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My grandma's about to die. The doctor says it's really inevitable at this point and she's pretty much just connected waiting for my last uncle to arrive. She won't be conscious again, though.

It's the first grandparent I've lost in 25 years. I know, it's lucky to have 4 grandparents until you're 25, but it also means you're not really used to people close to you dying until it happens.

I'm at the hospital just... trying to distract myself. I can't believe all we can do is just... sit here... while my grandma just... isn't really here anymore. I feel sad but numb and like... it's so surreal.

I don't even know why I'm posting I just need to do SOMETHING and the hospital has twitter.com blocked so I can't even work. (just bitch at Morphine via TweetDeck, heh)

It's going to feel that way for a while until the reality of it all just finally hits you. I'm sorry you're having to suffer through this, it's never easy to watch a loved one pass on. Be strong, my man.

well.... Think of it this way. Your grandmother has live a long fruitful life. She is off to another adventure that you can't go right now, but maybe much later.

Losing my Grandma when I was 14 was really, really rough. You have my sympathies Comenayaaaayha.

I wish I could think that way, Chibi. I really do. But I don't. I don't believe there's an afterlife whatsoever.

This conflict hit me much harder when a close friend of mine died in April. It hit me so hard I didn't even post about it, using the forum only as a distraction.

This time, though? This time I'm about ready to break down and start punching doctors or something.

I'm sorry for your loss, Calleja. I was very close to my maternal grandparents. My grandmom died of cancer and it was "inevitable" that she would die. That didn't make it hurt less. Just remember it's ok to scream, cry, and be angry. Let your family and your good memories of her be a comfort to you if you can. :hug:

Calleja said:

I wish I could think that way, Chibi. I really do. But I don't. I don't believe there's an afterlife whatsoever.

This conflict hit me much harder when a close friend of mine died in April. It hit me so hard I didn't even post about it, using the forum only as a distraction.

This time, though? This time I'm about ready to break down and start punching doctors or something.

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sorry to hear that mate. That is how I manage not to break down when my real father pass away at 12, my grandfather at 18, my g/f at 20, my grandmother at 22 and possible my other grandmother at 37

I'm sitting at the floor leaning against the wall cause it's the only way I could both get Wifi and connect my laptop to the power grid.

I'm wearing flip flops, so obviously they're off. A little kid was walking around where I am with her mom and a nurse, connected to an IV tree that has like 4 bags and a couple of bottles... I hope it's not chemo or something like that... the kid looks heatlhy albeit uncomfortable and scared....

Any way, as he was walking by he caught a glimpse of my foot... the one that still has "Andy" scribbled on it. He pointed and laughed and said "look mom! just like woody!" He came over and had a giggle... her mother gave me the most grateful look, the kid had been depressed all day and nothing had cheered him up until he saw my foot, she said.

I feel much better now. That was a pretty great moment to be alive.

Aww. My condolences Calleja.

Nurses' uniforms in real life are not sexy at all... quite the contrary, even , I'd say.

Where did the "sexy nurse" trope come from anyway? Nightingale syndrome?

I know how you feel man. I had all 4 grandparents into my 30's and then in the span of about four years they all passed. My paternal grandfather was the hardest as I was closest to him and he was the last one to go. They were all in their late eighties and nineties.

Hang in there as it's never easy to lose a loved one no matter the cause.

Peace.

I will save a couple of my best hugs for the next time I see you.
Even with your ranting and bitching.
That's how much I care about you.

My condolences Calleja

Congrats for letting a moment of silliness cheer up a scared, sick little kid.

Condolences for the rest of your situation. I've been there, and it's not fun. I can't really offer anything but support, but know that you have that right now, amigo

I'm sorry man. At least you'll be able to be with her. When my great-aunt died I was all the way across the Pacific in Korea.

I lost my uncle about 3-4 weeks back, so I hear where your coming from. Hope you can get through this man.

Dude, your grandmas dying. Get the fuck off the internet! And my condolences! I'm not trying to be a smartass, just get the fuck lost and be with your family.

Hey man, sorry to hear this is happening to you and your family. I'll be keeping your family in my thoughts prayers Mex.

Hey Mex, hang in there. It's a tough time and you and your family have my thoughts and well wishes.

So sorry. I lost one grandparent at age 5. It's really hard saying goodbye... that's about all I can say about it. I'm so sorry, Calleja. :hug:

*Hugs the Calleja*

My two grandfathers passed away a few years before I was born. But a few years ago my grandmother died ... the first person close to me who I've ever lost. I still remember what I was doing when she passed away. I wasn't in the room, but I was out in the lounge reading for a class. It's so strange to think back to now.

I'm sure you'll get through it. It sucks, I know, and I also know that there's not a whole lot that can be said. But you know that your internet family is here for you if you if you need us at times like these, if you need to rant or complain or tell stories or hear jokes. I'm sure nobody will even mind if you ramble on about the Beatles

Calleja, I feel your pain. I myself have only one living grandparent alive - my paternal grandpa - but due to Alzheimer he is little more than a wrinkly old baby with a ten-second memory. I lost one grandparent 15 years before my birth, I was a little too young to get death when my maternal grandma died... but I remember my paternal grandma dying, three years back. It was cancer for her, too... In a way I was relieved to hear she had passed on, the last months had been painful for her.

Sorry, got personal there... the point is, there hardly are words that can make it all better, but just remember her. As long as you remember her, she'll always be with you.

Stay strong, Fernando. And for once I agree with Shark Alarm: go be with your family. They need you more than we do. We'll be here...

¡Ánimo, Fernando! Mi abuelo murió hará unas tres semanas... y no es una fiesta, eso está claro. Pero lo importante es no dejarse vencer por la pena y estar jutno a seres queridos, de la familia o no, para darse apoyo y cariño. ¡Adelante!

Stay strong Calleja.

Another hug for you, hope you are doing okay. :hug:

Ánimo.

I know that you won't see this until you come back here, but my prayers are with you man. I know it's not easy going through something like this, I've lost all my grandparents, last one when I was about 35 or so. It wasn't easy, but it is something that as memories are shared and the healing begins will not be as bad as it is at this moment. I doubt that she would want to to remember her as she was in the last days, but remember her as the active, vibrant woman that she was.

Man, I am really sorry to hear that. My grandmother was in the CCU and nearly died. I'm extremely close to her and, for the couple of days she hovered around death, I was absolutely distraught. While she's made a good recovery, a microvalve in her heart has failed. The pulmonary doctor said that it WILL cause her death within the next year or two...could be today, could be even longer than 2 years. Even though I know it's coming, it's incredibly hard to think about and acknowledge.

So, needless to say, my thoughts are definitely with you and your family.