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Again, stemming off my own work, share with us your vision for a proper fortune cookie message.

Finally, You Can Get Part Of Me Inside A Baked Good

On a side note, at the rate I'm linking my blog here, maybe I should ask for a sub forum and make this my official forum.

My all time favorite:

Man who walk sideways through Airport door, is going to Bangkok.

In bed.

Help! I'm being held hostage in a fortune cookie factory!!

Thread Necromancer said:

Help! I'm being held hostage in a fortune cookie factory!!

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I've hidden the antidote within 200 miles of here. You have 24 hours.

Just read my Facebook, you dolt :-P

Imma let you finish, but the other fortune cookie's fortune is the best fortune of all time!

You could save a fortune by switching to Geico.

Confusius say: Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

If we're going with classics, then I must contribute:

He who farts in church sits in own pew.

He who walks in middle of road gets run down both ways.

Drop watch in toliet, have shitty time.

Found cat. See menu for description

A man who throws dirt will quickly lose ground.

the kanye cookie...

And the help one really made me lol.

Another classic:

This wasn't chicken

Dave said:

In bed.

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... between the sheets.


I taught about 12 oilfield roustabouts that trick one time in a crowded Chinese Buffet. Those loud guys with their Southern and Western accents reading their fortune and saying "..IN BED." after each one was one of the funniest days of my life. The whole place was rolling by time the second guy read his.

Awesome. It's always funny when EVERYONE in a place can get in on a joke.

I have a story about that that veers wildly off topic so I'll digress...

You will find true love on Flag day.

You are being robbed, Apu.

He who takes advice from small pastries is an idiot.

One of the first times I got drunk with my little brother, he launched into a Seinfeld-esque rant about fortune cookies. "They're never fortunes anymore, just statements. They should call them Statement Cookies!"

Next time try the shrimp.

If at first you don't succeed, don't skydive.