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I need advice about half-truths (by Belgians especially)

#1



Zarvox

Guys, you've given me good advice in the past (including some that led to a two-year relationship) so I turn to you again for help.

Here's my situation:
I'm an American, raised by a Belgian mother. My mother gave up her citizenship to become American, but recently Belgian law has changed, and we've both been pursuing Belgian citizenship.

I'm still in college, and when I graduate, I'm joining the Navy as an officer. It's something I have to do to be able to respect myself. I recently found out from my recruiter that officers cannot be dual-citizens, so I have to drop the citizenship application.

But there's a complication. I attend a private liberal arts college. While I love my college and the people here, they tend to be very, very liberal. And I have no desire to be called a 'wannabe baby-killer' every time I leave my dorm room. So, I'm keeping my Navy ambitions secret. Only my parents and two very close friends (all sworn to secrecy) know. If I start letting more people in on the secret (family included), word is eventually going to get out, via somebody posting something public on Facebook, if nothing else.

Here's the problem: many family members, Belgian ones particularly, have written letters supporting my legal case to become a citizen. They will want to know why I dropped the case (and they will ask). So what do I tell them? What pat line can I give that will convince them not to press farther? Anything I say will have to be truthful, because I'm not going to lie.

So – Halforums, do you have any advice for me?


#2

phil

phil

Tell the truth. Let haters hate.


#3

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

"Well, it all started with a Village People song..."


#4



Zarvox

phil said:
Tell the truth. Let haters hate.
Click to expand...
Letting haters hate is all well and good in theory, but I've got two years left at this school, and little desire to spend them ostracized.


#5



Disconnected

phil said:
Tell the truth. Let haters hate.
Click to expand...
can i get an amen!


#6



Element 117

If you see the Navy as a symbol of self respect, hiding that fact so that people don't harass you about it seems like you're missing the point of respect, doesn't it? I mean if you don't have the resolve to withstand public criticism about a thing you respect, how will you know if you have that resolve when it might very well be a life and death moment?


#7

Espy

Espy

.Amy. said:
If you see the Navy as a symbol of self respect, hiding that fact so that people don't harass you about it seems like you're missing the point of respect, doesn't it? I mean if you don't have the resolve to withstand public criticism about a thing you respect, how will you know if you have that resolve when it might very well be a life and death moment?
Click to expand...
This sums up my thoughts as well. So how do you start this conversation? Thankfully thats already been answered in this thread:

North_Ranger said:
"Well, it all started with a Village People song..."
Click to expand...


#8



Zarvox

.Amy. said:
If you see the Navy as a symbol of self respect, hiding that fact so that people don't harass you about it seems like you're missing the point of respect, doesn't it? I mean if you don't have the resolve to withstand public criticism about a thing you respect, how will you know if you have that resolve when it might very well be a life and death moment?
Click to expand...
Thats –*a damn good point. I never thought about it that way.


#9

SpecialKO

SpecialKO

On the "how" of the matter, have you considered contacting the Navy JAG Corps and ask them? They should be able to advise you of your legal rights and responsibilities as far as joining as an officer is concerned. I'm no soldier, but I've been told by every single one I've met that you shouldn't, by default, trust recruiters on minute details of this type because there are a ton of exceptions and legal details they won't always have been briefed entirely on.

As to the "should I tell anyone" question, as a pretty hardcore liberal, I agree with Amy and Espy. This is something to be proud of. Also, how "liberal" is your school? I went to a school that saw liberal protesting as a rite of passage, and had a huge socialist society, but students who chose to become soldiers got a lot of serious respect from most folks, and tons of people applied to State, DoD, FBI, and NSA after graduation.


#10



Philosopher B.

phil said:
Tell the truth. Let haters hate.
Click to expand...


#11

strawman

strawman

You are talking about two groups of people.

1. Friends, family, and those that are close to you
2. Complete strangers who disagree with your choice to serve your country

Why not spend your time deciding how you will respond to #2 - people you don't care about - rather than trying to hide something from #1?

Zarvox said:
I have no desire to be called a 'wannabe baby-killer' every time I leave my dorm room.
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"I'm glad you have the freedom and liberty to say what you think of my choice. I am devoting my life to defending that freedom. Have a good day."

-Adam


#12



makare

people still call the military "baby-killers?" woah.


#13



Zarvox

You guys are presenting really good points, here. I need to think about this.


#14

General Specific

General Specific

North_Ranger said:
"Well, it all started with a Village People song..."
Click to expand...
This one:



...it's complicated.


