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North Ranger. Please explain Finland.

#1

Dave

Dave



What is this I don't even?


#2

MindDetective

MindDetective

There is no way in hell I'm following the bouncing ball on this one.
Added at: 14:36
Also, a bit of a rip-off of Where the Hell is Matt?



#3

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

My inner child is begging for mercy.


#4

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

That song is catchy as HELL, though. And look how amused everyone is around him!


#5

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Oh God, not this...
Not vitun this...
*sigh*
It's Munamies. The Egg-Man. One of the most prominent TV channels here hosts an annual contest where professional actors are asked to create new comedic characters - which are then eliminated by popular vote each week. Last year it was Marja Tyrni, a parody of a Turku housewife with dirty jokes and a fixation on baking. The Egg-Man, a living little egg in a big, big world (played by up-and-coming actor and Zeitgeister Riku Nieminen), won the contest this year with a combination of dirty jokes (his motto? "Pieni muna, iso sielu", or "Small egg, big soul"... or "Small balls, big soul") and over-the-top routines - including claiming existentialism and egg-painting as hobbies and singing Con te partiro in a live TV show.
Basically it's Idols with one-dimensional comedy characters instead of one-dimensional pop singers.
I await with no small amount of trepidation the time when the TV bigwigs decide to give him a talk show, a weekly comedy show or a Christmas special...


#6

Dave

Dave

I am the Egg-man.


#7

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Must... not... boil... Dave...


#8

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Koo koo cachoo


#9

AshburnerX

AshburnerX

I swear to god I thought this was some Lonely Island thing. The guy looks a lot like one of the guys in that band.


#10

Espy

Espy

...


...backs out of thread slowly...


#11



Chibibar

well... so the weirdness from Japan is catching to Finland.


#12

SpecialKO

SpecialKO

I guess Finland didn't wear a condom.


#13



Wasabi Poptart

You know, I can almost sing "Friday" to the chorus of that song. lmao


#14

filmfanatic

filmfanatic

They are the Egg-Man.


#15

Emrys

Emrys

So who is the Walrus?


#16

General Specific

General Specific

and here I thought you had to be on some really good drugs to see stuff like that


#17

Null

Null

General Specific said:
and here I thought you had to be on some really good drugs to see stuff like that
Click to expand...
Apparently reindeer pee will do just fine.


#18

Emrys

Emrys

I thought that was a Finnish aphrodisiac?


#19

MindDetective

MindDetective

And here we see Finnish porn!


#20

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Poor NR and Tommi... now you know how Americans feel, to be seen through the filter of media...


#21

Green_Lantern

Green_Lantern

I... must... destroy... Finland.


#22

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

But but but... the egg man is so HAPPY!


#23

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Emrys said:
I thought that was a Finnish aphrodisiac?
Click to expand...
No, that's powdered reindeer horn. Also, that's mainly a Lapland thing.
For most Finns, female nudity, beer and a hot sauna on a cold day or skinny-dipping on a hot day work just as well, and are less demanding of reindeer extremities.
Added at: 06:01
MindDetective said:
And here we see Finnish porn!
Click to expand...
No, that would involve more blondes and redheads, such as one Rakel Liekki ('Rachel Flame'):


#24

HCGLNS

HCGLNS

And yet you hands down refuse to wear those delicious sauna-pants. :(


#25

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

HCGLNS said:
And yet you hands down refuse to wear those delicious sauna-pants. :(
Click to expand...
Because they are an abomination that have nothing to do with sauna, and must therefore be destroyed. You can't relax looking like you wear Michelin Man adult diapers.


#26

Emrys

Emrys

North_Ranger said:
No, that's powdered reindeer horn. Also, that's mainly a Lapland thing.
For most Finns, female nudity, beer and a hot sauna on a cold day or skinny-dipping on a hot day work just as well, and are less demanding of reindeer extremities.
Click to expand...
I like your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.


#27

Allen who is Quiet

Allen who is Quiet

I don't know NR, I'm pretty sure that that Egg man is Finnish porn for somebody.


#28

General Specific

General Specific

Moon people, maybe?


