Export thread

Holy shit was this bigger than I expected, which is a great thing. But not necessarily for me.

So I moved the thread with the entries into the Mod area so none of you can see it. But I'm going to paste ALL of the entries here so you can read them. I have stripped off all the names of those who put them in and alphabetized them.

I was going to put them into categories (humor, spooky, etc) but that would have been more work than I was ready for. So without further ado...


"Are you ready to be sworn in to the presidency, Ms. Hilton?"
"D-daddy?" The small noise that came from the meat meant nothing to him. Only the hunger mattered. He fed. Her scream soon cut short.
"Girl Scout Cookies!" she cried, as I looked through my peephole. So sad... if only she looked behind her and noticed the man with a knife.
"Guess what dear? My Mom is coming to stay with us for a few months."
"He systematically destroyed lives and spread disease... and we paid him to do it to us. Now the world suffers: http://tinyurl.com/hf0ct03"
"I'm sorry," the mad priest said. "You saw her naked and so they must be cleansed." The needle smelled of ammonia as it pierced my eye.
"Oh. Hello, Hylian. Won't you come in?"
"Stop it," my brother said, "or I'll pay the Briar Witch to eat your soul!" That night she came. I'd paid her more and slept soul intact.
"Suicide Susan. Suicide Susan. Suicide Susan." Nothing happened. "What a dumb..." I thought. Blood began to trickle from my eyes.
"They taste so much better when they scream." My mother said, licking her lips.
"Why didn't I feed you?!" she cried as he finished feasting on her kneecaps. Hamtaro paused, for one brief moment to laugh at her grief.
@BigCheeseAtHQ Found book of Feyde-Mon, will bring back for the lab geeks. So far no zombie curse. Weather very dry, skin itchy.
@JCkins1991 julie chadsworth 432 w gibson st. ozark ar. nice open facebook page. see you tonight.
“Yeargh!” “Dear! You're awake!” “What a nightmare! I dreamt Palin/Quale won the election!” “They did dear. It's 2014.”
10 31 09 seconds here even despite irate eavesdropping shills. Illegal.from future.140 chars get thru.avoid red flags.read 1st letters
A fire warmed the two from the cold outside. Both men sat cradling clubs. The food ran out days ago. The first to sleep was last to live.
A little girl walks up to a stranger and looks up at him with beautiful eyes. "Hey mister, you want to see my giant spider?"
A man, a van, a plan: candy
A trigger can make the victims WAKE UP from the coma world where the trauma does not exist. They may choose not to. We will always love you.
After finally taking over all broadcasting stations, the world watching him, he only had two words to say: "Candle Jack."
Amanda wailed as her faithful hound lay bleeding and lifeless. Her eyes closed as she sobbed. She felt a gentle lick on her hand.
And then after three days, Jesus became a zombie!
Anyone seen Claire? I'm a bit concerned. She's not answering her phone or her door, and I can't see her through her window.
Arms pinned now, the cold water reached her chin. She looked to the distant light trying to remember when the sound of rain calmed her.
As the creature rose after being struck down, I turned to my companions. "Did anyone else bring holy water?!?" "That was the last of it!"
As the knife slipped out of her hand, all she could hear was the hauntingly sweet giggle of recently dead children, then silence forever.
At first, I thought it was something I had for lunch. Then something metallic started scraping its way into my spine from the inside.
Beneath the black November tree-claws against the starry sky, he heard the crashing footfalls, and the windy call, "Sloooo".
Bridge out ahea...AGGGHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......
Carefully, purposefully, he shuffled into her room. He yearned to gaze upon her face; he had not seen it since his funeral.
Crunch. Crackle. Crunch. And with a gulp, Cthulu was hungry no more. The world lay lifeless.
Dark skies wept, the rain smudging the mascara clouds. A babe shrieked distantly; elsewhere, a choke sounded out. No life without death.
Dark stormy night. A stranger knocks. I answer and he asks for shelter. I invite him out of the rain. His fangs soon enter my fleshy neck.
Darkness follows emptiness. Nothing is left. The universe is almost at its end, while I drift endlessly through the void, growing colder.
Dear Sir, Your 1040 has been randomly selected for an audit. Please respond with a convenient time and date to visit your local IRS office.
Departed Boston a little while back. Hit some turbulence just now. Muslim guy seated beside me is sweating profusely.
Does anyone know what it's like to be pulled, kicking and screaming, into the twisted maw of evil? Your son does right about now.
Dripping wet and breathless, I laughed. A spirit cannot cross a running river, and it didn't. Oh. Neither could the spirits on this side.
Electricity arced over the widow's husband. He gasped with life, meeting her gaze. "You'll die for leaving me," she said, knife glinting.
Enclosed and damp, Dave struggled against his bonds. Something writhed across his neck. Scaly, chitinous, it...they...took tentative bites.
Entry
First clue I had that my wife was a vampire was when she bit my ass. Of course I didn't realize it at the time; I assumed that was her kink.
