Here's the problem Nec, for many, MANY under 30 somethings the word is merely something used in the music and culture they enjoy. This goes for people of all colors. It's part of their entertainment. It's in every rap, r&b and hiphop song they are sold. It's probably a great example of language changing over time. That doesn't make it "right" and it doesn't make it "okay" but the chances are, what it means to the a 14 year old asian/black/white kid who is gaming is probably totally different than what it means when you hear them using it. Thats the trouble with language, it's terribly malleable and there are those who can't accept the change of the meaning of a word away from what they are familiar with (and I'm not saying they should accept it, but accept it or not it doesn't stop it from changing).
Ah, ye old "the word doesn't mean the same thing anymore" defense. I find it interesting that all the people that would argue this would also never in a thousand years walk into a room filled with black people and use the word there. People intrinsically know the meaning of that word, and at such a deep level, that all the superficial dressing you can put on that word will never change its meaning. The meaning of the word hasn't changed in the slightest. The old usage is still just as nasty and recognizable as it always has been.
You could argue that there are 3 distinct uses of the word in contemporary culture-
White -> black : Traditional slur
black -> black : either a pronoun with positive or negative contextual meaning, or a slur
White -> white : same pronoun, more often with a negative connotation (see current use of word "faggot" or "gay")
The second usage, the one that is derived from hip hop and R&B is used as justification for the 3rd usage, which is ridiculous. Do white people walk around calling each other soul brother/sister? Do we call each other 'vato'? No. We can argue that it is from music, but frankly I think it's the alure of the taboo combined with a total lack of understanding of the cultural impact of the first usage, beyond a general fear of using it in the first use listed.
And fear itself represents the wrong attitude. It's not a word to be feared. It's a word to be respected. Fear makes us PC to the point of being stupid. Fear of the word ends up giving us ridiculous instances where politicians careers are destroyed for using an entirely unrelated term that simply sounds similar.
When you show the word the proper respect, however, you can easily see that the third usage has no place in the white colloquial vocabulary. There are too many other words that could be used that have the same meaning, and it is patently obvious that people that use it like that are not a hair's breadth above a 5 year old who shouts penis as loud as he can. In fact, people that use it in that sense are far lower as the child at least has the excuse of being a child, something a 14 year old will be quick to say he is not (and honestly, don't act like it's just 14 year olds using it. I have heard plenty of adults use it as well.)
Not that they won't learn the hard way. Either through loosing a job or having their teeth kicked in they will learn that you do not bandy that word about. In either case, its a lesson they could have learned earlier and easier if there wasn't this apologetic nonsense for the usage of the word.
