Puns, fothermucker!

Status
Not open for further replies.
ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Yeah, that's right. We're gonna have ourselves a thread dedicated to puns. I got me some catching up to do.

-I dreamt I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted.
-Time to write something positive for a change. So...proton!
-I can't watch orchestras perform, anymore. There's just too much sax & violins on TV.
-Do you think Jesus had a cross to bear with the Romans?
-Butter only makes things taste margarinely better.
-Bake sales are just an excuse to make a lot of dough.

Ahhhhh. *sits back with a beer and relaxes* I feel much better, now.
 
Wahad

Wahad

Birds dont mind fowl weather. In fact they usually find it just ducky. Although some might chicken out after awhile.
 
ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Ironically enough, I couldn't think of a punny title at the time (it's been a long day). And when I went back to edit the thread with a better title, I discovered I couldn't. So...suck it! :p
 
Z

Zumbo Prime

Game pun.

Why's can't you run when mowing down civilians in the airport in Modern Warfare 2?

No Rushin'.
 
S

Shadazz

What do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a sheep? A woolly jumper! HURK HURK DURK HURK
 
twitchmoss

twitchmoss

two eskimos were sitting in a canoe, and were very chilly. so they decided to try and keep warm by lighting a small fire. unfortunately, the fire went out of control, and sank the canoe.

the moral of the story is that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

a pair of weevils grew up living in the country together, until one decided to go to the city, and became a ceo of a major company. the other stayed in the country, and became the lesser of two weevils.
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
NSFW:

Once there was a little water flea, sitting on a lily pad. It got hungry and thought about eating some of the pad.

"I think I'll wait a bit longer", thought the water flea. "Then, when I'm a little more hungry, the lily pad will taste all the better." So the water flea waited.

Unbeknownst to the water flea, a frog had also come to the pond, and it noticed the water flea - and decided to eat it.

"I think I'll wait a little bit longer", thought the frog. "If I wait until the flea bites that lily pad, I get a touch more food." So the frog waited.

Unbeknownst to the frog, a cat also came to the pond, and it noticed the frog - and decided to eat it.

"I think I'll wait a little bit longer", thought the cat. "If I wait until the frog eats that water flea, I get a touch more food." So the cat waited.

Finally, the water flea bit on the lily pad, the frog ate the water flea, and the cat pounced on the frog. But the frog was too quick and SPLASH went the cat straight into the pond.

The moral of the story: the longer the foreplay, the wetter the pussy.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top