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Dear Abby - 2/10
#1
David
David
http://www.pressofatlanticcity.com/life/article_8fc562c4-6056-5fea-8f49-072fb4cd9c93.html
Sentimental: I call shenanigans. I very clearly remember this being a short story I had to read in high school that you obviously plagiarized.
Sleepless: There's only one possible solution to this situation. Giant comical mallet to the alarm clock.
Damn, that was easy. I should start my own advice column!
Co-ed: purchase a kinky sex toy with your credit card and be sure it's blatantly clear on your bank statement. Your mother should stop wanting to look at your bank statements, as well as make eye contact with you, ever. Double win!Dear Abby: I am 20 and live most of the year on my college campus. I'm on a full scholarship, so my parents are not paying my tuition. Most of my mail - bank statements, etc. - still goes to my parents' house since I don't have a permanent address.
For the last two years, my mother has opened my bank statement and read the entire thing. She then calls me and goes through all of my card charges and checks, and asks me to explain where I was and what I bought.
I have tried telling her I am an adult and what I buy is my business, but she continues to do this every month. When I explained I am capable of managing my own finances, she told me she was just worried about me and \"a mother always has the right to worry about her only child.\"
I understand she will always be concerned about my well-being, financial and otherwise, but this is taking it too far. How can I explain to her it's not OK to invade my privacy? I know she means well, and I don't want to hurt her feelings, but it's really becoming a hassle. - College Co-ed in Williamsburg, Va.
Dear College Co-ed: A mother may always have the right to worry, but she does not always have the right to snoop. Because you have already tried explaining to her that you feel what she's doing is an invasion of privacy and the message isn't getting through, it's time for you to open a post office box near the campus and have your mail sent there. It can be forwarded to you if you go home for the summers.
Dear Abby: After my mother died two years ago, my sisters and I divided up her household items, parceling out equally objects of material and sentimental value. One item, which went to my younger sister, \"Beth,\" was a brightly colored handmade Native American rug our parents bought in the 1950s in Arizona. It had been displayed prominently for decades on a wall in the house where we three children grew up.
I visited Beth recently and was shocked to see she had taken the rug out of storage and was using it as a floor rug in her family room. I shuddered to think of the damage a daily trample by her three little kids, she and her husband and a sadly incontinent dog will do to this family treasure. I politely asked her to reconsider and find somewhere else to display it. If she couldn't, I offered to trade it for something of her choice from my parcel of the family possessions.
Beth took offense, reminding me it is, after all, a rug, and it now belongs to her. Emphasizing her small house has limited wall space, she implied I was trying to get the rug for myself. Am I wrong in thinking she should not trash this heirloom? - Sentimental in Hartford, Conn.
Dear Sentimental: The rug belongs to your sister, to do with as she pleases. However, her Native American rug purchased in the 1950s could be extremely valuable. Has your sister had it appraised? If not, I am urging you to tell her to have it done, because it could pay for a year or two of one of her children's college education.
Dear Abby: \"Katy\" and I are in a loving relationship but have an ongoing argument in our home. Katy always sets the alarm clock for an hour before it's time to get up - then hits the \"snooze\" button five times before actually dragging herself out of bed (which is usually even later).
Because I am a light sleeper, I'm forced to listen to the alarm clock and end up waking up earlier than I'd like. Can you please offer a solution? - Sleepless in South Carolina
Dear Sleepless: Earplugs for you, and a cold foot on the behind for Katy.
Sentimental: I call shenanigans. I very clearly remember this being a short story I had to read in high school that you obviously plagiarized.
Sleepless: There's only one possible solution to this situation. Giant comical mallet to the alarm clock.
Damn, that was easy. I should start my own advice column!
#2
Covar
Covar
paperless bank statements. It's 2010.
#3
Dave
Dave
People still read Dear Abby?
Although I will admit I almost started an "Ask Dave" sub board where you could log in as a guest and post questions anonymously...
Although I will admit I almost started an "Ask Dave" sub board where you could log in as a guest and post questions anonymously...
#4
phil
phil
DEAR ABBY,
I have a problem that would be easily solved with either direct, yet polite confrontation or simple action on my part. Even if they don't get solved, it's not that much of a problem anyway. What should I do?
