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What if, after icing a cake, I'm licking the remains from the butter knife, and an earthquake happens, causing me to fall onto the knife?

What if I die in a few minutes? It's something that bothers me rarely but intensely.

At least I like to think that tha's unlikely...

Edit: What if I suddenly was transported 50 years into the past? How would I convince people I'm from the future? My family? How would my life be then?

RE-EDIT: Wait, you said "real"...

What if the person you are waiting to here from just called while you were checking the messages.

What if pennies are really people?

What if I'm itching my eye area and then someone scares me and I poke my eye out?



What if supervolcanoes? Just that. That's all it takes to freak me out.

What if that pain in my jaw or that lump in my stomach is actually cancer?

What if I graduate and can't find a job and all this work was for nothing?

What if people I care about turn on me and are cruel to me?

Not to be flip, but this immediately made me think of the Shel Silverstein poem:

Last night, while I lay thinking here,
some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
and pranced and partied all night long
and sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I'm dumb in school?
Whatif they've closed the swimming pool?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there's poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don't grow taller?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won't bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems well, and then
the nighttime Whatifs strike again!

What if the girl I hook up with ends up being a direct relation because I was given up for adoption?

What if a Republican wins in 2012?

What if, one night, I'm hanging out alone with someone I've known a long time and trust... and then that person just snaps under some pressure they've been under that I don't know about, and they try to kill me or something?

What if all the weird, supernatural things I'm afraid of at night are leaving me alone BECAUSE I fear them, and the moment I get over my fear, they'll come after me just to prove their existence??

What if we all really are alts of JCM?

What do you mean "what if" we're alts?

What if I'm really not as good as people lead me to believe?

What if I hit a person with my car while I'm driving, and I glance down to check the speedometer?

What if I accidentally called pocket-dialed someone while I'm singing in my car, and they've been listening to me THE WHOLE TIME

Bumble the Boy Wonder said:

What if I accidentally called pocket-dialed someone while I'm singing in my car, and they've been listening to me THE WHOLE TIME

Click to expand...

oh man i have that one too.

Fine said:

What if a Republican wins in 2012?

Click to expand...

What if Sarah Palin runs and wins in 2012?

What if everyone finds out I'm not real?

Cajungal said:

What if, one night, I'm hanging out alone with someone I've known a long time and trust... and then that person just snaps under some pressure they've been under that I don't know about, and they try to kill me or something?

Click to expand...

I have a relative (let's see - my wife's brother's wife's brother...) who was at a sleep over/party. One guy gets a hammer, kills the other kid (who's house they are staying at) and subsequently puts my relative in the hospital. He survived, but suffered significant brain damage. I understand he's completely functional, but just a little off-kilter in observable ways.

So, apparently, not as unlikely as I would have expected.

Oh, the dude that did it is already up for parole only 2+ years later. He's still behind bars, but now those that were affected have to respond to parole hearings every so often and, unless they don't mind him being release, will continue to have to deal with it for the rest of his sentence.

So, as a parent, I have to add the fear:

What if my son's friend is really a closet murderer, and he chooses to come out during a sleepover...

---------- Post added at 09:33 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:32 AM ----------

General Specific said:

What if we all really are alts of JCM?

Click to expand...

What if we aren't? I'd have to assume responsibility for my own craziness.

I just read the book "Everything Will Kill Everybody" - it's basically a good list of things to worry about.

What if everybody knows all your secrets, and are just playing dumb until you own up to them?

What if every act of kindness you've ever know was really an act of pity?

What if bee's?

Vagabond said:

What if bee's?

Click to expand...

I almost got stung by a bee the other day. It's the middle of October damn it! Shouldn't they be dead or hibernating or whatever the hell it is they do all winter?

makare;447121][QUOTE=Vagabond said:

What if bee's?

Click to expand...

I almost got stung by a bee the other day. It's the middle of October damn it! Shouldn't they be dead or hibernating or whatever the hell it is they do all winter?[/QUOTE]


Nest under the house siding and under the window shutters. Your window shutters. The ones next to your bed.





You have bees in your mattress.

Pleasant dreams.

I've mentioned it elsewhere but I periodically get the feeling that no one really likes me, and all my friends are either humoring me or begrudgingly tolerating my presence.

Gusto said:

I've mentioned it elsewhere but I periodically get the feeling that no one really likes me, and all my friends are either humoring me or begrudgingly tolerating my presence.

Click to expand...

You have friends? (I kid, I kid)

I do not fear bees.

Wasps on the other hand....

makare said:

I do not fear bees.

Wasps on the other hand....

Click to expand...

It's that darn Anglo-Saxon personality that makes them hard to live with.

I know it's all lovey this and diddums that.


Bastards.

What if... I have a heart attack on a Friday Afternoon after getting home from work. It would be days before anyone looked for me.

What if Rob Ford is elected mayor of Toronto?



Wait, that happened?! Sonuva...

What if I have another wreck, only this time I'm not as fortunate, and I end up paralyzed?

