ARG! I am so close to cutting all ties with my mother. She's ... ug.
Some history:
- back in early summer, she insisted that I come down to her place (a 2 hour drive one-way) and "pick up my stuff". OK, fine, I had some things of hers to drop off that wanted back and were large, so Eriol and I rented a U-haul, and drove down.
- upon arrival, she meets us at the detached garage, and points out a piece of paper that she wants me to sign that stipulates that after that date I will no longer have any claim, ever, to anything that she possesses. Anything that my grandparents had that they earmarked for me? Too bad. Any inheritance (which, if she doesn't loose it all buying and selling houses, should be significant)? Nope.
- I decline to sign, and show the piece of paper to Eriol who is livid on my behalf.
- I say *nothing* to her for the reminder of the time down there, haul her stuff into the garage, pick up my canoe which she has been storing, because, you know, she has a detached garage, and a shed, and lives on the water, and I don't, and we leave.
- During this "visit" she declines to invite us into her house (which she has been bugging me for *months* to come and see), does not offer access to her washroom, or even a glass of water.
- months pass. the relationship returns to something resembling normal. (2-3 phone calls a week)
- in early November, she calls and asks me to come down again, because she wants help moving some heavy items (that are likely covered in mouse poop, by her own admission). I suggest she hire some movers to do that, because between me and her we are not capable of what she wants, and you know, it's a 4 hour round trip, and I'm working and going to school. She says she doesn't want to hire movers because they would have to come from the closest town (45mins away) and they'd charge for the driving time. I point out that the ridiculousness of this whole logic "train." Conversation moves on. During which time, I ask her for probably the 3rd of 4th time if she's coming up for Christmas. She says she'll get back to me.
- haven't heard from her since.
- This week, I get Eriol (whom she hates - astute readers will notice that in her previous requests they have all been just to me, that's not an oversight) to e-mail her and officially and formally ask her to come up for three days (Dec 24-26) for Christmas, since I'm the only family she has, and he and I both have the time off.
- She (eventually) declines.
- He asks for her mailing address so we can send presents to her.
- She equivocates, refuses to give the information, gives some snarky reply, and suggests that we come to her (even though by the logic of her previous excuse we shouldn't - COVID-hot-spot to non-COVID-hot-spot travel is not recommended right now)
- He asks again.
- She gives her address, with some more passive-aggressive nonsense.
- I am utterly exhausted by all this.
The thing is, in these past 6 or so weeks, I've been the least stressed (about her) than I have been in years. I haven't dreaded the phone ringing. Or the *ding* from my home e-mail. I am so much happier without her in my life. And that feels horrible to say "out loud" but it's true. She's a passive-aggressive narcissistic emotionally and verbally abusive bully. I know this. Eriol knows this. Hell, my therapist knows this! She hates my spouse, she insults my cats, (to say nothing of how she treats me!), and she's miserable to be around. Is she likely depressed? Probably. Will she seek help. Absolutely not. And at this point, I think I might finally be past caring.
So... to the question - as a Christmas present to myself, do I sever all ties? Or do I keep them tiny and thin in the hopes of future financial security?
