Export thread

This will be text based adventure game. It will NOT be on first come first serve bases, I'll decide who's action to follow.



You are DaVE. You awake to find yourself trapped in a room with no doors. You have a COON-SKIN HaT. There is a POSTER OF HaL on the wall. There is a BOOKCaSE on the right wall. What will you do?

God DAMN is this a scary game!

I take a look behind the bookcase to see if there is a door there or anything interesting behind it.

speak to the poster of HaL and ask it to open the bay doors.

Yell at the top of your lungs, telling the world you are as cool as Davy Crockett.

Push the big red button hidden by the Poster to open up the secret passage behind the bookcase, which leads to the server room!

Poke HaL in the Eye!

Sing the Davy Crockett theme song.

Start reading. Any other type of exertion and DaVE is liable to break a hip.

I think all answers should be in the form of MS Paint pictures.

Read every book. Convert knowledge to power. Throw bookcase through wall.

Well, I'd look around to see what else is there. After I saw, I'd take the saw and saw the bookshelf in half. Two halves make a whole, so then I would crawl through the hole and out of the room.

:smug:

General Specific said:

Well, I'd look around to see what else is there. After I saw, I'd take the saw and saw the bookshelf in half. Two halves make a whole, so then I would crawl through the hole and out of the room.

:smug:

Click to expand...

Win

Silver Jelly;342752][QUOTE=General Specific said:

Well, I'd look around to see what else is there. After I saw, I'd take the saw and saw the bookshelf in half. Two halves make a whole, so then I would crawl through the hole and out of the room.

:smug:

Click to expand...

Win[/QUOTE]

OLD joke!

I masturbate furiously. After failing to find a solution I paper cut myself to death. The end.

Chazwozel said:

I masturbate furiously. After failing to find a solution I paper cut myself to death. The end.

Click to expand...

Great. Just like LAST weekend.

Forgot to mention my "a" key is broken...so ignore my constant use of lower case a's.

You opt to poke the HaL POSTER in the EYE.



The HaL POSTER does not like this...but it does reveal SECRET DOORWaY. You hope angering the HaL POSTER has no repercussions. What do you do?

You pick up a book from the shelf and throw it through the secret door to see if anything happens.

You pick up Beyond Good and Evil off of a bookshelf and throw it into the darkness, waiting to hear a sound.

BLARGH ninjad! But I had more detail so I win.

A

hey CG your a mod why not simply edit it so that you were not ninjad?


Come on abuse your power join the dork side

I couldn't do that... it would make the penguins in your avatar picture all sad. At least that's what I told myself so I'd choose not to screw with your post.

Summon the ancient ancestral raccoon spirit trapped in your coon skin hat and ask it for advice...and a sandwich.

Cajungal said:

I couldn't do that... it would make the penguins in your avatar picture all sad. At least that's what I told myself so I'd choose not to screw with your post.

Click to expand...

It happened anyways

NOOOOOO!

Don't feel too bad about that penguin, Seej. There are sadder things in the world. For example, the saddest thing is when the toilet from an abandoned space station falls back to earth, lands upside-down on a child who was playing alone in the backyard, and smooshes them into the shape of half a hard-boiled egg. And when they lift the toilet off of the child, two lips at the top of the bloody mound say, on their dying breath, "I love you, mommy."

You THROW a BOOK through the SECRET DOORWaY!





Someone swears, then there is an explosion! The SECRET DOORWaY is still dark and mysterious after the smoke clears. What is your next move?

Allen said:

Don't feel too bad about that penguin, Seej. There are sadder things in the world. For example, the saddest thing is when the toilet from an abandoned space station falls back to earth, lands upside-down on a child who was playing alone in the backyard, and smooshes them into the shape of half a hard-boiled egg. And when they lift the toilet off of the child, two lips at the top of the bloody mound say, on their dying breath, "I love you, mommy."

Click to expand...

Great, now I'm a sad panda

Check the book shelf for a gun

Take off the coonskin cap and wiggle the tail in the darkness.

-Leslie, who is Cautious

Use one of the shelves to hold the cap out across the opening while I (we) stay safely back from the doorway.

Boldly venture into the dark, smokey passage. Suck it up guys! This is our way out!

Yell "Helllloooooooo" into the darkness.

That brain's got balls.

Shout through the doorway "Sorry about that Old Bean!" in a terribly fake british accent and stride boldly through.

Cajungal said:

That brain's got balls.

Click to expand...

I kinda want to see that drawn in Paint and at the same time, I kinda don't...

He's got a lot of brains and he's got a lot of... chutzpah.

Throw book after book until the explosions stop.

Check bookshelf for Augustine La Guardia's How to Explore Dark Explosive Foul-Mouthed Caves.

Take clothes off and then sexily strut into the room/corridor beyond.

Mention that you could go for some coolaid, but you don't have any! OH NO!

Then wait for a safer exit to appear.

.

You shout through the SECRET DOORWaY: "Sorry about that Old Bean!"



You stride in to the room and a light turns on. a voice says "I hope you're sorry!"



You re faced with a BRaIN ith GIGaNTIC BaLLS sitting on CHaIR. It says "at least the most important parts of me are intact."



What do you do?

Looks like Dave has a replacement coon skin cap!

