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Okay, we have a number of prizes that we can give out. Some are going to be good and some are going to be only so-so. The contest will determine who gets prizes and in what order these prizes are given out...but not what the prize is.

The person who gets the last place (which may be as many as 7 people!) gets to choose from the list. Then #6 can either take that gift or choose a new unknown item from the list. And so on until all gifts have been seen. It's going to be brutal and bloody and fun!

I don't know what the contest is going to be quite yet as I don't know precisely how many prizes I have to give. The gift exchange will be done using the chat client so that everyone can see what's going on. The exchange will probably take a bit of time so we'll have to schedule it.

You have at least two.

SeraRelm said:

You have at least two.

Click to expand...

Yup. Those are in there.

Hylian said:

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Um, Hylian, Dave said that it's going to be a gift exchange...

Sort of. I'm providing the prizes and people get to steal them from others who may win them. So "dis gon b gud", indeed.

edit: Evilmike you fucker! I didn't even see the other text! Ya got me.

There will be a total of 7 prizes. Now all I have to do is figure out what to do for the contest...

wet t-shirt contest

I don't know man... there's a lot of people on this board that I probably wouldn't want to see in a wet t-shirt... and I'm one of them.

My suggestion is motivated by a desire to see Poe win

Allen who is Quiet said:

wet t-shirt contest

Click to expand...

I like this idea.

Okay, so here's what we're going to do.

• Starting today and continuing through Friday I will be giving a stream of letters and a category.
• Participants will take these letters and make a saying out of them, preferably humorous.
• Example: "FAMVT - The world will end when..." Someone could put "Frisky Argentinian Moose Develop Thumbs".
• Everyone putting in an entry gets 1 point.
• 1 entry per person. If someone enters more than 1 then only the first entry will be considered.
• If someone likes your entry you get an additional point. 2 points for Love or Funny.
• NO points will be taken away for negative votes.
• At the end of the week I'll tally them up and the top 7 people get in for a prize.

Please note that the prizes are broken down as follows: 1 PS3 game, 1 PC game from a web site and 5 Steam games.
Monday's Acronym:
DKCORS
Category - What happened last weekend.
And.....GO!

What happened last weekend?

Drunken Kevin caused outstanding ruckus Saturday.

(Bonus points for true story? )

What happened last weekend?



Dramatic kitten couldn't overcome rancid salami.

What happened last weekend?

Dave kissed covert ops rescue Seals.

What happened last weekend?

Dave killed comedy. Our revenge soon.

Can it be a Dromund Kaas Centric Old Republic Story?



I'm clever.

Dumb Kids Couldn't Outwit Renlys Skirt.

What happened last weekend?

Dave kissed Charon on reality show!



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What happened this weekend?

Dude, Kanye caught our ringer Swift.

Donkey Kong Crashed Over Rocky Shore!

Yeah, crazy weekend! (Is this valid?)

Did Karaoke Cuz Ocelots Rocked Softly

Drunken Kids Created Olympic Racing Stadium

Dark Knight Caused Online Relentless Squabbling.



...although that is probably everyday.

*scrolling down to see if anyone else thought of Dark Knight*
So far so good, I might have the best one...
*keeps scrolling*
Aw yes, this is gonna be goo-
*Sees BErt's post*
DAMMIT!

Well now I feel bad, since mine wasn't very good anyway. It does appear to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, however.

Dumped Kelly Clarkson on Rabid Squirrels.

Mine was
Dark Knight Caught: Onomatopeia, Riddler, Scarecrow

Don't know if I lost points because BErt beat me to the Dark Knight connection though.

What happened this weekend?

Delightful KISS concert overshadowed recent shitstorms.

Finally, a chance to use my degree in dumb word play.

Dick Kanye Can't Operate Real Songs.

What happened this weekend?

Dan kept creeping out relatively shadily.

(Again, bonus points for truthiness? *raises eyebrow*

DKCORS
Category - What happened last weekend? Dave kept creating obscenely revolting stenches.


(bonus: 100% true story)

Breaking news from last weekend!

Darth Kringus confesses, ostensibly really... Skull?!

What happened last weekend?

