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Come on, fess up. Has any woman (or man) ever tried to weasel their way out of a ticket or citation like this?

That is Officer Charon.

Nah. Our Charon's a much smarter man than that.

ThatNickGuy said:

Nah. Our Charon's a much smarter man than that.

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That's why he'll never reply to this thread.

Or the world's dumbest porn star. She sucked a cock, and still got the ticket.

Why is it that some of the dumbest people on the planet get to live in a porn reality?

North_Ranger said:

Why is it that some of the dumbest people on the planet get to live in a porn reality?

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I know what to get NR for christmas this year!

Ravenpoe said:

I know what to get NR for christmas this year!

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...a lobotomy?

Ravenpoe said:

I know what to get NR for christmas this year!

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Eh, just send me D&D miniatures instead of a strippergram. The unfortunate reality is that the ongoing treatments, as little good as they do, wreak havoc on certain bodily functions of mine.

Not that I don't appreciate the thought, mind you

North_Ranger said:

Eh, just send me D&D miniatures instead of a strippergram. The unfortunate reality is that the ongoing treatments, as little good as they do, wreak havoc on certain bodily functions of mine.

Not that I don't appreciate the thought, mind you

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We'll put that on hold, then. I could always send two and have them get it on while you watch? Though, I can imagine the frustration that might cause...

this isn't what I mean when I say fuck the police

Charlie Don't Surf said:

this isn't what I mean when I say fuck the police

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/thread

(At least until Officer_Charon replies.)

ThatNickGuy said:

/thread

(At least until Officer_Charon replies.)

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Don't hold your breath.

But...why?

It's in the rant thread, dude. :-/

ThatNickGuy said:

But...why?

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From the Drunk Thread:

Officer_Charon said:

If I get around enough of this twelve pack, perhaps I shall not have to dwell upon the fact that I have lost a child that I didn't even get a chance to learn the gender of, let alone give a name to.

Fuck.

These things happen, but you never think they'll happen to you. It's hard to remain philosophical when you're the one whose guts are being ripped out... the one whose blood runs icy cold at the sound of the doctor's sigh, the images on the ultrasound, showing stillness where there should be movement.....


Fuck it... I'll be back later, guys. You guys are as unto family for me....

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Oh Jesus. I didn't know. Been so busy with my internship to read a lot of the forum.

D:

Everything is terrible, especially this thread.

Well...maybe it'll make him chuckle a little once he comes back.

I bet there is all kinds of flirting, crying, whining, kiss assing and probably even smart assing.

The one and only time I got pulled over, I think I made the officer a bit nervous. In my case it was just a random alcohol test, I hadn't actually done anything. First of all it was snowing and pitch black outside. The police were waving down random motorists with a dim glow stick. I had just stepped out of a bright super market a couple of minutes earlier, so I had no night vision yet and was only barely able to make the poor guy out, so had to break kinda suddenly. If I hadn't slowed down because of the car ahead of me pulling over who knows what would have happened.

On top of having my heart in my throat from getting close to running a guy over I also had cramps and a headache. So I was not A Happy Driver. Still, I wanted to get out of there, so I wasn't gonna start anything. He asked me for my license and I reach into my pocket. Oh shit, my wallet is gone. I figured it slipped out of my pocket as I got into my car outside the supermarket, because it fell out just like that a few weeks earlier only then I noticed right away. Now, the wallet would probably still be there. It was dark and the parking lot was covered in dirty snow. But I didn't think the guy would be impressed by a plea to let me go and come back in 10 minutes with my wallet. So in top of getting a ticket and whatever else kind of trouble you get for driving around without your license on you, I would have to deal with the crap fest that loosing your wallet and all it's contents entail, because I could not go look for it while it would still be there.

I felt ganged up upon by the whole universe and there was no point in explaining why I didn't have my license because it probably sounded every stupid excuse he had ever heard and if I even opened my mouth I would probably cry, scream or have a one woman riot. OH FUUUUU... Oooh, never mind, there's my wallet. It turned out that it had not slipped onto the ground. It was on the side of my seat. The whole frantic search for my wallet didn't take more than 15 seconds tops. The cop must have noticed the looming thundercloud of my head, because he looked very worried. Or perhaps he was just new. He handed me a breath tester to blow in. My chest was so clenched I could only manage a tiny puff. He hurriedly said it was fine, informed me that one of my break lights didn't work. I managed to squeak ThankYouI'llGetThatFixed and then they let me go.

I swear once I got out of a speeding ticket because I was wearing a short skirt and tight sweater.

WasabiPoptart said:

I swear once I got out of a speeding ticket because I was wearing a short skirt and tight sweater.

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I've talked my way out of 8 run-ins with the police, with at least 3 of those being dead-to-rights ticket situations.

Then, of course, the one ticket I actually got was complete bullshit.

I've talked myself into tickets...

