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ABC Family? More like....

Jul 14, 2009#1

Frankie Williamson

http://community.abcfamily.go.com/watch ... -done-done

...GOD KILLS YOUR PARENTS IF YOU HAVE PREMARITAL SEX YOU WHORES!

JESUS. FUCKING. CHRIST.

Have these thoughts ever gone through any teenager's mind? This is madness. I grew up in a wholly Catholic city that's public school system was the Catholic school system and I've known no one to be this crazy.

Jul 14, 2009#2

This is family viewing ABC Family?

It's rated "TV-14" and says "viewer discretion advised." Plenty of warnings if parents are being alert to what their kids watch.

Jul 14, 2009#3

Frankie Williamson

This is family viewing ABC Family?

It's not even the content that bothers me much, that was just a dig at the station's title. It's how absurdly terrible it is.

Didn't that channel play cartoons that weren't terrible not to long ago? What the hell happened?

Jul 14, 2009#4

Chibibar

This is family viewing ABC Family?

uh-whua??

I just lost precious intelligent points just watching that. (I don't have much to spare) someone please please please smack that girl.

Jul 14, 2009#5

This is family viewing ABC Family?

Frankie said:
It's how absurdly terrible it is.

Ah I see, missed your point.

I seem to remember a lot of craptastic shows on ABC Family. It was just the Family Channel before Disney bought it. A lot of suckage with a couple of exceptions I can't even remember now.

Jul 14, 2009#6

Frankie Williamson

This is family viewing ABC Family?

Didn't it used to be Fox Family?

Man, you know what was a rad kid's show? Fillmore. I miss Fillmore.

Also, changed the OP to be more clear.

Jul 14, 2009#7

Hylian

This is family viewing ABC Family?

I could not turn that off quick enough

Jul 14, 2009#8

CynicismKills

This is family viewing ABC Family?

Dad died a horrible death because I had incredible sex.

hahahahahahaha

Jul 14, 2009#9

Shakey

They need to watch some Degrassi Junior High to see how it should be done. That was just funny.

Jul 14, 2009#10

Lally

They are contractually obligated to have "Family" in the name of the network. Back in the day the network was founded by Pat Robertson, and when it was bought by Fox, and eventually ABC/Disney, it was a stipulation that the name "Family" appear in the name of the network (and also that they show a Christian news show, the 700 club). I don't know the exact nature of the contract, but I imagine if they tried to change it Robertson could sue them.

Jul 14, 2009#11

The Lovely Boehner

isn't Greek on that network? I've heard some good things about it.

Jul 14, 2009#12

Frankie Williamson

Charlie Dont Surf said:
isn't Greek on that network? I've heard some good things about it.

My room mate loves Greek. My room mate also loves any show about 27 year old pretty teenagers having 'REAL' problems (The OC, Beverly Hills 90210, The Hills Etc.)

Awful.

Jul 14, 2009#13

The Lovely Boehner

Frankie said:
Charlie Dont Surf said:

isn't Greek on that network? I've heard some good things about it.

Click to expand...

My room mate loves Greek. My room mate also loves any show about 27 year old pretty teenagers having 'REAL' problems (The OC, Beverly Hills 90210, The Hills Etc.)

Awful.

Have you seen Greek, or are you just lumping it in with those other shows?

Jul 14, 2009#14

Charlie Dont Surf said:
Have you seen Greek, or are you just lumping it in with those other shows?

Have you seen Greek, or are you just lumping it in with stuff you've "heard some good things" about?

(just screwing around, by the way, I am not being serious ITT)

Jul 14, 2009#15

Frankie Williamson

I have not seen it, I'm just basing it on my room mate's general bad taste in everything. And he fucking loves Greek.

Jul 14, 2009#16

Cajungal

I will admit, if someone I know has almost opposite taste in something than me, it's hard to believe that you could like anything that they like. But I guess you never know til you try. I've discovered a few cool things by letting go of that feeling... some terrible things too.

Jul 14, 2009#17

Tress

That channel should go back to showing classic ABC reruns like Boy Meets World. The crap in that clip was awful.