Monday's headline:

Deity Knocked: Challenge Offends Religious Stalwarts

In a stunning move christian leaders worldwide rejected Jesus Christ. His descent in a glowing pillar of fire surrounded by angels was witnessed by every person on this planet, and peace and prosperity have reigned since his arrival just two weeks after Easter. However, christian leaders maintain that he is no longer needed. Many congregations are excommunicating individuals that profess a belief in his second coming. "We still believe in him, of course, but he's already given us the word, and now that he's 'clarifying' doctrine we've been teaching for centuries it's got our congregation in an uproar. We don't need him, right now, and wish he just stayed in heaven until the judgement bar when we'll need forgiveness. His command to 'come, follow me - again' is just an insult to us - what does he think we've been doing all these years?"

This is not the first time a deity has been rejected by his or her followers, and should the world survive the elements melting with a fervent heat at the end of his reign, it will not be the last time.

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Tuesday Letters:

HBCLB

Category: The world ended when...

(By the way, you can still put in for Monday's if you want. All sets of letters will be available until the contest closes on Friday. I will be tallying the results on Monday.)

The world ended when....
HalBucks Considered Legal Banknotes

The world ended when Halle Berry crushed Larry Bird.

The world ended when

Halforums Battled Cracked Liberty Bell


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The world ended when...

Halforums Brought Cher Leftover Bananas

Honey Bees Crowded Luxembourg, Belgium.

The world ended when...

Halforums Belittled Crowned Liege BananaHands.

The world ended when...


Halforums boards conquers library Britannica

The world ended when...

HCGLNS became Cajungals little brother.

The world ended when...

Happily bubbling, Charlie loved Bananahands.

The world ended when Hylian bought Charlie laser beams.

The world ended when...

Halforums Banter Created Legal Benchmarks

Holly Became Cthulu, Lordess Beautiful.

I may as well build myself up.

The World Ended When:

Holy Bible Considered Legally Binding

The world ended when.... hezbollah's ballistics contingent launched bombs.

Honey Badger Club Loses Badger

Monday - What happened last weekend?
Damn kids crapped out rusty shoes.

Tuesday - The World Ended When:

The World Ended When Halle Berry cunt-licked Beetlejuice.

The World Ended When hookers became cute little bears.

The World Ended When hot boobies combusted like bombs.

I couldn't decide which one I liked best.

doomdragon6 said:

Tuesday - The World Ended When:

The World Ended When Halle Berry smelly lady part-licked Beetlejuice.

The World Ended When hookers became cute little bears.

The World Ended When hot boobies combusted like bombs.

I couldn't decide which one I liked best.

Click to expand...

I don't like any of them because they don't make any sense in context to how the "world ended".

Mathias said:

I don't like any of them because they don't make any sense in context to how the "world ended".

Click to expand...

All 3 of those could cause the world to end and you know it.

Wednesday's (late) Acronym!

KTOTAC
Category: I knew she was wrong for me when I found out her/his...

I knew she was wrong for me when I found out her/his...


Koala tux ordered tequila after coitus

I knew she was wrong for me when her Klan ties overthrew the African continent.

I knew she was wrong for me when I found out her
Kinky Times Often Tout Animal Cruelty

KTOTAC
Category: I knew she was wrong for me when I found out her

Kittens took out their adorable cocaine


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The world ended when huge banks collapsed like Babel

I knew shego was wrong for me when I found her kills toasting on the alternating current.

I knew she was wrong for me when I found out her

Knife throwing only targeted Allens crotch.

HCGLNS said:

I knew she was wrong for me when I found out her

Knife throwing only targeted Allens crotch.

Click to expand...

Category: I knew she was wrong for me when I found out her...

Karate Technique Overshadowed The Anime Convention

I knew she was wrong for me when I found out her...

Kids Talked Only To Ann Coulter

MindDetective said:

I knew she was wrong for me when I found out her...

Kids Talked Only To Allens Crotch

Click to expand...

FTFY

HCGLNS said:

FTFY

Click to expand...

Everythings better with Allens Crotch!

KTOTAC
I knew she was wrong for me when I found out her knotty, tangled otaku tentacles attacked Canada.

I knew she was wrong for me when her kinky tanooki outfit tanked at church.

Spoiler

(QFW : Questionable For Work)

when her knowledgeable tangent only talked about cock.

Thursday's Letters!

LKABBN
Category: I used to be an Adventurer, until I took an arrow through the knee. Now I...

I used to be an Adventurer, until I took an arrow through the knee. Now I lead kids around Boston's Barnes & Noble.

I used to be an Adventurer, until I took an arrow through the knee. Now I...


