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Confuse Google Ads
#1
Cuyval Dar
Cuyval Dar
Just post the most inane shit you can think of, and report what the ad is for you.
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#2
strawman
strawman
PCB, CAD, CAM, GERBER
That ought to get something interesting.
-Adam
That ought to get something interesting.
-Adam
#3
Cuyval Dar
Cuyval Dar
Cruised into a bar on the shore
Her picture graced the grime on the door
She a long lost love at first bite
Baby maybe you're wrong, but you know it's all right
That's right
(That, that)
(That, that)
Backstage we're having the time
Of our lives until somebody say
Forgive me if I seem out of line
Then she whipped out her gun
And tried to blow me away
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
So never judge a book by it's cover
Or who you're going to love by your lover
Love put me wise to her love in disguise
She had the body of a venus
Lord imagine my surprise
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
Baby let me follow you down
Let me take a peek dear
Baby let me follow you down
Do me, do me, do me all night
Baby let me follow you down
Turn the other cheek dear
Baby let me follow you down
Do me, do me, do me, do me
(Guitar solo)
Ooh what a funky lady
She like it, like it, like it, like that,
Ooh he was a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Her picture graced the grime on the door
She a long lost love at first bite
Baby maybe you're wrong, but you know it's all right
That's right
(That, that)
(That, that)
Backstage we're having the time
Of our lives until somebody say
Forgive me if I seem out of line
Then she whipped out her gun
And tried to blow me away
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
So never judge a book by it's cover
Or who you're going to love by your lover
Love put me wise to her love in disguise
She had the body of a venus
Lord imagine my surprise
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
Baby let me follow you down
Let me take a peek dear
Baby let me follow you down
Do me, do me, do me all night
Baby let me follow you down
Turn the other cheek dear
Baby let me follow you down
Do me, do me, do me, do me
(Guitar solo)
Ooh what a funky lady
She like it, like it, like it, like that,
Ooh he was a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
(That, that) Dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady
#4
Cat
Cat
I didn't believe in ghosts until I was 9. I thought it was just stuff adults made up to scare us. I grew up in south Florida and although most of the buildings and houses there are pretty new, there are a few older places like St. Augustine, which is actually one of the earliest U.S. cities. My uncle had a place there that supposedly was built in the late 17th century. It almost became a historical landmark before my uncle bought it.
My brother and I stayed there one summer and it was probably one of the creepiest times of my life. Every night, my brother and I would hear moaning coming from outside the door (he and I stayed in the same room), and sometimes we'd wake up in the morning and there would be handprints on the door inside the room, even though we would lock it.
One night about 3 weeks into the summer, things changed for the worst. My brother passed out early from fishing all day, but I somehow worked up the nerve to see if I could actually see the ghost. When I heard the moaning, I tried to sneak the door open so I could "catch" the ghost, but when I opened it up, nothing was there. I decided it might be better if I pretended to be asleep, so I got into bed and hid under the covers.
Sure enough, about fifteen minutes later I saw the sliding glass door ease open and a figure came in. I couldn't tell if it was floating or not, but it kinda made its way over to the bed. I started freaking out, but I knew I had to keep pretending I was asleep to make sure I didn't scare the ghost away before I could get a closer look.
As I laid there, the ghost bent over and slowly pulled the sheets down. I cracked my eyes open and couldn't believe what I was seeing. The ghost looked just like my uncle. It must have been an ancient dead relative of his. As I kept my charade up, the ghost reached into my shorts and started touching my thighs, working its dead hands up my legs until finally his cold, clammy hands wrapped around my tiny unit and tugged on it until I got an erection. I was so terrified of the ghost that I just sat there and took it without making a move. This probably happened about 60-70 times during the summer. Each time I was too terrified to move, although a couple nights I accidentally moaned out of fear.
To this day, I'm scared to death of ghosts and I wish I could get the guts to tell my uncle to get the hell out of his house before something terrible happens to him.
My brother and I stayed there one summer and it was probably one of the creepiest times of my life. Every night, my brother and I would hear moaning coming from outside the door (he and I stayed in the same room), and sometimes we'd wake up in the morning and there would be handprints on the door inside the room, even though we would lock it.