#29

Green_Lantern

Green_Lantern

Officer_Charon said:
But but but... the egg man is so HAPPY!
Click to expand...
MUST EXTRA DESTROY FINLAND


#30

Mathias

Mathias

North_Ranger said:
No, that's powdered reindeer horn. Also, that's mainly a Lapland thing.
For most Finns, female nudity, beer and a hot sauna on a cold day or skinny-dipping on a hot day work just as well, and are less demanding of reindeer extremities.
Added at: 06:01


No, that would involve more blondes and redheads, such as one Rakel Liekki ('Rachel Flame'):
Click to expand...


#31

evilmike

evilmike

North_Ranger said:
Oh God, not this...
Not vitun this...
*sigh*
It's Munamies. The Egg-Man. One of the most prominent TV channels here hosts an annual contest where professional actors are asked to create new comedic characters - which are then eliminated by popular vote each week. Last year it was Marja Tyrni, a parody of a Turku housewife with dirty jokes and a fixation on baking. The Egg-Man, a living little egg in a big, big world (played by up-and-coming actor and Zeitgeister Riku Nieminen), won the contest this year with a combination of dirty jokes (his motto? "Pieni muna, iso sielu", or "Small egg, big soul"... or "Small balls, big soul") and over-the-top routines - including claiming existentialism and egg-painting as hobbies and singing Con te partiro in a live TV show.
Basically it's Idols with one-dimensional comedy characters instead of one-dimensional pop singers.
I await with no small amount of trepidation the time when the TV bigwigs decide to give him a talk show, a weekly comedy show or a Christmas special...
Click to expand...
You know what would have been perfect? If this guy had been shipped to DarkAudit.


#32

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

North_Ranger said:
No, that's powdered reindeer horn. Also, that's mainly a Lapland thing.
For most Finns, female nudity, beer and a hot sauna on a cold day or skinny-dipping on a hot day work just as well, and are less demanding of reindeer extremities.
Added at: 06:01


No, that would involve more blondes and redheads, such as one Rakel Liekki ('Rachel Flame'):
Click to expand...

Gah! No... no...



There we go, that's better.


#33

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

I give you red-headed porn stars and still you're not happy?
Oh screw you guys... :p


#34

Dave

Dave

Sorry, man. I think her face is less than beautiful. Were it not for the porn star thing I don't think she'd get many second looks.


#35



Wasabi Poptart

Yep. She's a Butter Face.


#36

drifter

drifter

Did somebody say red-headed porn stars?
North_Ranger said:
Click to expand...




Oh no, no no no... that won't do at all.







#37

Allen who is Quiet

Allen who is Quiet

Drifter, your ideas intrigue me and I wish to see more.


#38

LittleSin

LittleSin

North Rangers porn star looks a lot like a younger version of my sauna lady.

Coincidence?


#39

HCGLNS

HCGLNS

Tinwhistler said:
That's why we invented doggie style. Flip her over...problem solved.

(oh lord, I'm going to hell)
Click to expand...
You're not going to hell, you're just being "frisky".

If when you see a butter face you think butake, then you're going to hell.


#40

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

I admit I like Rakel (she's retired from adult entertainment now; more of a performance artist nowadays with her hubby). I like porn stars who are of lither build, elf-like, if you allow the expression. Most Finnish porn stars (to my knowledge) tend to be of the 'blonde with volcanic tits' variety ;) So she was a nice change of pace.


#41

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

North_Ranger said:
I admit I like Rakel (she's retired from adult entertainment now; more of a performance artist nowadays with her hubby). I like porn stars who are of lither build, elf-like, if you allow the expression. Most Finnish porn stars (to my knowledge) tend to be of the 'blonde with volcanic tits' variety ;) So she was a nice change of pace.
Click to expand...


You're welcome


#42

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Thanks.


#43

Gusto

Gusto

"Elf-like"?


#44

Allen who is Quiet

Allen who is Quiet

You know? Possessing qualities similar to elves.


#45

Gusto

Gusto

Oh, so like pornstars that can increase the perception of their allies, gotcha.


#46

Terrik

Terrik

Allen who is Quiet said:
You know? Possessing qualities similar to elves.
Click to expand...