First time at the dentist? Relax, you're in good hands with Dr. Shego. Oh, we seem to be low on nitrous oxide...well, we'll make do.
Five kids, four kids, chop chop chop chop three kids, two kids eat their tongues
Groggily I sense... heat... smoke... a campfire. Memories of family campouts with fresh meat on the fire. Slowly I turn. I hope I'm yummy.
Hammer had seen madness. Without another word, he turned the gun upon himself, placed it in his mouth, and went for a hell of a ride.
Have you ever noticed how many dark nooks and crannies there are in your average household? Perfect hiding places.
He burst, covered in dirt and blood, from the grave, like a filthy turd from the anus of the earth. He was free, and he was famished.
He couldn't hear her anymore, but the shape of her face, pressing up from the beneath the surface of wall, kept screaming as he walked away.
He followed me home. Eyes, in the open closet. Jesus, his clothes. Crumbs on the floor. But it's my house. How long have you been here?
He had been a good man. He had cared. He had given. He had kept his faith to the end. He floated silently, one among billions, and screamed.
He hadn't run off. She found him in their room, his face unrecognizable. The wind inflated the drapes. From the corner came a creak.
He laid a hand on her shoulder. She wouldn't have minded, except that it wasn't his.
He laughed while his knife struck, a hollow, craven laugh. It died upon his lips as her saw her grin blood, felt a prickling in his balls.
He looked out his window. Beyond was pure madness. He fell. Turns out it was sparta.
He looked out his window. Beyond was pure madness. It gibbered at him. He gibbered back. This went on for some time.
He pulled out-she died. He gazed at her raven hair and wept. Her hands moved. Dead, she crept. He didn't scream. She ate, grinning.
He pulled the trigger, felt the world drain, swirl through the wound, except for the image of the girl-his girl-still crying why daddy why?
He spread my legs. He saw my wound and lips, he expected, tongue, he didn't, licking off his skin. God it hurts! he cried. God yes, said I.
He stood, naked and sweating, over bodies lain on years of old comics pages. The knife raised again as he screamed, "Fuck you, it's funny!".
He threw her beads. She lifted her shirt and the world began to dissolve.
He was torn between blinding pain and the fascination that his testicles burst like grapes in the vice.
He was working at a job he despised for mere minimum wage. "And that's how it's going to be for eternity," said Satan.
He woke bloody, braced for pain that did not come. Then silence and an ache that was not hunger. Slowly, he pushed open the nursery door.
He's eccentric, this one, his wall covered in faces, all photos or sketches. "They're all dead," he sighed. Seems an odd place for a mirror.
He's there. Tall man, slender man. You don't see him - you're safe. I see him. He sees me. Forever.
His forked tongue caressed the side of her face. She did not move - the venom was working. Her eyes widened as he began to feed.
His left hand was controlled by his other personality, a homicidal one. In its grip was a knife. Amputating it had not slowed it down.
His study had a new door. It was covered in strange sigils. He opened it. Then his face exploded out the back of his skull.
Huh. The baby fit into the hand-cranked meat grinder after all.
I brushed my teeth. Washed my face. Walked to my bed. Lifted up the covers. There was Kurtz, naked and grinning wildly.
I climbed into my bed, sad and cold. Fighting back tears, I whispered to myself, "Why am I so alone?"..."You're not," came a raspy response.
I could see the thin plumes of breath stream from their beastly nostrils as they stalked me in the alley. Nuns with chainsaws. God help me.
I don't recognize myself anymore. These hands are not my own, this face is that of a stranger and monstrous to me. God help me for loving it
I forgot to check the backseat. Flashing eyes in the rearview mirror. I know what he wants. 2 seconds: take my punishment or hit the wall?
I hate distrusting her. She's my own little girl. But ever since her mom died, I swear when she laughs, it's with someone else's voice.
I hoped you would have beaten your sister home from school. But no matter. Cooking is about being creative with the available ingredients.
I killed three of them. Four more wait outside. I can hear them scratching at the walls.
I know you said to stop or you'd call the police, but my iPhone is so quiet I just had to share. I mean, you didn't even hear me click send.
I looked into the mirror, and said to my reflection, "I don't know if I can do this." As I turned away, I heard it whisper back, "I know."
I love faces. I cut more of them in me. Slits for mouths, holes for eyes. When they sing, it's like heaven. When they eat, I'm whole again.
I opened the door and saw myself laying there, the gun still in my hand.
I see a thing that would take the joy from me, betray me. I see a thing that would dance laughingly over my eathen tomb. I see ... a mirror.
I slowly locked the door, looking at my victim, sobbing softly. "If you had just agreed with me, none of this would have had to happen..."
I started to regret demanding the bitch give me a sammich at about the same time my stomach started heaving while I bled out the mouth.
