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Life changing events

#1

MindDetective

MindDetective

Is there any way to really, fully prepare for them?
Surprise2.png



*gulp!*


#2

Cheesy1

Cheesy1

Congrats!


#3

Krisken

Krisken

Congrats to the little swimmer that got through!


#4

LittleSin

LittleSin

Awwwwwwwwwwesome!

So, um, did they tell you which part of the baby that is? :p


#5

Krisken

Krisken

The blob part?


#6

LittleSin

LittleSin

I think it may be the heart but it could be something more depending how far along the missus is.

I know my ultrasound was at three months and at that point they coul tell me the gender and everything. To bad they didn't look at the face closer, though. At that pint that would have been able to tell me about Jets condition but they just didn't look for it. :p


#7

linglingface

linglingface

Wow congratulations!! XD


#8

grub

grub

Congratz. And to answer your question, No. There is nothing anyone can say or do to fully prepare you for Parenthood.


#9

figmentPez

figmentPez

Yes congrats! Further proof that geeks can breed!


#10



Wasabi Poptart

Congratulations!


#11

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

I'd send you conga rats but the last batch got eaten by the mambo wallabee.

So, congratulations to you and the missus! When's Mind Detective Jr. due? :)


#12

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

Woot! Grats to yinz n'at!


#13

@Li3n

@Li3n

MindDetective said:
Is there any way to really, fully prepare for them?
Click to expand...
Fake ID and plane ticket to a country with no extradition treaties with yours...


#14

MindDetective

MindDetective

LittleSin said:
I think it may be the heart but it could be something more depending how far along the missus is.

I know my ultrasound was at three months and at that point they coul tell me the gender and everything. To bad they didn't look at the face closer, though. At that pint that would have been able to tell me about Jets condition but they just didn't look for it. :p
Click to expand...
This was taken at 7.5 weeks. It's just a little kidney bean right now.



North_Ranger said:
I'd send you conga rats but the last batch got eaten by the mambo wallabee.

So, congratulations to you and the missus! When's Mind Detective Jr. due? :)
Click to expand...
October 2nd!


Thanks for the well-wishes everyone :)


#15



Jiarn

With two birth children, one step son and a new child on the way (in about a year), I can tell you that yes, there actually are many ways to prepare. Creating a living space for the new addition, practice with pets for years, lots of reading on the subject of rearing and raising.

After all that preparation: You'll still feel completely lost, helpless at times and all around grateful that life has gone the way it has. It really is a mixed bag of emotions throughout the entire thing, just remember: Do your best, give it all the love you can, and guide it to be a good and decent person and you'll have succeeded.

The preparation helps though, alot.


#16

strawman

strawman

Congrats!

MindDetective said:
Is there any way to really, fully prepare for them?
Click to expand...
Yes, but it involves a small, smooth pebble, a small quantity of water, a broken blade of fresh grass, and about 3.5 million metric tonnes of anti-matter.

Barring that, the best you can do is just go with the flow and take things one second/minute/hour/day/week/month at a time.

Usually one second at a time post birth...

MindDetective said:
*gulp!*
Click to expand...
Indeed.


#17

Dave

Dave

She's got to hold out an extra day. October 3 is a GREAT day to be born!


#18

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

HE SHOOTS! HE SCORES!

A friend of mine actually said that when the doctor told them that his wife was pregnant.


#19

Jay

Jay

Congrats!


#20

drawn_inward

drawn_inward

Congratulations MindDetective and Mrs. MD!!


#21

Gryfter

Gryfter

Congrats MD! And what Jiarn said.


#22

Hylian

Hylian

Congrats on the awesome news MD :)


#23

drifter

drifter

Mazel tov!


#24



Biannoshufu

Congrats!

Things I wished someone had told me prior to becoming a mom:
warm the water for the breastmilk or formula in a pyrex cup in the microwave 4 minutes max, NEVER the milk or formula itself, and drop the bottle in the pyrex cup till the water heats it to an appropriate temperature. Buy at least twice as many diapers as you think you need, and ship them from amazon.com. Skip dumb gifts like wipe warmers no matter how star trek utopian they seem. (you can get by just using warm wash cloths warmed under the tap.)

Create diaper changing stations on each floor of the house, and in several places. Make sure the changing areas are large enough to accommodate a squirmer.