#15

checkeredhat

checkeredhat

Philosopher B.;429927][QUOTE=phil said:
Tell the truth. Let haters hate.
Click to expand...
[/QUOTE]

Rittz, you magnificent bastard.


#16

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

makare said:
people still call the military "baby-killers?" woah.
Click to expand...
Yes. And spit on us


#17



Wasabi Poptart

Officer_Charon;430004][QUOTE=makare said:
people still call the military "baby-killers?" woah.
Click to expand...
Yes. And spit on us[/QUOTE]

And worse unfortunately.

---------- Post added at 11:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:13 PM ----------

Also...Zarvox, the Navy has a set of three core values: Honor, Courage, and Commitment. Think about how they apply to you hiding your decision to serve your country as a Naval officer from your family and friends.

The US Navy

Be honest with your family. Be honest with yourself. That's the only advice I have.


#18



Chazwozel



Fucking hippies


#19

Math242

Math242

drop the belgian citizenship application and pursue your aspirations.

Belgium will be gone soon enough anyway.


#20

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Math242 said:
drop the belgian citizenship application and pursue your aspirations.

Belgium will be gone soon enough anyway.
Click to expand...
How so, my good man? Please, enlighten me.


#21

AshburnerX

AshburnerX

North_Ranger;430060][QUOTE=Math242 said:
drop the belgian citizenship application and pursue your aspirations.

Belgium will be gone soon enough anyway.
Click to expand...
How so, my good man? Please, enlighten me.[/QUOTE]



#22

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Amorous Eyes;430113][QUOTE=North_Ranger;430060][QUOTE=Math242 said:
drop the belgian citizenship application and pursue your aspirations.

Belgium will be gone soon enough anyway.
Click to expand...
How so, my good man? Please, enlighten me.[/QUOTE]

Not sure what he is referring too, but I keep hearing this.
Some say they expect the country to split back into France and The Netherlands.
The county is impossible to manage politically, it seems.[/QUOTE]

Sounds like the same sort of people who thought that Germany would never be reunited. Or Gas when he is doing his Balkanization rant.


#23

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Make two new countries: Wallonia and Flanders. Problem, meet solution. *wry grin*

Yes, I am being flip.


#24

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

What are the blue areas? (Geography fail)


#25

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

I was figuring that was the case... didn't know that German was that prevalent there... thought it might by like Alsace-Lorraine in France, where the native language is spoken with a heavy accent and a few loan words.


#26

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Amorous Eyes said:
(Ignore Luxembourg, everyone else does. :p)
Click to expand...
Except if you try to find their euro coins. God almighty, is that a pain in the tuchus...


#27



Zarvox

Alrighty. I thought it over, and I'm not having my ambition for commission be veiled behind omission.

Or, in a less sing-song manner, I'm not going to hide my becoming a Navy officer anymore. If I believe in something, then y'all are right –*I damn well ought to stand up for it. That said, I don't think I'm going to advertise the fact; that strikes me as unwise for a number of reasons.


#28



Wasabi Poptart

Sounds like a plan. :thumbsup:


#29

SpecialKO

SpecialKO

Make sure to get a second official source on the dual-citizenship question. The recruiter is probably right, but there may be a loophole depending on the situation. I dunno about Belgium, but I've heard that US citizens with Japanese passports can be officers without restrictions on rating or clearances.


#30



Zarvox

I checked out the Navy Officer Recruitment Manual and it reads as follows:

"020102. CITIZENSHIP. Applicants for all officer programs must be citizens of the United States (born in the U. S. A. or naturalized or born abroad of U. S. parents). Dual citizens are eligible to submit Advance Documents (ADDOCs), but to be Final Selected (FINSEL) they must submit proof of renouncing second citizenship. Contact COMNAVCRUITCOM (N36) for further guidance or questions."


#31

Bubble181

Bubble181

Good on you for coming out to your friends! ;-)

But, slightly more seriously, I agree with hat others have said. Family and friends - be honest with them (and expeect some jokes about 'mericans and guns from the Belgians :-p). Haters, let them hate.

As for Belgium, well, I'm not for a separation, but I am for a far stronger regionalisation - more like Germany, less like France. We'll see where we end up. Current state reform in progress seems to be going the same way as always - too wide, not deep enough. In other words, only compounding the problems it's trying to solve: conflicting and overlapping interests and authorities.


#32

@Li3n

@Li3n

Kill some babies... then they can't call you a "wannabe", can they.


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