I woke, groggy, pulling against cold restraints. Panoptic white light shrouded the egg-headed silhouettes bent over me, drill spinning.
If creating life in man and beasts and plants made one a god, what would he be called for creating that which the gods dared not imagine?
If she was alive he had to know. The thought of her being one of them entered his mind and putting the gun to his temple seemed easy.
In darkness whispers, cold on my neck as I stand frozen in fear, promising to visit upon me horrors unspeakable. With luck I will die soon.
It had been hard, caring for so many cats. Now, as she fed them one last time, she wondered what they would do once her bones were clean.
It turned out ten fingers were redundant after all. He'd wondered how his own flesh tasted. Too bad the anesthetic made his tongue numb.
It was behind him. It had been behind him his whole life. He still didn't know what it was. Everyone it touched disappeared.
It's unnerving to see your own corpse from above. It's VERY unnerving to watch your own corpse stand up and shamble away.
I've already taken my final breath. Lungs and plastic strain against each other, body thrashing on the floor. My final thought: Success.
Look, I can lay a line, you know? So I laid this whopper ... then I had her. Shit was going well, well as can be ... then I saw her dick.
Lying to themselves, they went on. "Another day, another buck," they said. But, deep inside, they all knew the truth. Mabel was never there.
MADE THIS TWITTER ACOUNT JUST NOW. HE’S ALMOST UPSTAIRS, PHONES DONT WORK, FLASHING LIGHTS ON AND OFF, NEED HELP NOW. IN CADDO OKLAHOMA HEND
Man on the ground, scarlet trail, metallic smell. Vamps. Something hissed behind me. I whipped around, unloaded Bertha, and fucked shit up.
Mommy, I'm tired of Dad every night. Shut up and keep eating, kid!
My fingers quivered and went numb as I grasped the paper. My vision burred and my body shook as I read the headline, “President Sara Palin”
My lush prison spans 273 paces, a meadow hanging in a void. Every death, every escape from the eyes that speckle the sky grants me futility.
My skin felt doughy, like nothing underneath. I pressed my eyelid, oddly squishy under... Shit. My eye! I didn't mean to! Put it back!
My uncle's house has a ghost that watches me sleep and gives me tongue kisses that taste like alcohol.
My world explodes, incredible silence follows, and two friends gone. I walk away without a scratch...how can I live?
Never pick up a hitchhiker, they said. But she is so pretty and helpless. I can't resist taking her to the quarry to show her my skulls.
No one was there to shed a tear when Little Johnny died. Then he came back and we all cried.
Now at night, from the abandoned chapel came the agonized, insane shrieking of scripture.
Oh shit. Sorry brought them back.
Only I remain. Suns, planets came and went. The void is now a cold blanket of hydrogen stretched perfectly thin. Mine is the last thought.
Our wedding night, and I've fattened her ripe. She'll burst like a cherry, juices to suck. Bloody wedding night is a wedding done right.
Over my bloody mary, I wondered why people continued to fight over oil, when blood had long since become cheaper than water.
Paralysis, cant move, cant blink. A flash as the blade lowers slowly, closer...closer. Pain. Cant scream. Darkness.
Paralyzed now, he wished he was dead; thing was, he knew it would only get worse once the larvae hatched.
People often ask why I always wear sunglasses, even when it's overcast. I pretend I just have sensitive eyes. If they only knew the truth...
She bit her lip, then shrieked as he laughed in that tinkling manner of his and blew her back out with his super sperm. Edward gasped.
She could have said "I love you" at the funeral, but that's okay. She say it soon enough, once she realizes I'm still here.
She died 10 years ago, he just yesterday. Together again, they dance through the town.
She giggled. No one would look in the dark closet. Through his noose-bent neck, the hanging man shared the laugh and reached towards her.
She lay on her back staring at the moon. Her phone rang. She reached and felt scales and claws. Screaming, tearing, and a Shakira ringtone.
She stared into my eyes and swore we'd never part. The blood no longer flowing from the wounds I had inflicted.
She stood between me and the door, cleaver in hand. It was me or her, or so I thought. Two seconds later, it was my balls.
She watched her belly in horror as it slowly throbbed and squirmed. She *knew* she'd seen a worm in that peach yesterday.
Sit at work, earn money, get things. Try hard to forget death. No matter, it will still come eventually. Pointless.
Slowly, I drew her to me. When our lips touched, all I could think of was the feeling of her penis against my thigh.
Slowly, I licked her cheek. A shiver of ecstasy went down my spine as she tried to scream through the tape. Gingerly, I grabbed the knife.
Sold my soul at the crossroads, all for vain glory. Alas I cried but received no pity when the hounds of hell came.
Something was up. Hours ago, it'd been Jim's doodle. Now, he awoke after the threesome, confused. Someone in the bed had sprouted tentacles.
Spindly fingernail on the wind. Scarlet shower on the shirt. Plump eye on the floor. Sweet dinner on the table.
