Dave
Staff member
Okay, so it's not really that much of an adventure but it still ate my Tuesday night with pain and hatred.
First, I'm a Minnesota Twins fan and they were playing the Detroit Tigers in a 1 game playoff to actually get into the playoffs and meet the New York Yankees. Tonight. So they will get no rest at all.
Anyway, there are 4 choirs that were going to perform - the Freshmen choir, mixed choir, junior varsity choir and varsity choir. The Freshmen choir is made up of Freshmen, junior varsity is made up of mostly sophomores & juniors who do not make varsity choir. Mixed choir is what I call the Mutant Choir because it's made up of those who are not good enough to even be in junior varsity but are in chorus because they feel it's an easy credit.
So I leave work at 5 and head directly to the school (almost all the way across town so I get there at about 5:45), meeting my wife and daughter there. We go to a local Culver's to eat dinner - noting the voluminous size of the patronage - and then head directly back to school. Sammi has to be there by 6:30 and the concert starts at 7:30. Damn it.
We wait around outside for a while and then go in a little after 7 which is when they open the doors to the auditorium. We get seats WAY to the back because we didn't stand in the cattle line but we really don't care. We look at the program and - horror of horrors! - Sammi's group (junior varsity) is last. That means we have to sit through the entire program. :Cry:
The Freshmen choir comes out and they sound like a Freshmen choir. The singular bright spot is a solo effort by one girl who was pretty amazing. But it was a duet with a guy who was totally overshadowed and he knew it. So she was singing harmony to a melody we could hardly hear and when we did it was not exactly in tune. But their three songs were pretty painless.
Then came the Mutant Choir.
This is actually the meat of the story because the JV and varsity choirs were mostly bland, although the JV choir did sing an African song that was about Coca-Cola. Yes, the entire song was basically a Coke commercial about how the choir loved the brown fizzy drink.
But back to the Mutant Choir. They ambled, rolled and hesitantly edged their way on the stage and you could tell who their parents were immediately. Their parents pulled out cameras & such while the non-parents cringed in anticipation of the torture which was soon to follow. Then it started.
The first song really wasn't that bad because it was pretty easy. No harsh vocal ranges, no solos, no complex harmonies. My hopes soared. The second song was a bit more daring and the chorus started to fracture at the seams. One especially...uh...interesting looking student had a high, piercing voice which was tremulous and towered menacingly over the rest of the chorus. he could have been good, but instead he was overpowering and totally off key. But that song was pretty short so the pain ended soon. I knew that they were doing three songs so I glanced down at the program to see what the last song was and my blood froze in my veins. The letters looking up at me spelled out: "Imagine" by John Lennon.
Folks, this was the worst thing to happen to Lennon since someone put a bullet in his head. If he weren't dead and turning over in his grave, he'd be killing himself just so he could. This song featured 2 different soloists (using the words loosely) and was arranged in such a way that there were complex harmonies, difficult vocal ranges and a harmonica solo! When it was over we wiped the blood pouring from our ears and endured the remaining vocal assaults.
I finally got out of there, raced home...and found out that the Twins had won in the bottom of the 12th inning. I missed the ending of the game by 15 minutes.
First, I'm a Minnesota Twins fan and they were playing the Detroit Tigers in a 1 game playoff to actually get into the playoffs and meet the New York Yankees. Tonight. So they will get no rest at all.
Anyway, there are 4 choirs that were going to perform - the Freshmen choir, mixed choir, junior varsity choir and varsity choir. The Freshmen choir is made up of Freshmen, junior varsity is made up of mostly sophomores & juniors who do not make varsity choir. Mixed choir is what I call the Mutant Choir because it's made up of those who are not good enough to even be in junior varsity but are in chorus because they feel it's an easy credit.
So I leave work at 5 and head directly to the school (almost all the way across town so I get there at about 5:45), meeting my wife and daughter there. We go to a local Culver's to eat dinner - noting the voluminous size of the patronage - and then head directly back to school. Sammi has to be there by 6:30 and the concert starts at 7:30. Damn it.
We wait around outside for a while and then go in a little after 7 which is when they open the doors to the auditorium. We get seats WAY to the back because we didn't stand in the cattle line but we really don't care. We look at the program and - horror of horrors! - Sammi's group (junior varsity) is last. That means we have to sit through the entire program. :Cry:
The Freshmen choir comes out and they sound like a Freshmen choir. The singular bright spot is a solo effort by one girl who was pretty amazing. But it was a duet with a guy who was totally overshadowed and he knew it. So she was singing harmony to a melody we could hardly hear and when we did it was not exactly in tune. But their three songs were pretty painless.
Then came the Mutant Choir.
This is actually the meat of the story because the JV and varsity choirs were mostly bland, although the JV choir did sing an African song that was about Coca-Cola. Yes, the entire song was basically a Coke commercial about how the choir loved the brown fizzy drink.
But back to the Mutant Choir. They ambled, rolled and hesitantly edged their way on the stage and you could tell who their parents were immediately. Their parents pulled out cameras & such while the non-parents cringed in anticipation of the torture which was soon to follow. Then it started.
The first song really wasn't that bad because it was pretty easy. No harsh vocal ranges, no solos, no complex harmonies. My hopes soared. The second song was a bit more daring and the chorus started to fracture at the seams. One especially...uh...interesting looking student had a high, piercing voice which was tremulous and towered menacingly over the rest of the chorus. he could have been good, but instead he was overpowering and totally off key. But that song was pretty short so the pain ended soon. I knew that they were doing three songs so I glanced down at the program to see what the last song was and my blood froze in my veins. The letters looking up at me spelled out: "Imagine" by John Lennon.
Folks, this was the worst thing to happen to Lennon since someone put a bullet in his head. If he weren't dead and turning over in his grave, he'd be killing himself just so he could. This song featured 2 different soloists (using the words loosely) and was arranged in such a way that there were complex harmonies, difficult vocal ranges and a harmonica solo! When it was over we wiped the blood pouring from our ears and endured the remaining vocal assaults.
I finally got out of there, raced home...and found out that the Twins had won in the bottom of the 12th inning. I missed the ending of the game by 15 minutes.
