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What parenting books do you recommend reading that can coach young parents proper methods and ideology deal to their children?

For example, when telling a child/infant "NO", it's always good to always say "BECAUSE". Sure, they might not understand but when I started doing just that, my success rate went from 10% to almost 50% and it's slowly getting better, the more time I invest, the better results I get.

I'd like to read some books people can recommend.

Thanks.

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I'm at a loss to recommend a specific book. Most of our books are more of the technical nature (Caring for Your Baby and Young Child, What to Expect: The First and Second Year, etc.) and a combination of random articles, advice from our pediatrician, psychology classes, life experience and forums. I did also read The Wonder of Boys, which is a study on the psychological development of boys, but I don't think it would apply to your situation. Even after all that, I don't think there's one specific source that has met all our parenting needs/philosophies. I think it helps that Mr. Z and I continue to talk about that ideologies/goals/values we want to raise Li'l Z with and try to find guidelines from there.

Your daughter is a bit old for it now, but my wife and I really liked Babywise. The first one. The second is not great. You can safely ignore the the author's religious interjections and focus on the advice. It worked really well for sleep training. It's pretty easy to get your kid sleeping through by 8 weeks. It basically boils down to "a little crying isn't going to hurt your kid". They follow similar trends for older children.

I also recommend The Spirited Child of you are so ... fortunate to have one of those gifted yet defiant and impulsive type like my oldest.

My girlfriend lent me "What to Expect: The Toddler Years." It's pretty insightful and has a number of tips. She's tried a number of them and many have turned out well for her.

This book came highly recommended.


...we never read our copy, but it came extremely highly recommended.
I keep saying I'm going to.

--Patrick

Kids are like Ikea - only pussies read the manuals.

Babycenter.com.isn't bad for just guidelines by age.

So much brofist on the "I want to sleep in, but I think my kid might be dead" bit.

Parenting Books? None of our six children came with instruction manuals, but somehow my wife and I managed to nurture and guide them to successful adulthood by doing what comes naturally.

There are probably more parenting books and philosophies than there are children in the world. What I believe is right for my family and children might go completely against your own values.
That said, I think the best book I read on parenting was not a parenting book. It was a childhood development book required for a psych course I had to take. Second would have been my behavioral psych book. Why? Because then I understood the reason behind the behaviors and how to address them more effectively for different developmental stages. That's just me. I grew up in a household where the adults were all very authoritarian and my feelings didn't matter. I never was given a chance to explain myself if I broke a rule. I wasn't given choices (age appropriate choices, not a free-for-all). I didn't want to raise my own kids that way because I grew up feeling like if I talked to anyone, even outside of my family, I would be punished for it. I try my best to be what is called authoritative and give consequences that make sense.

stienman said:

nothing says "my life isn't going according to plan" quite like microwaving dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets and french fries for dinner...

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Yeah, that food's for kids... certainly not adults... especially adults without kids.... Eating that would just be the worst.

stienman said:

Parenting Tip: Place fake present under tree with unruly child's name on it and when he misbehaves toss it into the burning fireplace

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I think this is one of the most amusing things I've seen in months.

--Patrick

Jay said:

..... the more time I invest, the better results I get.

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You answered for yourself. The wisdom is right there. The second part is just realizing that the natural evolution of parenting is simply just trying to do a little better than your parents did so that generations down the line someone will get it right. It won't be you. No matter what you do, but you already have the biggest part figured out. Next, understand that sometimes investment of time is also done by allowing individual growth and investing time in yourself.

Jay said:

Thanks.

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You're welcome.

Thanks those of you who provided some constructive suggestions, I'll take them into consideration.

Another question, when I went for a dental clean-up today, I spoke to my dental hygienist about my daughter and when we should bring her in for her first visit, she recommended 3. We've already started to get her interested in brushing her teeth with moderate success, she copies us when we do ours but stops after 10-15 seconds and when we try it... err.... need a lifehack on that.

She recommended a book to buy for her to introduce her to dentists and all that, how did you folks approach D-Day?

IANAP, but... as for dentist, it really depends on how you handle it. Children who hate going to the dentist, as with other things, really seem to pick up on the way the parents treat it. Don't treat it as something she has to endure, or worse, something you hate yourself - she'll feel the negative vibes and react accordingly. A dentist is really only unpleasant if you have cavities or otherwise need painful stuff done - just cleaning your teeth and a check up aren't actually all that disagreeable (though slightly more so for children as they usually can't open up wide enough ). For some children the biggest issue is the whole "sitting still for 5 minutes while someone pokes around and tickles/pushes/prods around in your face". Treating it like "D-Day", dreading it and trying to warn her for it seems more counterproductive going by all children around me I've seen.

Our dentist recommends 6 months just to start getting them used to going, and will do those first couple of years free/cheap. If you have dental it's not a bad idea. Both of my kids get really excited about going.

I dread the dentist because I had very bad experiences with bad dentists as a child, and anytime I need xrays I gag on the bitewing to the point of throwing up if they don't get it fast enough. This is using child size bitewings.

Our dentist recommended waiting until 3 as well. For the past year we've been getting Li'l Z in the habit of brushing every night, and guiding his brushing to make sure he hits all his teeth after he "brushes", a.k.a chewing on the toothbrush to get to the training toothpaste and occasionally remembering to move the brush. He's still not great at brushing on his own, but he doesn't think twice about it being part of his nightly routine. We say "time to brush your teeth" and he runs right to the sink.

My kids dentist is my best friends mom and if they have to go in for anything other than like a checkup she had xanax

Our pediatricians recommended 18 months for the first appointment. All they do is look at their teeth, no cleaning or xrays. I would say try a pediatric dentist. It didn't work out for us because Noah was more interested in playing with the toys and would have a fit when we'd have to go in for the examination. We go to a family practice. Both of my kids like our dentist. It helps that Noah couldn't say Watanabe when we first got here and called him Dr. Obi-Wan Kenobi instead.
If she will only tolerate you brushing her teeth for a short period then brush them as best you can. We were given a toothbrush for Lily, when she was a toddler, that had an extra long handle. It was specifically for parents to brush a young child's teeth. It really helped. I can't find it online, but the dentist had them.

Dave said:

Kids are like Ikea - only pussies read the manuals.

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And you can just throw away the leftover bits.

Null said:

And you can just throw away the leftover bits.

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And getting one is fun at first but then you descend into the bowels of hell and endure a lot of pain?

Dave said:

only pussies read the manuals.

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--Patrick

Null said:

And you can just throw away the leftover bits.

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Bris?