Jul 14, 2009#18

Batdan

This is family viewing ABC Family?

CynicismKills said:
Dad died a horrible death because I had incredible sex.

hahahahahahaha

Jul 14, 2009#19

The Lovely Boehner

Oh, I know, I was just asking. I thought it was obvious I hadn't seen it, and was curious if he had. The three shows he mentioned were actually kind of weirdly different. The OC is actually fairly good, both 90210's are kind of standard teeny soap drama, and The Hills is a cable reality TV show. So I was a little confused.

Jul 14, 2009#20

Charlie Dont Surf said:
The OC is actually fairly good, both 90210's are kind of standard teeny soap drama, and The Hills is a cable reality TV show. So I was a little confused.

Hmm...suck, suck, and suck was all I saw of any of those shows, but then again I'm in the "I don't give a particle of poo about some 16-year-old's angst over who to fuck" crowd. I even hated My So-Called Life and I was only 21 or so when it came out.

The last really good show in that genre that I can remember was Freaks and Geeks, but then again I never saw Undecided.

Jul 14, 2009#21

The Lovely Boehner

I thought the first three or so seasons of Dawson's Creek were great :redface:

Jul 14, 2009#22

Cajungal

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDxmBnClB7k:21gi4ah1][/youtube:21gi4ah1]

Jul 14, 2009#23

Charlie Dont Surf said:
I thought the first three or so seasons of Dawson's Creek were great :redface:

You really just earned that emoticon.

Jul 14, 2009#24

Steve

This is family viewing ABC Family?

CynicismKills said:
Dad died a horrible death because I had incredible sex.

That made watching the clip worth it. Best line ever. I hope as this series continues we find out that her having incredible sex did contribute to her father's death.

And, really, when discussing sex and your father's death to your mother do you need to tell her it was incredible?

Jul 14, 2009#25

Frankie Williamson

Charlie Dont Surf said:
Oh, I know, I was just asking. I thought it was obvious I hadn't seen it, and was curious if he had. The three shows he mentioned were actually kind of weirdly different. The OC is actually fairly good, both 90210's are kind of standard teeny soap drama, and The Hills is a cable reality TV show. So I was a little confused.

I said The Hills when I meant One Tree Hill, though he does like The Hills too.

Either way, not my cup of tea.

-- Tue Jul 14, 2009 4:44 pm --

ZenMonkey said:
Charlie Dont Surf said:

The OC is actually fairly good, both 90210's are kind of standard teeny soap drama, and The Hills is a cable reality TV show. So I was a little confused.

Click to expand...

Hmm...suck, suck, and suck was all I saw of any of those shows, but then again I'm in the "I don't give a particle of poo about some 16-year-old's angst over who to fuck" crowd. I even hated My So-Called Life and I was only 21 or so when it came out.

The last really good show in that genre that I can remember was Freaks and Geeks, but then again I never saw Undecided.

Undeclared you mean?

Undeclared was much more of a sitcom than Freaks and Geeks, though I liked both because oddly enough I was the exact age of the characters in both shows, late high school in Freaks and Geeks, young college in Undeclared.

Jul 14, 2009#26

Frankie said:
Undeclared you mean?

My brain thought "Undeclared" but my fingers were undecided as to whether it was correct, apparently.

Jul 14, 2009#27

DarkAudit

Lally's right. The original version of ABC Family was the Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN) and was owned by Pat Robertson. CBN became The Family Channel after it was spun off to keep CBN nonprofit.

When it was sold to Fox, terms of the sale said that the word "Family" had to stay in the channel's name forever, no matter who bought it later. The same goes for airing The 700 Club twice daily and a CBN telethon every January.

The only way out of those terms is to kill the channel entirely. Since the various incarnations of the channel are already on most cable and satellite lineups, it was decided the better option was to just suck it up with regard to the terms and keep the slot. It would be much harder to get a brand new channel up and running in the same number of households.

Jul 14, 2009#28

The Lovely Boehner

Hahaha, I won't even start to defend One Tree Hill

Jul 14, 2009#29

sixpackshaker

This is family viewing ABC Family?

