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It's bad luck to say MacBook inside an office. You have to refer to it as "The Scottish Laptop"
PatrThom
PatrThom
It's also bad luck to be seen using a MacBook in an office, since even the most recent one is only Kaby Lake, tech from all the way back in 2016.
mikerc
mikerc
MacBook isn't Scottish, it's crap!
Not to slut shame, but you all could be much sluttier if you'd actually put in the effort. Come on, step it up.
mikerc
mikerc
You don't pay me enough for me to put in the effort.
PatrThom
PatrThom
Perhaps your sluts would be willing to slut harder for you if you did not shame them so much.
10 years later... still somewhat lurking and occasionally posting...
PatrThom
PatrThom
Keep it up!
I occasionally look for you to stream but so far no luck. This may be due to how rarely I look/you stream.
Soupy
Soupy
Oh I think my streaming days are over/rare for now. Between workload I bring home from teaching to my own young kids, by the time 9pm hits it's time for a couch! Thanks for the kind thoughts though! I should just flip on twitch when I AM playing something though... but first.. a new rig is in order.
Happy 3:16! Remember, God so loved the world that He sent Himself to sacrifice Himself to Himself to save humanity from the torment He said we deserve for breaking rules He designed while knowing completely that we were incapable of following them to His satisfaction.
PatrThom
PatrThom
And blow them into tiny bits, in Thy mercy...
PatrThom
PatrThom
You know, it occurred to me this could also be construed as, "You all better behave yourselves, or else I will kill Myself. I SWEAR TO ME I'LL DO IT DON'T PUSH ME."
Look, all I'm saying is, every single person who confuses correlation with causation ends up dying.
mikerc
mikerc
True but i haven't died yet, so I'm clearly not going to.
PatrThom
PatrThom
As do the people who don't!
...wait.
If you're looking for some life lessons, here's a place to start: You will never be unhappy that you didn't trust a fart.
Maybe the reason so many guys have foot fetishes is because they lost their virginity to a sock.
Times are tough, so I will be once again selling nudes. $5 to get one. $25 to not get one.
mikerc
mikerc
How much to have one sent to other people?
PatrThom
PatrThom
Do you have a Patreon?
Twitter is where people who don't read books go to argue with the authors who wrote them.
PatrThom
PatrThom
Hey! That's not what I told them you said. Do it the right way next time!
Y'all don't know what it was like before memes. One joke from Billy Madison had to last you like 5 years.
PatrThom
PatrThom
On the plus side, the odds were higher the other person hadn't heard it yet.
My conspiracy theory is that Stanley Kubrick was hired to fake the moon landing, but he was such a stickler for detail he insisted on filming on location.
-Random YouTube commenter
When I die, I'll be going to hell. If not to be punished, then probably to be someone else's punishment.
PatrThom
PatrThom
You left out a third option, which is "to be an example for others." Or maybe "to teach," the prophecy is unclear on this point.
Nobody digs a well at the top of a hill. WTF were Jack and Jill doing up there...?
PatrThom
PatrThom
Considering that older versions tell the story of Jack and "Gill" (i.e., of two boys getting water), what were they doing, indeed?
mikerc
mikerc
Always dig your well uphill from the outhouse.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Pornhub is down, your facebook will do.
PatrThom
PatrThom
Their free premium must've put them over their data cap during the quarantine.
PatrThom
PatrThom
Also shouldn't this be, "...your MOM'S Facebook...?"
This should do the trick.

IRNTY-TRBN9-2MRQ5
PatrThom
PatrThom
This seems a lot more public than it was probably meant to be.
To this day, I'm still disgruntled that I was forced to learn to write in cursive as a child. It has literally never been useful.
Dei
Dei
Cursive exists so old people can complain that kids don't learn it anymore.
fade
fade
I have to keep detailed journals of my work as a researcher. I write in cursive all the time. Print would be too slow. I use multiple pen colors, too, just to really old school it. I like to imagine some video game protagonist will pick up one of my notebooks one day and somehow thumb through 100 pages to the exact passage that hints at how to solve my intricate death traps, despite no interaction from the user.
fade
fade
Uh, I mean "fun traps", FBI.
20 years ago, people escaped from the real world into the internet. Now people escape from the internet into the real world.
PatrThom
PatrThom
Twenty-SIX years ago, they were escaping from the movie theater into the real world. Coming from the Internet was just the next logical step.
It's so vulgar and unintellectual to call it "cum." Instead, call it high fructose porn syrup.
PatrThom
PatrThom
Or you could call it "bi-bro thigh's bae protein isolate" but that might be *too* intellectual.
Of all the bodily functions that COULD have been contagious, we are lucky it turned out to be yawning.
Brushing your teeth is the only time you ever clean your skeleton.
PatrThom
PatrThom
Kissing is the only time your skeleton normally touches someone else's, and you do NOT get extra points for finding new ways to do so.
I demand to be in good shape and I refuse to do anything to make that happen. Those are my terms.
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