I have a friend, we'll call her "Sian". Sian is a stay at home mom, married with two very beautiful girls, and a husband who works many long hours as a bartender/high school teacher. Over the past couple months, it has become increasingly obvious that they are struggling. My wife and Sian are quite close and have discussed our own marriage difficulties many times, which has led to Sian confiding in my wife that they are having problems.
Her husband used to work 16 hours a day, 7 days a week, which kept him out of the house for long periods of time. Due to the economic downturn, his hours have been reduced and he now has the opportunity to spend more time at home with his family. Unfortunately, Sian has become accustomed to being the only one at home and resents the fact that he is at home more now and 'doing things differently' than she ever did. This resentment spills over into public gatherings where there is constant belittlement of him by her, either "Stop embarassing me", constant scowls or eye rollings, or just non-friendly banter back and forth.
Now, that's not to say her husband isn't entirely innocent either. He's a gregarious fellow and his contacts with people in the bar/school world means he's often talking to younger girls. Sometimes to the point where it's a little skeevy. Married dude, you don't have to chat up the younger girls when you're wife is standing there.
Anyways, last weekend many of us attended a mutual friends wedding. As part of trying to 'help' my friend, I tried to spend some time talking to her, just chatting about random stuff, and trying to drag her unsuccessfully onto the dance floor. I had quite a few drinks, she stopped drinking rather early, and the whole night just continued on. At one point I had asked her why she wasn't drinking, and she replied that "If I drink any more, I'll get into trouble."
Curious about that, I asked her what she meant. Her response was that she just felt that she'd end up doing something naughty. A little more pressing and it became obvious that she was referring to doing something naughty avec moi. More to the point, she actively suggest we go outside so she could show me just how naughty she wanted to be.
Now, my general reaction was to laugh it off, to at least avoid the embarrassment of a declined solicitation like that. That's not to say I'm not annoyed by the whole thing. She's been a good friend for a long time, and was a prom date/crush in the last couple years of high school 13 years ago. She's very aware of my marital issues and my sensitivity in that regard.
I've brought the whole situation up with the wife and just tried to explain it as "Someone had to much to drink." but that certainly wasn't the case. Their friendship has helped my wife out a lot over the past year or so and I'd hate to think what a potential betrayal of that kind of friendship could cause. I'm inclined to forget the whole dealio except we're also headed to Vegas as a group in the next 3 weeks. That may even be more frictional than the wedding.
So Dave and Jay, maybe I'm not really asking for an answer so much as asking "What would you do in this situation?"
Her husband used to work 16 hours a day, 7 days a week, which kept him out of the house for long periods of time. Due to the economic downturn, his hours have been reduced and he now has the opportunity to spend more time at home with his family. Unfortunately, Sian has become accustomed to being the only one at home and resents the fact that he is at home more now and 'doing things differently' than she ever did. This resentment spills over into public gatherings where there is constant belittlement of him by her, either "Stop embarassing me", constant scowls or eye rollings, or just non-friendly banter back and forth.
Now, that's not to say her husband isn't entirely innocent either. He's a gregarious fellow and his contacts with people in the bar/school world means he's often talking to younger girls. Sometimes to the point where it's a little skeevy. Married dude, you don't have to chat up the younger girls when you're wife is standing there.
Anyways, last weekend many of us attended a mutual friends wedding. As part of trying to 'help' my friend, I tried to spend some time talking to her, just chatting about random stuff, and trying to drag her unsuccessfully onto the dance floor. I had quite a few drinks, she stopped drinking rather early, and the whole night just continued on. At one point I had asked her why she wasn't drinking, and she replied that "If I drink any more, I'll get into trouble."
Curious about that, I asked her what she meant. Her response was that she just felt that she'd end up doing something naughty. A little more pressing and it became obvious that she was referring to doing something naughty avec moi. More to the point, she actively suggest we go outside so she could show me just how naughty she wanted to be.
Now, my general reaction was to laugh it off, to at least avoid the embarrassment of a declined solicitation like that. That's not to say I'm not annoyed by the whole thing. She's been a good friend for a long time, and was a prom date/crush in the last couple years of high school 13 years ago. She's very aware of my marital issues and my sensitivity in that regard.
I've brought the whole situation up with the wife and just tried to explain it as "Someone had to much to drink." but that certainly wasn't the case. Their friendship has helped my wife out a lot over the past year or so and I'd hate to think what a potential betrayal of that kind of friendship could cause. I'm inclined to forget the whole dealio except we're also headed to Vegas as a group in the next 3 weeks. That may even be more frictional than the wedding.
So Dave and Jay, maybe I'm not really asking for an answer so much as asking "What would you do in this situation?"
It's a sad state of affairs when "I will let you blow me" is a BAD THING! 