One night about 3 weeks into the summer, things changed for the worst. My brother passed out early from fishing all day, but I somehow worked up the nerve to see if I could actually see the ghost. When I heard the moaning, I tried to sneak the door open so I could "catch" the ghost, but when I opened it up, nothing was there. I decided it might be better if I pretended to be asleep, so I got into bed and hid under the covers.
Sure enough, about fifteen minutes later I saw the sliding glass door ease open and a figure came in. I couldn't tell if it was floating or not, but it kinda made its way over to the bed. I started freaking out, but I knew I had to keep pretending I was asleep to make sure I didn't scare the ghost away before I could get a closer look.
As I laid there, the ghost bent over and slowly pulled the sheets down. I cracked my eyes open and couldn't believe what I was seeing. The ghost looked just like my uncle. It must have been an ancient dead relative of his. As I kept my charade up, the ghost reached into my shorts and started touching my thighs, working its dead hands up my legs until finally his cold, clammy hands wrapped around my tiny unit and tugged on it until I got an erection. I was so terrified of the ghost that I just sat there and took it without making a move. This probably happened about 60-70 times during the summer. Each time I was too terrified to move, although a couple nights I accidentally moaned out of fear.
To this day, I'm scared to death of ghosts and I wish I could get the guts to tell my uncle to get the hell out of his house before something terrible happens to him.
#5
figmentPez
figmentPez
OH NOEZ! The ads! They are stealing our link juice! They are in our internets, stealing our page rank!
#6
Cuyval Dar
Cuyval Dar
sonuvabitch, i almost had a seizure from the link in your sig.
---------- Post added at 08:54 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:53 PM ----------
---------- Post added at 08:54 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:53 PM ----------
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#7
Cat
Cat
Yeah I should have put a warning around that.
#8
strawman
strawman
Alien Abductions
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Abduction Check List
ABDUCTION "CHECKLIST"
Abduction "Checklist"//Are Aliens Negative From Our Point-Of View?
If "abduction" reports can be believed--and there is no reason to doubt the honesty of the reporters--the abduction phenomenon includes the following details:
1) Aliens can alter our perception of our surroundings.
2) Aliens can control what we think we see. They can appear to us in any number of guises, and shapes.
3) Aliens can take us--our consciousness--out of our physical bodies, disable our control of our bodies, install one of their own entities, and use our bodies as vehicles for their own activities before returning our consciousness to our bodies.
4) Aliens can be present with us in an invisible state and can make themselves only partially visible.
5) Abductees receive marks on their bodies other than the well-known scoops and straight-line scars. These other marks include single punctures, multiple punctures, large bruises, three- and four-fingered claw marks, and triangles of every possible sort.
6) Females abductees often suffer serious gynecological problems after their alien encounters, and sometimes these problems lead to cysts, tumors, cancer of the breasts and uterus, and to hysterectomies.
7) Aliens take body fluids from our necks, spines, blood veins, joints such as knees and wrists, and other places. They also inject unknown fluids into various parts of our bodies.
8) A surprising number of abductees suffer from serious illnesses they didn't have before their encounters. These have led to surgery, debilitation, and even death from causes the doctors can't identify.
9) Some abductees experience a degeneration of their mental, social, and spiritual well-being. Excessive behavior frequently erupts, such as drug abuse, alcoholism, overeating, and promiscuity. Strange obsessions develop and cause the disruption of normal life and the destruction of personal relationships.
10) Aliens show a great interest in adult sexuality, child sexuality, and in inflicting physical pain on abductees.
11) Abductees recall being instructed and trained by aliens. This training may be in the form of verbal or telepathic lessons, slide shows, or actual hands-on instruction in the operation of alien technology.
12) Abductees report being taken to facilities in which they encounter not only aliens but also normal-looking humans, sometimes in military uniforms, working with the alien captors.
13) Abductees often encounter more than one sort of alien during an experience, not just the grays. Every possible combination of gray, reptoid, insectoid, blond, and widow's peak have been seen during single abductions, aboard the same craft or in the same facility.
14) Abductees--"virgin" cases--report being taken to underground facilities where they see grotesque hybrid creatures, nurseries of hybrid humanoid fetuses, and vats of colored liquid filled with parts of human bodies.