Let killer attack bunnies beat ne'er–do–wells

LKABBN
I used to be an Adventurer, until I took an arrow through the knee. Now I lack knees, and break bones needlessly.

lecture knowingly about Belgium's bee nuisance.

I used to be an Adventurer, until I took an arrow through the knee. Now I Larp Kinda Awkwardly, Being Butt-Naked

LKABBN
Category: I used to be an Adventurer, until I took an arrow through the knee. Now I...

Leap keenly around babies before noon


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LKABBN
I used to be an Adventurer, until I took an arrow through the knee. Now I liberate knees and beneficial belongings, Nord.

LKABBN
I used to be an Adventurer, until I took an arrow through the knee. Now I liberate krisken and bring back northranger

lynch, locate, lift

kangaroo, krisken

after, and, abilities,

babies, brats, babes, boys, bring, bacon,beer bear barf

nearby near nearly nun none nothing not nick northranger

Final day!! There are TWO sets of letters today. The first set will be okay and the second set will be difficult. Double points if you use the second set and they make sense in the category.

Set #1 Letters (normal scoring): MFADLO
Category: Last night this heckler tried to mess up my act. So I says to him...

Set #2 Letters: QRTJJZJZ
Category: Well THAT movie sucked! It would have been better if...

Last night this heckler tried to mess up my act. So I says to him my father Amos died laughing, oaf. (avoiding the easy MFA).

Well, THAT movie sucked! It would have been better if Q realized that James jury-rigs zero jet Zambonis.

Well THAT movie sucked! It would have been better if...

Quigley rescued that jaded jenny, zipper just zipping.

Last night this heckler tried to mess up my act. So I says to him...

My fat ass dick laughs obnoxiously


Well THAT movie sucked! It would have been better if...

Quaratino realized that Joshua jilted Zachary Jeremiah zones.

-if Quentin rejected Tony Jaa's "Jay Z's Jazz Zither™."

also,
-to him "My friend, all dilettantes lack originality."

We interrupt this contest to remind you that we are having an even more awesome contest in the sports section.

Carry on.

MFADLO
Last night this heckler tried to mess up my act. So I says to him, "Man-whore for a dollar, ladies only!"

QRTJJZJZ
Well THAT movie sucked! It would have been better if Quiet Robert told Jay juicy zoological jokes, zing!

Set #1 Letters (normal scoring): MFADLO
Category: Last night this heckler tried to mess up my act. So I says to him...

Set #2 Letters: QRTJJZJZ
Category: Well THAT movie sucked! It would have been better if...
Quatemander right then just jizzed zillions... just zillions... (it was a porno)

Well that movie sucked! It would have been better if..
Qui-gon Realized that Jar Jar Zestfully Jumped Zeigfeld

Set #1 Letters (normal scoring): MFADLO
Category: Last night this heckler tried to mess up my act. So I says to him...
My Fat Ass Defecates Less Offensively
(...Than the heckler smells/ sounds) ...you get it? Whatever, I'm tired. That's the best I could do.

Set #2 Letters: QRTJJZJZ
Category: Well THAT movie sucked! It would have been better if...
Queen Reunited Together, Just Joyriding Zambonis, Jumping Zombies.

(Except for zombie Freddie Mercury, obviously)

Thread is now locked for score tallying. It will reopen when tallys are completed and winner's names are announced.

Okay, here's how I did the tallying.

Each entry was worth 1 point per day. A like added 1 point, a Funny or Love added 2 points and I even gave a point out for an Informative. On Friday, I counted double for the hard letters and also doubled up the like/love/funny scores. So without further ado...here's our winners and the order in which they will choose their gifts.

1. With 8 points... Hylian!
2. 9 points... Mathias!
3. 10 points... stienman!
4. 10 points + winning coin flip... Sparhawk!
5. 11 points... checkeredhat!
6. 16 points... bhamv3!
7. 16 points + winning coin flip... fade!
8. And our Grand Winner with 21 points... CrimsonSoul!!!

So THIS SUNDAY at noon CST we will be having the giveaway. The prizes will be hidden until that time. Hylian will choose a number 1-7 and that gift will be (temporarily) his. After that, Mathias gets to either choose a number or steal away Hylian's. If he chooses Hylian's then Hylian gets to choose a new number. Next, stienman can either pick a number or steal one of the other gifts. If he steals, the person stolen from can pick a number or steal from the third guy. And so on until all numbers have been chosen. When it's all said and done you can trade them to your heart's content and I won't be involved. Remember that there's a PS3 game in there, so if you don't have a PS3 you're gonna have a bad time.
Opening up the comments again. See you Sunday!

