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If I could get some critiques of my profile that would be greatly appreciated. I already know I need to get some better photos uploaded. I had put those in there until I could take some better photos but my face broke out over the weekend and I am trying to wait until it heals up.



http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Hylian-Knight/

...you want to discuss the fact that they are adding a new Pokémon type.

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Jesus Christ

That was meant to a be a joke opener for a conversation.

Hylian said:

That was meant to a be a joke opener for a conversation.

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Tone is hard to convey in text. People are going to read that however they want, and most people will think you care a little too much about it, maybe.

As for the pictures, take two of those out. Right now it looks like mug shots but outside and with a nice shirt. Add one with you and a friend or something, or one where you're out doing something.

Talk a little bit more about some of the things that make you, you. Why are you a vegetarian? How important is that to you? What's your job? How long have you had it? What's your living situation like? Knowing things like that right off the bat helps alleviate doubt about potential deal breakers.

Get rid of the emoticons. Argh.

I'm gonna go section by section and give you my feedback. I have my own profile, which you can go look at; I'm not saying it's perfect by any stretch but I have managed a few dates out of it.
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/DoriansPortrait?cf=profile

Self Summary:
You're too vague here, for the most part. "I'm an easy-going individual... enjoys hanging out with friends..." Find me a person who describes themselves as "uptight and I hate my friends." There isn't a lot of substance or information here. You've basically said "I am a normal person." A good rule is 'show, don't tell.' In the way you write or describe yourself, you can portray the fact that you're easygoing, or that you do things with friends.

You then use the word 'hobbies' twice in as many sentences without telling me anything about your hobbies except that you enjoy them and change them often in an effort to grow. I would instead write about a hobby or two, and maybe how you feel they've helped you grow. "Getting out of the house and learning salsa dancing last summer really boosted my confidence and energy!" "Learning guitar has helped me appreciate music in new ways." Etc.

The same goes for the rain thing. Tell about what you like, not that you like it. "I like rain." Well, to someone like me, who finds rain a dreary pain in the ass, I'm gonna go, "kay then..." but if you write about how it's nostalgic because of xyz, or you enjoy the smell of rain, or the moody atmosphere. I'm not saying to wax philosophical or write a poem, just say a little bit of 'why' in addition to the facts.

"I have a great sense of humour," is an insane thing to say. No one, no one on the entire planet thinks they don't have a great sense of humour. Show, don't tell! Be funny in your profile, in whatever style you like to be funny in (though remember things like sarcasm are hard to detect via text sometimes).

What Am I Doing with My Life:
Don't complain about your job. Even just saying 'sometimes it's taxing.' Nobody likes a whiner. You say you've had the job for six years; that's good! Shows stability, etc.

The next part with your hobbies is disjointed. You start talking about hobbies, then mention the gym (do you consider that a hobby?), then go back to some hobbies. Talk about working out, if that's a significant part of your life, anyway, then talk about each activity in turn, why you like it, what you get out of it, same as above, really. Also avoid jargon/acronyms. What's HTPC? I don't know without Googling, and your account shouldn't say "I am worth doing extra research to understand." Nobody's that cool.

I'm Really Good At:
This section is about the stuff you're good at. So please don't begin every sentence with "I'm really good at..." It's repetitive. Just talk about the thing. "I have a knack for diagnosing computer problems, and really enjoy my work because of this." "I love to do research and reading up on various topics that interest me."

These are just starting points, feel free to elaborate into paragraphs of course. Also don't use the word 'random'. You don't have an urge to learn about random things. You're not random. No one is random. This is just a pet peeve of mine.

First Thing People Notice:
Except for emoticon, which I would eliminate, this is good. It's true: you're tall, and it's a quirky fact that you're regularly asked for help because of it. Plus it portrays as someone people feel they can approach.

Favourite stuff:
This is a list of stuff you like. Hard to be wrong/bad. Unless you wrote "Heroin and hookers" or something.

Six Things:
I think this is a stupid question, but since OKC asks it, I'll critique your answer. Computer/Internet are basically the same to most people. Don't list them separately. Find something else to add in here.

I spend a lot of time thinking about...
The first and third things you've written go well together, put them together. You have several instances of disjointed sentences/thoughts in your profile. Try to keep similar topics together, this is a basic writing skill.

Friday Night:
Concise honest answer. Works for me.

Private Thing to Admit:
Is that really private to you? I mean, don't get me wrong, I also think this question is dumb but if you're going to answer it, answer it with an actual private thing or a good joke. That you are annoyed by stepping on cracks isn't going to make people think you're being open, funny or interesting.

You Should Message Me If:
Narrow this down to like... two things, or a simple sentence. Only one of those is a conversation starter: vegetarian recipes. The rest are either jokes (pokemon? muffin man? turn signals?) or too niche (MLP? Ender's Game?) to cast a wide net. While I've said jokes are good, you want more of your genuine side to come through (I assume). Vegetarian recipes, awesome. What else? Maybe 'if you're the type to grab a pint and watch the rain from the warmth of the pub.'

Anyway, this isn't meant to sound overly critical, I'm just hopefully offering useful advice. Cast aside whatever you feel is unhelpful, and use what might work. Good luck!

Chad Sexington gives good advice. Comedy is going to be hard to convey over a profile. You may think it's funny and you're being sarcastic, but a lot of the women have been hit up by people who actually mean it. They'll be on edge and that will set off their "Oh shit!" alarm.