What if I end up in a knock-down-drag-out with a dirty, and he manages to get the upper hand on me?

What if the next fence I jump over has a gun barrel on the other side?

What if my daughter's apparent early liking of Rap/R&B is a sign of things to come?

First Lady Puffinstuff said:

What if, after icing a cake, I'm licking the remains from the butter knife, and an earthquake happens, causing me to fall onto the knife?

Click to expand...

You could use a thin silicone spatula instead.

Not really a what if... but it fits.

Cleaning your ear with a Q-tip and a strong wind hits the house jarring the bathroom door open and hitting your arm... forcing the Q-tip deep into your ear striking your eardrum... sending your balance off so bad that you get so dizzy that you puke.

It actually happened to a woman I dated when she was a little girl.

Officer_Charon said:

What if my daughter's apparent early liking of Rap/R&B is a sign of things to come?

Click to expand...

Go on.

sixpackshaker said:

a woman I dated when she was a little girl.

Click to expand...

What if they block halforums on my schools wifi for some reason?

What if... everything I say on here makes me look like a total cradle-robbing skeeve.

what if while im sleeping with my arm looped through the headboard I fall of the bed and break my arm or dislocate my shoulder?

(i worry about that one almost every night)

makare said:

what if while im sleeping with my arm looped through the headboard I fall of the bed and break my arm or dislocate my shoulder?

(i worry about that one almost every night)

Click to expand...

Just be sure to start you nights tied, so you don't have to worry about falling.

sixpackshaker;447400][QUOTE=makare said:

what if while im sleeping with my arm looped through the headboard I fall of the bed and break my arm or dislocate my shoulder?

(i worry about that one almost every night)

Click to expand...

Just be sure to start you nights tied, so you don't have to worry about falling.[/QUOTE]

mmm saucy.

sixpackshaker said:

What if... everything I say on here makes me look like a total cradle-robbing skeeve.

Click to expand...

Fine said:

What if my daughter's apparent early liking of Rap/R&B is a sign of things to come?

Click to expand...

Go on.[/QUOTE]


Down, Jesse Jackson. I just don't care for that style of music. Not terribly keen on country, either, but with that being my wife's favorite, I've learned to go along to get along.

What if a semi truck merges onto me and there's just nothing I can do about it?

What if I actually do encounter some sort of paranormal activity? I couldn't ever tell anyone because they'd just think I was a loon!

What if someone wants to just casually walk by and kill me in the street?

Officer_Charon;447433][QUOTE=Fine said:

What if my daughter's apparent early liking of Rap/R&B is a sign of things to come?

Click to expand...

Go on.[/QUOTE]


Down, Jesse Jackson. I just don't care for that style of music. Not terribly keen on country, either, but with that being my wife's favorite, I've learned to go along to get along.[/QUOTE]

I figured you meant that you have nightmares of rump shaking in her future.

makare;447450][QUOTE=Officer_Charon;447433][QUOTE=Fine said:

What if my daughter's apparent early liking of Rap/R&B is a sign of things to come?

Click to expand...

Go on.[/QUOTE]


Down, Jesse Jackson. I just don't care for that style of music. Not terribly keen on country, either, but with that being my wife's favorite, I've learned to go along to get along.[/QUOTE]

I figured you meant that you have nightmares of rump shaking in her future.[/QUOTE]

And I don't think he's ready for that jelly.

phil said:

What if a semi truck merges onto me and there's just nothing I can do about it?

What if I actually do encounter some sort of paranormal activity? I couldn't ever tell anyone because they'd just think I was a loon!

What if someone wants to just casually walk by and kill me in the street?

Click to expand...

What if Phil learns about my plan to casually walk by and kill him in the street?

Gusto;447558][QUOTE=makare;447450][QUOTE=Officer_Charon;447433][QUOTE=Fine said:

What if my daughter's apparent early liking of Rap/R&B is a sign of things to come?

Click to expand...

Go on.[/QUOTE]


Down, Jesse Jackson. I just don't care for that style of music. Not terribly keen on country, either, but with that being my wife's favorite, I've learned to go along to get along.[/QUOTE]

I figured you meant that you have nightmares of rump shaking in her future.[/QUOTE]

And I don't think he's ready for that jelly.[/QUOTE]

I love this dialogue. *hugs monitor*

I thought that would make someone's day.

makare;447450][QUOTE=Officer_Charon;447433][QUOTE=Fine said:

What if my daughter's apparent early liking of Rap/R&B is a sign of things to come?

Click to expand...

Go on.[/QUOTE]


Down, Jesse Jackson. I just don't care for that style of music. Not terribly keen on country, either, but with that being my wife's favorite, I've learned to go along to get along.[/QUOTE]

I figured you meant that you have nightmares of rump shaking in her future.[/QUOTE]

My brother had 3 daughters under the age of 5 when they saw Shreck on VHS... When the tape hit the sing along at the end of the movie and Donkey began singing Baby Got Back. His 3 little girls started shaking their rumps with Dragon on TV...

My brother just let out a dejected sigh of "oh god...."