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So I'm checking out the new Google Analytics Real Time...

Mar 2, 2012#1

Dave

Looking at the keywords people are using to find us. What pops up? FUCKING MINOTAUR PENIS AGAIN!!!

How the hell did we get to be the #1 site on the whole internet for the search "Minotaur Penis"?!?

Mar 2, 2012#2

HCGLNS

Because Your Majesty is the greatest movie of all time!

Mar 2, 2012#3

Dave

It's "Your Highness".

And if you DO ever Google "minotaur penis" just to check and see if we're still #1 on the list, DO NOT hit "images" by accident.

For the love of God don't hit images.

Mar 2, 2012#4

HCGLNS

I wonder if a Minotaur penis has a phallic bone? Surely since the bottom half is human, a Minotaur penis would not have one. Makes you wonder though, how many times I can type Minotaur penis in a single post without googling said Minotaur penis subject. Not sure why Dave advised against googling Minotaur penis and looking at pictures of Minotaur penis or even if using the phrase Minotaur penis so often does anything to alter googles search results. Irregardless, if a Minotaur is to have a penis, he should probably wear sauna pants.

Mar 2, 2012#5

Dave

Another big draw lately is a search for the term "Cleric of Nethys", which is a Pathfinder thing, I think. And Krisken's painted miniatures brings them in, too.

Mar 2, 2012#6

Allen who is Quiet

Haha, yes, still the internet's #1 source for minotaur penis for some reason!

Mar 2, 2012#7

Dave

But people are still Googling it!!

Mar 2, 2012#8

checkeredhat

Everyone, stop saying minotaur penis.

Mar 2, 2012#9

ThatNickGuy

You know, maybe people wouldn't keep finding us via Minotaur penis if we stopped saying Minotaur penis. I'm just saying, we kind of bring the Minotaur penis upon ourselves by saying Minotaur penis, don't we?

Mar 2, 2012#10

HCGLNS

You need to exploit our Minotaur Penis fame. Make sure google maps lists Halforums key locations as sources of Minotaur penises.

Mar 2, 2012#11

checkeredhat

But do we really want the kind of people who would search for Minotaur penis as members here? Nobody here, to my knowledge, is a minotaur penis enthusiast.
And that brings up another nagging issue, if we want to keep these visitors, lure them and convert them to membership, we need to actually meet their minotaur penis demands, and provide them with more minotaur penis than I, quite frankly, would feel comfortable being on the boards.

Mar 2, 2012#12

drifter

Clearly, we need to diversify. Minotaur vagina.

Mar 2, 2012#13

HCGLNS

We need a Minotaur Penis smiley emoticon thingy!

Mar 2, 2012#14

Allen who is Quiet

"Minotaur Penis minotaur penis Minotaur Penis minotaur penis minotaur penis minotaur penis Minotaur Penis minotaur penis" is one of the longest sentences in the English language to be made up of exactly two words.

It's composed of 3 definitons:
a.- the city of Minotaur Penis
n.- the object of minotaur penis
v.- minotaur penis, meaning to bully or to intimidate

When parsed, it reads [those] (Minotaur Penis minotaur penis) [whom] (Minotaur Penis minotaur penis) minotaur penis, minotaur penis (Minotaur Penis minotaur penis)

Mar 2, 2012#15

HCGLNS

Now I am not drawing any prepositionary conclusions with, but if you look at the images that google turns up for Minotaur penis, you get Sarah Jessica Parker.

Mar 2, 2012#16

Cheesy1

Centaur Twat. You're welcome, Dave.

Mar 2, 2012#17

Dave

What I want to know is: With all this talk of MINOTAUR PENIS is Google giving me an ad for...tutus?

Mar 2, 2012#18

HCGLNS

Nope, just trying to sell me an iPad.

Mar 2, 2012#19

Espy

Still trying to sell me a miniature penis enlarger.

Mar 2, 2012#20

checkeredhat

I'm getting an add for MDG.
Maybe the M stands for Minotaur penis.