Sticky life dripped off his fangs, as the torn remains of a red shirt hung forlornly in his paws. Rearing his head back, Tigger laughed.
The air felt cool as he walked the woods alone. Liberated, he lit a cigarette and wondered if she was still screaming in that long pine box.
The bananas started shaking. From within the bunch, I could hear "ring ring" over and over again. It grabbed me.
The beheaded balloon animals told Lisa that her new home had a clown infestation. From behind her, she heard "honk honk" and giggling.
The door held tight. I would never escape, but he could no longer get in. "Finally peace!" Through the wall I hear, "Mommy...? Is that you?"
The door slowly closing, I suddenly realised I was all alone, and he was already undoing the zipper on his Peter Pan suit.
The feeling of cold spread across her neck. She knew he was with her. He always wanted to be together forever. Killing him let that happen
The flesh smelled heady in my nostrils. I drank it in, sighing, giggling delightedly. My heart throbbed within my chest; I was truly alive.
The forest is silent and the moonlight barely reaches the dark soil. The ground is damp with blood. A scream behind you, you whirl... nothing there.
The good thing was I figured out my girlfriend was a pyscho. The bad thing was I figured out after sending her to chop wood.
The Last Man on Earth sat alone. Someone knocks on his door. A note was slid under the door. "I'm coming for you" is all that is written.
The man at the door calmly informed me that he had some wonderful products he was selling. I calmly pumped his man-tits full of rock salt.
The mirror on my desk at the morgue lets me know when someone is behind me. Just once I wish they would still be there when I turned around.
The old gypsy tossed the contents of her hand onto the cloth- the bones and his fate cast.
The only thing I feared more than my mental image of my father, happened when I forgot to lock my bedroom door one night.
The phone rang. He answered it. Something slithered out of the receiver and into his ear. It chewed a hole through his brain.
The rain dribbled down his chin like applesauce on a stubborn infant. As the knife pierced his belly flab, he wept for what might have been.
The serial killer enjoyed plunging his knife into the back of unsuspecting Internet surfers' necks while they stared at their screens.
The silence of the day was at an end and the chaos of night was upon them again. Rick checked the boards on his window and loaded his gun.
The silence was broken by multiple gunshots. Between shots you could hear a maniacal laughter filling the air followed by kids screaming.
The silhouette of the child against the charred remains of the wall served as the last memorial mankind would have. The earth knew peace.
The tapping against the window was the only thing that reminded me he wasalive. I got up and turned the oven's temperature up higher.
The toilet. It came out of the damn toilet. He was waiting with his knife at the front door when he heard the splash, then... THE TENTACLES.
The voices in the shed sang my death, yet still I went, like a mean rat to the piper's tune, my brain screaming but my feet pulling me on.
The world watched in horror at the scene unfolding on t.v. On January 20, 2013, Dick Cheney was sworn in as President of the United States!
There was never so much blood in all the world. Plum made the floor slippery! Don' reckon my ma'd've 'proved. Good thing the blood was hers.
They looked into each other's eyes. "I love you," whispered Rush. "I know," cooed Barack. "Let's get bipartisan."
They say not to bite my nails, but that's my favorite part. That's where I find the skin, and can still taste the struggle.
Those aboard the International Space Station looked down upon their burning world; the flames spelled out one word: SHEGO.
Two people walk alone in the woods. "This is scary" says the girl. "You think this is scary?" says the man. "I'll have to walk back alone!"
Union soldiers crested the hill. Behind them rose a dark shadow, swatting away our musket fire. I held my ground as it swallowed Ryan whole.
Visit the dead to discover their secret, the gypsy promised. One by one teeth fell from dry sockets, my skin bubbling with ancient plague.
Was it the lizard brains or the eel liver? What exotic food sickened me so? My stomach bulges, tears as scaly tentacles thrash forth.
We heard howls that night. By morning, the children were missing and never seen again.
When classes were out, Annie left the room, only to realize she hadn't been to school in fifteen years.
When she served me the cojones del toro, I finally realized why she'd smiled a litte every time she called me her bull over the years.
When the night is still and the sky is dark, sit still and stare into a mirror. Maybe your reflection won't be content to just sit still and stare back.
Why yes, it was a shock finding so many spider eggs. Pretty though, and matched the color of the cookies I was making so well. Have another?
With one hand the man read the newspaper; with the other, he tore out a man’s heart. Somewhere in the funnies, Marmaduke snarled in triumph.
Wolfman had nards. Got rid of Dracula. Lost Frank. Phoebe cried.
Yo white lady runnin' from me, I hate you and I'm gonna kill you, but Jamie Lee Curtis had the best horror pratfall of all time. OF ALL TIME!