#47

Allen who is Quiet

Allen who is Quiet

Gusto said:
Oh, so like pornstars that can increase the perception of their allies, gotcha.
Click to expand...
Well, I was thinking more along the lines that they get free weapon proficiency with longswords, but you have the basics.


#48

Mathias

Mathias

Oh baby....



#49

drifter

drifter

Allen who is Quiet said:
Drifter, your ideas intrigue me and I wish to see more.
Click to expand...
Well, if I must...












And finally, a little pixie porn star for NR:



#50

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

drifter said:
Well, if I must...












And finally, a little pixie porn star for NR:

Click to expand...
A lot of those hotlinks don't work :(


#51

gargoyle_eva

gargoyle_eva

@NR's picture
I'll be in my bunk
so when i get to finland, can i stay at your place, I promise to pick up a second girl that looks like that for you....and by second i really mean 3rd.

and drifter,
your ideas intrigue me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter


#52

Allen who is Quiet

Allen who is Quiet

Ravenpoe said:
A lot of those hotlinks don't work :(
Click to expand...
View the images in new tabs.


#53

Silver Jelly

Silver Jelly

I was coming here to troll NR, saying I was just listening to some finnish musicians (and linking to songs by Slagsmalsklubben, a swedish group) but... Woah. Redheads.


#54

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

Folk metal drinking songs. I can get behind that.


#55

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

gargoyle_eva said:
@NR's picture
I'll be in my bunk
so when i get to finland, can i stay at your place, I promise to pick up a second girl that looks like that for you....and by second i really mean 3rd.
Click to expand...
Your offer is intriguing. Give me your travel schedule and we'll talk.


#56

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

I am at a work computer and must click on redheads.... *sobs brokenly*


#57

Allen who is Quiet

Allen who is Quiet

Problem officer?


#58

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Delicious redhead, I must fap.

*looks at uniform, then at car. Cries again.*


#59

Allen who is Quiet

Allen who is Quiet

Rare footage of O_C actually angry


#60

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon



#61

drifter

drifter

O_C can't see the images because of work?



And just to rub it in, more redheads!











#62

Thread Necromancer

Thread Necromancer

I was not a fan of where this thread started, but I love where it has gone.


#63

Silver Jelly

Silver Jelly

181360_10150096268345956_723740955_6059883_3815162_n.jpg


#64

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

And just to show you guys Rakel Liekki ain't alone...

I would have liked to add pictures from others, such as the up-and-coming Susu and Mariah Sensuel, and something for the ladies á la Mr Lothar and Eric York, but I couldn't find decent pictures of them on a quick search. There's a whole bunch of Henry Saari (a now retired porn actor), but most of them are post-career... and his facial expressions remind me of someone who's just had surprise buttsecks while doped up.


#65

IronBrig4

IronBrig4

The Nordic fellows out for the night. Finland and Sweden have issues with each other.



#66

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

IronBrig4 said:
The Nordic fellows out for the night. Finland and Sweden have issues with each other.

Click to expand...
Ah, Scandinavia and The World. I approve most heartily :)

It really is... Hee hee hee...


Just FYI though... most women I've seen here look somewhere between Sister Denmark and Sister Sweden. I guess Sister Finland is just having a bad hair... body... titty day?

Unfortunately most of us city-dwellers have to forego the traditional vihta beating and a dip in the snow... but I've personally done both - and also a dip in a pool cut into a frozen lake. Most refreshing, I can tell you.
The towels, however... well, I guess Finland still has his reserves about guests over. Otherwise they'd be off.


#67

LittleSin

LittleSin

Here, I gotta ask you somethin'.

My sister says you have to get in pool then the sauna. I prefer to get in the sauna first then jump in the swimming pool...and maybe get bakc in after wards.

My sister believes if you get in the sauna first you will shock your muscles when you get in the pool, there fore causing spasms/cramps.

May I have your expert opinion?


#68

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Hmm... well that depends. After a workout I'd recommend at least a quick shower or a dip first, then hitting the sauna.

