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Long story short... I just had my first real interview in a long time. The job I'm currently at was easy to get, so there was nothing to worry about at the interview. The job I'm trying to get now is different. There's more competition, and the interview was much tougher.

I think I fucked it up.

I'm worried that I came off as a cocky know-it-all, but I was only trying to convey a sense that I would be comfortable with the position and they wouldn't have to babysit me. My would-be supervisor was there, and near the end she told me she's a control freak who wants people to follow her policies. That made me worry all my talk of my experience and taking initiative made her think I wouldn't be a team player or that I didn't think I had anything to learn. That couldn't be farther from the truth but I don't know if I made myself seem arrogant. I always make sure I'm a team player, but I don't know if I communicated that effectively.

I'm incredibly insecure. I didn't want to go looking like a bundle of frayed nerves. I wanted to make it seem like I could handle the job. Now I think I overcompensated.

What are the keys to really doing well on an interview? I just don't have that much experience, especially when it's a competitive field and the interview is more than a formality. How do you communicate that balance of confidence and humility without seeming cocky or too meek? What else could I have done?

Interview-fu is tough to master. Your best bet is doing as much research as you can before the interview. If this is an external position (i.e., a company that you don't currently work for) that you're interviewing for, chances are you'll only be able to research the company through press releases, their website, etc., unless you know someone who works there and can pump that person for information. Pay the most attention to their website, especially the "About Us" portion, if they have one, because that's how the company portrays themselves, and you want to try to match your tone to the tone they use when describing themselves. If it's an internal position or if you have someone on the inside that you trust, you can also research, to some degree, the people who will be interviewing you. That's the only real way you could have avoided any possible issues about seeming too independent for a manager who's a self-admitted control freak.

The insecurity issue is a big one, but it's not insurmountable. I have the same problem myself from time to time, but I keep a litany of major accomplishments in the back of my head and repeat them to myself about an hour before an interview to jazz myself up. I find that doing it early gives me time for my cockiness to revert to a more palatable amount of self-confidence, and if I start to get nervous right before the interview I can just briefly run back through the list.

If you get a chance for another interview for this same position (or for any interview, really, but this one specifically), do some planning before the interview on how you're going to answer questions that threw you this time around. Sit down and write out the questions you were asked, as best as you can remember, and the answers that you gave (or at least the gist of the answers). Mark down which ones you felt good about at the time and which you felt less sure of. If you want, you can also delineate out which of the answers you felt good about initially you still feel good about, and which ones you're now less sure of; but be careful with this, or you can end up throwing doubt on all of your answers, and that won't do you any good. Of the questions that you felt doubtful about, now that you have plenty of time, think through them some more and throw answers at them until you find answers that you feel good about.

If you hear back from the interviewers that you didn't get the job, ask them what areas they felt you were weak on and where you could have improved. They may not answer, or the answer may be meaningless, but it's a shot to find out where you came off too strong or too weak, and to improve on those points.

Be prepared to give examples of times where you had very little leadership and had to act on your own initiative and did good things for the company, but also have examples of times where you had a good amount of leadership and followed others' policies to the company's benefit. A good example of showing that you can do well while following company policy is if you've ever worked for a company that does Quality of Service evals, being able to show that you scored well on those evals, or that you get good customer (internal or external) feedback when following policy. If you want to demonstrate that you're good in a team environment, talk about times that you've stepped in to help your teammates, by taking shifts when someone was sick or needed a vacation, or by helping a team member understand some part of the job, or taking on part of someone's workload while they dealt with a big issue so that the team could keep functioning without letting anyone down.

Think through all of these things before going into an interview. Even if what you did to help a teammate seemed small at the time, or isn't anything you think is worth congratulating yourself about, thinking them through can help you to see that maybe what you did was more important than you originally thought, and that can help the teamwork question and can also help your self-confidence.

There's a lot to learn about interview technique, and I'm not sure I could write something that would satisfy me, nevermind help you.

One thing that doesn't seem to be mentioned much, though, is that you have to "click" with the people working there. They have no reason to hire someone they don't think they can shoot the breeze with when there's a lot of candidates, so being open, warm, and friendly matters very much when they've already cut the list down to the people who appear to be technically capable of performing the job.

Other than that, there are a million and one resources for interview preparation online and offline.

Right now I'd suggest just taking a deep breath, going "Glad that's over with! Now that it's largely out of my hands, I should just let go and ride the rest out."

That is, of course, if you've already sent a thank you email. If you haven't sent one, do so now. "I really appreciate the time you spent with me during the interview this afternoon..." I'll often ask a question they can answer without any research in addition to encourage a response. Communication is key, and sending that little thank you note will not only tell them you are a solid communicator, but it will put your name and likely face in front of them once again and reinforce you as one of the top candidates.

Anyway, good luck, but don't sweat it. There are other jobs out there, and if nothing else this one opened your eyes to ways you might be able to improve your technique.

To be honest it's basically a first date (or an extended pick up line), and you have the same two options:

1) Lie through your teeth. Culture yourself into a character that you know they will like.

2) Be natural, be honest, be cool, be yourself.

