Opinions please: Amniocentesis or not

[kaykordeath]

My wife is 13 weeks pregnant, and just had blood test results came back indicating an elevated risk for downs syndrome.

At her age (she'll be 39 in November) we knew all around the numbers would be elevated. Actually, the results show a lower risk for her age group, but an increase risk over a normal pregnancy.

To know for sure, she can have an amnio done, but she's nervous about the additional risks of that procedure. Current statistics show that about 1 in 400 amnios can cause miscarriage. She also argues that whatever the results show isn't going to change our plans. And while I don't argue with that, I think I'd feel more comfortable without the uncertainty. Starting to prepare mentally, research, etc. My nerves are going to be on end at this point...and she agrees...except for the risk (and of course theuncomfort of a needle to uterus).

Thoughts?

 

[strawman]

Down's syndrome can't be diagnosed via ultrasound - like the blood test ultrasound can only give hints. Down's syndrome can only be diagnosed definitively in utero via CVS or amniocentesis. CVS appears to be riskier, and so is performed much less often. Amnio testing has a 1 in 400 to 1 in 1,600 risk of causing miscarriage (various sources quote different risk ratios - I've seen some as high as 1 in 200, but I think they've improved over time). It's rarely done unless there's something to suggest that there's a problem, so it's not really considered a normal procedure.

We've never done it because we've never needed to know badly enough that the risk was worth it. Peace of mind and/or time to prepare can be very important for some couples, extended families, or situations. Miscarriage, especially this far along, can be devastating. The only time we had to go through miscarriage was prior to the heartbeat, and it was bad enough. But we've also never had the family history or other indications that we should be worried, except once (via ultrasound test worries), and even if it had been true it wouldn't have mattered, so we chose not to find out until birth.

Of course everyone is different, so I wouldn't presume to suggest a course of action. It's something you two will have to work out according to your own risk/reward structure.

It's a tough call - good luck.

 

[Chad Sexington]

A friend of the family once explained that most developmental disorders (his son has Down's) aren't significant until the child is about 2 or 3. Babies are babies, they cry and poop and are smelly. The point of this is that, excepting a few disorders, you generally have 2-3 years to learn what you'll need to know then after the baby is born.

 

[phil]

I'd say assume yes, and make preparations and do research accordingly. I can't imagine it would hurt to do so.

 

[Bowielee]

I'll just kind of add to what people have been saying. Even if the child has a potential disorder, it doesn't seem worth it to me to put its life in danger just to know for sure what you'd otherwise find out later anyway.

And as was stated, even developmentally disabled babies aren't all that different from "normal" babies.

 

[kaykordeath]

A friend of the family once explained that most developmental disorders (his son has Down's) aren't significant until the child is about 2 or 3. Babies are babies, they cry and poop and are smelly. The point of this is that, excepting a few disorders, you generally have 2-3 years to learn what you'll need to know then after the baby is born.

Interesting take on it...certainly going to take some extra time to ponder it from that view.

Thanks everyone, so far...certainly one of the most contemplative times I've ever gone through...

 

[Hailey Knight]

My aunt had this same situation and they went with the amnio. The womb was compromised and the baby had to come out months early. Not only did he have Down's Syndrome, but a number of other problems caused by the premature birth.

 

[kaykordeath]

My aunt had this same situation and they went with the amnio. The womb was compromised and the baby had to come out months early. Not only did he have Down's Syndrome, but a number of other problems caused by the premature birth.

Pretty muchmy wife's biggest nightmare...She's made it quite clear that if the doctors do anything wrong, she'd never forgive herself.

 

[strawman]

I don't know if this is your first child, but keep in mind that regardless of the issues the child may have, your perspective will completely change after having the baby for awhile. You are probably filled with doubts and worries, and there's possibly little part of you going, "Well, if the child has down's and a miscarriage happens, that wouldn't be an entirely bad thing..." though you aren't allowed, socially (or apparently in your relationship) to air such thoughts. They are not uncommon.

I can tell you this, though, if you do have a developmentally disabled child you will still not be able to imagine your life without your child some time after the birth. You will love them as much as you would if they were healthy.

An additional 6 months of advanced knowledge isn't going to give you any additional insight, or change how you treat the child once they arrive.

 

[kaykordeath]

I'm not too concerned about expressing my feelings...but I do appreciate the sentiment, thank you.

This would be our second child, though at a gap of 12 years there's going to be some re-learning regardless.

Wifey and I definitely are ready to love unconditionally...I'm just personally the kind of persson who doesn't sit well with a large uncertainty looming....that being said...I am starting to lean towards really seeing clearly how much of a calculated risk the test would be for a benefit that really equals nothing added other than peace of mind...

 

[kaykordeath]

Update:
Fairly sure at this point we're going to pass on the test. The first trimester was somewhat bumpy (minor spotting almost every other day), plus wifey's age...we've both agreed that while the number of pros outweigh the single con...the single con of the potential harm to the baby (terminating the pregnancy) is not worth the risk.

Thanks for your input gang....will keep you posted.