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So I had a spare money and picked up a gift copy of Borderlands the Pre-Sequel. Soo....
One Paragraph story contest time!
I'll probably leave this thread open for two weeks since the game doesn't launch till October

Rules:
1. Write about anything as long as it is only one paragraph in length.
2. See Rule 1.
3. Give it a title!
4. Sad stuff makes me sad.
5. Post anonymously so it's all fair and square.
6. have fun!

Signs of Intelligent Life

Sarah White was an ordinary woman, who liked to share ordinary things. She'd pull out her phone, take a video, and upload it to the internet. Every day she did this, and the universe paid no mind. Until one day, by fluke of a random upload and satellite transmission, her video of a cat in a sweater became the most important transmission in all of human existence. A passing alien spacecraft, deciding if humanity was ready to become a larger player in the universe as a whole, intercepted this very transmission, and watched as all of human existence was summed up in this video. That such joy and deep meaning could be found in a lesser species, a simple feline in a sweater, moved the aliens. They were touched by the reaction it garnered, and began to feel strange feelings for these little earthlings that they had previously thought so little of. But then they noticed the video had been shot in portrait orientation instead of landscape, and decided to destroy the earth instead.

Looking like an easy won so far for the only poster here

Promises.

It wouldn't be long now. He could feel the cold hands of certainty reach out to cradle him. Of course, he had lived a long, long, time, and had had many, many days to consider what he had done. Was it worth it? Of course, he'd tell himself. Of course. What is one life, compared to the rest? Such hollow rationalizations were all he had left, whenever he would work up the nerve to go visit the orphan he had made. That duty was an anchor around his soul, but he never shirked, for he was an honorable man who would keep to his word. His word. Small solace that, but he clung to it after everything else around him faded away. Well, not everything. The sword had remained. He had kept it, despite everything. The promise of that keen edge might have gone unfulfilled, but the memory of that day was sharper still, and had cut true. Well, the time for regrets was now over. Slowly, slowly, his heart fluttered to a stop. His eyes glazed over, and with his last breath, he whispered those words one last time: better Nate than lever.

This actually happened.

I had been dating a girl, we'll call her Maria, for a little over a year after graduating high school. One day a car ran over her yorkie while she was at work and I was at her house. So I cleaned up the dog so she could say goodbye, and prepared a hole in my back yard for it. Maria was really bummed about it for a few weeks afterwards, and decided she wanted another dog. We looked around a few animal shelters without finding a dog she liked. One day we're driving home and this black lab puppy, it couldn't have been more than a month old, crawled out of the ditch and next to my car while i'm at a stop sign So we pick it up and look for the owners with no luck. So she gets her new dog. Fast forward a few months the dog is about 25 pounds, and I am staying the night at her house. In the morning a friend gives me a call because his car broke down and he needs a ride. So I'm standing there naked talking on the phone tapping my foot when this dog comes running up for play time. What I failed to notice is that when tapping my foot certain parts of my body share the motion. I found out about that detail as I was hanging up the phone. Like the fisherman in the cool morning I got a bite and my catch was now hanging from my rod. Unlike the fisherman that bite damaged my rod and is still visible to this day. Maria awoke to see this and burst into tears apologizing for what her dog had done...long story not short she cared as much for the crown jewels as I did. We've been married 6 years now

I see now that I overlooked the anonymous button. Sorry, it was my first post and this is my second.

Anonymous said:

I see now that I overlooked the anonymous button. Sorry, it was my first post and this is my second.

Click to expand...

lol

One Afternoon

She and he sat awkwardly in the dark afternoon apartment. It was the weird kind of dark lent by old forest colored furniture warring against the bright piercing summer sunlight from the windows. You could smell it even without a nose, and they sat there in the faux forest, thick in the smell of varnish and leather. He got up and walked to the record player, each footfall thunderous. He lavished over the surreal art of the covers, and selected one. If each play dug the needle into the vinyl just a little further, then this one was an onion skin, he would wager. The hiss of dust, and the music played. "I...", he turned and said, and paused. "There are so many words people say. So much poetry, so many metaphors. I tried to find the right one. But, the only thing that seemed right to say was 'I love you'. I. Love. You. Everyday, those words get older and duller, but right now, I get to say it for the first time, and every part of it is true and sharp and full. I love you."

Oh but you gotta love the user name!

Cannot edit but the title is just "One Afternoon".

I kinda want to see his deformed dog bitten penis

Also that was beautiful, anon

Okay, I've TRIED to do this anonymously. I really have. I even made a new account called fakeDave and tried, but it still won't let me post anonymously. Something in my system prevents it. So while I think it precludes me from winning now...

Under an Alabaster Moon

We came together in the early morning darkness, standing together for the briefest of moments before we spun away, dancing. Our feet shedding drops of dew as we leaped from stem to stalk to leaf to petal, all the while in perfect synchronicity. At last we stopped face to face, our breaths little clouds of mist. She kissed me then, light as a breeze on my skin before running away as the first light of dawn chased us back to our slumber. We would dance again, I knew, under an alabaster moon.