15) Abductees report seeing other humans in these facilities being drained of blood, being mutilated, flayed, and dismembered, and stacked, lifeless like cords of wood. Some abductees have been threatened that they, too, will end up in this condition if they don't co-operate with their alien captors.
16) Aliens come into homes and temorary remove young children, leaving their distraught parents paralyzed and helpless. In cases where a parent has been able to protest, the aliens insist that "The children belong to us."
17) Aliens have forced ther human abductees to have sexual intercourse with aliens and even with other abductees while groups of aliens observe these performances. In such encounters, the aliens have sometimes disguised themselves in order to gain the cooperation of the abductee, appearing in such forms as Jesus, the Pope, certain celebrities, and even the dead spouses of the abductees.
18) Aliens perform extremely painful experiments or procedures on abductees, saying that these acts are necessary but give no explanation why.....Painful genital and anal probes are performed, on children as well as adults.
19) Aliens make predictions of an imminent period of global chaos and destruction. They say that a certain number of humans...will be "rescued" from the planet in order to continue the species, either on another planet or back on earth after the destruction is over. Many abductees report they don't believe their alien captors and foresee instead a much more sinister use of the "rescued" humans.
"In every instance from this list, there are multiple reports from unrelated cases, confirming that such bizzarre details are not the product of a single deranged mind. These details are convincing evidence that, contrary to the claims of many UFO researchers, the abduction experience isn't limited to uniform pattern of events. This phenomenon simply can't be explained in terms of cross- breeding experiments or scientific research into the human physiology....... Before we allow ourselves to believe in the benevolence of the alien interaction , we should ask, do enlightened beings need to use the cover of night to perform good deeds? Do they need to paralyze us and render us helpless to resist? Do angels need to steal our fetuses? Do they need to manipulate our children's genitals and probe our rectums? Are fear, pain, and deception consistent with high spiritual motives?"Ads I'm getting so far:
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-Adam
#9
Cat
Cat
Please don't waste my fucking time with endless emails. These are plain old cinderblocks, for fuck sake. You don't need to do an engineering study on the feasibility of using these fucking things as building material. That's what they're for, you fucking idiots. Now listen, we're all busy people here. You want the blocks? Come get the fucking blocks and give me one dollar for every block you take. How fucking hard is that? You don't have to tell me what you're building. I don't give a fuck. I'm not interested in helping you build it either. Why? Because I don't give a fuck. I just want to get these fucking things off my property. So if you want them, get the fuck over here with some money and take them. The next fucking moron that emails me with "I'm building a blah blah blah, and was wondering if..." The answer is NO. Come get the fucking blocks and build it yourself. If I knew how to do masonry, don't you think I'd be using the blocks myself instead of selling them for half fucking price? What the fuck is wrong with you people? The next one of you fucking jackasses that emails me with some sob-story bullshit is getting his email address added to the North American Man/Boy Love Association mailing list.
You want the blocks? Come get the blocks, and don't fuck with me!
You want the blocks? Come get the blocks, and don't fuck with me!
#10
General Specific
General Specific
My dad is Superman. No kidding. My mom told me this long boring story about how they met and at one point she felt this big gush of wind around her and Supes was all like, "Thanks for the quickie, see ya later!" and took off. I know it seems like he couldn't really be my dad, but then you'd have to explain my brother.
You would expect that being the son of Superman, I'd have all sorts of cool powers. I don't. I'm a normal person. My identical twin brother on the other hand can fly and is really strong and all the same stuff as Superman. It sucks.
My life has never been normal. My bro goes all super on me all the time. I'll make myself a sandwich for lunch and he'll suddenly walk in and be all, "Gimme your sandwich, bitch!" So, I do. I tried refusing once and he used his heat vision to melt my head. Then, he did the whole flying around the Earth to spin it backwards and turn back time. So my head unmelted and he came back in and made me give him his sandwich or he'd melt my head again. You'd think I wouldn't remember dying, but I do. You remember your brain leaking out of your ear. And let me tell you, it is not pleasant.
You would expect that being the son of Superman, I'd have all sorts of cool powers. I don't. I'm a normal person. My identical twin brother on the other hand can fly and is really strong and all the same stuff as Superman. It sucks.