Buy a swing rocker, and a Johnny Jump Up ( hangs from the lintels) Get used to not sleeping. Get used to doing EVERY chore your wife partner did before she got pregnant. Take up relatives offers on household help but always remember, parents have the final say, and this goes double for baby advice... if it sounds stupid or insane, just say "thank you, I'll remember that" and promptly forget it.

And hang on for a wild wild ride.


#25



Jiarn

Pretty excellent and experienced advice from Biannoshufu for sure. It's been so long since I've had an infant or a toddler, I tend to forget the things that come with that.


#26

MindDetective

MindDetective

Yes, I liked all of that advice. Thanks!


#27

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Eating babies = Bad.


#28

Neon Pirate

Neon Pirate

Congratulations! There is really no way to prepare so...enjoy the ride, learn from the mistakes, expect to make plenty since it's all on-the-job training, don't sweat the small stuff, revel in the laughter and make time to play. Godspeed and good luck!


#29

redthirtyone

redthirtyone

Biannoshufu said:
Buy at least twice as many diapers as you think you need, and ship them from amazon.com.
Click to expand...
This. Apparently MANY people follow this advice, judging from the amount I personally witness being shipped every day (and we thank them for it
)


#30

linglingface

linglingface

North_Ranger said:
Eating babies = Bad.
Click to expand...
Reading this while looking at your avatar is win.


#31

Neon Pirate

Neon Pirate

redthirtyone said:
This. Apparently MANY people follow this advice, judging from the amount I personally witness being shipped every day (and we thank them for it :D)
Click to expand...
Are you at the New Castle, DE fulfillment center Red? If so I'll wave on the way by!


#32

CrimsonSoul

CrimsonSoul

Krisken said:
The blob part?
Click to expand...
This was made better because of the house avatar


#33

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

heatherling said:
Reading this while looking at your avatar is win.
Click to expand...
Plingons are ALWAYS win.

Dwarf: "Tactical is still lacking a chair!"
Data: "We wouldn't want your massive glutes to atrophy, now would we?"

Dwarf: "Plingons do not shower!"


#34

redthirtyone

redthirtyone

Neon Pirate said:
Are you at the New Castle, DE fulfillment center Red? If so I'll wave on the way by!
Click to expand...
No - I'm a ship clerk at the biggest FC in the world, Lexington KY. We shipped over 750K items in a 24-hr period this past december, over 4 million in a week. *phew* Just 10 more months til we can do it again :eek:


#35

strawman

strawman

Relevant to your interests: http://www.shoeboxblog.com/?p=23629


#36

fade

fade

IMO: best book ever written was Babywise. You can ignore the mushy religious parts, but the cycle stuff is great. Worked for our kids like a charm. Sleep through the night by 8 weeks if you can just muffle that part of your instincts that makes you think a little crying is an emergency (assuming all needs have been met).


#37

Tress

Tress

I'm a little late to the party, but congratulations!

If you're looking for a baby book with humor, a friend of mine highly recommends The Baby Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Trouble-Shooting Tips, and Advice on First-Year Maintenance.


#38



Joe Johnson

There is something I could tell you to prepare for it fully....but where would the fun in that be.


#39

MindDetective

MindDetective

Joe Johnson said:
There is something I could tell you to prepare for it fully....but where would the fun in that be.
Click to expand...
You could always lie?


#40

Espy

Espy

Congrats man!


#41



Biannoshufu

MindDetective said:
Yes, I liked all of that advice. Thanks!
Click to expand...
also, if you guys choose to breast feed http://www.llli.org/WebUS.html is a great resource.

It's been a few years since Eric was born, so some of my advice is rusty, but star saving for a child college savings account now. Also the What to expect website http://www.whattoexpect.com/ is useful for week by week stuff, and if you sign up there En Famil will ship you a box of free formula (Scary)

The good news is that it can seem scary or absolute hell at times, but you can get through it, and you will. And when you do you'll find you can do pretty much anything you need to do.
Good luck!


#42

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Congrats, brah!

Having gone through this relatively recently, I can say that this is all very, VERY sound advice (Amy, where were you with that pyrex advice? Wish I'd known that before melting a couple bottles. *grins*)

Also: for newborn clothes, just get a handful of onesies and, depending on local climate, something to bundle in for going outside. They grow out of clothes so ridiculously fast, it's saddening and maddening at the same time. Down here there's a kind of thrift store that sells lightly-used baby clothes, toys and accoutrements at really cheap prices. Check around for stuff like that.