--- Hopeless in San Marcos.
I have a problem that would be easily solved with either direct, yet polite confrontation or simple action on my part. Even if they don't get solved, it's not that much of a problem anyway. What should I do?
--- Hopeless in San Marcos.
#5
David
David
The very first forum I became a regular part of was the Dear Abby discussion board on Yahoo, right before Yahoo changed their comment system and became a giant spam/troll haven. It mostly consisted of a bunch of 40-year-old ladies.
#6
Dave
Invest hundreds of dollars in purchasing various spy equipment and follow/spy on the other party. Once you have some dirt on them simply present it to them and express the need to get your way or you will go public with the knowledge. If they refuse, go public in the most hurtful way possible. Like to their work and parents. Watch as they shed delicious tears.
Please note that in the past I've told people to simply cut their throats and leave them in a growing pool of their own blood. But I gave that advice to OJ Simpson and it kind of backfired on me.
Dave
Dear Hopeless,DEAR ABBY,
I have a problem that would be easily solved with either direct, yet polite confrontation or simple action on my part. Even if they don't get solved, it's not that much of a problem anyway. What should I do?
--- Hopeless in San Marcos.
Invest hundreds of dollars in purchasing various spy equipment and follow/spy on the other party. Once you have some dirt on them simply present it to them and express the need to get your way or you will go public with the knowledge. If they refuse, go public in the most hurtful way possible. Like to their work and parents. Watch as they shed delicious tears.
Please note that in the past I've told people to simply cut their throats and leave them in a growing pool of their own blood. But I gave that advice to OJ Simpson and it kind of backfired on me.
#7
David
The source of your troubles is that you are a man and therefor always wrong. Also, you should purchase one of my various $15 pamphlets.
XOXOXO,
Abby
David
Dear Hopeless,DEAR ABBY,
I have a problem that would be easily solved with either direct, yet polite confrontation or simple action on my part. Even if they don't get solved, it's not that much of a problem anyway. What should I do?
--- Hopeless in San Marcos.
The source of your troubles is that you are a man and therefor always wrong. Also, you should purchase one of my various $15 pamphlets.
XOXOXO,
Abby
#8
phil
phil
Dear Abby,
I've placed a bomb somewhere in the city and will detonate at noon tomorrow unless you can answer my riddle.
I come in different shapes and sizes. Part of me are curves, others are straight. You can put me anywhere you like, but there is only one right place for me.
What am I?
Your move, Abby. Your move.
--- Captain Hatred
P.S. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I've placed a bomb somewhere in the city and will detonate at noon tomorrow unless you can answer my riddle.
I come in different shapes and sizes. Part of me are curves, others are straight. You can put me anywhere you like, but there is only one right place for me.
What am I?
Your move, Abby. Your move.
--- Captain Hatred
P.S. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
#9
Dave
You are a puzzle piece. Also, you seem to be a terrible super villain. I'd either get help or better riddles.
Dave
Dear Captain Hatred,Dear Abby,
I've placed a bomb somewhere in the city and will detonate at noon tomorrow unless you can answer my riddle.
I come in different shapes and sizes. Part of me are curves, others are straight. You can put me anywhere you like, but there is only one right place for me.
What am I?
Your move, Abby. Your move.
--- Captain Hatred
P.S. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You are a puzzle piece. Also, you seem to be a terrible super villain. I'd either get help or better riddles.
#10
phil
phil
CURSE YOU ABBY!
CURRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEE YOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
CURRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEE YOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
#11
SpecialKO
EDIT: DOH!! Damn yooooouuuuu, ABBY!
SpecialKO
What a puzzling riddle. It has robbed me of my piece of mind. I shall be up all night trying to fit it all together.Dear Abby,
I've placed a bomb somewhere in the city and will detonate at noon tomorrow unless you can answer my riddle.
I come in different shapes and sizes. Part of me are curves, others are straight. You can put me anywhere you like, but there is only one right place for me.
What am I?
Your move, Abby. Your move.
--- Captain Hatred
P.S. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
EDIT: DOH!! Damn yooooouuuuu, ABBY!
#12
Hailey Knight
Hailey Knight
That first one is dumb. She wants to be the independent adult, but she still wants her mail sitting in a pile at mommy's house. It's all or nothing, kid...