Demand to know why a brain with gigantic balls is sitting in a chair in a secret room in your house.

Question the arbitrary use of censorship, which an intellectual such as the Mr. Mind Detective there should be far beyond needing.

Kick the brain's balls.

I'm gone to bed for the night! I'll start fresh in the morning. I'm loving doing this!

put the coonskin hat on the brain

strip naked to put the brain at ease since it won't be the only thing with it's balls out.

Present your own balls to the brain, to compare and contrast.

since they're both pink and wrinkly, how do you know where brain ends and balls begin?

Hair.

filmfanatic said:

Kick the brain's balls.

Click to expand...

Only if you want to hurt your foot!

You place your COON SKIN HaT on the BRAIN WITH GIGANTIC BALLS. It seems happy.

"h! It's much easier to think now that I'm warm. What would you like to know?"

How do you proceed?

Ask him the question to the answer to the ultimate question of life, teh universe, and everything.

That's for the brain to know and you to never know! muahahahahaha!

Ask the brain where his ball-less body is.

Tell the brain "You are pretty ballsy. Now, how do I get out of here? Oh and you can keep the hat."

Look at magnifying glass
Take magnifying glass

Seek out adventure in the dark corridors beyond!

(and make a pun about male pattern balling)

Ask him how to make a proper treehouse.

Get ye flask.

*shakes head* Gusto, Gusto, Gusto. You can't get ye flask.

Man I guess I'm gonna just have to sit here and figure out why.

LEST YOUR HUBRIS DESTROY YOU.

---------- Post added at 04:54 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:54 PM ----------

I MEAN YE.

I FLEW TOO CLOSE TO YE FLASK

"You are pretty ballsy. Now, how do I get out of here? Oh and you can keep the hat."




"I will keep this hat, thank you." Replies the Brain. "as to getting out of here...that's tricky. You are the latest victim of one SHEGOKIGO. She has been kidnapping people from all over the globe to wander in her labyrinth. She is kind to the women she kidnps but the men re not so fortunate. So...you're shit out of luck. You can make it out of here though, the past visctims have left ll sorts of tools to help you out. Here, I'll even get you started."

You receive a GENERALLY SPECIFIC BaG. You receive a MAGNIFYING GLaSS.



What do you do?

Open the bag. Look inside.

Place the bag onto the brain's balls to turn it into a ball sack

Go north

Look into the bag using the magnifying glass.

Look into the magnifying glass using the bag

Are there any hot chicks there? If there are, I wanna dooooo theeeeem

Calleja said:

Are there any hot chicks there? If there are, I wanna dooooo theeeeem

Click to expand...

You're not there! You're at the bar!

I ATTACK THE DARKNESS!

You look inside the Generally SPECIFIC BaG with your MaGNIFYING GLaSS.



You find a terrible joke. You are filled with RaGE.

What do you do?

EDIT: Dmn. Tha't tiny. One moment!

EDIT2: I give up. I can't get it bigger for some reason. So..that's the better Nate then Lever joke in there.

Oh snap. got 2 right already.you guys better pack it in!

Read the Joke aloud loud,hoping rage filled howls will tell you if there are other people around.

Put the brain into the bag to be tormented by the bad joke, then look around the room.

use my rage to do a Kool-Aid man maneuver on the far wall.

Oh yeah! I'm the juggernaut bitch!

BAN THE BAG! HE VIOLATED THE RULES!

Soliloquy said:

BAN THE BAG! HE VIOLATED THE RULES!

Click to expand...

OH SH-!

I say where the brain as a hat for pissing you off with the joke.

I say use the magnifying glass to try and catch the bag on fire.

You place the BRaIN WITH GIGaTIC BaLLS on you head. You re now wearing a BRaIN WITH GIGaTIC BaLLS and a COON SKIN HaT.

What do you do?

go introduce the brain to Hal

Either that's a big head, or your idea of "gigantic balls" is different than mine.

Maybe she meant in proportion to its "body." And anyway... it's a brain with testicles. It's a feat.

My suggestion: Dave saunters confidently through the darkness, singing "Side by Side" with his new be-testicled Brain friend.

Look around to see what else is in the room or possible exits.

The next door appears!



You march through into the darkness with you brainy companion singing "Side by Side". Surely nothing can stop you now!



What is your next move!?

Start wishing that I had brought a light of some sort.

Cast Magic Missile at the darkness

"Computer! Increase illumination!"

You bump into something big and hairy.

Fondle it.

You demand that HaL turn on the lights. "Computer! Increase Illumination!"

a voice from the darkness responds "I'm sorry Dave. I can't do that."

as a result you slip on something the darkness and land flat on your ass.



What do you do?

You've crushed the brain. He's badly injured.

Eat the brain, that way I'll gain its knowledge and probably find out what to do next.

You apologize to the brain, but extend appreciation that it's balls broke your fall and prevented head injury.

Then you grope around in the dark, looking for a light source.

You get up and examine what it was exactly that made you slip

Not responding today...I feel like shit. I really don't want to arse around in Pint.

Find the reason for your slippage. If it's a banana peel, prepare the sacrificial Fay Wray.

find the supercomputer and challenge it to a game of Thermonuclear War.