Something I wish we had in the area is family. Both of ours are out of state, so my wife's been trooping through it all by herself. If you get offers to sit for baby, hang on to them. Trust me; she's going to want a break later, no matter how good your child is or how devoted she is to it. It's not a reflection on her or the child, but too much of anything without a break wears on a person.

As has been said, get used to lack of sleep, but you might get lucky, too. Rhiannon is usually good about dropping off after a diaper change and a bottle, combined with some singing.

Also: Diaper genie = MAGIC.


#43

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

You do realize we want pictures of Rhi now, don't you, Charon? ;)


#44

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Yeah yeah... just got a whole bunch done, will post when I remember to when I'm at home.


#45

Mathias

Mathias

"It's never the right time to have kids, but it's always the right time for screwing. God's not a dumbshit. He knows how it works."


Congrats!


#46

MindDetective

MindDetective

Officer_Charon said:
Congrats, brah!

Having gone through this relatively recently, I can say that this is all very, VERY sound advice (Amy, where were you with that pyrex advice? Wish I'd known that before melting a couple bottles. *grins*)

Also: for newborn clothes, just get a handful of onesies and, depending on local climate, something to bundle in for going outside. They grow out of clothes so ridiculously fast, it's saddening and maddening at the same time. Down here there's a kind of thrift store that sells lightly-used baby clothes, toys and accoutrements at really cheap prices. Check around for stuff like that.

Something I wish we had in the area is family. Both of ours are out of state, so my wife's been trooping through it all by herself. If you get offers to sit for baby, hang on to them. Trust me; she's going to want a break later, no matter how good your child is or how devoted she is to it. It's not a reflection on her or the child, but too much of anything without a break wears on a person.

As has been said, get used to lack of sleep, but you might get lucky, too. Rhiannon is usually good about dropping off after a diaper change and a bottle, combined with some singing.

Also: Diaper genie = MAGIC.
Click to expand...
My wife is very thrifty!


#47



Wasabi Poptart

Biannoshufu said:
The good news is that it can seem scary or absolute hell at times, but you can get through it, and you will. And when you do you'll find you can do pretty much anything you need to do.
Good luck!
Click to expand...
This. Sometimes the bad times are beyond bad, but the thing to remember is that it's only temporary. Kids get sick, but they get better. Kids have stages they go through, but it passes. And you learn as you go along.


#48

fade

fade

I have to disagree on the Diaper Genie. We had one for our son, but it failed as much as it worked, and it was so heavily perfumed, the diapers smelled like candy-coated poop. With our daughter, we just used a good ol' fashioned pail lined with grocery bags. Worked as well, and it was free.


#49

LittleSin

LittleSin

Yeh. I never really used my diaper genie. It just sits in his nursery, taking up room. I just tossed a garbage can in there.


#50



Biannoshufu

we also found these useful for propping mom up for early day breastfeeding, then propping him up for learning how to sit up. boppy's like these can be found at a second hand store, just make sure to get one with a washable cover.


And that's another bit of advice, double your laundry washing budget. Get a bunch of reusable diapers to clean up puke with. Baby sized wash cloths are unnecessary, but double up on washcloths, square foot or larger foam/waterproof pads, and towels, etc. And yes, never ever shop at a baby clothes store unless it's second hand. I spent $7,000 during the first few months of the pregnancy on "oh my god that's sooo cuuuttteee" clothes by four months into Eric's life, I had returned almost all of it since it was just stupid and or nonfitting.

Also, I found that about the 7th month into the pregnancy, watching this http://bit.ly/eRBDmU was really helpful for curing the random "oh my god I'm going to kill a baby on accident!" fears. We seriously thought of moving to mongolia.

And Eric's birthmom had her own favorite piece of advice:

sleep when the baby sleeps. Do not try to use that time to get work done.


#51

fade

fade

I second the Boppy. That's a good one, Amy. Also, the Baby Bjorn seems to be pretty good.

As far as clothes go, find a friend with an older kid born around the same time of year (so the seasons match up). I've barely bought a stitch of clothing for my kids (until my son went to school). And we pass 'em on down to our friends.


#52

MindDetective

MindDetective

I'm not responding much here but I am noting every little bit of advice! Some of it we're aware of already but it doesn't hurt to hear your stories. Thanks. :)


#53

Null

Null

Good luck.


#54

Espy

Espy

MindDetective said:
I'm not responding much here but I am noting every little bit of advice! Some of it we're aware of already but it doesn't hurt to hear your stories. Thanks. :)
Click to expand...
Oh yeah, advice, I forgot. Here ya go, this one's free: It might look perfect for a baby but no matter how tempted you are do NOT use a dog kennel to carry your baby around in. People will look at you funny and no one wants that.