Did you allow multiple submissions? I didn't think we had that many members period.

Charlie Dont Surf said:

Did you allow multiple submissions? I didn't think we had that many members period.

Click to expand...

Multiple submissions were allowed. And we have more members than entries.

Dave said:

And we have more members than entries.

Click to expand...

...sounds like...my...prom...night?

ThatNickGuy;287693][quote=Dave said:

And we have more members than entries.

Click to expand...

...sounds like...my...prom...night? [/QUOTE]

either one of these phrases could work for a halforums slogan, but the first one would be better than the second

How are they being judged again?

MindDetective said:

How are they being judged again?

Click to expand...

I had at first planned on doing it myself and then was hit with more entries than I could shake a stick at. So I Tweeted for help but none was forthcoming.

So that's why I put it on here so people could discuss.

I know which one is my favorite, but I can't classify it as spooky. It's literally chilling to me, though. It's also fairly obvious who wrote it so I won't say anything else at this time.

Well, considering you already said ti on a podcast.

Shannow said:

Well, considering you already said ti on a podcast.

Click to expand...

Aye. I just wish it were spooky.

I only submitted one entry so I doubt I will win but I wish best of luck to whoever does win

If you already have a favorite, announce it! Your contest, your rules!

Dave;287726][quote=Shannow said:

Well, considering you already said ti on a podcast.

Click to expand...

Aye. I just wish it were spooky.[/QUOTE]

Well, go with the other idea we had on that cast: do different categories and divide the prize.

Shannow;287730][quote=Dave;287726][quote=Shannow said:

Well, considering you already said ti on a podcast.

Click to expand...

Aye. I just wish it were spooky.[/quote]

Well, go with the other idea we had on that cast: do different categories and divide the prize.[/QUOTE]

I would but people wrote in hoping to win $100 and I will honor that.

But categorizing is still a good idea even if I don't have the time.

HUMOR:

• "Are you ready to be sworn in to the presidency, Ms. Hilton?"
• "Guess what dear? My Mom is coming to stay with us for a few months."
• "Oh. Hello, Hylian. Won't you come in?"
• "Why didn't I feed you?!" she cried as he finished feasting on her kneecaps. Hamtaro paused, for one brief moment to laugh at her grief.
• “Yeargh!” “Dear! You're awake!” “What a nightmare! I dreamt Palin/Quale won the election!” “They did dear. It's 2014.”
• And then after three days, Jesus became a zombie!
• Dear Sir, Your 1040 has been randomly selected for an audit. Please respond with a convenient time and date to visit your local IRS office.
• Departed Boston a little while back. Hit some turbulence just now. Muslim guy seated beside me is sweating profusely.
• First clue I had that my wife was a vampire was when she bit my ass. Of course I didn't realize it at the time; I assumed that was her kink.
• He looked out his window. Beyond was pure madness. He fell. Turns out it was sparta.
• He stood, naked and sweating, over bodies lain on years of old comics pages. The knife raised again as he screamed, "Fuck you, it's funny!".
• I started to regret demanding the bitch give me a sammich at about the same time my stomach started heaving while I bled out the mouth.
• Look, I can lay a line, you know? So I laid this whopper ... then I had her. Shit was going well, well as can be ... then I saw her dick.
• My uncle's house has a ghost that watches me sleep and gives me tongue kisses that taste like alcohol.
• She bit her lip, then shrieked as he laughed in that tinkling manner of his and blew her back out with his super sperm. Edward gasped.

Um... wow. This will take a while...

Here are the ones I didn't completely hate:

"I'm sorry," the mad priest said. "You saw her naked and so they must be cleansed." The needle smelled of ammonia as it pierced my eye.

"Suicide Susan. Suicide Susan. Suicide Susan." Nothing happened. "What a dumb..." I thought. Blood began to trickle from my eyes.

