I met BIL in the summer of 1993. I was spending the August long weekend at the family cottage helping my parents and relaxing as best I could. My sisters eventually showed up and brought with them a gaggle of boys from university. BIL was among this group. Everyone remarked how eerily similar we were, both tall with short red hair and glasses. I didn't really see it, though until I watched how he acted around my sister Liz. Not only did he not dote on her, he actively tormented her, called her out on her foolish behaviour and teased her constantly. Just like me, I knew then that I liked BIL a lot.
It wasn't long until I was informed the BIL and Liz were dating, and that it may be serious. May be, turned into actually is, and an engagement was soon forthcoming. They were married in September of 1996, and BIL and Liz were happy. I was happy as well because I finally had a new ally against my siblings, but I was really happy that my sister had found some one to spend her life with.
The years went by, various holidays came and left where I had new avenues of teasing my sister, and BIL would often join my side. This was appreciated as I myself eventually got married and my wife and Liz became good friends, Liz constantly feeding my wife all sorts of embarrassing stories about my childhood.
Eventually Liz and BIL were graced with a daughter Libby. As Libby's first birthday was approaching, BIL was coughing and hacking like crazy. Concerned that it might be pneumonia, he went to the doctor and got checked out. Tests were ran, blood taken, all the things doctors do got done.
About a week later he got a call from the doctor. The doctor wanted him to come to the hospital immediately. It wasn't pneumonia, it was leukemia, and it was bad. They wanted him there that day, it couldn't wait until the next.
More tests and a battery of treatments, they took as aggressive a treatment as possible against the cancer. At one point, Liz was summoned to the hospital for a last chance to say good-bye. But BIL didn't know that he was supposed to die that night, so he survived.
A few months later, the tests revealled that his leukemia was in full remission. The cancer was now in his glands.
More treatment, more chemo, more tests. Again Liz was summoned to the hospital for a last chance to say good-bye. But BIL didn't know that he was supposed to die that night, so he survived.
A few months later, the tests showed that the cancer in his glands was gone. The cancer was now in his spine.
More treatment, more chemo, more tests. Again Liz was summoned to the hospital for a last chance to say good-bye. But BIL didn't know that he was supposed to die that night, so he survived.
A few months later, the tests showed that the cancer was gone from his spine. The cancer was now in his brain.
More treatment, more chemo. The cancer is now every where. BIL is drifting in and out of lucid thought constantly. Completely bedridden, barely functional, he came out of unconsciousness one day while Liz and Libby were visiting. He asked them what day it was and they told him. Then he asked for the doctors and nurses and spoke with them in whispers.
I called my sister the next day, but there was no answer. So I left a message wishing everyone well and to call me when they could. She called the following day, and I asked how everything was and she told me that BIL had passed away early that morning. It was devastating but expected, he had taken a turn around supper time and the doctors had tried everything they could, but he passed shortly after midnight. Then she told me what he had asked of the doctors, "Don't let me die tomorrow, don't let me ruin Christmas for Libby."
He had fought one of the most aggressive cases of cancer in Canadian history for almost 3 years, and when he knew he couldn't fight any longer he fought for one last thing, for his daughter not to remember Christmas as the day he died.