#55



Jiarn

My daughter was small enough that we used the cat kennel.

Convience of child transportation > funny looks.


#56

LittleSin

LittleSin

I am going to add that I subscribed to Todays Parent magazine after Jet was born. Everyone laughed at me but, I swear to God, it has been an invaluable source of information for me. Some of the advice will conflict from issue to issue but I find it gives you the information necessary to make your own parenting decisions. :)


#57



Wasabi Poptart

I would also like to add that your child is not going to be like everyone else's. People told me how wonderful the baby swings are. Both of my kids hated them with a fiery passion. Baby Bjorn or slings were supposed to be these wonderful items, too. My son was too big for the Baby Bjorn by the time he was 6 months old. My daughter screamed bloody murder when she was in a baby carrying sling. Don't let anyone convince you or your wife that you *have* to do anything or else you're a bad parent. I had trouble breast feeding my son when he was an infant and switched to formula after trying lactation consultants (3 or 4 of them to be exact), drinking special teas, taking dietary supplements, getting a prescription from our pediatrician, and so on. I felt like I was the worst mother on the planet and not worthy of being a woman because I was unable to give my baby what was "best". Guess what. Turns out I did give him what was best - my love - because at the end of the day that is all that really matters. You don't need special clothes or pillows or cribs. Love that child with all your heart and everything will be fine.


#58

Mathias

Mathias

Wasabi Poptart said:
I would also like to add that your child is not going to be like everyone else's. People told me how wonderful the baby swings are. Both of my kids hated them with a fiery passion. Baby Bjorn or slings were supposed to be these wonderful items, too. My son was too big for the Baby Bjorn by the time he was 6 months old. My daughter screamed bloody murder when she was in a baby carrying sling. Don't let anyone convince you or your wife that you *have* to do anything or else you're a bad parent. I had trouble breast feeding my son when he was an infant and switched to formula after trying lactation consultants (3 or 4 of them to be exact), drinking special teas, taking dietary supplements, getting a prescription from our pediatrician, and so on. I felt like I was the worst mother on the planet and not worthy of being a woman because I was unable to give my baby what was "best". Guess what. Turns out I did give him what was best - my love - because at the end of the day that is all that really matters. You don't need special clothes or pillows or cribs. Love that child with all your heart and everything will be fine.
Click to expand...

My best advice rolls along with Wasabi...

In the end, YOU know what's best for your kid. So be wary of getting information overload. I've learned that parenthood is a learn as you go thing.

And I say this without spite, but don't listen a word from anyone who doesn't have kids. They don't know jack shit.


#59

Krisken

Krisken

Pfft, whatever man. My baseless advice is the shit.


#60

CrimsonSoul

CrimsonSoul

If it's a boy and you're changing his diaper have a single wipe nearby, whenever you take off the babies diaper immediately throw the wipe over the baby's naughty bits and instead of peeing on you, it will pee on the wipe. Saved me a few pee baths in my day.


#61

LittleSin

LittleSin

CrimsonSoul said:
If it's a boy and you're changing his diaper have a single wipe nearby, whenever you take off the babies diaper immediately throw the wipe over the baby's naughty bits and instead of peeing on you, it will pee on the wipe. Saved me a few pee baths in my day.
Click to expand...
This, this, THIS.


#62

fade

fade

Yeah, along with what Wasabi said, this is all happy free advice, but don't be afraid to question it or turn it down. And one thing I hated as a parent when my children were very young was all the "helpful" people whose idea of giving you advice was to politely tell you that you were doing it wrong. And there are a LOT of those. Most of them well-meaning, but a candy coated piece of poo is still a piece of poo. Or (hypocritical, I know) all those people who come out of the woodwork with advice when you really don't want it. Sometimes you just want to tell them to fuck off.


#63



Jiarn

I nearly shot my girlfriend's sister on a NUMBER of occassions because she was taking a child raising class in college, though she had no children of her own. Her "advice" nearly cost me my sanity.


#64

strawman

strawman

Jiarn said:
I nearly shot my girlfriend's sister on a NUMBER of occassions because she was taking a child raising class in college, though she had no children of her own. Her "advice" nearly cost me my sanity.
Click to expand...
"I used to have several theories about raising children. Now I have several children and no theories."


#65

Emrys

Emrys

Never listen to any of my advice when it comes to babies.


