[Brazelton] Justin Carmical aka JewWario

AshburnerX

AshburnerX

Oh jeez... I've actually done a few things with this guy. Helped him out with things on his videos. He always seemed like a really stand-up guy and he really, legitimately cared about the people who watched and enjoyed his videos. I'm genuinely surprised this happened.

The current story seems to be that he was emotionally destroyed because he couldn't get his Famikamen Rider series off the ground, but he was doing better since he'd been doing things with other producers and had a new topic that was interesting to him. No one really saw this coming.
 
Bones

Bones

spoony has gotten a ton better, this came right out of left field. Vaya con dios Justin, you were a good guy who shuffled off the mortal coil far to soon...
 
Yoshimickster

Yoshimickster

My god, I don't know what to say. In his videos and the Channel Awesome stuff he just seemed so happy go lucky, life of the party and what not. This is a major shock to me, I may need to lay down.
 
Bones

Bones

I think what is most tragic is this, I listened to everyone who knew him talk on a radio show for 5-6 hours last night. They all said the same thing, He made no enemies, treated everyone as a human being worth their weight in gold, and every last person who was his friend would have gone to hell and back if they could prevent his untimely death. The world is truly darker for his passing, Spoony has suggested that it is possible his death has left a permanent black mark on the minds and souls of everyone he knew, a mark which will likely never be washed away. This is to say when the internet assholes mourn your passing, that your life had actual POSITIVE meaning. He was one of the ones, he was one of those special people who deserved better than a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
I dont say this often, many people can live and die and the world keeps turning unchanged, people get on with their lives and bury the pain, he might be one of those where the world is left profoundly changed for his passing. That is to say the world of people he has touched, he was obviously dealing with some dark shit that he successfully hid from everyone, even his wife and best friends, the shock from everyone was palpable. We can only hope something positive can be gained from this.
 
Bones

Bones

whats worst of all was she was there on the other side of the locked door pleading with him not do it. Her explaining in detail how it went down is something out of a Kafkaesque nightmare. That explanation was what made Spoony remark as he did. something went terribly wrong in the week leading up to his end, and we will never know what went through his head, he left no rhyme or reason behind.
 
Bowielee

Bowielee

Having suffered from depression before, I kind of understand the mindset of someone going through that pain. On the other hand, though, I feel like it's probably the single most selfish act that anyone can ever commit, especially when you have people who love you. Unfortunately, when you're in that mindset, you don't really believe that anyone loves you. It's all around terrible.
 
Bones

Bones

you know on a side note, that was the thing that really snapped me out of it when I was a freshman in college and considering the act while looking down at the muzzle of a .45, how selfish of me it would be to give up. I agree completely with everything you say. It continues to be heartbreaking to hear his friends say over and over that they would of done anything for him if he had just told them what was eating him alive. the gentleman whose radio show it was said he would have given him money, stayed with him, found him a consular, whatever he needed. Time will tell, but I continue to find the insinuation that so graphic and against what was perceived as his human nature his method of death that it may have permanently mentally affected his friends.
 
LittleSin

LittleSin

Oh man. His mom just posted a message.

I still can't believe it. This was a man that I took steps to know. He knew the name of my son and...just DAMN.
 
SpecialKO

SpecialKO

What's scary (speaking from unpleasant personal experience with a bad time) is that when you're depressed and you get that thought, it hits you like a bomb. Everything in your head comes crashing down all at once and there's nothing left but a devastating, horrible pain of unending despair that you're desperate to get away from. It wipes out all reason, and destroys any confidence you have that anything is right or ever will be again. All you want is for that feeling to be over. I was lucky in that my GF at the time was in the room when this feeling hit, and she stopped me and held me tight for hours until the feeling went away. And then she helped me find and call someone for help.

Those poor people who are left behind who blame themselves for not seeing it coming really should not (as best as they are able). Just because someone is depressed doesn't mean that they need to be on suicide watch all the time, and sometimes that horrible moment is so fast and terrifying that there is nothing that anyone who is not that someone in the first place can do. Only one person is responsible, in the end.
 
ScytheRexx

ScytheRexx

Depression can be a cruel mistress.

The one thing I don't understand, however, is the fact he did it while his wife pleaded with him from the other side of the door. I just can't grasp that he would put her through that situation.

Back in high school I suffered from heavy depression and considered ending my life more then once, but each time I did I always imagined my father walking into my silent, empty room, knowing I was gone, and busting into tears. That image stopped me cold every time, and it was just a fantasy. I could never put any of my family through the actual event right next to me.

Part of me is angry at him for that, but the whole thing is a tragedy none the less.
 
bhamv3

bhamv3

ScytheRexx said:
Depression can be a cruel mistress.

The one thing I don't understand, however, is the fact he did it while his wife pleaded with him from the other side of the door. I just can't grasp that he would put her through that situation.

Back in high school I suffered from heavy depression and considered ending my life more then once, but each time I did I always imagined my father walking into my silent, empty room, knowing I was gone, and busting into tears. That image stopped me cold every time, and it was just a fantasy. I could never put any of my family through the actual event right next to me.

Part of me is angry at him for that, but the whole thing is a tragedy none the less.
Click to expand...
The flames grew too hot and he jumped. That's all that went through his mind at the time.

EDIT: In case it wasn't clear, I'm referencing this quote by David Foster Wallace:

The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn't do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life's assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire's flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It's not desiring the fall; it's terror of the flames. Yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don‘t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You'd have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling.
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figmentPez

figmentPez

Staff member
A friend of mine draws stick figure comics to try to express herself as she struggles with depression and other issues. This one hit particularly close to home this week:

everyone-is-awesome sm.jpg


I know a lot of great people who truly believe the first, but struggle so much at being able to see themselves with as much love and kindness as they see others.
 
bhamv3

bhamv3

figmentPez said:
A friend of mine draws stick figure comics to try to express herself as she struggles with depression and other issues. This one hit particularly close to home this week:

View attachment 13721

I know a lot of great people who truly believe the first, but struggle so much at being able to see themselves with as much love and kindness as they see others.
Click to expand...
Can I yoink this? And who can I give credit to?
 
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