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Aftermath (long)
#1
WasabiPoptart
WasabiPoptart
So yeah Saturday was a lot of fun. Slept a bit late. Aussie didn't have to go to work in the morning. The kids were ever still asleep when we woke up. So he went downstairs to make coffee. And then came back up a few minutes later, holding both of our phones, looking like a close family member just died. He thrust my phone at me just as I sat up. My first thought was that it was one of my parents. Shit.
"There's an alert on the phones."
Oh? A flood warning. Is there going to be rain?
"It says it's a ballistic missile warning. Not a drill."
But there were no sirens. That was odd. So I got out of bed and followed him downstairs. He was talking about how he didn't find anything about it online, but something something something. I was already checking CNN, the Hawaii sub-Reddit, and Twitter. Nothing in national media. The sub-Reddit was spiralling into chaos. Twitter! Jackpot!
The state's Emergency Management Agency says this is a false alarm.
I knew it! No sirens. No missile. Lily's awake now and sits with me on the couch with a sleepy yawn. I copy the link to the tweet and post to FB since my Ohana here are all freaking out. Then the base's alert system goes off. The siren. The recording saying this is not a drill, shelter in place. WTF. The military says it's not a mistake! My stomach knots up. My heart begins to race. I fight the urge to run into our laundry room to hide (thank you fight-or-flight response). Noah jumps out of bed and flies down the stairs while yelling "What's that? What's going on?"
Aussie's now found more info online and before I can open my mouth to say that I have no idea what's happening now, he tells both kids, "It's ok. Someone must have pushed the wrong button." He turns on the TV. Various legislators are on social media saying this was a false alert. The TV stations say there's no inbound missile. I call my mom to tell her that we're ok before she sees anything in the news about this incident.
Twenty minutes later I'm on the verge of tears because it's over, we're alive, and my local friends are all ok, too. I go back on FB and Twitter to cross post more information. Mainland friends send relieved responses. One friend called. Another took the time to chat with me later in the day about it all despite having a full plate of her own.
Neither of my best friend. She didn't even respond when I said I was freaking out. She posted the following picture on Saturday evening:
Oh Lilo & Stitch. That's Hawaii. Awww. I'm the friend who doesn't live near her, right? NOPE. She tagged someone else. She hasn't called, emailed, sent a text, or IM'd me on social media just to ask how the family is doing or to make sure I'm ok. I've been sitting here thinking about how our proximity to the joint base probably means we'll be dead if there is a missile strike. Or that if we aren't instantly killed then we'll be the real life version of Sarah Connor's dream from T2 complete with being on fire and screaming in pain and how I'd rather die than have to watch my kids go through that incredible suffering. And this "best friend" can't even send me a "Oh hey I was thinking of you. Hope you're ok."
I'M NOT FUCKING OK!
AND YOU'RE A FUCKING SELF-ABSORBED C---!
On top of facing mortality of my family and myself, and being terrified that I might have to watch my kids go through a living hell if we weren't instantly incinerated, I've got to deal with the loss of a friend I've had for over 20 years, too. And, yes, it is a loss because who the fuck does that? It all hurts. I feel like I have no one that I'm close to other than Aussie. I love him and we're friends, but it isn't the same thing. We were "un-biological sisters". We planned a wedding to one another so we didn't have to be alone when we got old and we'd have health insurance benefits. I have friends here in HI, on the mainland, and the ones who live in my laptop like you all. I love you all, but like with Aussie, it isn't the same kind of thing. Admittedly, our friendship hasn't been as tight for the past few years (we had a big falling out over a social issue), but I never thought it would come down to something this uncaring or callous. I'm devastated and I don't know what to do.
(FYI I'm seeing my therapist on the 24th.)
"There's an alert on the phones."
Oh? A flood warning. Is there going to be rain?
"It says it's a ballistic missile warning. Not a drill."
But there were no sirens. That was odd. So I got out of bed and followed him downstairs. He was talking about how he didn't find anything about it online, but something something something. I was already checking CNN, the Hawaii sub-Reddit, and Twitter. Nothing in national media. The sub-Reddit was spiralling into chaos. Twitter! Jackpot!
The state's Emergency Management Agency says this is a false alarm.
I knew it! No sirens. No missile. Lily's awake now and sits with me on the couch with a sleepy yawn. I copy the link to the tweet and post to FB since my Ohana here are all freaking out. Then the base's alert system goes off. The siren. The recording saying this is not a drill, shelter in place. WTF. The military says it's not a mistake! My stomach knots up. My heart begins to race. I fight the urge to run into our laundry room to hide (thank you fight-or-flight response). Noah jumps out of bed and flies down the stairs while yelling "What's that? What's going on?"
Aussie's now found more info online and before I can open my mouth to say that I have no idea what's happening now, he tells both kids, "It's ok. Someone must have pushed the wrong button." He turns on the TV. Various legislators are on social media saying this was a false alert. The TV stations say there's no inbound missile. I call my mom to tell her that we're ok before she sees anything in the news about this incident.
Twenty minutes later I'm on the verge of tears because it's over, we're alive, and my local friends are all ok, too. I go back on FB and Twitter to cross post more information. Mainland friends send relieved responses. One friend called. Another took the time to chat with me later in the day about it all despite having a full plate of her own.