Dave... Was that a wet dream you had?

Haha whoever wrote Promises I just saw that. Awesome

The rain fell on her face, which she did not mind, as maybe it would mask the fact that she was crying. The last thing she wanted, was for him to think she felt sorry for herself. His bag was packed, and the cab was waiting. He kept talking as they stood on the driveway together. He could have said anything, but she knew it didn't matter. It could be anything, but it was almost certainly something hurtful...and something true. She went to hug him, hoping to be reminded one final time of his warmth, his closeness, and his strong embrace. The only thing he reciprocated with was a cold, callous pat on the shoulder. "I loved you," he said as the rain was letting up. "You need to know two things. First, I forgive you." This didn't make her feel any better. The relief that she thought forgiveness would bring, was replaced by what felt like a car being placed on her chest when he said next, "and you need to know, that I am going to forget you." The rain had stopped. His face was wet. Their flame had been extinguished.

Oh, let's title that last one

Rain

Oh shit. Burn!

Less than a week to go!

Just like a Juice Box

"Some of that stuff is just pure myth..." the raven haired woman said as she rummaged in her little wooden box. "Stuff made up by villagers... stuff made up by the novelists... even Hollywood's taken a stab at it. Tried to make it more romantic." She sighed and pulled out a small needle, some rubbing alcohol, gauze, and medical tape. She continued to talk as she laid out her supplies. "They did hit a few nails on the head though. Mind control? A little... you'd be surprised how easy it is to get people here for this with just a few words... people like you." She began to rub my arm with the alcohol wipe, being as thorough as she could in her haste. It'd been so long... she could barely contain herself at this point. "And the teeth? I have them, but it's still a tooth... one of these pierces the skin and you'll be feeling it for weeks... and that's if you don't get an infection..." she said as she readied the needle. "No... this is how we do it now. You have good veins, so this is easy." The needle pierced my arm and the red river began to flow free. "They got THIS part right though..." she smirked, smiling as her mouth went for her ruby prize.

This is old, but I like it. More of a painting than a story.

City Apartment

City apartment. Night. Hot. Small. Red light at the open window through a lacy curtain waving in the lank breeze. Saturday night. There's some music from the street below. The red light on the curtain turns blue, then purple, and back to red. It's hot enough that women install themselves in windows in underwear, and make men even hotter without even trying. The heat is still and full and gives way to a stuttering night rain. The lights run from their poles in puddles on the street, and people below step in the lights and carry them away in ripples on their feet. The music below wars with our tinny clock radio, a curious relic singing with a scratchy old throat. The low yellow wattage of the studio kitchen’s range light extrudes through brittle, yellower plastic and paints us on the far side of the Josephian light from the window. There is a creaky, lived-in bed here, with a cotton old-fashioned spread on top. A thrift store trunk curls up sleeping at the foot of the bed–the kind that is known to move into stealthy positions of sabotage in the small hours of night. It carries the marks of kneecaps like WWII fighter planes. You sit on the edge of the bed with me, and we wear only the multicolored plaid of the lights. You smell slightly of sweat, but I don't care.

Tim’s eyes snapped open as he heard the barking of a dog in the distance. The park retained its summer luster, but a chill ran through his body. He thought of the young woman, representative of all young women, dancing hypnotically in the night club. He thought of Julie, and the slow waltz that they danced on the night that he first met. He again felt his limbs heavy with age and regret. Last he had heard, Julie was happy and living with a boyfriend in some other state. He never saw her again. Deep down, he was happy that Julie was able to find someone who could give her what she deserved, someone who could be sated in a way that Tim never could. He looked back over at the statue and started to notice that it was part of a larger set of statues. They lined the edge of the park. Each was modeled after a character in Alice in Wonderland. He’d always loved that book. Tim raised himself painfully off of the bench that he had been sitting on and made his way over to the statue that he had been looking at. As he approached, he noticed that it was a representation of the Mock Turtle. He stooped down to read the plague at the foot of the statue.
“’What matters it how far we go?’ his scaly friend replied
‘There is another shore, you know, upon the other side.
The further off from England the nearer is to France --
Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?’” – Lewis Carroll*
He smiled sadly and turned to go home. As he walked, he slowly started to sway from side to side, dancing to music that only he could hear.

forgot to add the title for the post above.

the title is Dance Lessons

The secret itself is unimportant. That she held onto it for decades, protected it, nursed it, worried endlessly over it. It was now a part of her, though, truthfully, it didn't belong to her. No, this was someone else's secret. A piece of information that he was frustratingly unaware of. Achingly he longed to put to rest an incident in his youth, but the result was unknown to him. He dare not ask, for fear the truth would be as bad as he believed it to be, fear that bringing it up would rekindle fires hopefully long since extinguished. Yet the mind, in its unfathomable ways, turned again and again to remind him. She knew how he longed for the secret knowledge she held. While she knew he was in pain, she was still, yet, unsatisfied. He did not know to whom he owed the continued pain - no doubt the pain's source was his youthful error, but the unending, aching regret - this was her doing. She placed the note in the casket, tears coursing down her cheeks. Someone moved to comfort her, but there is no comfort for unrequited vengeance.