Mar 2, 2012#21

bhamv3

checkeredhat said:
But do we really want the kind of people who would search for Minotaur penis as members here? Nobody here, to my knowledge, is a minotaur penis enthusiast.

Mar 2, 2012#22

Ravenpoe

What does it say about me if I've already seen every image in the minotaur penis image search, before ever searching for it?

Mar 2, 2012#23

checkeredhat

That you are actually a minotaur, and take a lot of photos in the bathroom?

Mar 3, 2012#24

Frankie Williamson

Dave said:
Another big draw lately is a search for the term "Cleric of Nethys", which is a Pathfinder thing, I think.

HA HA! The cleric thing is mine! And indeed it is!

Mar 3, 2012#25

Bowielee

ThatNickGuy said:
we kind of bring the Minotaur penis upon ourselves by saying Minotaur penis, don't we?

Ouch...

As for the Tutu ad, I've had that pop up consistantly ever since we've had those ads.

Mar 3, 2012#26

Silver Jelly

Dave said:
What I want to know is: With all this talk of MINOTAUR PENIS is Google giving me an ad for...tutus?

View attachment 4734

Minotaur penises and tutus? Just like Nick's prom night!

Mar 3, 2012#27

ThatNickGuy

Now wait just a cotton picking minute!

Mar 3, 2012#28

Dave

That was a complement, actually.

Mar 3, 2012#29

SpecialKO

Out of curiosity, where are people landing when they come here looking for minotaur penis?

Obviously, this thread is talking about minotaur penis, but since you started this thread after you saw that they were already coming here looking for minotaur penis, they must have been going to a different thread that was also talking about minotaur penis.

Mar 3, 2012#30

Dave

They land in Media Madness in a thread talking about the movie "Your Highness", which has a minotaur penis in it. Apparently, we were the first ones to really talk about it or something and as people Googled it and came here our fame for minotaur penis grew.

Mar 3, 2012#31

SpecialKO

...wow.

You realize that if we get too many people here interested in tauren dong, the entire site could become about arien johnson.

Mar 3, 2012#32

CrimsonSoul

I hit images. Oh dear lord in heaven I hit images!

Mar 3, 2012#33

checkeredhat

CrimsonSoul said:
I hit images. Oh dear lord in heaven I hit images!

Mar 3, 2012#34

SeraRelm

I disbelieve this cock and bull story of yours, Dave.

Mar 3, 2012#35

SpecialKO

Ooooh no, you are not ramming any of those awful puns down our throats. Not in this thread.

Mar 3, 2012#36

bhamv3

Yeah, don't get cocky now.

Mar 3, 2012#37

Dave

Can we steer this in another direction?

Mar 3, 2012#38

CrimsonSoul

Dave said:
Can we steer this in another direction?

It began as any other day, or so I thought. As I was awoken to a woman in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant while cooking bacon I couldn't help but smile, what a perfect place for a woman! But then all of a sudden a Minotaur burst into the room with a penis bigger than any I have ever seen. A Minotaur penis if you will.

(Now everyone else add on to the story, Fan fic!)

Mar 3, 2012#39

Espy

Oh Dave. What have you wrought upon our digital home?

Mar 3, 2012#40

Bowielee

CrimsonSoul said:
It began as any other day, or so I thought. As I was awoken to a woman in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant while cooking bacon I couldn't help but smile, what a perfect place for a woman! But then all of a sudden a Minotaur burst into the room with a penis bigger than any I have ever seen. A Minotaur penis if you will.

(Now everyone else add on to the story, Fan fic!)

I think that would count as slash fic.

Uh, oh, now I've inadvertantly tied slash fic to minotaur penis... this means the doom of us all.

Also, PONIES

Mar 3, 2012#41

HCGLNS

So I am getting supper ready for tomorrow and subdividing the pork roast to an appropriate amount. As I am cutting up the 3ft long 8in in diameter COSTCO pork roast, all I could think was;

Minotaur Penis.

