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I've got a half hour until I'm out for the night, but eventually I'll be back, and all day tomorrow I'll be hungover. So ask any questions you want, and I will answer them. You can make them personal, but remember, I will keep certain topics under wraps. You know, that whole education thing, and all.

So, shoot! Make it interesting, fools. Make me drag myself through the mud for your amusement

Do snails have assholes?

according to a paltry google search, yes, yes they do.

http://www.applesnail.net/content/anatomy/digestion.php

So you have an assho- I'm kidding. What's up with the new thread, Juski?

You know I have an asshole tattoo, right? On my arm? It's the Vonnegut symbol! So I get people cracking wise that I've branded myself as an asshole for the rest of my life. This much is true.

I don't know the whys and wherefores about this new thread, but I'm bored, and this will kill time for the next half hour or so before I head out on the town. Besides, this thread keeps me from getting froth-mouthed about people's choices of words in other threads.

So let's have some fun, this beat is sick.

At what point can a beat be termed as "sick?" When are they "ill," or "fresh." What level of "dope" is required.

Dear Mr. Juice,
My brother is getting married for a second time on the other side of the country. He's going to have a very traditional wedding. And by traditional I mean a giant coke-fuled rave with his san francisco party crowd. I will have a 5 month old at home. Do I have to a)care very much and b)go?

I'm not sure, but I sure as hell know Will Shortz has no clue:

http://gawker.com/5874539/

It's hard enough for me to keep up with my student's slang. Shit be sick, mo, blowin' me and makin me guh
Added at: 00:40

Espy said:

Dear Mr. Juice,
My brother is getting married for a second time on the other side of the country. He's going to have a very traditional wedding. And by traditional I mean a giant coke-fuled rave with his san francisco party crowd. I will have a 5 month old at home. Do I have to a)care very much and b)go?

Click to expand...

I'd definitely go, just skip the coke and the rave dancing, but the baby makes it a tricky wicket. If it's going to be so rowdy bringing the kid would be a turrible idea. I think it's best if you stay home and snort the cocaine you have there. Although I hear San Fransisco is a pretty bitchin part of the world to see...
Added at: 00:41
Or, shit, just send me. I won't do any coke, not my bag, but I'll party down for you in your absense. We can like bring an iPad and skype you in and shit.

Dude, tell me about it... It's interesting enough finding out what their terms for the police are.

(The Joes, the folks, po-po, 5-0 [less common these days], the pigs...)

I was also partial to "The fuzz", but that's because of that badass Supergrass song.

Is your dad a phone?

No, but he is an asshole (we've gone full circle!)

As assholes tend to do...

resisting urge to goatse thread....

Well, don't just sit there gaping....

Question For Juski:

Why is your vagina so full of sand?

Question #2 for Juski:

Why is mine?

Question #3 for Juski:

Did we scissor during my drink till blackout days?

Question #4 for Juski:

If so, when you are you due with my offspring?

also, the site I lifted this from was hilarious. It's called Hoax-slayer, some sort potential snopes wannabe., intent on proving if these types of images are legit.

This is a post from someone who claimed to be the person who took the picture

Saigawa

02/28/2012 04:15 PM
Once again, I took this picture with my cell phone while returning on my bike from a long ride in Japan many years ago. I thought it was cool, named it The Hands of God, and sent it to about 10 to 15 people on email. I had no idea that it would go viral although I should have guessed. The actual scene was much more impressive than what I could capture with my cellphone. There are two reasons there aren't many shots of this. First, Japanese aren't likely to look at clouds with God in mind as Buddhists. But the more important reason is that the area is on the West side of Japan, which is windy with many storms that time of year, so the formation was only there a short time. It was just a lucky shot. I have never used photoshop and don't own a camera except for the cell phone.

Click to expand...

when can i get at that

Shegokigo said:

Question For Juski:

Why is your vagina so full of sand?

Question #2 for Juski:

Why is mine?

Question #3 for Juski:

Did we scissor during my drink till blackout days?

Question #4 for Juski:

If so, when you are you due with my offspring?

Click to expand...

I don't think my vagina is full of sand; if we hung out in real life, you'd probably wouldn't figure me as being such a liberal pedant. But since it's a forum, and it's my spouting point of frustration, here we are. I get tired of people acting in boring and cliche, unfunny ways. I expect more from you people like I expect more from my ghetto-ass kids.

I have no idea why your vagina is full of sand, although you run a lot on the beach, which might be an issue.

I wish we did scissor; it might have been when I was dating that crazy bi-girl who most recently ripped my heart out and fed it to me bite by bite. Since then I've tried dating "non-crazy" girls, though I've found it quite boring. But the numbers I've acquired since then have been somewhat promising.

I don't acknowledge any babies. Enjoy paying for my progeny.

Bowielee said:

Spoiler

View attachment 4747

also, the site I lifted this from was hilarious. It's called Hoax-slayer, some sort potential snopes wannabe., intent on proving if these types of images are legit.

This is a post from someone who claimed to be the person who took the picture

Click to expand...

I just recently was able to teach my coworkers about Goatse, which, as its similar to my last name, they've decided to chide me by calling me Goatse as a joke. I'm not amused. Though I understand now the repercussions of showing coworkers goatse with my last name being my last name. SO IT GOES.

Chippy said:

when can i get at that

Click to expand...

amytime dogg. Chippy I miss your ass fool. Come double-team this stupid forum with me young
Added at: 07:57

Bowielee said:

resisting urge to goatse thread....

Click to expand...

goddamnit, see? I didn't even see this post until I posted my other post. SO THERE YOU GO

Should I drop two boring-ass courses and change majors: Y/N? Change faculties altogether?!

Also, why are children so fascinated with woodchuck efficiency?

Do what you think is best, it's your money. Spend it wisely!

I don't know why they're so fascinated, but really, I wish their scientists would figure that shit out already, so we can get them to focus on that cooties cure.