Also post an example or two of your intro letter. That will make or break you right away. If it's bad they won't even look at your profile.

Hylian said:

I really suck when it comes to trying to up-selling myself, so I really appreciate all the advice. As far as the Pokémon comment goes I would be in truth happy to discuss it but I mostly put there as a joke since I know most of the women on the site or not going to be into that. But I do see what you are talking about with humor being hard to convey. I am going to take a crack at rewriting several sections based on your recommendations. As I mentioned before though I have a hard time up-selling myself (I tend to be over critical and have a hard time finding the positives) and I know I could ask my family and friends but as sad as it may sound I don't trust them enough to have any part of this. So while I know I don't really know all of you in great depth and vice versa I would still be grateful if you could offer any positive points that you may have noticed about me on the boards. (I know how pathetic that is to ask and I apologize for having to ask it).

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Nosce te ipsum. Know thyself.

I'm not being glib with that advice, it is among the most valuable things you can learn.

It is also true that being overly critical of yourself is a form of selfishness; people seldom acknowledge this. It is just as selfish to think yourself particularly awful or pathetic as it is to think yourself particularly great. The impact is often the same: people dislike you (though not for the reasons you believe they do) and your cycle of self-centredness continues because you think they're dislike of you validates your beliefs. To combat this, try to view what is true, not what is believed. Is it pathetic to ask others for perspective on your personality? I don't think so, no. I think it is more valuable to find those things for yourself (nosce te ipsum), but it is entirely human and normal to have self-doubt. It is not normal to let those self-doubts cripple your life.

You think a new father is walking around thinking "Yes, I shall raise the perfect child, and make no errors!" or is he wondering, "Oh god I have to be responsible for this person's lifetime; I am going to shape her relationships, her values, her future and by extension the lives of everyone she meets, holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit I might need help with this duty."? It's more the second, unless he's a narcissist. But he doesn't have to betray those feelings constantly to everyone. He can appear confident, and trusting. "This has come to many men before me, and society hasn't collapsed. Surely I can endure this charge and receive all its joys too."

You're not pathetic to ask us for perspective, but I would reflect first that all people have doubts, and most of them still put themselves forward. What makes you so different? The answer is nothing, except that you're selfish enough to let those doubts prevent you from taking action.

I guess the TL;DR is: Do, or do not. There is no try.

And you're not pathetic.

I thought the Pokemon thing was cute, personally. I go about these kinds of things in a really stubborn way, though. If it were me, my thinking would be, "If they think that sounds stupid, fuck em, I don't want to date them anyway." So I guess you could call me very "you can't fire me; I quit" when it comes to dating. I understand that a little bit of compromise and easing in is in good, but that's just me I guess.

I agree that the first section could be a bit less vague. Everyone seems to write "easy going" or "all around nice guy." It gets a bit tiresome.

I went through an reworked most of the areas. Although I haven't finished the self-summary yet, I seem to be having a hard time thinking of what to write for that section. I decided that for at least now I am going to keep the Pokemon comment at the end but I did remove the rest of the joke comments. Not counting the self-summary (since I am still working on that) can you give the rest a quick glance through to see if it looks any better?

Hylian said:

(I know how pathetic that is to ask and I apologize for having to ask it).

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I don't think that it is pathetic. I am quite certain that all the posters on here are a bit introverted and have some social issues. Well, except for Docseverin, but he's a living legend. Don't knock yourself down too much especially in front of the ladies. Self-criticism is the same as self-egoism - they're both about self. Be honest, don't try to be something you're not, and don't apologize for being nerdy.

I'm waiting on an appointment so I probably won't be able to write everything I feel like, but I'll say that you should mention a few things you do with groups; it makes you seem more social, which is perceived well. For instance, you say your friends and family like your cooking; talk about cooking for/with friends and how you enjoy it.

I feel like it's a much better framework now. Depending on how much you want to say in it, it may be fine. I'm a control freak and like to edit the hell out of everything so I'm not gonna go through and tell you "This should read like this, and this should be worded like that!" if I can help it [DOUBLEPOST=1371595025][/DOUBLEPOST]Since you're pretty obviously on the geek side of the fence, this guide might be helpful. Haven't had time to read it myself though. Caveat emptor and all: http://geeksdreamgirl.com/services/geeks-guide-to-success-in-online-dating/

Most people would rather chat privately than put things out there, which is understandable. Stalkers and all.

As someone who has used OKcupid successfully, I can tell you that women are going to be wading through dozens of vague profiles a week if not a day. It got really tiring when you heard the same thing over and over again. The first and only time I’d ever used online dating, I swore to be completely honest with both myself and whoever contacted me. Worked like a charm.


Do not be afraid to let the “geek flag fly” as one of my friends told me. You want a person who is going to want to be with you because of these interests and not despite them. I’m a huge feminist. There’s no way I was going to date a guy who didn’t respect that. At the same time, when I first met the General, I’d never seen any Star Wars movies and thought Joss Whedon was a girl. One year and an engagement ring later, I know better.

So, has your new profile provided you with any leads that you can beedrill until they squirtle?

So far nothing has resulted from my opening a OkCupid profile, which I am sadly not surprised by but it may yet yield results so I am somewhat optimistic.

It's a numbers game

Too many penii to peruse.

Third declension, homie.

Well, just to necro this thread, how about you lot look at my profile on Plenty of Fish? I've tried OkCupid, but honestly, there are many more women on PoF.

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=55458891