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Flu fueled Hoboisms

Oct 29, 2014#1

HCGLNS

When I get a feverey fluish cold I can get very profound; as I am under the weather here are some of my more profound statements from earlier today;

This floor is flat!

I like my watch, it's very round.

April, that's a nice name for a Month.

Oct 29, 2014#2

Celt Z

Squidleybits should probably take away your computer for a while.

Oct 29, 2014#3

ThatNickGuy

No no no. I say give him a cell phone and a Twitter account. It could be breakthrough stuff.

Oct 29, 2014#4

Dave

It's still more lucid and on point than any of Jaden Smith's.

Oct 29, 2014#5

Gusto

Apparently the last time I was blackout drunk, I did a thousand-yard stare between my friends and whispered in the most serious voice, "I'm the werewolf version of myself right now."

Oct 29, 2014#6

HCGLNS

Yes, 36 is less than 40.

How many minutes are in this Kraft Dinner?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha a canoe. That's funny.

Oct 29, 2014#7

LittleSin

Before I got an epidural a few months ago they had given me a shot of something else. My husband took a video of me.

I spoke of digging a tunnel under my neighbors fence with Jets help to steal the cool shit in their back yard...and teddy bears.

Oct 29, 2014#8

Hailey Knight

Once when I complained about insomnia, my stepdad offered me one of his prescription-strength sleeping pills. It put me to sleep, but not before I started telling my wife that the universe finally made sense and I'd discovered all its secrets. It's unfortunate no one recorded my words; they would've doubtlessly proved significant to humanity.

Oct 30, 2014#9

Squidleybits

OMG just seeing this now! I worked late last night. I will monitor this evening's hobo isms.

Oct 30, 2014#10

Bowielee

My cohorts here just started a "shit Dale says" Google doc. Apparently they find my zings and off handed comments amusing.

Oct 30, 2014#11

Dave

When my wife and I first got together I was working two jobs and going to school. We did this so she could stay home and watch the kids. But working from dawn to dusk and filling the rest of the time with school was very exhausting. One night we were lying downstairs on a mattress (the air was out and it was about 100 degrees outside - this was when we were living in the projects. Long story) and I apparently woke briefly up and said, "Shrimp & stuff."

I remember dreaming that I was working at Red Lobster (which I had for years) and my wife gave me a bunch of seafood to cook. So I thanked her for it, not knowing that I was speaking aloud.

That was about 20 years ago and she still gives me crap about it.

Oct 30, 2014#12

HCGLNS

Squidleybits said:
OMG just seeing this now! I worked late last night. I will monitor this evening's hobo isms.

But it's not windy out.

Oct 30, 2014#13

Bowielee

What they have so far on the google doc:

I used to live in a house full of lesbians.

Maybe you should have just shot yourself in the head when you realized you wanted to listen to Creed?

Not only does it not make any sense, it’s also racist!

I did it once, and I felt so guilty, I told my Mom…

I haven’t seen a debate this lively since the stand up or sit down when you wipe argument…

Your computer sucks asssss...

Alright which one of you bastards called this bastard a bastard

“Tell us a time you discriminated against someone,” said gleefully in class like a child waking up on Christmas Morn.

Note the shoutout to Halforums.

Oct 30, 2014#14

fade

Dave said:
When my wife and I first got together I was working two jobs and going to school. We did this so she could stay home and watch the kids. But working from dawn to dusk and filling the rest of the time with school was very exhausting. One night we were lying downstairs on a mattress (the air was out and it was about 100 degrees outside - this was when we were living in the projects. Long story) and I apparently woke briefly up and said, "Shrimp & stuff."

I remember dreaming that I was working at Red Lobster (which I had for years) and my wife gave me a bunch of seafood to cook. So I thanked her for it, not knowing that I was speaking aloud.

That was about 20 years ago and she still gives me crap about it.

She's not. "Thanks for the shrimp" is just coincidental pillow talk.

Oct 30, 2014#15

Squidleybits

HCGLNS said:
But it's not windy out.

Bite me. They flap.

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