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Literally. The guy doesn't shower. He just sat down in my chair to go over data and all I get are whiffs of B.O. and ass. God, I hate work some days.

Pfft. That's easy.

Grab the emergency firehose and hose that fucker down!

You know what to give him next gift giving holiday...

You work in a lab, right? Wait until he's there next time and "accidentally" spill something that requires all of you to sanitize.

"Oh shit! This has gone radioactive! Quick! Everyone to decontamination!"

Dave said:

You work in a lab, right? Wait until he's there next time and "accidentally" spill something that requires all of you to sanitize.

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Most of that stuff stinks worse than he does!

Sounds like a 10 cent solution to me.

Start commenting about it to your co-workers, and then the jokes will start, and pretty soon it'll become an office joke and it's inevitable that he'll hear about it and get all self conscious and finally shower.

That's what we did with a teacher in high school. It wasn't PLANNED, mind you, but it worked.

Anonymously leave a gift basket of shower gel and soaps on his desk

Eeeew, I hate that. Last summer I worked in a VERY tiny call center with a girl who, I'm pretty sure, didn't use deodorant. The fan would waft her stench over to me, and if I turned the fan off it, was ridiculously stuffy. So I dealt with the smell for 2.5 months.

There's only one thing to do...
UUUUUUUNNNNNIOOOOOONNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!

Oh, shit.

I laughed.

Pfft. I prefer Braveshark.

Covar said:

There's only one thing to do...
UUUUUUUNNNNNIOOOOOONNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!

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HAHA! The only solution!!!!!!!!!

what was worse, I used to support our call center, and one of those guys did not have the best hygiene or dietary habits. His chair smelled of ass. It was like he sharted in it once a day or something. If he got up to let me sit down, I'd slide his chair out of the way. Then make one of the other employees get up so I can sit in their chair.

I had to deal with that last semester. The girl who sat next to me had an odor so bad that the teacher ended up having to pull her aside to talk about it.

I had a similar issue. What I did was send the guy an internal mail. Inside the internal mail was a printed screen from notepad that calmly explained that his B.O was bothering several people to the point that we avoided him.

A few days later, the issue was resolved.

Hey, Covar

Really?

Really?

I had to deal with this this morning. The worst smelling clients came in one after the other, early in the morning, almost as if they had planned it. There was stale tobacco mixed with alcohol. There was body odour. There was the smell of shit, piss, and vommit, and I cannot explain how that could possibly have come to be, but there it was.

I will not lie to you: I nearly gagged this morning just from breathing the air.

time to get one of those "time dispense" Fabreeze unit in your area

We have two pretty regular drunks around here that spend a lot of time in the tank. One shits himself constantly and never changes his clothes so his overalls are generally caked onto his body with shit. We actually broke a few laws once and forcibly stripped and cleaned him in the barely functioning shower our shitty little jail has. We threw out his murderously sick old clothes and gave him some new ones out of our spare clothes for drunks bin we have kicking around. Sick. The other old dude is the opposite, he pisses himself constantly. The stench of stale urine will completely overtake the entire detachment every time he's in cells. To the point where we have to soak a blanket in odourkill and stuff it in the cracks of the tank door so his stink is stuck in there.

Ugh.

This one time, I was riding the Green Line in Boston, and this stench overpowers me. It's like frickin' July and hot. I look up to see this dude holding the bar over my head, and his full pit was bared my way. It's REALLY REALLY hard to avoid stereotyping, no matter how much you've spoken against it, when the next words out of his mouth to his friend were in French.

Could have been Frankie.

Hey friend, I barely speak french. Seems like more the thing that would point in your direction.

Hey! I smell great. Aqua Di Gino for everyone!

SeriousJay said:

Hey! I smell great. Aqua Di Gino for everyone!

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but it only really works if you shower too...

When I worked in Atlantic City in a casino, we had a guy come in who looked like he had been living under the boardwalk. That wasn't so unusual since I worked midnight shift and the vagrants would come in to get warm. Security couldn't kick them out if they didn't bother anyone, so there were usually a few mulling around the casino floor. At any rate, this guy in particular was playing roulette in the area I was assigned to. He stunk so bad it made my eyes water and my nose burn. After a few minutes, I thought I was going to vomit. My supervisor wouldn't let me leave the area. It was awful. The only way I can describe the smell is dead. He smelled dead, like week old roadkill. It was the foulest stench I ever smelled coming off of a human being.

sixpackshaker;352412][QUOTE=SeriousJay said:

Hey! I smell great. Aqua Di Gino for everyone!

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but it only really works if you shower too... [/QUOTE]

Oh shit, then maybe it was me.

I've only had a few people come into the library smell half as bad as that - though the students who smell like weed and stale beer aren't a treat either. Or the kid with the turdlocks on his head.

fade said:

This one time, I was riding the Green Line in Boston, and this stench overpowers me. It's like frickin' July and hot. I look up to see this dude holding the bar over my head, and his full pit was bared my way. It's REALLY REALLY hard to avoid stereotyping, no matter how much you've spoken against it, when the next words out of his mouth to his friend were in French.

Click to expand...

Ah, public transportation. I don't miss that at all. Before I had a car, I would have to take the earliest bus there was to work and it was also the bus that took people from the group home to Goodwill for their jobs. Now, again, not to be all insensitive to people with mental disabilities, but this very large mentally challenge guy sits next to me, pinning me in the corner of the bus. He then proceeds to shit his pants.

Ugh, that was a horrible bus ride.

...Jesus Christ.

I'm loling hard on that one.

Sounds like some of the stuff I read on here Please Fiire Me

There is a part towards the end that is applicable.

Also: very much NSFW.


IT'S CALLED SPEEDSTICK! IT'S NOT EXPENSIVE! IT'S CALLED SPEEDSTICK! IT'S NOT EXPENSIVE!