Fuckin state troopers have no sense of humor.

None of our posters are troopers, right? >.>

Ravenpoe said:

I've talked myself into tickets...

Fuckin state troopers have no sense of humor.

None of our posters are troopers, right? >.>

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Next time you should try to win them over with Gangnam Style

Yeah, no jokes with State Troopers. Just give them yes sir, no sir, or yes, no. Disagree if you have to but don't start the conversation with, "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU STOP ME FOR."

The only time I ever joked with a State Trooper, I was driving a small, club-cab pick up with my German Shepherd behind the seat. It was the first time that the Trooper ever went to my driver side door. It was a cheap truck so I could not roll down the window, so I reached across and unlocked the door. He opened the door and my 85lb German Shepherd shot his head out the door and licked his hand.

"If you were a county mountie, he would have bit you."

My sister got out of a ticket because she was baby sitting for me and had Jet in the back seat.

She cried that I would never let her baby sit again if I found out she was speeding. The cop let her off.

Then she told me anyway.

Sister logic.

I think I've had all of about 3 encounters with state patrol officers, and they've always been the most professional and pleasant officers I've dealt with. Only got one ticket, and that one was pretty much unavoidable, seeing as how I'd just rear-ended someone. The other two, the first one I pulled myself over as soon as I saw him, before he even had a chance to flip on his lights, because I zoomed past him in the dark doing 80+ in a 55 zone. Apparently he appreciated my honesty, and my spotless record, and just let me off with a warning. The second one the officer was a bit busy immediately after pulling me over dealing with the wreck that I'd avoided by flooring it in heavy snow on a mountain pass. He flagged me down (he was outside of his patrol car, there were wrecks all over the place) pointed at me to stop the car (so I did) and walked up to the window to demand to know why I was driving so fast, but as soon as the question left his mouth, the semi (that had been on the uphill side of me before I floored it to pass him) that had been slipping sideways hit the jersey barrier and he told me to be more careful and have a nice day.

Sorry about not responding to this one sooner... doing better now, obviously. *small smile*

I have had one girl ALMOST try this... she started saying "Is there any-" and I cut her off with a growl: "Let's not say anything that might result in jail time, hmm?" I did NOT want to make this arrest, being right before it was time to go home.

I DID have one make an obvious attempt to lower her neckline, trying to show more cleavage, and work her skirt higher. She looked most put out when I told her that signing the citation was not an admission of guilt, but merely acknowledging her receipt of the citation, and that she would either pay it or appear in court.

When I saw this video a while back, I had to headwheel... I've worked TOO hard to get this job to lose it due to stupidity like that... utter fail. This dumbass deserved everything that happened to him, and then some. Fucksticks like this tarnish the badge.

You've never even been tempted to...cop a feel?

So you copped out?

So you're... a cop??

Gusto said:

So you're... a cop??

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NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL

I deserve to become a Jedi Knight for all the times I successfully fought off the urge to tempban certain people for making terrible puns.

Gusto said:

I deserve to become a Jedi Knight for all the times I successfully fought off the urge to tempban certain people for making terrible puns.

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I think that'd be a Wookie mistake for a mod.

And Nick was never heard from again.

ThatNickGuy said:

I think that'd be a Wookie mistake for a mod.

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GRRRRRRHHHH-wonk-wonk-wonk!

I've never gotten a ticket for any traffic violation, although I've had my fair share of parking tickets.

This one time I was waiting for a date in Huntsville. In case you're not familiar with Huntsville, TX it's a small town famous for its university, its state prison, and the Sam Houston museum. Most of that town struck me as incredibly sketchy. Since she and I had talked a lot about baking, part of the deal was I'd bring some homemade brownies with me. Anyways, I'd arrived early so she told me to wait for her at a particular corner in downtown Huntsville. So I waited, then she told me she was running late, and I waited some more. Later on that night, I thought back and realized how bad it had looked. A guy slowly pacing around a street corner, holding a Ziploc freezer bag with foil-wrapped items inside. Unbeknownst to me, there had been a bomb threat earlier that day as well.

Then a police cruiser pulled up to me and a cop asked what I was doing. I told him, but he obviously wasn't buying it. He ran my ID through the computer when a judge from the county courthouse across the street wandered over. In the meantime I was fretting because this was the FIRST date and I didn't want it to start with her seeing me grilled by the police. The ID checked out (I have no criminal record). The cop asked what I was carrying and I told him. To allay any more suspicions, I pulled back the foil on one of the contents and offered him a brownie. He and the judge both laughed and wished me a good day.

And my date had been waiting on the wrong street corner the whole time. She said she'd felt like a hooker lol.

It's NECRO time!

Ohhh. So THIS is what interrogations are like. Right @Officer_Charon?

*chuckles* Love it

"The ham is in the sandwich!"

Oh gods, I died.