Mar 28, 2012#42

Dave

We're now #2 behind...the minotaur penis Facebook page.

Not sure whether I'm happy about this or not.

Mar 28, 2012#43

SpecialKO

Ok, who here started that Facebook page?

'Fess up!

Mar 28, 2012#44

Allen who is Quiet

http://nooooooooooooooo.com/

Mar 28, 2012#45

Hylian

I for one am appalled and say that we need to do some serious work to get to the top of the minotaur penis search results.

Mar 28, 2012#46

checkeredhat

SpecialKO said:
Ok, who here started that Facebook page?

'Fess up!

Surprisingly, it appears to be unrelated to us.
It's about

Mar 28, 2012#47

Allen who is Quiet

All my emotions:

Mar 28, 2012#48

North_Ranger

Can somebody please tell me whether I should invest in this movie in DVD format? Your Highness never hit the theaters over here... I can't imagine why.

Mar 28, 2012#49

Dave

No. It sucks. The only reason to see it is Natalie Portman and even then she uses a stunt butt.

Mar 28, 2012#50

North_Ranger

Well crap. I could have used some decent fantasy comedy. The last one that even tried was Ella Enchanted and that just blew monkey balls.

Oh well, at least we still have Princess Bride...

Mar 28, 2012#51

Dave

This movie is more like an unfunny Pineapple Express meets Knight's Tale meets a bad renfaire troupe.

The premise is funny but you have to like bad acting and drug humor.

Mar 28, 2012#52

SeraRelm

Dave said:
This movie is more like an unfunny Pineapple Express meets Knight's Tale meets a bad renfaire troupe.

The premise is funny but you have to like bad acting and drug humor.

There was a funny Pineapple Express?

Mar 28, 2012#53

Dave

I loved that movie.

Mar 28, 2012#54

checkeredhat

SeraRelm said:
There was a funny Pineapple Express?

I wasn't a big fan either, but my friends, who are... shall we say... closer to the subject matter, assure me it's hilarious.

Mar 28, 2012#55

Magister Moonie

i found this forum by searching for minotaur penis -hetero

edit: So, good job with your search engine optimization

Mar 29, 2012#56

North_Ranger

Magister Moonie said:
i found this forum by searching for minotaur penis -hetero

edit: So, good job with your search engine optimization

Welcome. Look around and if you like what you see, proceed to Introduce Yourself where we will question you thoroughly

Mar 29, 2012#57

Shegokigo

I described in detail while Your Highness was a hilarious movie..... it's because it was so bad it was bad... wait that didn't come out right. I mean it was good.... no, it wasn't.... but I loved it.

I can't explain it but yeah Your Highness > Pineapple Express or any horrible movie with Seth Rogan in it.

Mar 29, 2012#58

SeraRelm

^ THIS! A thousand times this! I can't stand the guy in almost any role he gets! He was ok in Donnie Darko though.

Mar 29, 2012#59

Thread Necromancer

Dave said:
It's "Your Highness".

And if you DO ever Google "minotaur penis" just to check and see if we're still #1 on the list, DO NOT hit "images" by accident.

For the love of God don't hit images.

This may have been asked, but what if I hit it on purpose?

..... oh....

Jun 12, 2012#60

Krisken

Dave said:
Another big draw lately is a search for the term "Cleric of Nethys", which is a Pathfinder thing, I think. And Krisken's painted miniatures brings them in, too.

Hey, somehow I missed this. Sweet!

Jun 12, 2012#61

FnordBear

Now all we need is a painted miniature of a Cleric of Nethys pummeling cosplayers with a severed Minotaur penis. That should seal the deal for us.

Jun 12, 2012#62

Dave

Krisken said:
Hey, somehow I missed this. Sweet!

Googling yourself again, Krisken?

Jun 12, 2012#63

Krisken

Dave said:
Googling yourself again, Krisken?

I'll have you know I have no need to google myself as I always know where I've been

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