If, however, you're after some rest and relaxation, then I would say it's a matter of choice. A dry sauna can be a little harsh, making you feel prickly and stingy all over, but some prefer it that way, maybe taking a little douse of water to cool themselves down. A wet sauna is, in my opinion, better for a relaxing sauna as the water makes the heat disperse more evenly, and small douses of cold water poured on your head feel just about heavenly if you're getting dry again. It's a matter of opinion and taste in my mind.

I would, however, still recommend either dousing or taking a dip between sessions, so as to avoid any heat-related issues. Alcohol I would recommend for post-sauna, not in-sauna, as it tends to make you dehydrate faster.


#69

Cajungal

Cajungal

Ya know, lilsin, it wasn't a sauna, but once I jumped into a pool right after sitting in a hot tub for a few minutes and nearly passed out. Jake had to help me upstairs.


#70

Mathias

Mathias

I hate hot tubes. I like dry saunas. I am indifferent to steam baths aka wet saunas. Being a dude who's done a lot of microbiology in his life, I can't shake the feeling that I need to douse myself in Clorox after hanging out for a long time in a steam bath. I know that most places sanitize them, but lot's of water + medium to high temperature = fungus and bacteria heaven.


#71

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

@N_R: Thank you for turning me on to that comic. I'd had one picture from it for a while, and wondered where it came from... I've been reading (trying to read) up on it all afternoon

Cajungal said:
Ya know, lilsin, it wasn't a sauna, but once I jumped into a pool right after sitting in a hot tub for a few minutes and nearly passed out. Jake had to help me upstairs.
Click to expand...
Once upon a time, I lived in a house that had both (Ah, memories). That was one of my preferred activities: jumping between the two of them. Very invigorating! I would LOVE to try a sauna, Finnish-style now.


#72

IronBrig4

IronBrig4



Another image from Scandinavia and the World. I love this comic.


#73



Wasabi Poptart

I <3 Iceland! Squee!


#74

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Nah... Finland FTW... I tend to oscillate to his personality when I'm not all happy-bouncy


#75

Green_Lantern

Green_Lantern

^perkele!!

Okay, we don't need to destroy finland anymore.


#76



Wasabi Poptart

Officer_Charon said:
Nah... Finland FTW... I tend to oscillate to his personality when I'm not all happy-bouncy
Click to expand...
No I like Iceland! He's sparkly and cute and near the gateway to hell. Plus...


I wouldn't kick Magnus Scheving outta bed. Even if he was dressed like Sportacus. :D


#77

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Heh... I see the ulterior in your motive.

Still, perkele has been added to my lexicon


#78

Green_Lantern

Green_Lantern

Wasabi Poptart said:
No I like Iceland! He's sparkly and cute and near the gateway to hell. Plus...


I wouldn't kick Magnus Scheving outta bed. Even if he was dressed like Sportacus. :D
Click to expand...
Yeah... because there aren't people who would rather have him dressed as Sportacus, and *I* am not one those peoples

>.>
<.<
>.<


#79

drifter

drifter

Oh, where are my manners? Some sexy gingers for tha lay-days (and non-traditional gents)!



Kidding! Sexy time for realz in the next spoiler.









#80



Wasabi Poptart

Ahhhhh kilts. How I adore thee. *sigh*


#81

Cajungal

Cajungal

That second one concerns me. He looks awfully confused. No complaints about that third guy, though. :unibrow:


#82

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Officer_Charon said:
Heh... I see the ulterior in your motive.

Still, perkele has been added to my lexicon
Click to expand...
I just hope you pronounce it correctly. Everytime perkele is mispronounced, God kills a baby squirrel.


#83

Green_Lantern

Green_Lantern

North_Ranger said:
I just hope you pronounce it correctly. Everytime perkele is mispronounced, God kills a baby squirrel.
Click to expand...
Does he kills specific baby squirrels that you want ot be killed? Or it is just ramdonly? that could be used to control the little pests.


#84

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

North_Ranger said:
I just hope you pronounce it correctly. Everytime perkele is mispronounced, God kills a baby squirrel.
Click to expand...
Is it PURkehleh or purKEHleh?


#85

Emrys

Emrys

It's spelled "perkele", but it's pronounced "throat warbler mangrove".