Todays the last day probably tomorrow at around 2 or 3 PM CST I'll be closing the contest and deciding the wiener!

All these Johnny Come Latelys... I liked my odds better in the beginning.

Anonymous said:

All these Johnny Come Latelys... I liked my odds better in the beginning.

Click to expand...

Don't worry, the fix is in, anonymous is going to win.

annnnddddddd That's it. give me a bit to pick out the weiners and losers

I think anonymous was clearly the best.

Signs of Intelligent Life - You get points for being the first poster yay! I also love the twist ending.

Promises - Better Nate than lever... really....

This actually happened - I really wanted you to win, but my conscious got the better of me because after reading the story I know you irl and if I gave you the win I'd be cheating everyone else

One Afternoon - I like this one, I don't think people say I love you enough personally

Under an Alabaster Moon - Dave had a wet dream.

Rain - That was harsh. I'm going to forget you. I like it.

Just like a Juice Box - Vampires... huh...

City Apartment - I'm not sure what I think about this one.. it's interesting.

Dance Lessons - ah huh...

The Secret - Dang..

Drum roll please!



Without further ado....

The Winner is.....

Rain!

I actually had a hard time deciding between Rain and two others, but hey. Someone has to win.

I was the poster of Intelligent Life. You just lost out on your chance to be bribed with earn Poe Points, which are acceptable as cash everywhere Poe Points are accepted.*


*they aren't accepted anywhere.

Ravenpoe said:

I was the poster of Intelligent Life. You just lost out on your chance to be bribed with earn Poe Points, which are acceptable as cash everywhere Poe Points are accepted.*


*they aren't accepted anywhere.

Click to expand...

On the bright side, you were one of the two others

CrimsonSoul said:

On the bright side, you were one of the two others

Click to expand...

Ravenpoe said:

Click to expand...

You just shake and baked the person that won, that's all

Congrats, whoever you are!

Mine was Dance Lessons. Not sure how to interpret crimsonsoul's response to it.

Aww, I really thought City Apartment was one of the best snippets I ever wrote. A friend of mine who is my editor for Fade and I toyed with the idea, after the popularity of 50 Shades of Grey, of writing Erotica that Doesn't Suck (tm). I also submitted One Afternoon.

Bowielee said:

Mine was Dance Lessons. Not sure how to interpret crimsonsoul's response to it.

Click to expand...

I'm in the same boat with mine.

I'm not a fan of erotica

You guys... You guys are making me feel like an asshole

I think giving responses was a bad idea, if you weren't really going to elaborate on those responses.

That said, I think the contest itself was fair.

I just want to know what the super ambiguous feedback means... I get the impression that it means "this sucks bigtime".[DOUBLEPOST=1412202016,1412201801][/DOUBLEPOST]I was super lazy and used the end of a larger story I'd written, so I totally understand if it's not received well. At least I genderswapped so it wasn't super apparent it was mine

Yours, Bow, I didn't entirely "get"

CrimsonSoul said:

You guys... You guys are making me feel like an asshole

Click to expand...

? I think people were just unclear of your responses. I don't care that you didn't choose mine. Just claiming it and saying I liked it anyway.

Ok, just so you guys know, @Bumble the Boy Wonder is the one who won

And I still liked mine and thought if I'd have been able to post anonymously it had a chance.

Dave said:

And I still liked mine and thought if I'd have been able to post anonymously it had a chance.

Click to expand...

you would have, but I knew who you were

We'll I don't know what your guys' problem is. I think this was a fantastic contest that ended wonderfully. Thanks @CrimsonSoul !

I don't in any way think that I should have won.

Hey bumble I'm at work now but if you accept my friend request on steam I'll toss it to you when I get home in the morning

I'm not really mad I lost, especially since my story was literally written in under 3 minutes, just for the off chance of "Maybe no one else will enter."

For awhile, it was working.

Lol

@Bumble the Boy Wonder accept my steam friend request

CrimsonSoul said:

@Bumble the Boy Wonder accept my steam friend request

Click to expand...

I think him not doing this is a clear sign he forfeits. Better move to the next in line.

@Bumble the Boy Wonder, you are C.Steemer, tight?

Yeah, sorry, I haven't been home. Let me go log on now. What's your name going to be @CrimsonSoul

Yay! I didn't enter, and I didn't win!
Everything is going according to plan.

--Patrick