Neither of my best friend. She didn't even respond when I said I was freaking out. She posted the following picture on Saturday evening:
Oh Lilo & Stitch. That's Hawaii. Awww. I'm the friend who doesn't live near her, right? NOPE. She tagged someone else. She hasn't called, emailed, sent a text, or IM'd me on social media just to ask how the family is doing or to make sure I'm ok. I've been sitting here thinking about how our proximity to the joint base probably means we'll be dead if there is a missile strike. Or that if we aren't instantly killed then we'll be the real life version of Sarah Connor's dream from T2 complete with being on fire and screaming in pain and how I'd rather die than have to watch my kids go through that incredible suffering. And this "best friend" can't even send me a "Oh hey I was thinking of you. Hope you're ok."
I'M NOT FUCKING OK!
AND YOU'RE A FUCKING SELF-ABSORBED C---!
On top of facing mortality of my family and myself, and being terrified that I might have to watch my kids go through a living hell if we weren't instantly incinerated, I've got to deal with the loss of a friend I've had for over 20 years, too. And, yes, it is a loss because who the fuck does that? It all hurts. I feel like I have no one that I'm close to other than Aussie. I love him and we're friends, but it isn't the same thing. We were "un-biological sisters". We planned a wedding to one another so we didn't have to be alone when we got old and we'd have health insurance benefits. I have friends here in HI, on the mainland, and the ones who live in my laptop like you all. I love you all, but like with Aussie, it isn't the same kind of thing. Admittedly, our friendship hasn't been as tight for the past few years (we had a big falling out over a social issue), but I never thought it would come down to something this uncaring or callous. I'm devastated and I don't know what to do.
(FYI I'm seeing my therapist on the 24th.)
#2
strawman
strawman
#3
Dave
Dave
#4
drawn_inward
drawn_inward
#5
WasabiPoptart
WasabiPoptart
#6
Dave
Dave
#7
jwhouk
jwhouk
#8
strawman
strawman
#9
WasabiPoptart
[DOUBLEPOST=1516223598,1516223315][/DOUBLEPOST]
WasabiPoptart
I am, too. She had openings when I had time free so I jumped on it. Also, trigger is a real psych term (I'm sure you know) so it doesn't feel like a pun when used in the right context. The public schools have sent home a letter telling people if they need to get help that DOE can provide resources. I have my own therapist, but I also have a list of agencies from my internship that I could have contacted if I was unable to see her. Social worker heal thyself!
[DOUBLEPOST=1516223598,1516223315][/DOUBLEPOST]
I think because of Aussie having been active duty, and so many of my friends being connected with the military, having online friendships isn't seen as strange. We all keep in touch through FB or IG. Some people I still talk to belonged to three different military spouse/SO support boards I joined before getting married. The friend I wrote about in my post is someone I originally met in an online RPG over AOL. We happened to live relatively close to one another, met up, and we had friends of friends in our group IRL. So I totally agree. You guys are as real to me as anyone I've met face-to-face.
#10
Dave
Dave
#11
WasabiPoptart
WasabiPoptart
#12
Dei
p). And even when I hang out with other people, it's things like going to archery leagues or having D&D once a month if the stars align and no one cancels at the last minute.
Dei
I'm pretty sure I've spent more time playing video games with Gas and Terrik in the last few years than I've spent in the physical presence of other people, excepting the people who I'm forced to be around because they share a house with me
p). And even when I hang out with other people, it's things like going to archery leagues or having D&D once a month if the stars align and no one cancels at the last minute.
#13
Hailey Knight
Hailey Knight
#14
MindDetective
MindDetective
#15
WasabiPoptart
WasabiPoptart
#17
Bubble181
Bubble181
#19
Dave
Dave
#20
PatrThom
PatrThom
#21
Tiger Tsang
Tiger Tsang
I doubt he has any Red Ryders laying around.We don't need Odin, we have Odave!
Just watch out for your eye.
#22
Gruebeard
Gruebeard
Call me ThorbeardWe don't need Odin, we have Odave!
Just watch out for your eye.
#23
Celt Z
Sorry we're high-jacking your thread, @WasabiPoptart. But if my Hugs rating didn't express it, I agree with you and it's crappy your friend didn't have the wherewithal to at least check on you.
Celt Z
If you look like Chris Hemsworth, I will be calling, texting, AND Skyping!Call me Thorbeard
Sorry we're high-jacking your thread, @WasabiPoptart. But if my Hugs rating didn't express it, I agree with you and it's crappy your friend didn't have the wherewithal to at least check on you.
#24
Gruebeard
I do. And if you look like Taylor Swift I will take your calls and texts.
Gruebeard
If you look like Chris Hemsworth, I will be calling, texting, AND Skyping!
I do. And if you look like Taylor Swift I will take your calls and texts.
#25
Celt Z
Celt Z
Oh yeah, I got this!
I do. And if you look like Taylor Swift I will take your calls and texts.
#26
WasabiPoptart
WasabiPoptart
No worries. The thread is entertaining which is a great distraction.If you look like Chris Hemsworth, I will be calling, texting, AND Skyping!
Sorry we're high-jacking your thread, @WasabiPoptart. But if my Hugs rating didn't express it, I agree with you and it's crappy your friend didn't have the wherewithal to at least check on you.
#27
PatrThom
PatrThom