what we need. I have been asking Sarah about it for quite some time now who has basically told me it is a possibility. In late October we finally received Sarah's proposal for the divorce judgment (which took her 7 months to do), which did include the week vacations during Hailey's winter and summer breaks as I have requested. After meeting with me my lawyer sent our proposed changes to the order on November 5th. It has been over a month later and Sarah has yet to provide any response to those changes. She is now claiming that because there has not been a formal agreement to the winter break vacation that it doesn't have to occur. As "correct" as she is, it still is heartbreaking that she is procrastinating past the deadline to basically ensure I do not get my vacation week with Hailey this year.
I have been asking for this vacation for quite some time. During COVID it would be completely just for the time with Hailey as we will not be going anywhere or seeing anyone, but a week with Hailey under any circumstances is exactly what we need. I have been asking Sarah about it for quite some time now who has basically told me it is a possibility. In late October we finally received Sarah's proposal for the divorce judgment (which took her 7 months to do), which did include the week vacations during Hailey's winter and summer breaks as I have requested. After meeting with me my lawyer sent our proposed changes to the order on November 5th. It has been over a month later and Sarah has yet to provide any response to those changes. She is now claiming that because there has not been a formal agreement to the winter break vacation that it doesn't have to occur. As "correct" as she is, it still is heartbreaking that she is procrastinating past the deadline to basically ensure I do not get my vacation week with Hailey this year.
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The Drama Train has pulled up to the station.
Sarah just informed me that Hailey has another fever this morning. I last saw Hailey on Sunday, but Sarah made it very clear in her message today that Hailey also coincidently complained of a headache on Tuesday night.
Myself and my roommates are completely fine.
Sarah just informed me that Hailey has another fever this morning. I last saw Hailey on Sunday, but Sarah made it very clear in her message today that Hailey also coincidently complained of a headache on Tuesday night.
Myself and my roommates are completely fine.
No but its a good idea.
Hailey's test supposedly came back negative. I say "supposedly" because I asked my ex for a copy of the test results. She sent me the results from last month's scare instead. I've informed her of the "error" and asked her to send the new one, but she has yet to reply. I have confirmation that she read the email however. Not sure what to think here, but I would not put it past her to fake a covid scare with Hailey to try and get her point across about postponing visits.
Hailey will be over for a week starting Sunday. We're going to learn some recipes together, making gingerbread cookies, and basically having a second Christmas.
Meanwhile my ex and my divorce negotiations have hit a snag. She is disputing on some terms of hers that I agreed to. Basically my lawyer made it clear that we are not happy with the terms, but we are agreeing with them for the sake of cooperation and keeping things moving. Despite those words not being something that would ever go in the final judgement she is going to fight them being said at all. Honestly I don't get it.
Meanwhile my ex and my divorce negotiations have hit a snag. She is disputing on some terms of hers that I agreed to. Basically my lawyer made it clear that we are not happy with the terms, but we are agreeing with them for the sake of cooperation and keeping things moving. Despite those words not being something that would ever go in the final judgement she is going to fight them being said at all. Honestly I don't get it.
Hailey and I had a good week. Didn't venture out much due to Covid but we made the most of being stuck at home. We baked Gingerbread cookies together, prepared meals, binged Gravity Falls, and watched a few films. On the last night with me we drove up to Six Flags where they had a drive-thru light show.
Her mother, of course, emailed me after her drop off with a few "concerns". At least this time they were politely worded (last time she openly accused me of taking credit for gifts that Hailey had received from her for Christmas). One of which was that I did not allow Hailey to call her when she asked. I'm not like Sarah in this regard. I don't let my resentments of Sarah affect Hailey in any way. If Hailey wanted to call her mother I would absolutely allow it. The problem was that Hailey never asked. So now it's either Hailey is telling both her mother and I different things (possibly to make sure neither of us feel bad), or Sarah is either mishearing/exaggerating things that Hailey is saying. Both are very possible. During my marriage Sarah was a master of "mishearing" people. I can remember plenty of instances where I was told of some terrible thing that some person we knew had said about her or about me, but I was forbidden from following up on it. Especially in situations where following up was necessary (such as when she claimed my decade-long friend had touched her inappropriately).
I'll gently ask Hailey about the comments when I see her again. I'll just ask if she did indeed ask me about calling her mother and somehow I missed or misunderstood it. Regardless of her answer I'll remind her that she can always ask me in the future and I'll always say yes.
I hate that I'm the only one of us that wants Hailey to have a good relationship with both parents. It feels like a lost cause walking the high ground sometimes.
Her mother, of course, emailed me after her drop off with a few "concerns". At least this time they were politely worded (last time she openly accused me of taking credit for gifts that Hailey had received from her for Christmas). One of which was that I did not allow Hailey to call her when she asked. I'm not like Sarah in this regard. I don't let my resentments of Sarah affect Hailey in any way. If Hailey wanted to call her mother I would absolutely allow it. The problem was that Hailey never asked. So now it's either Hailey is telling both her mother and I different things (possibly to make sure neither of us feel bad), or Sarah is either mishearing/exaggerating things that Hailey is saying. Both are very possible. During my marriage Sarah was a master of "mishearing" people. I can remember plenty of instances where I was told of some terrible thing that some person we knew had said about her or about me, but I was forbidden from following up on it. Especially in situations where following up was necessary (such as when she claimed my decade-long friend had touched her inappropriately).
I'll gently ask Hailey about the comments when I see her again. I'll just ask if she did indeed ask me about calling her mother and somehow I missed or misunderstood it. Regardless of her answer I'll remind her that she can always ask me in the future and I'll always say yes.
I hate that I'm the only one of us that wants Hailey to have a good relationship with both parents. It feels like a lost cause walking the high ground sometimes.