10 31 09 seconds here even despite irate eavesdropping shills. Illegal.from future.140 chars get thru.avoid red flags.read 1st letters

Amanda wailed as her faithful hound lay bleeding and lifeless. Her eyes closed as she sobbed. She felt a gentle lick on her hand.

Arms pinned now, the cold water reached her chin. She looked to the distant light trying to remember when the sound of rain calmed her.

Five kids, four kids, chop chop chop chop three kids, two kids eat their tongues

He laid a hand on her shoulder. She wouldn't have minded, except that it wasn't his.

He's eccentric, this one, his wall covered in faces, all photos or sketches. "They're all dead," he sighed. Seems an odd place for a mirror.

My lush prison spans 273 paces, a meadow hanging in a void. Every death, every escape from the eyes that speckle the sky grants me futility.

10 31 09 seconds here even despite irate eavesdropping shills. Illegal.from future.140 chars get thru.avoid red flags.read 1st letters

Click to expand...

I don't understand this one. I get some of the first letters "she dies" but after that it garbles for me.

---------- Post added at 11:30 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:18 AM ----------

Some of these are so damned good.

This one's good. Made good use of the form:

Two people walk alone in the woods. "This is scary" says the girl. "You think this is scary?" says the man. "I'll have to walk back alone!"

Dave said:

10 31 09 seconds here even despite irate eavesdropping shills. Illegal.from future.140 chars get thru.avoid red flags.read 1st letters

Click to expand...

I don't understand this one. I get some of the first letters "she dies" but after that it garbles for me.

Click to expand...

It just seems like a really desperate scrambled message sent out under duress. Like the final captain's log of some situation that got real fucked up. Although the clumsy "read 1st letters" part (she dies) kind of makes me want to take it off.

---------- Post added at 11:35 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:35 AM ----------

fade said:

This one's good. Made good use of the form:

Two people walk alone in the woods. "This is scary" says the girl. "You think this is scary?" says the man. "I'll have to walk back alone!"

Click to expand...

it's also an old joke that I'm 100% positive the person didn't write themself

Yeah that's an old Micheal Jackson joke.

---------- Post added at 06:00 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:59 PM ----------

at least I heard it that way. Mikey didn't really kill kids in the woods

I was SO happy they found balloon boy safe and sound! I thought MJ was ordering takeout from heaven!

Vytamindi said:

I was SO happy they found balloon boy safe and sound! I thought MJ was ordering takeout from heaven!

Click to expand...

LOL Winner.

ElJuski said:

Yeah that's an old Micheal Jackson joke.

---------- Post added at 06:00 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:59 PM ----------

at least I heard it that way. Mikey didn't really kill kids in the woods

Click to expand...

Too bad. I was impressed.

Vytamindi said:

I was SO happy they found balloon boy safe and sound! I thought MJ was ordering takeout from heaven!

Click to expand...

did you send this into textsfromlastnight dot com?

I think the best way to do this would be to just have Dave take maybe 10-20 of his favs (or just his favorites from each person), then ask us to vote on them. There are WAY too many entries to vote for right now. Besides, he's the guy fronting the prize... he should have a bit more say then the rest of us.

Edit: I think the reason no one offered to help with the judging is because most of us have an entry.

AshburnerX said:

I think the best way to do this would be to just have Dave take maybe 10-20 of his favs (or just his favorites from each person), then ask us to vote on them. There are WAY too many entries to vote for right now. Besides, he's the guy fronting the prize... he should have a bit more say then the rest of us.

Edit: I think the reason no one offered to help with the judging is because most of us have an entry.

Click to expand...

^

Yeah, I was trying to get people from my Twitter followers who didn't have a vested interest.

I'm culling out the ones I am not fond of and will be putting up a much more succinct list soon.

AshburnerX said:

I think the best way to do this would be to just have Dave take maybe 10-20 of his favs (or just his favorites from each person), then ask us to vote on them. There are WAY too many entries to vote for right now. Besides, he's the guy fronting the prize... he should have a bit more say then the rest of us.

Edit: I think the reason no one offered to help with the judging is because most of us have an entry.

Click to expand...

And most of them are awful. Now that we're not in the topic, I can say that. Either trying for too much description or just trying to say an idea rather than convey it. Yeah, it's tough to do in 140 characters. The smarter people aimed for dialogue; it required gleaning sometimes, but it's the best way to convey within that limit.

It had been hard, caring for so many cats. Now, as she fed them one last time, she wondered what they would do once her bones were clean.