#13
Cajungal
Cajungal
That second one DOES sound like a short story, only the one I'm thinking of had a quilt in it. It was the story of a black family, and one of the daughters was exhibiting some, I guess, what the mother considered "johnny-come-lately" pride in their heritage and wanted the quilt all for herself. "Everyday Use," I think it was called.
#14
strawman
strawman
Co-ed: Grow up.
Sentimental: Grow up.
Sleepless: Grow up.
Sentimental: Grow up.
Sleepless: Grow up.
#15
ElJuski
ElJuski
Really, the co-ed should grow up? What about control freak mom?
#16
Philosopher B.
Philosopher B.
[only tangentially related] I have a theory that Abby will automatically print any letter that involves someone seeing a naked man get his mail. She can't resist that shit. I have long had the urge to make up a fake letter about how my hick neighbors get theirs naked and doing the cancan (they actually don't; thank the stars). [/only tangentially related]
#17
@Li3n
But her mother sounds "awesome"!
@Li3n
I just had them stop sending them to me because they where charging for it, and i can just go to the bank if i want to get them (it's not like i was reading them much anyway).paperless bank statements. It's 2010.
But her mother sounds "awesome"!
#18
strawman
strawman
Yeah, but Mom isn't writing Dear Abby - in other words mom doesn't see a problem, and will not change. The daughter needs to accept that and figure out how to deal with it like an adult, even though her mom is acting like a child.Really, the co-ed should grow up? What about control freak mom?
#19
Hailey Knight
Agreed. Telling the co-ed to grow up isn't acknowledging the mother is right, Juski, it's saying that the co-ed needs to figure out adult solutions like going paperless or getting a P.O. Box, rather than "Mom. Like, God, stop invading my privacy." Well, stop having bank statements sent to mom's house then.
Hailey Knight
Yeah, but Mom isn't writing Dear Abby - in other words mom doesn't see a problem, and will not change. The daughter needs to accept that and figure out how to deal with it like an adult, even though her mom is acting like a child.[/QUOTE]Really, the co-ed should grow up? What about control freak mom?
Agreed. Telling the co-ed to grow up isn't acknowledging the mother is right, Juski, it's saying that the co-ed needs to figure out adult solutions like going paperless or getting a P.O. Box, rather than "Mom. Like, God, stop invading my privacy." Well, stop having bank statements sent to mom's house then.
#20
@Li3n
@Li3n
The adult thing to do is not trying to solve the problem with her mother but avoid it by bypassing her mother?!
#21
Hailey Knight
This is not bypassing. She wants to be an adult, off "on her own" at college, then she needs to grow up and get her own mailbox, and stop relying on mommy's mailbox. As long as she leaves things like that in her mom's house, she has no control over it, and she's not really off on her own because she's relying on that mailbox. It's mommy's mailbox, mommy's rules. She should get her own mailbox and accept her mother is not going to get it. Really, regardless of her mother's behavior, if she wants to be the adult off on her own, she should have her own mailbox.
Hailey Knight
She's already confronted her about it. Yes, talking to someone is the adult thing to do. But it isn't working, and it's childish to keep pounding your head against the wall and then cry "It's not working!"The adult thing to do is not trying to solve the problem with her mother but avoid it by bypassing her mother?!
This is not bypassing. She wants to be an adult, off "on her own" at college, then she needs to grow up and get her own mailbox, and stop relying on mommy's mailbox. As long as she leaves things like that in her mom's house, she has no control over it, and she's not really off on her own because she's relying on that mailbox. It's mommy's mailbox, mommy's rules. She should get her own mailbox and accept her mother is not going to get it. Really, regardless of her mother's behavior, if she wants to be the adult off on her own, she should have her own mailbox.
#22
Dave
Dave
I like the sex toy idea the best.
#23
ElJuski
ElJuski
Good point. I remove my objection!
#24
strawman
It shouldn't be too long before mom tells her to get a P.O. box or learn to forward her mail every semester.
strawman
Especially if the toy is shipped home, "since the credit card is billed there, it has to be shipped there."I like the sex toy idea the best.
It shouldn't be too long before mom tells her to get a P.O. box or learn to forward her mail every semester.