Batdan said:
CynicismKills said:

Dad died a horrible death because I had incredible sex.

hahahahahahaha

Click to expand...

Mom's jealous double take when she said that... :rofl:

Can't ABC just shutter this network and just start a new one, ABCteenshavingsex Network? any time I've seen an ad for this abomination, it seems to involve sexually active high school kids. :blue:

Jul 14, 2009#30

I wish the mom had just gone ahead and said "Yes, honey. Dad died because you had sex. It's all your fault and I will always blame you." Then cut to the 700 Club.

I mean that's pretty much what I just watched, with the mom gazing soulfully at the daughter she's completely fucked up with that religious guilt trip.

Jul 14, 2009#31

figmentPez

I first saw this clip on The Soup. It was the second clip from the show that I've seen. The first involved a teen trying to borrow a cashmere sweater so she could look good when trying to seduce her brother.

Jul 14, 2009#32

Tress

figmentPez said:
It was the second clip from the show that I've seen. The first involved a teen trying to borrow a cashmere sweater so she could look good when trying to seduce her brother.

Wait, what?? :puke:

Jul 14, 2009#33

crono1224

This is family viewing ABC Family?

Batdan said:
CynicismKills said:

Dad died a horrible death because I had incredible sex.

hahahahahahaha

Click to expand...

My thoughts exactly, I can't believe they added that adjective as if regular sex isn't worth 'smiting' a parent over.

Jul 14, 2009#34

This is family viewing ABC Family?

crono1224 said:
My thoughts exactly, I can't believe they added that adjective as if regular sex isn't worth 'smiting' a parent over.

Something about the mom's reaction shot after that line really gave me a good laugh.

Jul 14, 2009#35

blotsfan

Her parent is dead.

Jul 14, 2009#36

Cajungal

HAH! That's hilarious.

Jul 14, 2009#37

Gurpel

alright, so now that we have agreed that god kills your parents if you have sex, lets head down to the church and sacrifice some sheep so that he will make our crops grow.

what were these people thinking when they wrote that script? i mean, actually.

Jul 14, 2009#38

crono1224

This is family viewing ABC Family?

ZenMonkey said:
crono1224 said:

My thoughts exactly, I can't believe they added that adjective as if regular sex isn't worth 'smiting' a parent over.

Click to expand...

Something about the mom's reaction shot after that line really gave me a good laugh.

Guess the last good lay for her was laying her husband to... no I shouldn't

Jul 14, 2009#39

Cajungal

I wonder how many people our NSFW forum has killed.

aranoid: Boob sizes? More like.... coffin sizes.

Jul 14, 2009#40

crono1224

Cajungal said:
I wonder how many people our NSFW forum has killed. aranoid: Boob sizes? More like.... coffin sizes.

I'm not even sure how to respond to that :bush:

Jul 14, 2009#41

This is family viewing ABC Family?

crono1224 said:
Guess the last good lay for her was laying her husband to... no I shouldn't

Instead of getting a piece, now he's resting in peace?

Jul 15, 2009#42

Chibibar

Tress said:
figmentPez said:

It was the second clip from the show that I've seen. The first involved a teen trying to borrow a cashmere sweater so she could look good when trying to seduce her brother.

Click to expand...

Wait, what??

uh-whua??

Ok.... now it is getting weirder.

Jul 15, 2009#43

Cajungal

It's fun being used to this kind of insanity. I used to work with a girl who called Whirling Dervishes "demonic" and thought that God would strike her for watching them... or for listening to New Age music. Although I wouldn't blame him for the latter.

Jul 15, 2009#44

Fun Size

I can't see the clip, and I'm okay with that. I propose we now fill this thread with ways your parent could die as a result of you having sex.

Dad died because I was giving a hummer to the guy driving the Hummer that ran him over.

Jul 15, 2009#45

Cajungal

Trampled by 69 people in a marching band, all playing rusty trombones. :Leyla:

Jul 15, 2009#46

Fun Size

Cajungal said:
Trampled by 69 people in a marching band, all playing rusty trombones.