Click to expand...

is easily the best of the lot, and I say that having 3 or 4 entries myself which are not that one.

escushion said:

It had been hard, caring for so many cats. Now, as she fed them one last time, she wondered what they would do once her bones were clean.

Click to expand...

is easily the best of the lot, and I say that having 3 or 4 entries myself which are not that one.

Click to expand...

See, I disagree. That seems to be more depressing or sorrowful. The object of the contest was to make a somewhat scary tweet. That just doesn't give me fear... it sounds more like she slipped and broke her back than something truly frightening happened.

escushion;287950][quote=AshburnerX said:

I think the best way to do this would be to just have Dave take maybe 10-20 of his favs (or just his favorites from each person), then ask us to vote on them. There are WAY too many entries to vote for right now. Besides, he's the guy fronting the prize... he should have a bit more say then the rest of us.

Edit: I think the reason no one offered to help with the judging is because most of us have an entry.

Click to expand...

And most of them are awful. Now that we're not in the topic, I can say that. Either trying for too much description or just trying to say an idea rather than convey it. Yeah, it's tough to do in 140 characters. The smarter people aimed for dialogue; it required gleaning sometimes, but it's the best way to convey within that limit.
[/QUOTE]

I disagree almost completely with you. I find many of these to be clever, and many of them do a pretty good job of conveying a bigger story. Some are stupid sure. Mostly the humor ones.

Telling a spooky story with so few characters is a big challenge. A lot of the entries focused more on mood than an actual story (mine included), but there are also a lot of them that are short, sweet, AND spooky.

I love the cat one, too.

AshburnerX;287982][quote=escushion said:

It had been hard, caring for so many cats. Now, as she fed them one last time, she wondered what they would do once her bones were clean.

Click to expand...

is easily the best of the lot, and I say that having 3 or 4 entries myself which are not that one.

Click to expand...

See, I disagree. That seems to be more depressing or sorrowful. The object of the contest was to make a somewhat scary tweet. That just doesn't give me fear... it sounds more like she slipped and broke her back than something truly frightening happened.[/QUOTE]

That's fine; it's the best written then.

None of them scared me then. You're not going to get fear out of a Twitter feed, only convey the sense of it. That's the best you can do. A Twitter feed's worth is not going to get you nervous, keep you up at night, or give you nightmares even from the best horror writer in the world. To convey fear is where you can aim. To scare someone, you're slamming your head into a brick wall.

Actually, I'm curious then, which of these frightened you?

EDIT: I did think many were clever or funny, but I thought most of the ones trying for what the contest aimed were on the worse half of the entries.

But hey, that's me, and if others got more enjoyment from the scary entries, then they achieved something. And I'm glad Dave did the contest to get people thinking, because it IS a challenge.

escushion said:

Actually, I'm curious then, which of these frightened you?

Click to expand...

Hmm... these are my 5 picks. All gave me a feeling that something terrible was about to or already happened. Not exactly a chill mind you, but they at least seemed to be on topic.

When she served me the cojones del toro, I finally realized why she'd smiled a litte every time she called me her bull over the years.

The tapping against the window was the only thing that reminded me he wasalive. I got up and turned the oven's temperature up higher.

I climbed into my bed, sad and cold. Fighting back tears, I whispered to myself, "Why am I so alone?"..."You're not," came a raspy response.

Arms pinned now, the cold water reached her chin. She looked to the distant light trying to remember when the sound of rain calmed her.

"D-daddy?" The small noise that came from the meat meant nothing to him. Only the hunger mattered. He fed. Her scream soon cut short.

Click to expand...

#2 and #3 of those choices I will give props to; those were good.

2's my favorite out of those.

escushion;287950][quote=AshburnerX said:

I think the best way to do this would be to just have Dave take maybe 10-20 of his favs (or just his favorites from each person), then ask us to vote on them. There are WAY too many entries to vote for right now. Besides, he's the guy fronting the prize... he should have a bit more say then the rest of us.

Edit: I think the reason no one offered to help with the judging is because most of us have an entry.

Click to expand...

And most of them are awful. Now that we're not in the topic, I can say that. Either trying for too much description or just trying to say an idea rather than convey it. Yeah, it's tough to do in 140 characters. The smarter people aimed for dialogue; it required gleaning sometimes, but it's the best way to convey within that limit.

It had been hard, caring for so many cats. Now, as she fed them one last time, she wondered what they would do once her bones were clean.

Click to expand...

is easily the best of the lot, and I say that having 3 or 4 entries myself which are not that one.[/QUOTE]

*lol* Ya'll realize he's just trying to stir the pot and cause a bit of trouble. He salivates over the chaos and responses. I'd know; he's sitting right next to me going, "Hot topic! People are responding! YAY!"

xD ... I'm going to be dead before morning, aren't I?