#86

figmentPez

figmentPez

Officer_Charon said:
Is it PURkehleh or purKEHleh?
Click to expand...
Cah-yeh-ha?


#87

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Officer_Charon said:
Is it PURkehleh or purKEHleh?
Click to expand...
The stress is always on the first syllable. And if you really want to let 'er rip, thrum the 'r' against your palate for a little longer (you should thrum it a little anyway; Finnish is a rhotic language; we pronounce our r's in a way that may remind you of Scotsmen). PERRRRRRkele! Commonly added word is 'voi' before 'perkele': 'voi perkele'. Similar to the 'oh' in 'oh shit'.


From old Finnish movies (including one Western comedy):
At 0:17 (from The Unknown Soldier);
0:22;
o:25 ('Jeesuksen Ristuksen perkele'; 'Jesus Fuckin' Christ');
0:32 (drunken perkele)
o:36 (disgusted perkele, as in 'no fuckin' way' or 'fuck that')
0:43 ('ukko perkele'; 'you fucker')
0:54
0:58 (injured perkele; he's just been shot in the right shoulder blade)

And so on...


#88



Wasabi Poptart

It sounds almost like they're talking about a cat purring instead of cursing.


#89

Emrys

Emrys

Purring and then throwing up a hairball.


#90

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

No voi vittu...


#91

Emrys

Emrys

Is that an invitation? :unibrow:


#92

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Perrrrhaps ;)


#93

Emrys

Emrys

<rawr!>


#94

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Growl.


#95

General Specific

General Specific

Meow?


#96

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Don't make me call Bob Barker.


#97

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

The price is wrong, bitch!


#98

Mathias

Mathias

I will pronounce it perrrrrrrcolate. Every time I hear a Finn swearing, I'll think he wants coffee.


#99

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Osnap.... what has been seen cannot be unseen!


#100

drifter

drifter

Sorry to resurrect a dead thread, but, well, I think you'll understand.



#101

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon



#102

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Most excellent.


#103

Green_Lantern

Green_Lantern

her knees are hideous :p


#104

Silver Jelly

Silver Jelly

North_Ranger said:
Most excellent.
Click to expand...
Couldn't have said it better myself.


#105

DarkAudit

DarkAudit

And her name is?


#106



Wasabi Poptart

DarkAudit said:
And her name is?
Click to expand...
Dottie


#107

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

The posteriors of Swedes have been kicked in a series of matches involving ice hockey and the ranking order of countries playing thereof.

Commence celebratory dancing.


#108

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

ALE AND WENCHES!


#109

TommiR

TommiR

Way ahead of you: here's a pic from the fountain in central square in front of the city hall of my city:



#110

Mathias

Mathias

People care about IIHF?


#111

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Remind me to ask the same thing when one of you guys is exulting over Super Bowl.


#112

Mathias

Mathias

North_Ranger said:
Remind me to ask the same thing when one of you guys is exulting over Super Bowl.
Click to expand...
America. FUCK YEAH, BITCH!

I'm really surprised the addition of Alex Ovechkin didn't help the Russians out much.


#113

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Mathias said:
America. FUCK YEAH, BITCH!
Click to expand...
Sorry, you ain't my type.


#114

TommiR

TommiR

Mathias said:
I'm really surprised the addition of Alex Ovechkin didn't help the Russians out much.
Click to expand...
Me too. Ovechkin's contribution came up surprisingly short in the Friday match against Finland, at least. Seemed as if he had declared a unilateral moratorium on passes.


#115

Baerdog

Baerdog

He didn't do much in the bronze medal match tonight either.


#116

Silver Jelly

Silver Jelly

We like sports and we don't care who knows.


#117

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

From Scandinavia and the World:



Carry on.


#118

Mathias

Mathias

North_Ranger said:
From Scandinavia and the World:



Carry on.
Click to expand...
Can you even ice skate? :D

Congrats you country of weirdos! May your sauna's be extra pant-less on these oncoming days of glory.


#119

Terrik

Terrik

I...I don't understand.


#120

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

It helps if you compare the lion to the Finnish Coat of Arms



Which has been AKA'd by some folks as "'Special' Lion."


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