My life has never been normal. My bro goes all super on me all the time. I'll make myself a sandwich for lunch and he'll suddenly walk in and be all, "Gimme your sandwich, bitch!" So, I do. I tried refusing once and he used his heat vision to melt my head. Then, he did the whole flying around the Earth to spin it backwards and turn back time. So my head unmelted and he came back in and made me give him his sandwich or he'd melt my head again. You'd think I wouldn't remember dying, but I do. You remember your brain leaking out of your ear. And let me tell you, it is not pleasant.
#11
Cuyval Dar
Cuyval Dar
This is great. It still has that Forum Posting Service.
Google Ads think we are retarded.
Google Ads think we are retarded.
#12
General Specific
General Specific
It's giving me sex offender research options. 
#13
Cuyval Dar
Cuyval Dar
I think that it is trying to tell you something about Shego and North Ranger.
#14
Cat
Cat
Eek, if you cycle through those ads you'll find
Sell your forum
Good price will be given for well-attended discussion fora
sites.google.com/site/buyfor
#15
Cuyval Dar
Cuyval Dar
We're rich!Eek, if you cycle through those ads you'll find
#16
Hylian
Hylian
The silver blooded snake will dance to the beat of the babies drum
#17
Cuyval Dar
Cuyval Dar
So, there's a man crawling through the desert....
#18
Cat
Cat
I'm not getting any variety from their ads elsewhere. Left my adblock off on another forum and saw
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#19
Hailey Knight
No. No. No. No. No.
Hailey Knight
No.So, there's a man crawling through the desert....
No. No. No. No. No.
#20
General Specific
General Specific
If you're canoeing through the desert and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes does it take to fix the shingles on a dog house?
None! Because ice cream doesn't have bones!
#21
Cuyval Dar
Cuyval Dar
That is weird. Maybe Google realized that we break their ads, so they just give us generic stuff.I'm not getting any variety from their ads elsewhere. Left my adblock off on another forum and saw
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www.premiercommunity.org.uk
#22
Hylian
Hylian
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#23
North_Ranger
North_Ranger
I'm getting free smilies at the moment.
...in the old forums I kept getting ads for dating gay men in the US Army
...in the old forums I kept getting ads for dating gay men in the US Army
#24
Hylian
Hylian
The dark and murky frog was suddenly chosen by the star of gas to go on a shopping spree for the moons daughter. The frog was quickly killed by rampaging ants durring his valiant struggle to get a box of sugar cookies for the moon. The moon later said that it didn't even like sugar cookies and presumed to mock the dead frog.
#25
Shegokigo
Shegokigo
Strange... that's all I'm getting too...It's giving me sex offender research options.
See above.I think that it is trying to tell you something about Shego and North Ranger.
#26
Hylian
Hylian
Right now I keep getting stock trading ads.
#27
Shegokigo
Shegokigo
Mine stays pretty consistant.
#28
Shakey
Shakey
Find a Lawyer - Free
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False Child Abuse Charges
Resource site for the falsely accused of child sexual abuse.
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False Child Abuse Charges
Resource site for the falsely accused of child sexual abuse.
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#29
Silvanesti
Silvanesti
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am fine today and how are you? I hope this letter will find you in the best of health. I am Prince Joe Eboh, the Chairman of the “Contract Award Committee”, of the “Niger Delta Development Commission (NDDC)”, a subsidiary of the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC).
The Niger Delta Development Commission (NDDC) was set up by the late Head of State, General Sani Abacha who died on 18th June 1998, to manage the excess revenue accruing from the sales of Petroleum and its allied products as a domestic increase in the petroleum products to develop the communities in the Niger Delta Oil producing areas. The estimated annual revenue for 1999 was $45 Billion US Dollars Ref. FMF A26 Unit 3B Paragraph “D” of the Auditor General of the Federal Republic of Nigeria Report of Nov. 1999 on estimated revenue.
I am the Chairman of the Contract Award Committee, and my committee is solely responsible for awaiting and paying of contracts on behalf of the Federal Government of Nigeria. My Committee Awarded Contracts to foreign contractors for Drilling and Ecological Matters in the oil producing areas of Niger Delta. We overshot the contract sum by US$25,000,000.00. We have paid the contractors and withholding the balance of US$25,000, 000.00. But, because of the existence of some of the domestic laws forbidding civil servants in Nigeria from opening, operating and maintaining foreign accounts, we do not have the expertise to transfer this balance of fund to a foreign account.