I do not, that's you, Eris.

I was not desiring chaos; I was just expecting it. Look to Gasbandit for purposefully stirring the pot.

Sure, I could say this outloud, since we're in the same room, but this is in public. BICKERING!

/me throws an apple inscribed "Kallisti" into the party and runs for the hills.

D'aw, y'all are cute. ^_^

Oh right! The contest.

Here are the final 8 with a review of why I liked it. The way that I got to these 8 was I erased the ones I didn't think would win and that left me with 64. I mixed these up and took them 2 at a time, choosing which one I liked the best. Then when I had the 32 I mixed them up and did the same thing. Once I got down to the 8 I sent an email around to a few choice individuals here at work and the one they choose will be the winner.

"I'm sorry," the mad priest said. "You saw her naked and so they must be cleansed." The needle smelled of ammonia as it pierced my eye.

Click to expand...

This one is all kinds of creepy. The feeling of helplessness and fear as the mad priest does his cleansing. Good imagery.

Arms pinned now, the cold water reached her chin. She looked to the distant light trying to remember when the sound of rain calmed her.

Click to expand...

This one speaks to fears - death, drowning, being trapped. The bittersweet ending is what makes this one stand out. The stark differences between the fear and the remembrance makes this one cool.

He couldn't hear her anymore, but the shape of her face, pressing up from the beneath the surface of wall, kept screaming as he walked away.

Click to expand...

This one is very Edgar Allan Poe. It reminds me a lot of The Cask of Amontillado.

I don't recognize myself anymore. These hands are not my own, this face is that of a stranger and monstrous to me. God help me for loving it.

Click to expand...

Have you ever done something you immediately regretted? What if you liked what you'd done? This one speaks to all of us on a very animalistic level.

I looked into the mirror, and said to my reflection, "I don't know if I can do this." As I turned away, I heard it whisper back, "I know."

Click to expand...

Is the person insane or is there more going on here? This story hints of something larger but still conveys the tension of the moment.

It had been hard, caring for so many cats. Now, as she fed them one last time, she wondered what they would do once her bones were clean.

Click to expand...

Crazy cat ladies (real ones, not Zen) are looked at as potentially unstable. This one takes it a step further and gives herself fully to the animals she cares so deeply about.

She giggled. No one would look in the dark closet. Through his noose-bent neck, the hanging man shared the laugh and reached towards her.

Click to expand...

This one has wonderfully creepy imagery. The little girl playing hide-n-seek is oblivious to the evil being sharing the confined space. I particularly liked the word play with "noose-bent neck".

Union soldiers crested the hill. Behind them rose a dark shadow, swatting away our musket fire. I held my ground as it swallowed Ryan whole.

Click to expand...

This one making the list surprised even me but I love the play of alternate history and the "monster" angle.


I should have an answer and award sometime today.


---------- Post added at 08:58 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:46 AM ----------

Okay, this was faster than I thought. There were two total standouts. The first is the contest winner and the second was one that didn't really fit the parameters of the contest but was very moving and well done.

The contest winner of a $100 gift card to the online store of their choice is...

FUN SIZE!

The winning entry was this one:

She giggled. No one would look in the dark closet. Through his noose-bent neck, the hanging man shared the laugh and reached towards her.

Click to expand...

I think the image and wordplay of the "noose-bent neck" is what drew people to the entry.

Congrats, Fun Size!


The second entry that deserves recognition is from DocSeverin.

My world explodes, incredible silence follows, and two friends gone. I walk away without a scratch...how can I live?

Click to expand...

Maybe it's because I'm former military, but this one struck a chord deep within me. For 140 characters this entry has pain, confusion, loss. It's frankly an amazing entry and shows what you can really do with the Twitter medium.

Thanks to all who participated and I hope you all had a lot of fun with it!

But... but... but... mine had zombies!

Oh well, those are worthy winners, definitely. Congrats Fun Size and Doc.

Holy cow! Thank you very much. I know I was guilty of spamming a bit on this one, but as someone who tends to be very wordy, I thought this was such an excellent challenge. Also, I have to say I'm stunned, as I had picked someone else's entry as the winner early on.

Good job Fun Size!

dang! so close! It does feel good to make it as far as I did though

Congratz funsize!

I DEMAND A RECOUNT!







just kidding


good job Fun Size

WOOHOOO! Congrats, Fun Size, on your winning fun-sized story. ^_^

God dammit! I had TWO in the final eight and I still got beat. FUN SIIIIIIIIIZE!!! (Congrats!)

Congrats Fun Size!

May your pen, like your wit, stay sharp!