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We haven't had a good punning thread in awhile. Time to get hopped up on punicilin.

-I once knew a spirited travelling salesman. He travelled ghost to ghost.
-People who rope you into things are a noosence.
-Last night, I dreamt I was a muffler. This morning, I woke up exhausted.

I have no choice... I must subject you to the work of a past acquaintance.

How did I miss this?! Marvelous.

-I decided to bicycle into work instead of driving my car, but it always left me two-tired.
-Public transportation was getting too spendy, so I decided to walk instead of going bused.
-I got my engagement ring back after the poodle I intend to show swallowed it last week. The vet agreed that it really was a diamond in the ruff.

--Patrick
(you got the stomach for more? I'm game!)

From the real-life Stambovsky v. Ackley case, as mentioned by the judge:

While I agree with Supreme Court that the real estate broker, as agent for the seller, is under no duty to disclose to a potential buyer the phantasmal reputation of the premises and that, in his pursuit of a legal remedy for fraudulent misrepresentation against the seller, plaintiff hasn't a ghost of a chance, I am nevertheless moved by the spirit of equity to allow the buyer to seek rescission of the contract of sale and recovery of his down payment...From the perspective of a person in the position of plaintiff herein, a very practical problem arises with respect to the discovery of a paranormal phenomenon: "Who you gonna call?" as a title song to the movie "Ghostbusters" asks. Applying the strict rule of caveat emptor to a contract involving a house possessed by poltergeists conjures up visions of a psychic or medium routinely accompanying the structural engineer and Terminix man on an inspection of every home subject to a contract of sale. It portends that the prudent attorney will establish an escrow account lest the subject of the transaction come back to haunt him and his client — or pray that his malpractice insurance coverage extends to supernatural disasters. In the interest of avoiding such untenable consequences, the notion that a haunting is a condition which can and should be ascertained upon reasonable inspection of the premises is a hobgoblin which should be exorcised from the body of legal precedent and laid quietly to rest.

I know most people really despise puns. However, most true word lovers have groaned to love them.

Heh heh. I'm using that one.