@General Specific , you have been chosen.
Even now, a parcel is working its way to your abode. It contains at least one tome of forbidden knowledge, one artifact of puzzling construction, and a tchotchke of no discernible menace.
@GasBandit , I sense that not one, but two offerings are even now wending their way to your location.
Further charity will, of course, require negotiation.
As I recall, blasphemy has been favorably received in the past.
The ultimate blasphemy? A parcel shipped after Christmas?
@Sparhawk , a second gift, an unholy amalgam of adhesive and photon distressed wood, should be at your door by the end of the week.