P Diddy Sued for a trillion dollars because of 9/11, a kid and a poker chip

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Wahad

Wahad

Welp

A woman is suing P Diddy for $1 trillion (£635 billion).

Valerie Joyce Wilson Turks, 31, has filed the suit in Los Angeles Superior Court against the rap mogul, his former girlfriend Kim Porter and Rodney King, the man who was a victim of assault by the Los Angeles Police in 1991.

She also claims that her and Diddy have a son together, Cornelius Wilson, who is now 23.

Turks also alleges that Diddy, real name Sean Combs, caused the 9/11 attacks, put her son in hospital and sold a poker chip belonging to her, which she says was worth "100 zillions of dollars".

According to court papers seen by Radaronline.com Turks is asking for $900 billion (£571.5 billion) in child support and $100 billion (£63.5 billion) in lost income.

In papers she has submitted to the court, Turks wrote: "[Diddy] went through Kim Porter and Rodney King and knocked down the World Trade Center and then they all came and knocked my children down. Set me up to be on disability and disabled my baby. He put my baby in a wheelchair."

She added: "I won a lot of money at the casino in Mississippi and Sean P Diddy Combs has my chip to my money. I want my chip please help me. It's well worth over 100 zillions of dollars."

Turks also applied for a restraining order against Diddy, which a judge has denied. Although Turks is not expected to get very far with her lawsuit, the judge has set a court date of January 31 for the case to be heard.
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Emphasis mine.

I am baffled by the amount of crazy in this woman. It is hilarious yet also quite saddening. I don't even know.

Also: 100 ZILLIONS OF DOLLARS! I wonder how much that even is.
 
W

Wasabi Poptart

I had a neighbor who told me that she was once a dancer at a club in Mississippi. Snoop Dogg came to the club and took videos of her dancing from the surveillance room to use in one of his videos. He wanted her to be one of his bitches, but she said she wasn't interested. She didn't realize he had taken these videos until later when she saw herself dancing online. He also came to visit her in California once. He was riding on the back of a garbage truck to disguise himself. She said he told her that she was never to talk about him or she would be black-balled from the entertainment industry. She had been trying to get started in a film career (making movies and doing wardrobe, not starring in them), but couldn't get it off the ground. She figured he had something to do with it.
My suggestion was that she get professional help and medication.
 
Chad Sexington

Chad Sexington

I hate stuff like this: How can celebrities think they can walk all over people and execute terrorist attacks just because they're famous? He doesn't need those 100 zillions of dollars, he just took it because he could. Monstrous.
 
Jay

Jay

1st: it's nowDiddy Dirty Money... so kindly catch up.
2nd: Diddy Dirty Money didn't take no poker chip, it was Benny.
3rd: Iraq started 9/11, of course.
 
P

Philosopher B.

I wish Biggie's ghost would come back and sue Diddy's ass.

And by sue I mean whup his candy ass.
 
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