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No, I'm not joining the bandwagon. Instead, I'm going on safari in Africa, hunting the most dangerous predator of them all.

So ask away and get the answer you never knew you wanted.

What happened to my pajamas?

is it man?

Where do kidneys go when you die?

Rob King said:

What happened to my pajamas?

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I had this date once. This not quite hot, kinda crazy, and totally slutty chick hooked up at a bar early one afternoon. We were gonna go see The Nightmare Before Christmas after lunch.

So we ate lunch at the bar, drank some beer, and I listened to her recite some poetry. Ya gotta listen to chicks recite poetry if you wanna get laid. It's one of those things about dating that I don't like. Poetry sucks. Except Leonard Cohen. Cohen is awesome.

So after lunch and drinks we headed over to the cinema, walked on past it and entered another bar. We sat down at a table. We drank some more, ate some more, and put our hands down each others' pants. She wasn't wearing underwear.

After that, we headed on over to a strip club. It was her idea. I've tried to figure out how common it is to find a woman who likes poetry and strippers. Actually, I've searched in vain for a woman who likes strippers and hates poetry. I haven't found her yet, but when I do, that's the woman I'm gonna marry.

We got kicked out of the strip club shortly after entering. Well, she got kicked out. I don't know why she got kicked out. There was a pretty hot stripper distracting me. y'know, it suddenly dawns on me that a stripper is a likely candidate for a woman who likes strippers but hates poetry. I may have to tour the strip clubs interviewing for the future Mrs. Gruebeard.

Back to the story. She got kicked out of the strip club, and I felt I had to follow her out. The most I'd get out of the pretty hot stripper was a lap dance, and I'd already invested a lot of poetry listening into my date; enough that I was prolly gonna get laid that night if I just tagged along with her.

And I certainly got some. We got kicked out of a cab for it, actually. I left your pajamas in the cab. Sorry.

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Allen said:

is it man?

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Poetry is the bane of masculinity

---------- Post added at 01:25 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:24 AM ----------

hylian said:

Where do kidneys go when you die?

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Beans are a magical fruit. They are especially tasty in a spicy chili

I accidentally a whole meme am I gonna die?

-Adam

stienman said:

I accidentally a whole meme am I gonna die?

-Adam

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My memory is muddy. There was wind, rain, lions prowling. The elephant gun in my hand felt like a feather in my hand. The crossbow on my back weighed me down like I was Atlas. I will not lie to you: I was scared. You see, a dragonfly breathes fire, it's not good to get too close.

I was close. Too close. I could smell fire and brimstone, the Hellish aura of the great beast. I could sense the cold fingers of death clawing out towards me. I might just need a rocket launcher. Oh, if I had a rocket launcher.

Will the silver blooded monkeys kill me on my funeral day?

What is the purpose of meaning?

How many do you want?

If I show you mine, will you show me yours?

How many frying pans does it take to paint those yellow lines on the road?

What's the difference between an orange?

So, whaddya figure, mine is bigger?

hylian said:

Will the silver blooded monkeys kill me on my funeral day?

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Feburary 14, 1976. The day I was born.

mr_thehun said:

What is the secret of monkey island?

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May 17, 1994. The night I lost my virginity to Jenny

North_Ranger said:

What is the purpose of meaning?

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May 17, 1994. The night I discovered the purpose of being.

Laurelai said:

How many do you want?

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May 17, 1994. I started with Jenny. I want as many as I can have

Shakey said:

If I show you mine, will you show me yours?

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May 17, 1994. The night began with Jenny asking the same.

BlackCrossCrusader said:

So, whaddya figure, mine is bigger?

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May 17, 1994. Later, my buddy Rick asked Jenny that question. Her answer flattered me.

Rob King said:

How many frying pans does it take to paint those yellow lines on the road?

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May 18, 1994. In the morning, I poached eggs in a frying pan. With the yolks we painted the lines of the roads crossing my model railroad.

Why did seven eat nine?

Why be ye not in the hold, at yer station? The pirate zombie rats are gettin' in me rum.

TwoBit said:

Why did seven eat nine?

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There's this weird idea among script writers that skinny blondes appeal to both men and women. In recent times, such blondes are often cast as bisexual sex maniacs who dive into 3somes like I dive into swimming pools. There's a scar on my leg from a swimming pool accident. There's also a scar on my forehead where I was hit by a dinner plate in a swimming pool. Yes, for some stupid high school logical reason, we were playing frisbee with dinner plates in the swimming pool.

North_Ranger said:

Why be ye not in the hold, at yer station? The pirate zombie rats are gettin' in me rum.

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I assure you that there are no rats getting in your rum. They are too tasty. Your rum is disappearing because I am concerned about your drinking, and so I keep dumping it overboard.


. . .


Yarrr!

Will the dragons kill the past?

Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.

hylian said:

Will the dragons kill the past?

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I spent a year in Nairobi drinking, whoring, and going broke. Dragons were involved. I can't remember any of it that wasn't captured in photographs and videotape.