Congrats everyone!

Thanks for the contest Dave - it was fun!

Participation was great but went down a little as the week progressed, as expected. Here's how the entries went:

• Monday - 20
• Tuesday - 17
• Wednesday - 11
• Thursday - 7
• Friday - 8

Strangely enough, all the winners participated on Friday... Double points away!

Added an 8th winner due to my mad math skills! There were 8 prizes, not 7!

Hey Dave? Sunday noon CST is 1am for me, and I have to work on Monday morning. I'm not gonna ask you to reschedule it just for my sake, since it appears most of the winners are in the USA time zones, but would it be possible to arrange my picks in advance? Say, I'll always pick the smallest number available, and never try to steal anyone else's prize?

EDIT: Whoops, just saw your PM. Your method works fine too, thanks.

Yeah Dave, thanks for the contest and I'm off Sunday too! Woo!


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Thanks Dave

The contest was fun and I am very shocked (but grateful) that I managed to get enough points to qualify as a winner (even if you had to add a new slot for me )

bhamv3 said:

Hey Dave? Sunday noon CST is 1am for me, and I have to work on Monday morning. I'm not gonna ask you to reschedule it just for my sake, since it appears most of the winners are in the USA time zones, but would it be possible to arrange my picks in advance? Say, I'll always pick the smallest number available, and never try to steal anyone else's prize?

EDIT: Whoops, just saw your PM. Your method works fine too, thanks.

Click to expand...

Damn. I thought I had set it up early enough to include you. So who wants to scab in for bhamv?

WOOOOOOOO!

That's only 1pm for me so I should be able to be online, but I have a nagging suspicion I'm supposed to do something on Sunday that I'm forgetting about.

that's noon for me so I might be out of bed...

So it's like Quidditch. The quaffles didn't matter, only the golden snitch. (I keed, I keed).

Oh, whoever's pinch hitting for me, please bear in mind I don't have a PS3.

I can't show. I am sitting down to lunch, and my wife won't let me come out to play.

It's going on right now!

...and it's done.

Okay, the games are over and strangely enough, the lure of finding out what's behind the hidden door proved to be too much. No gifts were stolen away and the numbers that were chosen were what the people ended with! In the end, here's who won and what they won!

If you liked the game you got I'm very pleased. If you don't (or don't own a PS3, fade) I'm sorry! That's kinda how these things work. But! If you have a game you don't want, talk to the others and trade, trade, trade!

I'll be contacting the winners individually to disperse the prizes. Great contest, everyone!

Thanks again Dave! Sorry I missed it, I misunderstood the time and set my calendar wrong.

I will enjoy Hydrophobia!

Yeah, thanks again Dave, fun contest!

Thanks Dave it was fun

Thanks, Dave. I do have a PS3, and I'm looking forward to playing.

Awesome contest, Dave. Loved it.

Only two left to send are Hylian & stienman. Get your Steam requests to me when you can and I'll send the gifts.

Ok Mount and blade reminds me a lot of a game I used to play as a kid on a 386. it took place in the middle Ages there were jousting tournaments to gain prestige and there were two ways to win, kill the dragon or take over London.

Also, what game am I talking about I can't remember the name

Conquerer AD 1086. I loved that game!

I still show 3 games from this contest in my Steam trunk.

Sword & Sworcery - Sent to Hylian
Monkey Island - Sent to Sparhawk
Hydrophobia - Sent to stienman

Do I need to send these again or do you not want them? Did you wait too long and the offer expired?

Y U NO SAY SOMETHING?!?

They don't like your games, Dave.

I know, right?

Although I was super stoked to win a prize I did send Dave a message right after the contest ended explaining that I did not have a Steam account and I suggested that the game could be used for another contest.

Oh that's right! I forgot about that! Geez. Old age really is catching up. That's one. Two more to go.

I must have missed that. Can you send it again?

stienman said:

I must have missed that. Can you send it again?

Click to expand...

Check your Steam. It says it's sent to you.

Go ahead and use it for something else, my computer is on the edge of not being able to handle the games.

*flails about wanting monkey island*