However, this balance of US$25,000, 000.00 has been secured in form of Credit/Payment to a foreign contractor, hence we wish to transfer into your bank account as the beneficiary of the fund. We have also arrived at a conclusion that you will be given 20% of the total sum transferred as our foreign partner, while 5% will be reserved for incidental expenses that both parties will incur in the course of actualizing this transaction, and the balance of 75% will be kept for the committee members.
If you know that you will be capable of helping us actualize this transaction, you should send to me immediately the details of your bank particulars or open a new bank account where we can transfer the money US$25,000, 000.00, which you will be holding in trust for us until we come to your country for our share. Your nature of business does not matter in this transaction. The required details includes your company’s name, address, your private personal telephone/fax numbers, your full name and address, including your complete bank details where the transferred fund will be routed by the Apex Bank.
Note that this transaction is expected to be actualized within 21 working days from the day the required details are forwarded to the Federal Ministry of Finance who will approve the needed foreign exchange control allocation for the release of this money to your account. Please, treat this as top secret. You should contact me urgently.
Thanks for your cooperation.
---------- Post added at 10:11 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:09 PM ----------
Doesn't look like there are any google adds anymore? Did we break it?
I am fine today and how are you? I hope this letter will find you in the best of health. I am Prince Joe Eboh, the Chairman of the “Contract Award Committee”, of the “Niger Delta Development Commission (NDDC)”, a subsidiary of the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC).
The Niger Delta Development Commission (NDDC) was set up by the late Head of State, General Sani Abacha who died on 18th June 1998, to manage the excess revenue accruing from the sales of Petroleum and its allied products as a domestic increase in the petroleum products to develop the communities in the Niger Delta Oil producing areas. The estimated annual revenue for 1999 was $45 Billion US Dollars Ref. FMF A26 Unit 3B Paragraph “D” of the Auditor General of the Federal Republic of Nigeria Report of Nov. 1999 on estimated revenue.
I am the Chairman of the Contract Award Committee, and my committee is solely responsible for awaiting and paying of contracts on behalf of the Federal Government of Nigeria. My Committee Awarded Contracts to foreign contractors for Drilling and Ecological Matters in the oil producing areas of Niger Delta. We overshot the contract sum by US$25,000,000.00. We have paid the contractors and withholding the balance of US$25,000, 000.00. But, because of the existence of some of the domestic laws forbidding civil servants in Nigeria from opening, operating and maintaining foreign accounts, we do not have the expertise to transfer this balance of fund to a foreign account.
However, this balance of US$25,000, 000.00 has been secured in form of Credit/Payment to a foreign contractor, hence we wish to transfer into your bank account as the beneficiary of the fund. We have also arrived at a conclusion that you will be given 20% of the total sum transferred as our foreign partner, while 5% will be reserved for incidental expenses that both parties will incur in the course of actualizing this transaction, and the balance of 75% will be kept for the committee members.
If you know that you will be capable of helping us actualize this transaction, you should send to me immediately the details of your bank particulars or open a new bank account where we can transfer the money US$25,000, 000.00, which you will be holding in trust for us until we come to your country for our share. Your nature of business does not matter in this transaction. The required details includes your company’s name, address, your private personal telephone/fax numbers, your full name and address, including your complete bank details where the transferred fund will be routed by the Apex Bank.
Note that this transaction is expected to be actualized within 21 working days from the day the required details are forwarded to the Federal Ministry of Finance who will approve the needed foreign exchange control allocation for the release of this money to your account. Please, treat this as top secret. You should contact me urgently.
Thanks for your cooperation.
---------- Post added at 10:11 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:09 PM ----------
Doesn't look like there are any google adds anymore? Did we break it?
#30
Hylian
Hylian
Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me
Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't comin' back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me
There's no place I can be
Since I found Serenity
But you can't take the sky from me...
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me
Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't comin' back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me
There's no place I can be
Since I found Serenity
But you can't take the sky from me...