Jul 15, 2009#47

Tress

Cajungal said:
Trampled by 69 people in a marching band, all playing rusty trombones.

/thread.

Jul 15, 2009#48

sixpackshaker

Tress said:
Cajungal said:

Trampled by 69 people in a marching band, all playing rusty trombones.

Click to expand...

/thread.

/signed

Jul 15, 2009#49

Cajungal

/sealed, delivered I'm yours.

Jul 15, 2009#50

Chibibar

Cajungal said:
/sealed, delivered I'm yours.

Hey cajungal... I'm still waiting on that chicken and recipe

Jul 15, 2009#51

Cajungal

OH Jesus, I forgot all about making that thread! Dude... it's hard to keep chicken on a road trip. It's even HARDER to poach it in your hotel bathtub. It came out tartare every time.

Jul 15, 2009#52

Chibibar

Cajungal said:
OH Jesus, I forgot all about making that thread! Dude... it's hard to keep chicken on a road trip. It's even HARDER to poach it in your hotel bathtub. It came out tartare every time.

well... no worries. At least I got a hug and meet your counterpart. Too bad we didn't have time to hang out

Project A-kon becomes more of a work than play

but it is fun and I get to meet people.

Jul 15, 2009#53

sixpackshaker

CG you just reminded me of a local story. This guy gets off work late, and is tired. He goes down to the Apartment's Hot Tub that is connected to the swimming pool. He gets in and relaxes for several minutes. Gets out goes back too his apartment and with in 30 minutes is deathly ill, calls 911 and goes to the emergency room. The doctor does not know exactly what is wrong with him, but thinks it may be salmonella.

The city health inspector goes door to door of the complex that night to see if anyone saw anything suspicious earlier that day with the pool and hot tub.

One resident basically said ...I did not see anything odd going on when I went to the hot tub to thaw my two frozen chickens...

Jul 15, 2009#54

Cajungal

:bush: Don't let him cook again ever. Shackle him to a phonebook-sized binder full of takeout menus. For God's sake.

Jul 15, 2009#55

CynicismKills

Cajungal said:
OH Jesus, I forgot all about making that thread! Dude... it's hard to keep chicken on a road trip. It's even HARDER to poach it in your hotel bathtub. It came out tartare every time.

Well you're not supposed to bathe at the same time.

Jul 15, 2009#56

Cajungal

CynicismKills said:
Cajungal said:

OH Jesus, I forgot all about making that thread! Dude... it's hard to keep chicken on a road trip. It's even HARDER to poach it in your hotel bathtub. It came out tartare every time.

Click to expand...

Well you're not supposed to bathe at the same time.

...and you're also not supposed to use the giblets as a loofah?

Jul 15, 2009#57

Chibibar

Cajungal said:
CynicismKills said:

Cajungal said:

OH Jesus, I forgot all about making that thread! Dude... it's hard to keep chicken on a road trip. It's even HARDER to poach it in your hotel bathtub. It came out tartare every time.

Click to expand...

Well you're not supposed to bathe at the same time.

Click to expand...

...and you're also not supposed to use the giblets as a loofah?

I am partly disturb and kinda curious at the same time...... trying to imagine CG using giblet as loofah.....

Jul 15, 2009#58

Fun Size

Chibibar said:
Cajungal said:

CynicismKills said:

Cajungal said:

OH Jesus, I forgot all about making that thread! Dude... it's hard to keep chicken on a road trip. It's even HARDER to poach it in your hotel bathtub. It came out tartare every time.

Click to expand...

Well you're not supposed to bathe at the same time.

Click to expand...

...and you're also not supposed to use the giblets as a loofah?

Click to expand...

I am partly disturb and kinda curious at the same time...... trying to imagine CG using giblet as loofah.....

Allow me to add a few years to your life. Do NOT picture anything anyone says on this forum. Ever.

Especially not your mom with a dollar bill in her teeth which she's using to lure a garter belted Dave down to pick up between his flappy hooties.

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