#66

strawman

strawman

Emrys said:
Never listen to any of my advice when it comes to babies.
Click to expand...
I'm still mad about finding out that babies don't "bounce like a rubber ball." Last time I listen to you, let me tell you.


#67

Emrys

Emrys

First Lady Puffinstuff said:
I'm still mad about finding out that babies don't "bounce like a rubber ball." Last time I listen to you, let me tell you.
Click to expand...
Hey, it's not my fault that baby didn't have springs in his diaper. And evidently, they don't smoke cigars. Or shave. Or have tattoos.
Stupid Warner Bros and their lies about babies.


#68



Biannoshufu

I keep coming back to this thread and laughing my ass off thinking "he has no idea..."

Cruel, right?


#69

strawman

strawman

Biannoshufu said:
I keep coming back to this thread and laughing my ass off thinking "he has no idea..."

Cruel, right?
Click to expand...
Actually it's a common symptom of PTSD. Quite frankly I'm surprised more parents aren't diagnosed with it...


#70



Wasabi Poptart

I still laugh about how tired I was when my daughter was still an infant. I was nursing her after her bath one night and started having this amazing hallucination of sorts. I was looking at a jar of solid cocoa butter on my dresser and thinking to myself that it would be nice to swim in it. "I'll have to try that once she's asleep" was the thought that snapped me back to reality. lmao


#71



Jiarn

My favorite one, was when I watched a pile of laundry, lift itself up about 2-3 inches off the floor, then shamble across the hallway to set itself down again.

I went to my mother's house, handed her my 3yr old and 1yr old and passed out for a good 10hrs.


#72

Mathias

Mathias

Biannoshufu said:
I keep coming back to this thread and laughing my ass off thinking "he has no idea..."

Cruel, right?
Click to expand...
I dunno, it hasn't been that bad for me...

And I got a 1 year old dumped on me when I just graduated from college...


#73

@Li3n

@Li3n

Hey Mind Detective, i found your kid it's name: http://bethblog.com/index.php/2011/...eation-engines/comment-page-2/#comment-194293


#74

Adam

Adammon

Mathias said:
I dunno, it hasn't been that bad for me...

And I got a 1 year old dumped on me when I just graduated from college...
Click to expand...
Wait, how does that work?


#75

MindDetective

MindDetective

@Li3n said:
Hey Mind Detective, i found your kid it's name: http://bethblog.com/index.php/2011/...eation-engines/comment-page-2/#comment-194293
Click to expand...
Hehe, I saw that earlier. Our little sleep-depriver is coming around October 2nd.


#76



Biannoshufu

Mathias said:
I dunno, it hasn't been that bad for me...

And I got a 1 year old dumped on me when I just graduated from college...
Click to expand...
mindbending situations = meconium to sippycup era > post meconium to sippycup era


#77

Mathias

Mathias

Adammon said:
Wait, how does that work?
Click to expand...
Long story, I don't really feel like explaining it.

Short version: My brother died. Hello, nephew.


#78

Adam

Adammon

Mathias said:
Long story, I don't really feel like explaining it.

Short version: My brother died. Hello, nephew.
Click to expand...
That's a pretty awesome thing to do. I thought it was one of those "Mat went to Europe for a summer. 9 months later, a nice Yugoslavian baby was delivered to his door."


#79

Null

Null

There's not such thing as a nice Yugoslavian baby.


#80

MindDetective

MindDetective

*bump*

A little over three weeks ago, my wife had her third ultra-sound. We asked them to note the baby's sex but put it in an envelope. At the baby shower today, we opened that envelope up and learned the sex at the same time as everyone else. Ladies and gentlemen, we're expecting a boy! :)


#81

Cajungal

Cajungal

Congratulations!


#82

Krisken

Krisken

Congratulations!


#83

Gusto

Gusto

A little fella!


#84



Wasabi Poptart

YAY! Congratulations :D


#85

Emrys

Emrys

Bravo!


#86

Adam

Adammon

No surprise stienman liked that, you can start collecting boys too.


#87

Espy

Espy

Congrats!!! I'll buy him his first pack of cigs when he's born!


#88

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Congratulations!


#89

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

Congratulations!


#90

fade

fade

Congratulations!


#91

strawman

strawman

Adammon said:
No surprise stienman liked that, you can start collecting boys too.
Click to expand...
Ha ha ha.

But seriously. You can't have mine.


#92

fade

fade

If you get doubles, you can swap.


#93

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Now you'll have someone to avenge your death. Conga rats!


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