I find it surprising that a lot of people go with 1 in both cases. It makes more sense when going after a woman because you may only be looking for that first paycheck, but with a job any kind of lie will come back to haunt you, and if you get caught in something like that during the interview then you are hosed. Personally I go with 2. It helps that I am an extrovert, but I've gotten every position I have interviewed for.

When I did interviews, I used to look at the person's body language in addition to what they had to say about themselves. Confident people smile often, make eye contact when speaking to the interviewer, use an "open posture" (versus sitting with their arms folded over their chest or being slouched over), and can give concise answers to questions about their qualifications. It sounds cliche, but your body language can be as important as your resume.

There's been great advice in this thread so far, so I'm going to keep it short.

1) Be calm, be cool. Eager is great, but you don't want to seem over-eager.
2) Be true to yourself. Fake personas are easy as hell to spot in interviews.
3) Make sure it's a conversation where you're reacting to other person and asking questions of your own. Even if your qualifications rock, if you can't hold an actual conversation with them, they won't want you. Why have someone who doesn't fit the company culture?
4) Don't sweat it. Chances are you're going to have to do a lot of interviews to find a job that you want and that the company wants you to want.

And ask them a lot of questions. Make it a conversation and it shows interest versus a firing squad.

Lots of good advice here, but missing one important one:

Do not hit on your future supervisor.

I lost a job opportunity that way. Eh, didn't really want the job anyway.

bhamv3 said:

Lots of good advice here, but missing one important one:

Do not hit on your future supervisor.

I lost a job opportunity that way. Eh, didn't really want the job anyway.

Click to expand...

Did you at least get a date out of it?


Anyway seconding that body posture says a lot about you. As for the questions, don't just ask what you can read about on their website because that makes you sound unprepared. Ask about stuff like company culture, specifics about type of work you're going to be doing etc that you wont find on the website.

Oh man, there was this Ted talk where the presenter suggested matching the interviewers breathing rhythm. Then he went on to say it works great for dates too.

Rovewin said:

Did you at least get a date out of it?

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Psht, I'm lucky I didn't get a restraining order for it.

bhamv3 said:

Lots of good advice here, but missing one important one:

Do not hit on your future supervisor.

I lost a job opportunity that way. Eh, didn't really want the job anyway.

Click to expand...

My would-be supervisor was (by my best estimate) about 7-8 months pregnant. I'm pretty sure a date would be a non-starter.

@everyone else: Thanks for the advice! I'm definitely taking it all in. When I hear back about the job I'll give an update.

stienman said:

Oh man, there was this Ted talk where the presenter suggested matching the interviewers breathing rhythm. Then he went on to say it works great for dates too.

Click to expand...

Link?

Wear pants. For god's sake, wear pants.

You have no idea how many times I forgot that rule.

Anonymous said:

My would-be supervisor was (by my best estimate) about 7-8 months pregnant. I'm pretty sure a date would be a non-starter.

@everyone else: Thanks for the advice! I'm definitely taking it all in. When I hear back about the job I'll give an update.

Click to expand...

*crosses fingers*

Make sure you keep looking and applying (you probably are)! Even if they end up being for naught, it could pay a lot of dividends if current things don't pan out.

MindDetective said:

Link?

Click to expand...

I've tried looking it up, but cannot now find it.

You'll just have to watch all the Ted talks now.

UPDATE

While I was working today I got a phone call, but since I turn my phone off I never had a chance to pick it up. It was one of the two people who interviewed me for the position. He left me a voicemail explaining that I did not get the position. According to the message, I did fine in the interview and they liked me well enough, but they went with someone who has more experience.

(I don't really believe that. As I said, I'm insecure. I actually have enough experience for the job, so it had to boil down to them not liking me enough. But whatever.)

The good news is that he said a similar position is opening up in a few weeks, and he already added my name to the interview list for that job. So, according to him, when they start interviewing for that position I'm already included. He also said that I would be the most qualified person for that position out of all the people that have already applied, which makes me hope that I have an inside track on the job. He also invited me to call him back if I had any questions.

I tried to call him back, but I got his voicemail. I left a message thanking him for his time and the opportunity, and I thanked him for passing my resume along for the other position. I also mentioned that I would welcome any feedback or suggestions, and left my number for a call back if he had any comments. In retrospect that was stupid, and I should have just waited and spoke to him in person for the feedback. But I'm super-awkward on the phone, and that's the best I could do.

Ugh. I just hate this whole process. I'm good at my job, but I'm terrible at getting one in the first place.

I don't think it's necessarily because you didn't do well in the interview or them not liking you. If it comes down to two similar candidates, with the only difference being the other guy having more experience, then it's not at all surprising they went for the other guy. I don't doubt you have enough experience, it's just that the other guy probably has more.

Plus they asked you back to interview for another position. That doesn't sound like them not liking you.

Go knock 'em dead, man.

bhamv3 said:

I don't think it's necessarily because you didn't do well in the interview or them not liking you. If it comes down to two similar candidates, with the only difference being the other guy having more experience, then it's not at all surprising they went for the other guy. I don't doubt you have enough experience, it's just that the other guy probably has more.

Click to expand...

It just sounds like the kind of thing you would say because you don't want to be honest and say something negative. It sounds to me like a phrase to mollify the bad news, and he probably says the same thing to everyone who interviewed.

Bah, maybe I'm just pissed because I really wanted this job.