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Ross here with your morning weather update. Ask me for your weather forecast!

Cool conditions will persist throughout most of the country today, with the exception of the extreme southern and desert regions. A host of low pressure systems will provide scattered showers and mostly cloudy skies in the Northeast, cloudy and rainy conditions throughout the South and Southeast, and rain and snow in the western mountain regions. These systems will all be moving pretty slowly to the north and east, so don't expect any rapid changes in the weather today.

In Raleigh, the clouds are beginning to exit the region, giving way to mostly sunny skies. Expect temps to climb quickly this afternoon, with a high of 79.

You just can't compete with http://thefuckingweather.com/

Like hell I can't! (though it's a fun site)

My shit's got details, son!

Ross, I would like to hire you to sit at my breakfast table every morning, and detail the weather.

I also have a second opening. I would consider hiring you to follow me around and narrate my day, but I'm waiting to hear back from James Earl Jones. You are definitely my second choice for that role, though.

Rob King said:

Ross, I would like to hire you to sit at my breakfast table every morning, and detail the weather.

I also have a second opening. I would consider hiring you to follow me around and narrate my day, but I'm waiting to hear back from James Earl Jones. You are definitely my second choice for that role, though.

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The flight to and from Newfoundland every day might be a bit costly...

OMG.

I just realized that Ross is Raputin! Duh!

I was wondering what happened to him!

So what's your forecast for San Diego?

Frau VildSoul said:

So what's your forecast for San Diego

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For the rest of today... temps will only climb a few more degrees to about 69 this afternoon, as a brisk onshore breeze keeps the high temp down.

The strong onshore winds will gradually decrease through tomorrow night. The next few days look to be beautiful Fall days in San Diego, with highs approaching 70 and lows in the upper 50s, with mostly clear skies.

EDIT:
Took out the technical babble

It's night. And it be raining. A lot.

How about for Phoenix?

Hey, if you feel like a challenge, do a three day forecast for St. John's, but make the terrible weather sound awesome, and the good weather (hahahahah! Like we'll have any) sound like crap.

This is my challenge to you.

Even better, give a weather report for one of those Newfie towns with the fucked up names, like Came Too Early or Back For A Little Anal . . . Those are real town names, right Rob?

Baerdog7 said:

How about for Phoenix?

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For the rest of today... mostly cloudy skies, with a high near 90 and winds out of the southwest at 15-20 mph.

Monday will see slightly cooler temps with a high in the lower 80s as a slow-moving cold front with plenty of clouds moves through the area around the afternoon rush hour

Mostly cloudy skies and lighter winds will persist over the next few days following Monday, with highs in the upper 80s and lows in the 65-70 range. Dewpoints will be considerably lower following the cold front passage, making conditions rather pleasant in the Phoenix area.

Close.

Here to help me with Newfoundland place names, are the Arrogant Worms.

How about North Haverbrook?

Rob King said:

Hey, if you feel like a challenge, do a three day forecast for St. John's, but make the terrible weather sound awesome, and the good weather (hahahahah! Like we'll have any) sound like crap.

This is my challenge to you.

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The hot, beating sun and freezing low temps will not be a problem for the next few days, as a slow moving low pressure system keeps a nice layer of clouds over St. John's. Light rain showers will keep the plants happy, and blustery winds will make sure the potted plants underneath your roof get the rain as well.

Temps over the next few days will allow you to show off your fashionable Fall outfits, with highs in the 10C-13C range, and lows around 4C-7C.

...and I'm sorry, but there's no good weather to make sound like crap.

Edited to add temps, because I forgot them originally lol.

Ross said:

The hot, beating sun and freezing low temps will not be a problem for the next few days, as a slow moving low pressure system keeps a nice layer of clouds over St. John's. Light rain showers will keep the plants happy, and blustery winds will make sure the potted plants underneath your roof get the rain as well.

...and I'm sorry, but there's no good weather to make sound like crap.

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*Sigh* No place like home ...

Cuyval Dar said:

How about North Haverbrook?

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Sorry, I don't do forecasts for cartoons.